JACOB BLACK'S GUIDE TO BEING A WEREWOLF
CHAPTER 4: RULES AND REGULATIONS
Disclaimer: I'm still not SM. I'm a high school student, therefore she has a lot more money than me. It would be cool to have that much money though...
A/N: WOW! I'm sorry about the long wait guys! Seriously, some of you guys were probably wondering if I was alive or not... well things got really crazy and I had absolutely no inspiration for this story. At all. I figured I better wait it out and get inspiration to produce something worth reading than just put some crap out there. Anyways, I won't do that again... cause I know how it is... it really makes people mad to wait such a long time for a story they like. Okay... I'll shut up now... Enjoy the long awaited 4th chapter! Please review!
Once I arrived downstairs, I noticed something was off immediately. I forgot the food smell coming from the numerous pots and pans on the stove when I noticed there were people in my kitchen. Not just Billy and Embry, but Sam was there along with Emily, Jared and Paul. Something was up.
"Was there some kind of tribe meeting I didn't know about?" I asked. All eyes abruptly turned to me.
"You could say that," Quil smirked.
"Jacob, because of last night we have some business to do," Billy told me, scooting his wheelchair to where he was directly in front of me.
Sam walked over, leaving Emily by the sink to stand beside my dad. He looked me straight in the eye, then looked away quickly, like he was nervous. I looked at them all; every person in the room was looking at anything but me.
"Will someone tell me what's going on?" I yelled, me voice increasing in pitch with every word I said. I noticed my hands started to shake, tremors rolled through my chest. Without even realizing it, my teeth were clenched in anger, and my breath came out in short seething spurts.
"Jake, calm down. You don't want to do that in here," Quil warned, taking a step toward me. His eyes looked panicked.
"Why NOT?" I demanded. I couldn't even remember why I was so angry. My mind clouded in a haze of angry red. The tremors were getting worse by the second, my whole body was shaking violently.
"Jacob. Please," It was Emily this time, her face lacked the panic that everyone else's had. She didn't come near me. Her face was sad as she turned her head slightly toward me, showing me her scars from the bear accident a year ago. The scars were still an angry pink, standing out slightly from her face. They started at her hairline and continued to her chin, marring her mouth into a permanent grimace. I'd seen her scars before... Why was she showing them to me again to me now?
"Jacob, don't. Not in here, you could kill us all in this small space," Sam warned.
My shaking slowed down as I thought of it.
If I phased here it could kill them all; the size of the kitchen was definitely not big enough to accommodate six people and a werewolf. It wasn't big enough to hold one werewolf.
I looked to each face, seeing the same emotions on every one of them. The guys all had a look of comprehension on their face that was mixed with undeniable fear. All of them were faintly shuddering, ready to phase at any given moment to stop me from losing control. Emily and Billy were different though; Billy looked shocked, unable to produce any other emotion at the moment. I guess he still couldn't grasp the fact that his son was a giant wolf now. I couldn't believe it either.
Emily's scarred face was different form them all. She still didn't show any signs of apprehension or fear. Her face was calm, as if she'd dealt with this same issue a thousand times before. However, when I looked into her deep brown eyes, I saw something else. Sadness. Complete and utter devastation.
Emily looked as though she were about to cry at any second, her face far off not seeing me or any of the other guys in front of her. It was like she was remembering something from long ago.
I searched her chestnut eyes, and caught myself thinking of another pair of brown eyes. Though the ones I thought of were much more beautiful than these.
Bella's eyes were a deep chocolate, so deep you could lose yourself in their insurmountable depths. When she looked at you it took your breath away. In her gaze you felt her eyes penetrate your soul, seeing everything you were, are, and will ever be.
I thought of Bella and my shaking completely halted.
"Jacob?" A worried voice came from in front of me, it took me a second to realize it was my father. Billy raised his eyebrows in question, "You okay now, Jake? You have it under control?"
I shook myself mentally, coming out of my stupor.
"Yeah," I said, my voice still held the quietest element of a quiver. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"Good," Sam replied as my dad nodded in consent.
"Well, I guess we know what the first thing we should work on is," Quil laughed.
Everyone turned to face him.
"Jake's gotta learn some control," he said, "We don't need him phasing every time he gets pissed."
Later that day, I sat on a log at La Push, thinking about the day's events.
Sam taught me how to control my phasing better; you had to think of some kind of deterrent to get your mind off of the anger. He told me he thought of Emily, but he didn't tell me why.
I discovered I thought of Bella. Her warm eyes and smile were like home to me. I imagined her holding my hand again like she had done so many times before. Thinking about Bella caused me some uncirtainty though... What would I tell her? Would she still like me after she found out I was no longer human?
She had to.
I had a feeling she would forgive Edward for leaving her, so why wouldn't she accept what I couldn't help?
It was in my genetics. I had absolutely no control over what I was.
Hopefully Bella would still see me as Jacob. I was still Jacob, her best friend, the one who was always there for her.
Yeah, and I was a werewolf now.
I scoffed at my inner ramblings as I threw a smooth stone onto the water. The rock skipped three times before sinking into the ocean with a soft plunk.
I stared out into the waves for a long while, watching them gently crash against the shore. The roar of the sea was surprisingly comforting to my ears.
Then, I heard a soft crunch of tennis shoes on the strange mixture of gravel and sand that formed the beach's shore. It was amazing how good I could hear now... I could differentiate between the sound of bare feet walking on the beach versus someone that was in some beat up old tennis shoes, jogging toward my spot.
I turned and saw the person I least expected to come pay me a visit. Sam, wearing a pair of beat up Converse and some sweat pants jogged toward me, slowing as he came to sit beside me.
"Hey, Jacob," he said looking at me, smirking slightly.
"Hey," I mumbled in reply. I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk with someone I hated right now. I crossed my arms and laid back onto one of the dead branches sticking out from the log I sat on. I heard Sam chuckle slightly under his breath.
"I bet you want to know why I'm here," Sam said dryly.
"Yep," I responded. I only wanted to know why he was here so I could find out how to get him to go away. I wanted to be alone for once, couldn't he get that?
"It's about something that popped into your head when we were working on your control today," he said, still looking at me intensely. This made me look at him.
We had discussed earlier today about the connection of the pack in their wolf forms. We could speak to each other through our minds, no matter how far away we were. I had to admit that was pretty cool, Quil and I tested it out for a while.
However, I didn't know Sam was listening in as well, so I raised my eyebrows in disbelief looking him straight in the eye.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything," he rushed out, explaining himself. "I just kind of heard it."
"It's alright I guess," I sighed, I supposed I would have to get used to these weird wolf things sooner or later.
Sam nodded. "Well," he started, "It's about Emily."
I was instantly confused, "What's Emily got to do with this?"
"I guess it's another wolf lesson," he smirked again, using the little phrase Quil had came up with to describe all my questions about being a werewolf. Then he instantly became serious. "What do you know about what happened to Emily?" He asked.
"Not much, just a bear mauled her when she was on a hike is all," I replied, shrugging.
"No," Sam said quietly.
"No?" I questioned. "Emily wasn't attacked by a bear?"
"No," Sam said again, turning his gaze to stare at the crashing waves. "It wasn't a bear."
But that was what Billy told me. Sam had been completely torn up about it, saying it was all his fault. We kept telling him it wasn't, that it was all because of the bear. He kept denying it, blaming himself over and over.
Sensing my confusion, Sam started to talk again, but this time his voice barely higher than a whisper.
"Remember when Leah Clearwater and I used to date?" He asked, turning to me for a second and I could see tears shining in his eyes.
"Yeah," I wasn't really willing to say anything else, everyone never talking about Sam and Leah to either one of the two was a very touchy subject, so I waited for him to continue.
He took a deep breath a let it out in a sigh, "That's before I phased the first time. We almost had it all; we loved each other, I was going to propose to her, but then this," he said gesturing to himself, indicating the phasing, "happened. To say it screwed everything up would put it lightly.
"I phased one night, the littlest thing set me off; a fight with my friend over the phone. You see, I had been so happy with Leah that I had postponed the phasing for a while."
This sounded oddly like what happened to me.
"When I first realized what happened, I thought I had gone crazy," Sam continued. "I was in my room, and because of what happened, my room was in shreds. I thought I had some mental problem now, as I looked into the shattered pieces of mirror and saw a huge black dog staring back at me. I panicked and did the only thing I could think of, I ran. My body hurt, like knives were twisted into every joint, but I kept running because I didn't know what else to do. I'm sure you remember this though," he said looking at me again. "They had just about the entire town out looking for me. Leah," at her name his voice broke a little, "she... she was worried sick. I finally figured out how to phase back. I came back, saying I had just gotten lost in the woods. They believed me.
"Things were good for a while, I tried to pretend like nothing happened. Then one day I met Old Quil and shook his hand, I didn't know my skin was a different temperature." He laughed a little at this. "Old Quil sat me down after the tribe meeting and asked me some questions, and I answered them. Finally, he explained what had happened. It was nice to know I wasn't crazy.
"Life went on and the my secret still was secret, no one knew but the tribal elders and myself. Jared and Paul phased not too long after I did. We became best friends and everything was fine. Leah and I were happy."
His breath hitched a little and I knew this was where the trouble started.
"Then Leah's cousin, Emily, came to town for a visit. The first time I saw her, it was instant. I felt compelled to protect her with all I had, the strongest urge to do everything for her, be everything for her."
Tears ran swiftly down his face now, and his voice choked as he spoke.
"I-I loved her."
He broke into sobs now, his pain was so clear. I remembered the day her broke up with Leah. They both were like zombies, living but not really there. Then when he was around Emily, he smiled. You could see pain and hurt in his eyes when he did, and we all knew it was because he was so torn up over what happened with Leah. It broke both their hearts. You could tell he wanted time to grieve for what he had lost with Leah, but just couldn't when he was around Emily.
"I hated myself for what I did to Leah. I still do. I'll never forgive myself for hurting her," Sam vowed.
"Then why did you do it?" I asked. I couldn't help it, I had to know. He could have avoided so much pain if he just ignored what happened with Emily. He could've just ignored his feelings for her.
"It wasn't something I could just ignore Jacob," he sighed. "It was... Well... Have- have you ever heard of imprinting?" He looked at me curiously.
"Can't say that I have," I replied.
"Well, it's like true love, I guess, or love at first sight, just a whole lot stronger and much more powerful. It happens when a werewolf meets his true match, his soul mate. It's unavoidable and undeniable. There's no going back once you've imprinted on someone. So, as much as I didn't want to leave Leah, I had to. It was something I could put off all I wanted to, but it was still going to happen in the end. Now, she hates me. She absolutely despises me. She won't be in the same room with me for more than five seconds. But, honestly, I hate myself more for hurting her like that.
"Emily hated me too, Leah was like her sister. I was the enemy in her eyes, the traitor boyfriend that broke her best friend, and cousin's, heart. I did all sorts of things to try to win her over, but she wouldn't have it. She hated me too.
" Then, one day, I went to her house. I told her we needed to talk. I told her about the imprinting thing, my irrevocable attraction to her. When I told her I was in love with her she just about screamed bloody murder. She said I would just hurt her like I did Leah. That I didn't love her, and she didn't want to see me again. That set me off, I lost control and I phased."
At that moment, every was quiet except for the constant ebb of the waves. I looked over at Sam, his eyes had glazed over as he stared out into the constant tide. I felt so bad for him, I now understood why he had been such a wreck those days. It really was his fault.
"It wasn't a bear that mauled Emily," he whispered so lightly that I could hardly hear him, a product of so much emotional pain. "It was me."
I didn't know how to reply to that, so I followed his gaze out to the ever rolling tide. I watched the waves swell and proceed to crash over the rocks of the shore. The action was repeated as we sat in a comfortable silence. The cycle of the waves never changed, it was guaranteed that the wave would rise on the waters then inevitably crash against the beach. I watched the water move in the slight breeze; at least one thing never changed.
"But," Sam started again, "I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. Emily never blamed me for what I did to her, never once was mad at me. I don't know why or how she came to love me; Billy and Old Quil swear it's because I never left her side one minute during her recovery.
"It still bewilders me to this day, why she doesn't hate me for what I did. I hate myself, more than anyone could possibly imagine."
"Why are you telling me this Sam?" It cam out before I could stop it. It had now become more than another 'werewolf lesson' as it had been at first. It was something much much more... Sam told me this for a reason...
He turned and looked me directly in the eye for the first time in the entire conversation.
"Jacob," His eyes hardened perceptively as he spoke, "Werewolves are extremely dangerous creatures, especially young ones. You can never tell when someone might say the wrong thing. At such a young age right now, you could phase accidentally phase and if Bella was too close...I'm sorry to tell you this, but this is what happened to Emily would happen to Bella if you continued to be around her. Emily is so lucky to be alive right now, she was inches away from death because of me. You know I would never hurt Em on purpose, but werewolves can't control themselves. Their reflex reaction is to phase... and... well our primary job is to protect human life. Jacob, if you continued to be around Bella, you would put her at risk every second you're near her. She could die, Jacob. You could kill her."
"W-w-what?" My voice sounded small almost childlike to my own ears.
What Sam was saying didn't make sense. Bella... What did Bella have to do with all of this? Everything Sam said was like a distant buzzing to my ears... The ocean's waves crashed inside my mind drowning me from the inside out.
"You could hurt her, Jacob, without ever meaning to. Bella has been so fragile ever since Edward left you could kill her so easily..."
"I-I don't u-u-understand," I stuttered, my voice sounding as though it was coming from far, far away.
"You can't be with Bella anymore Jacob," Sam's eyes turned cold and hard as stone. "It's not safe."
White hot rage and anger assaulted by brain and body. My vision was red with rage and I was on four legs once more.
I charged Sam, aiming for the jugular...
A/N: I hope you liked this! I'll try to have another chapter out as soon as possible... but now I'm writing them as I go. I hope I still have people reading this story after all this time; If so please give me a shout out in either in a review or PM me! Anonymous reviews welcomed!
Until next time!