DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN GG NOR THE SONGS 'Change the World' by Max Alto and 'Shining Collection' by Michihiro Kuroda AS WELL AS ITS ENGLISH TRANSLATION (from animelyrics -.- com).
Author's note: OMG S06 set pics! HahaXD Saw Chace & Ed almost holding hands. My heart leapt in shipper joy. hahaXD Yup, I ship that irl brotp so fucking hard (sounds so wrong X_x hahaXD)!
As for the wedding spoilers of GG, well… I get why everyone thinks it's Chair, I thought so too at first, but then this morning… I frowned as I realized that it could be Bart/Lily renewing their vows…? o,O
Watchet on Watch
~the attitude of a traveler who leaves everything behind and embarks on a journey
~a volatile situation
~the need to be wary of sudden disasters or hardships
*Taken from the manga "The Tarot Cafe" (Chapter 12) by Park Sang-sun
Chapter V: Home Bittersweet Home
Yuuutsu no ori de odoru jiyuu to uso ni tsuranukare
Moroku maichiru puzzle kono shihai kara tobitate
/Dancing in a cage of depression, pierced by lies of freedom
A fragile puzzle scatters about Fly me away from this dominion.../
-Shining Collection, sung by Michihiro Kuroda (from Gravitation)
Blair could feel the anxiety in Chuck as he gripped her hand, especially when they entered New York City. His hand became clammy in her hold as they neared the Palace. With her free hand, Blair rubbed his fingers that were cold despite the heater in the rental car. He was taking deep breaths that from time to time shook when he exhaled.
Jack had made it clear that they were to head to New York as soon as possible. He only gave them three hours to pack, but really, Chuck and Blair came to Virginia with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and they had only acquired a few things during their stay. It wasn't like the two shopped around or looked for souvenirs. They mainly stayed cooped inside the house. The pair didn't really have anything to take back with them, except perhaps, the Christmas gifts they had received.
On their departure, Chuck and Blair decided to wear formal clothes. They couldn't very well return in the clothes they left in. Even with the midtown wardrobe they'd been wearing over the course of their Southern stay, god forbid, Chuck and Blair never wore the same clothes twice. At the attic, Chuck and Blair sifted through the garments of the late Misty as well as her deceased father's suits. Blair chose a classic vintage dress reminiscent of the Prohibition era, while Chuck donned a dark blue suit his grandfather owned. Among the clothes collection at the attic, they also found thick winter coats that matched their outfits.
As soon as they descended the stairs, no time was wasted as they immediately departed. Jack had gotten them a rental car with a driver who would be following behind Jack's limo. Blair suspected Jack needed privacy for calls, and didn't want Chuck nor her to hear any conversation he might have. Chuck didn't raise any question at the separate cars and Blair kept her thoughts to herself, deciding to just give the benefit of the doubt but still be wary. She didn't trust Jack to have Chuck's best interests at heart.
The streets were familiar, and Blair knew that in a few minutes, they would be stopping in front of the Palace. Chuck gripped her hand and faced her. "I'm just going to get a few things from my room, and then I'm leaving. I won't be staying long."
"Where are you going?"
Chuck shrugged. "Back to 1812. I don't want to be around them right now." He stared contemplatively at her before speaking again. "If you want to stay and catch up with Serena, I won't mind."
Blair smiled softly as she laid her free hand on top of his, which was holding her other hand. "Why don't you stay at the penthouse with me? My mother and Cyrus aren't back yet."
Before they left the house, Blair called Dorota, who cried with relief over the phone at finally hearing from her. After informing Dorota of her wellbeing, Blair then told her maid that she and Chuck were in NYC and would arrive at the Waldorf penthouse in the evening. Since Blair asked about Eleanor, Dorota told her that her mother was still somewhere in the tropics, and a return date was not yet fixed.
"Haven't you grown tired of being under the same roof with me?"
Blair shook her head. "No." Perhaps it was due to being back in the city, that Blair turned a bit playful as she batted her eyes and coyly smiled at him. "Please?"
Chuck shook his head as he chuckled at her expression and kissed her cheek. "Okay. I'll stay with you."
The ding of the elevator signaled that they had arrived at the van der Bass penthouse, the sliding doors opening too quickly for Chuck. Jack stepped out first, and Blair found herself somewhat dragging Chuck across the threshold.
The van der Woodsens along with the Humphreys were sitting on the couches in the foyer. They all stood when they heard the elevator ding, and while the Humphreys stayed behind, Lily, Eric and Serena stood and immediately approached the newcomers, but before they could get closer, Chuck turned away to head up the stairs, avoiding a greeting from his stepfamily.
"I've brought my prodigal nephew back, Lily. As you asked." Jack said as a way of announcing their arrival.
"Thank you, Jack." Lily replied, looking dejectedly at Chuck's back as he disappeared upstairs.
"Now can we get down to business? Starting with the will reading?" Jack spoke to Lily, exasperation evident in his voice.
Lily spared him a slight frowning glance. "We'll talk later."
Rolling his eyes, Jack sauntered to the couches to take a seat, and Rufus engaged him in small conversation.
Blair was left standing.
Serena enveloped her best friend into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much, B. I'm so glad you're back."
Blair returned the welcome hug. "I missed you too, S."
"Now I know how you felt when I suddenly left for boarding school." That was all in the past, and Serena knew that Blair hadn't intended to punish her or show her what Blair had gone through when the blonde just up and left for boarding school out of guilt. But Serena couldn't help but think this was some form of karma.
Serena still hadn't let go, but a tap on their arms made the reunited best friends pull apart. Blair gave Eric a quick but nonetheless heartfelt hug.
"How's Chuck?" Eric inquired, concern apparent in his voice.
"I can't say he's fine, but he's coping. It's still a daily struggle," Blair knew what really plagued the young boy. "Don't mind the silent treatment," Blair gave a reassuring squeeze on Eric's arm. "It'll pass. He's not angry at you. He's just not ready to face you yet."
This time, Lily stepped forward. "It's good to see you, Blair." Serena and Eric made room for Lily, who also gave Blair a hug. This time though, Blair felt a part of her stiffen in her best friend's mother's arms. Blair did not put her arms around Lily.
If Lily sensed Blair's cold regard, she didn't make it known. She smiled uneasily as she pulled away. "We have a surprise welcome back dinner just for the two of you. I hope you and Charles aren't too tired."
Blair's upbringing always groomed her to be polite even if it was feigned. But Blair couldn't help but be dismissive, though she restrained herself. "We're not staying. Chuck's just getting a few things and we'll be leaving when he comes down. We're having dinner at my place."
Lily sighed and her face held disbelief and concern. "But... he should be with family during this time. Maybe you could convince him to stay here?" Lily's hands wrung together. "He can have dinner in his room if he doesn't want to join us tonight, but he... he really should be with us."
Blair snidely smiled, feeling chagrin bubble through her restraint. "I don't think so, Lily. While your offer seems to be for Chuck's benefit, it's out of guilt," Blair eyes looked past Lily to glare at the Brooklyn family settled in the living room. "And not out of concern for Chuck." Blair raised her nose as she regarded Lily, making her displeasure known, hoping to make Lily grow uncomfortable. "He already blames himself for killing his mother because he thinks Bart does. He doesn't need to also blame himself for his father's death because you blamed him. So no, I don't think it's for the best if he stays here." Blair risked Serena's and Eric's anger at a disrespectful gesture towards their mother, but Blair just had to lash out, albeit in a subdued way.
"Blair!" Serena chastised her best friend. She recognized Blair's tone, the same tone she used when taking down someone or pegging someone's self-esteem a notch or two.
Blair gave a glance and a shrug to Serena, indicating that she was standing by what she had said and would not apologize. Blair couldn't believe Lily had the audacity to invite the Humphrey family to a dinner in honor of Chuck's return. Not even a month after her husband's demise and it seemed as if she were rubbing her love affair with Rufus Humphrey on Chuck's face, like salt and pepper and chili to dress a fresh wound. At that point, Lily seemed to embody the evil stepmother archetype in Blair's eyes.
Chuck descended the stairs, his resounding footsteps alerting Blair and the rest to his presence. He carried a small travel bag. Blair turned to push the button for the elevator, and Chuck bypassed his stepfamily to stand beside Blair as they both faced the elevator doors. It didn't take long for it to open and Chuck and Blair stepped inside, nobody daring to call out and stop their exit.
"So when is dinner going to be served?" Jack asked with a cocky grin he always sported, right after the elevator closed in on Chuck and Blair.
"Miss Blair!" Dorota engulfed her newly returned ward in a tight embrace, which Blair returned. Though Harriet was helpful, she was not as attentive and thorough like Dorota when it came to attending to Blair. Dorota mumbled tearily in Polish, and Blair could only catch snippets, but the message was about concern, not knowing where Blair was or what was happening to her.
"Dorota," Blair's voice was endearing in jest, "you're crushing me!"
The Polish maid pulled away, using her apron to wipe at the corner of her eyes. "I very sorry, Miss Blair. Just very glad you are finally home."
Blair offered a smile and gave another quick hug to Dorota once more. "Do you know when Mother is coming back from her honeymoon?"
Dorota looked at Chuck who was standing behind Blair, just observing their interaction. "I not know when Miss Eleanor and Mister Cyrus arrive."
Blair nodded. "Okay. Well, Dorota, Chuck's staying here in the meantime."
Chuck gave a polite nod at the maid when she looked at him. "I prepare guest room."
Blair shook her head. "No need, Dorota. He's staying with me in my room." Blair ignored the Polish maid's disapproving stare as she muttered under pursed lips in Polish ("God always watching"). Blair took Chuck's hand and they went upstairs to her room.
That night, Chuck and Blair lay on her bed, facing each other and wide awake, staring at each other beyond the darkness that seemed like a wall in between their sight.
"I can't sleep." Blair whispered.
"Why? What's wrong?"
Blair bit her lip in hesitance, but their runaway days had taught her to be bold, to say out loud the things that really meant something instead of leaving it in your heart, unspoken and unheard. "You're not thinking of leaving while I'm sleeping, are you?"
Chuck kept quiet, sensing that Blair was unfinished.
Blair drew a deep breath and released a shaky sigh. "I'm scared that I'm going to wake up alone and find a note from you. And I won't know where you're going, or when—if—you're coming back."
Blair laid a hand on his cheek, her thumb caressing the skin below his eye. In response, Chuck turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand before taking it in his.
"I'm not going anywhere, Blair. I really don't have anywhere to go, except where you are."
"You promise you won't leave?"
Chuck shook his head no. "If you want, you can hold my hand throughout the night to make sure I don't go anywhere."
Blair giggled, and the sound caused Chuck to crack a small smirk. Chuck squirmed a bit closer, so close that they could feel their exhales colliding. Their noses were touching, their foreheads leaning against each other, all the while their eyes were closed, enjoying the skin-on-skin connection. Blair was the one who closed the gap between their lips with a soft kiss, which Chuck gave more pressure and urgency as one of his hands grasped Blair's nape and pulled her closer, if it were possible. With the vigor of the kiss, Blair flipped them so she was straddling Chuck. Their entangled lips lost contact for a while with the change in position. Blair combed her fingers through Chuck's hair before leaning down to place a kiss on op of his heart. She then went up higher to kiss his neck. When Blair reached his lips, she whispered, "I love you," before delving her tongue into his mouth.
Chuck's hands were on her hips, stroking and squeezing. They were rocking against each other, although they were in no hurry. When they made love these days, it was slow and sensuous, as though they were dedicating time to taste and feel each other's skin, engraving the moment in their memory. It made time seem to slow down just for them, and each second seemed to be little grains of forever they spent with one another. Though the movement and acts of their bodies were no different from before, there was a definite distinction between making love and casual sex. Back then, they were always in a frenzy, hurrying to reach that climactic end. But now, they did it more to feel connected like they never were with anyone else, as if somehow for just a few minutes, they were a whole, as though their souls were reunited at last, missing pieces of themselves filled and broken parts renewed. That in a world where they were brought into on their own, they were not alone. And though these private, intimate moments had their duration, the connection was never lost, only reforged until the next.
This intimacy, Chuck realized back then, was what he had been searching for. He had been with countless women in the act of sex, but he had only felt this, found this, with Blair. And it was this connection, this bond that gripped him so, that assured him even with his insecurity and doubt, that he could not leave her, not now, not ever. His heart was already chained to Blair.
But sometimes, in the dark of the night, alone with his thoughts, he wondered if it was the same for Blair.
Blair awoke to a flurry of butterfly kisses along her face. When Chuck's lips landed on hers, she deepened the kiss with a sigh of content and raked her fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots.
When they pulled apart, Blair's eyes were closed as she sighed with a smile on her lips. "G'morning," she whispered.
Chuck responded with a kiss. "It is a good morning when I wake up to you."
Blair bit her bottom lip as she smiled. "Say it."
"I love you too."
"Now it's a perfect morning," Blair said as she resumed their make-out.
"I'm going to take a shower," Chuck said against her lips, "You're invited to join."
Blair gave a coy grin. "I think a joint shower is a very good way to start the morning."
Chuck immediately shot up from the bed, a chuckling Blair following closely behind as they headed to the bathroom.
Blair was giggling as Chuck got out first while she was left to finish washing up. They'd caught up on morning sex in the shower, and it definitely improved the mood for the day. Once Blair was done, she put on her bathrobe and got out of the bathroom to see Chuck buttoning his shirt in front of her mirror. Unable to resist, Blair embraced him from behind while pressing a kiss on his shoulderblade.
"I'm going to get Dorota to prepare breakfast, alright?" Blair said as she made her way to the door. When she swung open the door, she was not expecting to come face to face with her mother, her face holding back fury. Blair's smile disappeared and Chuck was frozen in his position as he turned his head to see who was at the door.
"M-Moth—" Blair was not able to finish as she was cut off by a slap from Eleanor. Blair stumbled backwards from shock as she held her stinging cheek. It was then that Chuck sprang into action and raced to her, wrapping his arms around her.
Eleanor, still not having spoken a word, now entered Blair's room. She stalked towards the two, her hand raised. Blair shut her eyes tightly in fear of what was to come as Chuck held her closer, an arm around her shoulders and a hand at the back of her head, pressing her face into his chest.
"How dare you… How DARE you!" Eleanor screamed as she started to slap them repeatedly. Eleanor ended up just hitting Chuck as he had Blair in an embrace that shielded her from Eleanor's assault.
Blair only caught a few parts of her mother's rant: "Shameless…! …do this to me…! …What were you THINKING? …ruined…! …not thinking straight! …Harold will HEAR about this! …absolutely irresponsible…!"
Chuck was turning whichever way to prevent Eleanor from reaching Blair. By this time, Cyrus and Dorota had stepped into the room and were holding back the enraged Eleanor.
"If you are pregnant, I swear to God, I am disowning you! I refuse to have a shameless hussy for a daughter!"
"Stop!" Chuck's voice boomed, causing Eleanor to lose her voice.
He took a deep breath in order to gather his thoughts and his errant feelings. He decided he shouldn't lash back a Eleanor; it would only worsen the situation. So he decided to mediate peace and order and disprove Eleanor's demeaning comments about Blair. He let go of Blair to step in front of her to be her shield in case Eleanor decided to attack her once again. "First of all, Blair is not pregnant." Eleanor just turned up her nose at him, letting him speak. Chuck continued, "
"I think it's best that I leave so the two of you can talk."
"Yes, that would be best." Eleanor replied, cold fury lacing her tone.
Chuck has taken just one step when Blair grabbed a fistful of his shirt from behind. He turned to see Blair shaking her head vehemently.
"No! No, you can't leave—" She stilled when Chuck placed a hand on her nape to draw closer so he could place a kiss on her forehead.
"I'll be staying in 1812. Don't worry about me," he reassured her as he pulled away and gathered the small luggage he had with him. Chuck sidestepped Cyrus just as he was leaving the room, and gazed back one last time to Blair before he left the room. He didn't want to leave Blair alone to deal with Eleanor's anger, but he knew his presence was actually making things worse and causing Eleanor's rage to build up. He knew Blair and her mother needed to talk without his distraction. Cyrus, as a last attempt to be polite, escorted Chuck to the elevator.
When Chuck and Cyrus had left, Eleanor dismissed Dorota from the room before she began her tirade. Blair sat on her bed, looking down on her lap as her mother paced back and forth in front of her, arms flailing as she shouted.
"How could you do this to me? Do you know how many reporters have tried to get in touch with me for a statement?"
Although Eleanor's voice reverberated past the walls of her bedroom, it couldn't quite penetrate through Blair's thoughts, which were on Chuck even at that moment.
"I was supposed to be de-stressing in my honeymoon and enjoying some quality time with my new husband, but instead, I am plagued by reporters trying to get a response from me and Lily calling several times a day to ask me if I've heard from you and Charles! Not to mention your father has been on my case for letting this happen! So instead of enjoying the sun with Cyrus, I'm on the phone or on the computer coordinating with PIs in looking for you! None of us knew where you were or if you were safe or God knows what! We were afraid of what we might find, or what state you two would be in. Do you have any idea of the gravity of what you two have done? The repercussions..."
At this point, Blair knew every question presented was rhetorical. Blair kept her head down and stayed silent, deciding that not interrupting her mother's scolding would be best.
Chuck entered 1812 with what small luggage he had with him. He hadn't been here much ever since Bart had gotten married. For once, Bart wanted to be in the same house as him. Chuck had tried not to let his enthusiasm show. When his father had given him his suite, that added to his cool factor with his peers, but Chuck had been bitter. Not even eighteen yet and it was like his father was kicking him out to live on his own already. It didn't matter that his father funded his luxurious lifestyle. Chuck had felt thrown aside with this "gift", like his father wanted him out of the way.
Wanting to get rid of the gloom of his thoughts, Chuck ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots a bit harder, as if doing so would dig out the thoughts in his head. He didn't want to remember his father, so he slammed the door close, threw his bag somewhere to the side, and headed off to the bar to get wasted.
He did not know how much refills he's had when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that he received a text from Dorota (probably by Blair's orders). It informed him that Blair was grounded for an indefinite amount of time, she had a curfew (meaning she had to get home straight after her classes), and her phone was confiscated.
Chuck sighed. He felt guilt for putting Blair in a bad position with her mother. He shouldn't have taken her with him, she would've been better off without him...
A knock on the door interrupted Chuck's solitude. He had no idea who would come for him this late in the night. He groaned, hoping that it wouldn't be anyone from the van der Woodsens.
He trudged to the door unwillingly. When he swung the door open, he was surprised to see the one person he wanted to be with. Before he could get a word out, he was enveloped in a hug, her arms around his neck.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, although disbelief still swirled in his muddled head along with the buzz of alcohol. "Blair? What are you doing here?"
He held on to her like a lifeline, the warmth and softness of her skin convincing him that she wasn't an illusion conjured by his alcohol-addled senses. "What are you doing here so late? I got the text from Dorota saying you're grounded with a curfew and your phone was taken away."
"Ugh, I know," Blair rolled her eyes irately at the inconveniences brought about by the conditions of her punishment. "Eleanor practically has me under martial law." She shook her head. "Anyway, I snuck out with Dorota's help and Cyrus' blessing," Blair let out a breath of triumph as she raked her fingers through his hair and then briefly pecked his lips once more. " Eleanor was already asleep when I took off. It's a good thing she sleeps like a log. She will sleep through a hurricane or an earthquake to get her eight-hour beauty sleep."
They share a small laugh at this, and then Blair wraps her arms around his neck to enter in his embrace again. "I'll stay with you until dawn because I have to get home before Mother wakes up and finds me gone." She pulled back to look into his eyes. "I don't want you to be alone. You shouldn't be alone."
Chuck smiled as he kissed her with a dreamy sigh. "I'm not anymore."
This is the feeling you'll understand
The troubled life...
It won't be too bad to face
And any problem you will see
Will not to be too hard
If I can walk beside you...
-Change the World (English version), sung by Max Alto (Inuyasha 1st OP)
A/n: Thank you to all those who read this update! ^_^ I hope people are still reading this. X_x Are there readers of this fic still? o,O Hope you leave a review. ^_^ TEAM CHAIR FTW!
I'm almost finished with Ch9 of "Romance & Revenge". However, I need help with this tiny detail. There's this scene in 1.18 where S&B are in B's room as she packs for Tuscany. Well, B has this line:
"He wanted to see his dad before he left. Besides, we're taking the helicopter to Teeterborough/Peterborough(?). I have to sit in the jumpseat so that I can tell the pilot if I have any thoughts on his flying."
I'm not sure of the underlined word. Can anyone tell me what word Blair actually said in that scene? Sorry, I'm just really nitpicky about details like this. I promise that the next chapter of R&R will be posted this week. THANK YOU! ^_^