The light burns and sears my soul,
Taking what life still breathes in me,
And burning it,
Wrenching out what life I have. - Barbara Marjanovic
The lights flashed too quickly to count. It was like I was on a high speed train blazing down the subway tunnels; the only thing guiding my way were the lights. Black, white, black, white. One, two, three, four.
Absolutely nothing I had been through the past two weeks was as bad as this. Absolutely nothing. No amount of burning, no amount of pain could ever be compared to this. If I had wanted to die before, I wanted to die ten times over now. My heart disagreed, pounding too hard, too quickly in my chest to keep me alive. The heat surged through my veins like acid, eating away at me until there was nothing left; until my heart grew weaker and weaker…
But right before I took my last breath, there was a ripping feeling from within me. It didn't feel at all like a physical pain, nor was it emotional. It was like my identity… my definition was being torn apart
There was one second before I blacked out, before all my senses were cut off, that I could hear everything. I heard from my mother, a strangled cry, from my father, a promise to kill whoever did this to his daughter, and from Jacob… From Jacob, I heard nothing at all.
Then it was dark.
Her heart stopped beating.
It almost seemed like they had changed their mind. Emmett, Alice, Jasper… all the people who said we should put her out of her misery were suddenly quiet as if they had never said a thing. Because once her heart gave out on her, we all stood on equal ground. No matter what we voted on, it didn't matter, because it brought justice to no one.
I stood still. We all did.
That string... those steel cables that held us together... they were tugged and pulled and burned and scratched, but they were not broken. Like talking through paper cups, I could still feel her heartbeat among those cables. Maybe it was aftershock.
Carlisle looked down. "That's all I can do."
I wanted to punch him. Hard. But I didn't, because I was busy staring at her, waiting for some sort of response. The one who at one point was so full of life, but now lay pale and still. The one who gave me a reason to live my life, and had hers taken away. But she wasn't dead. She wasn't gone. Because I could still feel the pull on those cables... that string. And it lifted my up, up, up into the air until my reality was far from theirs, and I knew for myself what was true.
She was still here. A stopped heart wouldn't tell me otherwise. Death was not an option. The room spun around me- no, spun around her, as she lay motionless. A few minutes, or so it felt, passed by.
"Please, open your eyes." Bella whispered. Edward placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Love, she's go-"
And then she opened her eyes. Her heart didn't beat, she didn't breathe.
At that moment, all I could think was, "Told you so."