A/N: I honestly don't know how this is going to be received. I have a feeling you will either like it or be completely against it. So in all honesty, I am fragile and I did spend a large amount of time on this so don't tell me how OOC this is because that's sort of the point. It's a future fic so anything can happen.
Summary: When Chuck Bass found the announcement of his upcoming wedding in the society pages, he learned that Blair Waldorf had flown to France. The glass of scotch he drank after that was the first in the succession of becoming a borderline alcoholic.
Disclaimer: Suprise, suprise, inspiration comes from DH yet again. Characters are not mine but at least the dialogue is.
When Blair Waldorf heard the news that Chuck Bass was getting married, she cried. Serena told her with a pitying look on her face and Blair let her mask fall into place. Serena waited for Blair to break down but she refused.
When Chuck found out his life was over, he learned that Blair had left the country. He sat stewing in his own self doubt when he learned some whore he had used had gotten knocked up.
It didn't take long for the propriety of the society to erode at him. The bitch got a ring out of him. But it wasn't the one he already had on him. The one he bought when he was 18.
He went out and bought a new one, stowing the inscribed true ring in his safe. Where his first wife would never find it. And where he knew his true future wife someday would. His real wife.
When Chuck Bass found the announcement of his upcoming wedding in the society pages, he learned that Blair Waldorf had flown to France.
The glass of scotch he drank after that was the first in the succession of becoming a borderline alcoholic.
On the day of Chuck Bass's wedding, he lost all hope. His pseudo-sisters came in with congratulations while Nate tried pulling him out of his drunk induced coma after the bachelor party. He walked up to the alter smelling so much of booze he knew that even the priest could smell it.
He looked upon his pregnant wife with disdain as he let himself be practically dragged back down the aisle while rice was thrown at him.
He vomited in the bathroom during the reception.
There was no first dance.
There was no toast.
There was no cake cut by the bride and groom.
This was just a society shotgun wedding and everyone knew it.
He sat slumped at the head of the table, his head cradled in his hands.
"Sit up straight," Serena said, elbowing him in annoyance. He raised his eyes and stared at her.
"I didn't see her at the wedding."
"Who?" Serena asked, feigning ignorance as she took a sip of champagne.
"Serena," Chuck stressed.
"Well what did you expect, Chuck?" Serena snapped. "Blair's not coming."
Chuck slumped down in his chair in defeat, completely ignoring his wife.
Chuck never thought it was possible to have his heart broken twice. He thought that she was the last straw. He sat as the doctor told him his wife had miscarried his child.
Maybe he had a son.
He didn't love his wife. He never did. But his heart broke just a little bit for the child he would never know. And the waste of time marrying some whore.
Maybe she wasn't pregnant at all.
Maybe it was all a lie.
Chuck had fallen asleep in the hospital. It wasn't that he cared if his wife was doing well. He just didn't want to go back to the penthouse he shared with that lying whore. She killed is baby while she pretended that she loved him.
But she could never love him the way he knew love. The way only one woman would love him.
There was a soft touch on his shoulder, rousing him from sleep. He was about to shake it off in hostility before he looked into deep brown eyes.
And he was home again.
"Hey," Blair said softly, smiling sweetly. There was sadness in her eyes and he knew the real reason she was here. The strange thing was he couldn't see pity anywhere in her eyes. Only caring. She was the only one who cared like that for him.
"Hey," Chuck said finally, standing to his feet, shaking away the shock. "I'm assuming the tragic news has reached your ears."
He stiffened when she embraced him. He knew she was only comforting him but he couldn't help but take full advantage. He put his nose to her hair, inhaling the scent he had been missing for so long.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his ear, his hair stirred by her sensuous breath sending chills down his spine. She pulled away and looked deep into his eyes, not missing how they were slightly glazed over in lust.
"That's why you're here," he assumed.
"I'm here for you, Chuck," she assured him before disentangling herself from him. "Always."
Like their undeniable pull. It was only a matter of time. He had to see her. He would watch her order around the Junior League, taking her mother's place.
It would make her happy.
You don't disappoint your mother.
If you say so, Bass.
He would watch her mix with their society, and he missed her more than ever.
He had to see her.
"What are you doing here, Bass?" Blair asked as she opened the door of her apartment. He took in her appearance. Her dark hair reached the middle of her back like it had that summer when she brought home a fake boyfriend for his benefit.
She felt his hot eyes all over her and she crossed her arms over her chest. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be taunting her and tempting her. It wasn't fair.
His eyes lingered on her low cut shorts.
"I wasn't expecting company," she said uncomfortably.
"That much is clear," Chuck smirked, edging his way into her room. She sighed, closing the door behind him. "Or maybe you were just expecting me."
She had to roll her eyes at his lewdity.
Sometimes it was easy to forget he was married. But his gold ring glinted at her menacingly and once again, she wanted to cry.
"You look like my 19 year old girlfriend."
He was looking at her adoringly. The way he should be looking at his wife but only ever looked at her.
"Chuck," she warned him uncomfortably. And he nodded sullenly. He knew this wasn't the way. No matter how much they both wanted it to be.
And then he caught sight of her apartment.
"Blair," Chuck said, his brow furrowing.
"Dorota's on vacation," Blair said shortly, crossing the room that was in uncharacteristic disarray.
"Dorota lives in Queens," Chuck said.
"I'll bring in someone to clean for you," Chuck offered.
"And why would you do that?" Blair asked, sitting down on her bed.
"We're friends," Chuck smiled. She could tell it wasn't genuine. It was the only thing that really made sense anymore. And it didn't even make sense.
"Whenever I used to say that you would sabotage my relationships," Blair reminded him tauntingly.
"Are you going to sabotage mine?" Chuck asked slyly. She saw the challenge in his eyes.
She was in too deep. This was too much. He was too much. So she smiled.
"Oh, sweetie," she couldn't help but say say condescendingly. "That's just done."
It was gravity.
He couldn't help it.
He couldn't help but lean in and kiss her.
What else could he do?
It was stupid. That was what she convinced herself. She was being stupid. A stupid teenager who stupidly lost her virginity to her stupid ex boyfriend's stupid best friend after stupidly stripping at a stupid burlesque club.
This wasn't the life she envisioned for herself. When she came back to support her mother, she never counted on seeing him like that. Then again, she never counted on the things Chuck Bass would do and the way he would make her feel.
Years after, it was still the same. And she was stupid to think that it would be any different.
So she took a cue from him and did what she did before when she was heartbroken.
But it didn't do much good.
He always found her. Especially when she didn't hide for well.
"What are those?" Blair asked apprehensively as he knocked on her door.
"What do they look like?" Chuck asked cheekily, offering her the peonies.
"You should be giving those to your wife," Blair said, ignoring them, but letting him sidestep inside anyway.
"My wife is a bitch."
"Yeah?" Blair asked. "So am I."
"But in the endearing way," he grinned.
"Don't do this."
It almost sounded like a plea. He decisively placed the flowers on her bedside table. He couldn't answer her.
"I never set on being an adulteress," she said quietly. His eyes flicked to hers with a flare of indignation. "What?"
"You're not," he said. "This is supposed to happen. Was always supposed to happen. I was never supposed to get married."
"And now you're trapped," Blair said. "It's not like you don't have the money to divorce her."
That stung a little too harshly and she turned away from him so he wouldn't see her tears. That didn't mean he didn't know they were there. He placed his hands comfortingly and dangerously on her waist.
Her biggest mistake was not pushing him away.
"I won't divorce my wife just to marry you."
"Thank you," Blair snapped, turning to face him. "What makes you think I want you for a husband? You'd be the worst husband ever."
Minutes together and they were both resorted to the spoiled and petulant teenagers they always were.
"Because we both know we would be married by now if it wasn't for--"
"Your stupid mistake," Blair seethed. He looked at her with that look that was so disarming, she wondered how she hadn't flown back sooner.
"I didn't come back for you," Blair whispered. "My mother is ill."
"And I would never take advantage of that."
She smiled. "Liar." She let him kiss her again.
"Do you think I'm a bad person," she asked, "that I don't feel guilty?"
"We're not bad people," Chuck said. "We're just slaves."
"Why am I okay with that?" Blair asked.
"Because it's just another obstacle."
"I can't be the other woman asking you to foolhardily leave your wife."
"I can't divorce her just to marry you," Chuck said again. "Because then people would look at you like..."
"A whore," Blair said.
"Don't," he warned sharply.
"When we'll be together," Chuck said, "for the world to see... When I can take you out in public... when I can marry you, I won't have you being looked at like my mistress."
"Than what am I?" Blair asked.
And that was what she became.
What she never stopped being.
Blair never met Mrs. Bass. She knew it wasn't something she could endure. It wasn't the guilt because as Blair had an increasing amount of time in the presence of Chuck Bass, she realized there was no such thing as remorse. There was no such thing because Mrs. Bass wasn't supposed to be Mrs. Bass. She was stupid enough to believe that if Chuck Bass knocked her up he would get her to fall for her.
Blair didn't feel remorse for humiliating Mrs. Bass. But that was because she was afraid of her own humiliation if it ever got out that she had become the mistress of Chuck Bass. That was something in their society that you didn't come back from.
Blair wasn't guilty. But that didn't mean that she wasn't jealous. Because she was. Blair was the one who Chuck looked upon with softness and adoration in the ways he hadn't since they were teenagers. In the way that they never had the chance to do again. But she didn't have everything.
Chuck still went back to his wife at night and still had her on his arm at society events where Blair felt foolish with her sad excuses for escorts. It wasn't right. None of it was right.
It was obvious. She knew it as soon as she opened her door that day to reveal the wife that Blair could never become.
It wasn't a secret what this really was about. Blair stepped aside and let her in.
"He has a nice set up for you here."
So they were just going to get right down to it.
"He didn't give me this," Blair said. "Unlike some people, I make my own living and don't have to marry for money."
"You have no right to judge me," she snapped. "Not when you're sleeping with a married man."
"And you really think I don't regret it," Blair said.
"It makes me think that you don't since you keep doing it," Mrs. Bass replied. "Do you really convince yourself you're thinking of me when you're committing adultery?"
"I didn't say I regretted it for you," Blair said coolly. "I am aware how... distasteful that this is what I am resorted to. That is what I regret. That I am living my life now as an adulteress. But not for you. For my own selfish reasons."
"I could tell everyone," she threatened. "And you would be humiliated."
"And so would you," Blair said. "We're both in a catch-22, here."
"You could break it off," she suggested.
"Is that why you came here?" Blair taunted. "To convince me to leave your husband because you can't keep him in line yourself?"
"He would listen to you."
"You're a fool to think that I haven't tried," Blair said. "And what do you think he would do if I told him we were over? What conclusion do you know he would immediately jump to? He knew it was you, forcing my hand."
Blair hated this woman. Because she knew if she wasn't wracked with jealousy over the life she could have had, this woman wouldn't be a terrible person.
"I just wanted him to love me," Mrs. Bass said. Blair almost pitied her. It was foolish to want love from Chuck Bass. But her words still hurt her more than anything.
All I ever did was love you.
But even after that, Blair couldn't identify with her. Because even after all the hurt Chuck was capable of distributing, she knew he loved her.
"The only reason he's with you now is because society deems it appropriate to marry when you get knocked up," Blair said cruelly. "And look what happened. You miscarried. All of that for nothing. Because he knows the child he could have had is gone. And that means he feels nothing for you but detestation."
And so the lines were drawn.
"I hope you can live with yourself, being my husband's whore," she said sharply.
"I've always been Chuck Bass's whore."
Enough was enough. Chuck wasn't into self sabotage but he hated himself. He hated how her sad dark eyes would follow him around wherever he went. She would still throw her head back and he would still caress her curls but then he had to leave. He couldn't succumb to her bed like they used to. He couldn't fold her in his arms as they were drenched in lovesweat having endless dreams that featured her prominantly.
He had to go home to his wife.
He still dreamed of her. Every night. There was nothing but her.
The miscarriage made it easier to hate his wife. But it wasn't enough. He needed more.
He needed Blair.
So when dark ruby lips caressed his neck and his eyes rolled back, he let it be that way. Maybe he left his collared shirt out in the open on purpose.
Maybe he wanted his estranged wife to find it.
Whether he wanted it or not made no difference.
Because she found it.
And he felt nothing but relief.
He was a stony hearted villain and that was why Blair would look at him with such adoration and love. Because his lack of conscious was something she understood. The only remorse he had was that he could not remain faithful to Blair, even though she was technically the adulteress.
The sole conscious he had pertained only to Blair. She was his savior and his descent into hell. He would take them both. Because an existence without Blair wasn't an existence at all. And then none of it would even really matter.
He walked into the house that night to see the bags packed and a sense of relief washed over him.
Not that he would ever show her that. Because then she would never leave.
"Going somewhere?" Chuck asked lazily, eying all of her earthly possessions in the foyer.
"I'm leaving you," she said curtly.
"Are you now?" he asked.
"Don't try to talk me out of it," she said dramatically. "My mind is made up."
"And what, pray tell," Chuck drawled, "led you to such a melodramatic conclusion?"
"I don't know," she snapped, before shaking his shirt in front of his face. "Maybe this?"
Chuck narrowed his eyes and saw it smeared with the exact same shade of lipstick that Blair always smiled at him coyly with.
"Huh," Chuck said indifferently.
"Aren't you even going to deny it?"
"No," Chuck said simply. "I don't really see the point."
He watched her throat constrict. And he hated her. He really did. For all the reasons he could never admit to himself. Because it wasn't just about Blair. It was about the real slut. The golddigging whore that didn't care the way his own so called whore would have. At least his wouldn't have used a child as a power play. His child. At least their child would have survived.
"I know you're seeing that whore," she spat.
"Really?" Chuck sneered. "What tipped you off? Was it the lipstick that only she wears or the fact that she's the only woman that I've ever loved?"
And then he realized it.
"You spoke to her," he said acidly. "You deign to call her a whore when you are nothing else. You share my bed in exchange for my name and power. What constitutes as a whore more than that?"
"She won't marry you," she warned. "She wants your money and the little else you give her."
"Like you?" Chuck asked. "Because I would have to disagree with you. There's an engagement ring with her name inscribed in it that tells me different."
"And what can she give you that I couldn't?"
"I love her," Chuck said. "She is the only one. She will give me happiness. She'll give me everything that your unrequited and pathetic love will never."
It was easy enough.
He could hurt people like anyone else could.
The door slammed behind her as he stood alone in the foyer. But it was the first time he really hadn't felt alone since the marriage. Because he could finally find it in himself to be happy.
When Blair found out Chuck's wife had left him, she cried. It was real now. Everything was real. He walked into her apartment with peonies and she knew it. She just knew it.
"What am I supposed to say?"
"Say you love me."
"You know I do."
"And I love you."
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say."
"I'm scared, Chuck."
His eyes never wavered. "An honest and acceptable answer."
She took a deep breath.
"I don't want to just be your whore."
"You're afraid for your reputation."
"I'm afraid of what you think of me," she said instead. She gaged the surprise in his eyes.
"Always you," she answered. "You said so yourself. I don't want me to just be the other woman."
"You never were," Chuck said. "She was. Whatever she said to you..."
"Was the truth," Blair said admittedly.
"And how does it change things now?" he asked.
"Say you love me," he repeated.
"I love you," Blair answered. "More than anything."
"It was always supposed to be us," Chuck said. "You know that."
When Blair found out Chuck's wife had left him, she cried.
It wasn't because she was heartbroken like before. Instead, she was relieved.
The day Blair found out Chuck's wife had left him was the day she found out she was pregnant.
But this time, it was for good.
She could tell from the way the diamond sparkled at her.