And here it is! The last chapter of Leave It All Behind. This chapter was a bitch to write. I actually wrote it and, read it, hated it, and then re-wrote it LOL. And for once, I think I'm actually happy with it. I know you guys have been waiting for this so I really hope it doesn't disappoint. So… Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, Bobby, or Supernatural in anyway!
Sam stood silently on Bobby's wooden porch. He had made it out of the car and to the door, but that's as far as he got. He was still no closer to figuring out what he was going to say. Sam sighed lifted his hand to knock but before he could the door was wrenched open.
"Boy, what are you doing? You don't have to knock." Bobby snapped.
Bobby had been watching Sam from the front room window ever since he pulled up and got impatient waiting for him to come inside. Stubborn Winchesters. He decided to take matters into his own hands.
Sam gave Bobby a small smile. "I know. I just"
"I know, kid. Come on in." Bobby interrupted in a gentle tone.
And he did know. Sam hadn't seen Dean for a long time and if what Bobby suspected was true, it was bound to be hard for him to find the right words. And in all the years Bobby had know the kid, Sam was nothing but prepared.
Sam nodded and followed after Bobby and into the kitchen. He glanced casually around the front hall before glancing in the direction of the living room. He tried to act nonchalant about it but Bobby wasn't fooled.
"He ain't in there."
Sam jumped and turned to Bobby. He nodded slowly, not bothering to deny he was looking for Dean. Wouldn't do any good anyway.
"He doesn't know you're here yet." Bobby explained. Sam nodded again.
"Are you alright, Sam?" Bobby asked softly. He was sick of waiting for Sam to volunteer the information. Damn these Winchester boys, they were going to drive him mad.
Sam laughed bitterly, having finally found his voice and the words that had evaded him.
"Oh yea Bobby, I'm great." He said sarcastically. "I just found out my brother is going to die in about a month and he knew for nearly a year oh and I had to find it out from a demon!" Sam snapped.
Sam hadn't wanted to snap at Bobby but he couldn't keep holding it back. Dean was going to die. And nobody felt the need to share that fact with him. He still wouldn't know if it weren't for Kara. And what's more, it was all Sam's fault.
Bobby sighed and brought his hand up to rub his eyes. He had told Dean that Sam would find out someday. Guess that day was today.
"Where is he, Bobby?" Sam asked, cutting off whatever it was Bobby was about to say.
Bobby stared intently at Sam. "He's upstairs."
Sam nodded and turned to go upstairs. "Sam…go easy on him." Sam ignored Bobby's comment and without another word made his way toward the stairs.
Dean paced back and forth in the upstairs bedroom. He glanced nervously at the bed side clock. It was quarter past three. Sam should have been here by now. Where was he? Had he changed his mind about coming?
The sound of the door creaking open echoed in the silent room and Dean whipped around at the sound. He opened his mouth to ask Bobby if Sam had called but stopped when the figure stepped into the room. Not Bobby…
"Sammy…" Dean said softly.
Sam tensed and Dean was brought back to the night nearly a year before when he had told Sam to leave.
"I'll sleep on the bus." Sam mumbled.
Dean saw Sam's back tense at the nickname and it was like a physical blow.
The feeling he got was still the same as that night. Like Sam had punched him. Dean slowly took a step toward Sam.
"You uh, look good." Sam nodded.
"Any problems on the way here?" Dean tried. Sam didn't say a word, just continued to stare at Dean.
"C'mon, Sam. Talk to me."
Sam scoffed. "Talk to you? Now you want to talk? All done with your space, Dean? Sam asked sarcastically.
Dean flinched. "I uh...I think you and I need to get some space...from each other."
"Sam, I'm sor – "
"I mean after all, it has been nearly a year. And with you going to hell in another month, you'll have all the space you want." Sam snapped.
Dean gaped at Sam. Hell? How did Sam know about that? Was that what had brought Sam here in the middle of the night?
"Did – did Bobby tell you?" Dean whispered.
Sam's anger deflated slightly. "No. No actually, a demon named Kara did." He said quietly.
Dean's head shot up. "A demon?"
"Yea. She posed as a student so I got her trapped and she told me." Sam briefly explained. He paused. "So…so it's true?" Sam asked quietly and with a hint of hope.
Dean sighed. He wished so much to be able to laugh and say no. To shake his head and tease Sam for believing a demon. But he couldn't. he wouldn't lie to Sam… not anymore.
"Yeah, Sam, yeah it's true."
Sam nodded but it was a subconscious action. He wasn't listening anymore. Slowly, he sank down on the bed. He had hoped. Hoped so much that what Kara had said was a lie. The entire way here a voice screamed in his head that demon's lie. But another voice, sounding suspiciously like his older brother, had whispered back. Sometimes they tell the truth if they know it will hurt more. And this time, it definitely hurt more.
"How could you not tell me, Dean?" Sam asked, an edge to his voice.
Dean sighed. "You know better than anyone what I went through with dad. You witnessed it everyday. It nearly destroyed me. I didn't want – I couldn't do that to you."
Sam's head snapped up and his eyes burned. Some of the anger he'd felt was returning. "You think this is better?" He scoffed. "Sending me away, making me think that you didn't want me around? That you hated me? Making me find out from a demon?"
"Hate you? How could you possibly think that I hated you?" Dean demanded.
"I don't know Dean. Maybe it had something to do with the 'I think we need space, you should go back to school' bullshit." Sam snapped sarcastically.
Dean sighed. He didn't want to fight with Sam. He hadn't seen his brother properly in months and this wasn't how he wanted to do this. He never wanted Sam to find out, but if he had to, he didn't want it to be like this.
"I didn't hate you, Sam. I don't hate you. I did this for you." Dean tried.
Sam stood up, his anger back. "Bull shit, you did this for me! You did it for you. Because you couldn't take my reaction. You didn't want to deal with going to hell and me at the same time!" Sam yelled.
Dean shook his head. "I didn't want you to have to live with it Sam." He snapped.
"So it's better that I live without you? Damn it, Dean. What were you going to do if I hadn't found out? Were you just going to die without me knowing and wait till I found out? Or were you going to have Bobby tell me?"
"I hadn't actually thought about that part." Dean said quietly.
"Of course not! You didn't think at all!"
Dean dropped his eyes from Sam's hurt and angry ones. He didn't want to see the pain in Sam's eyes, the betrayal. This is what he wanted to avoid. Sam in pain, he never wanted that. He never wanted any of this.
"This entire time, I could have been looking for a way to save you instead of wasting my time studying for pointless exams. Now, thanks to your self loathing, self sacrificing shit, I only have a month to find a way to save your stupid ass."
Dean's head shot up in surprise. "Wait, you're staying?"
Sam glared at Dean. "Of course I'm staying. I'm not letting you push me away, not again. I have to find a way to save your stupid ass."
Dean shook his head. "You can't save my ass Sammy. Not this time."
Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean and raised an eyebrow. "Watch me," he said simply.
"We've checked Sam. Bobby and I have been looking for months. We haven't found anything."
Sam grinned. "That's because you haven't had me to research with you."
Dean smiled softly and chuckled. He didn't have the heart to tell Sam that it wouldn't work. Not now anyway.
"Geek-boy to the rescue, huh?" Dean teased.
Sam glared. "I guess that makes you the damsel in distress."
Dean's brow furrowed. "Bitch,"
Sam didn't think. His response was automatic. "Jerk,"
Dean laughed. "So you're done with college. Sticking around?"
His tone was playful but Sam heard the question in his brother's voice. He refrained from pointing out that he never would have left if Dean hadn't made him.
"What did you think Dean? I was going to come here, yell at you, and then leave? That I was just going to let you die." Sam asked seriously.
Dean shrugged. "I don't know what I thought. But it wasn't this."
Sam's eyes softened, the last of his anger had gone and all he was left with was overwhelming sadness and happiness. Dean was here. Sam was finally back with his brother. But for how long?
Sam blinked back the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. Would he be able to save Dean? Was there a way? Sam felt a couple tears slip out. Had they been reunited just to be torn apart in a month?
Dean saw the despair in Sam's eyes and he had to choke back his own tears. His little brother was here. Dean had hurt him badly and yet here he was, joking around like he never left, and prepared to fight for Dean's life. He could see Sam fighting back tears and he saw when he lost the fight.
Dean didn't hesitate. He stepped forward and pulled Sam close to him. Dean's arms went around Sam and grasped his jacket, holding him tightly. Sam blinked and wrapped his own arms around Dean. He buried his face in his shoulder.
Sam was struck by how right he felt. Like he was finally back where he was supposed to be. Call it what you want but this, Dean, was home. Slowly, after a few moments, Sam let go of Dean, his face set in determination. Dean stepped back but kept his hands on Sam's shoulders.
"It's going to be okay, Sammy." He said.
It didn't escape Dean's notice that Sam didn't tense up at the familiar nickname. Dean smiled softly at that.
"I know. Because I'm not going to let you go, Dean. Not now, not ever."
Dean nodded. He knew his brother and right now, Sam needed to believe that so he would let him. It couldn't hurt to let him hope.
"Come on, we better go tell Bobby what's going on." Sam nodded and followed behind Dean as they made their way downstairs.
Sam sat across from Bobby and next to Dean at the kitchen table. They'd been sitting and talking for the last couple hours but at this moment Sam wasn't paying attention. Bobby and Dean were going over something and hadn't noticed that Sam was lost in his thoughts.
He sighed quietly. He had to go back to Stanford in a couple days and pack up the rest of his stuff and put his apartment on the market. He also had to take care of his disenrollment and a few other things. Of course, Dean was coming with him.
Sam wasn't ready to be away from Dean. Truthfully, he didn't think he would be able to be away from him in the near future. Eleven months without his brother was enough. No, for now Dean within Sam's vision. Dean wouldn't mind. Sure, he would pretend to, but Sam knew his brother needed the same assurance that he did.
Sam sighed again. They had a lot coming at them in the next month. Hunts, research, catching up, and searching, but whatever it was they were facing it together. Sam had no doubt that Dean would try and push him away again at some point but this time he wasn't going to let it happen. He didn't care if he had to handcuff their wrists together, Dean wasn't leaving him behind.
But then again, glancing at Dean and seeing the way he kept looking at Sam – almost as if to reassure himself he was still there – maybe Sam wouldn't have to worry about it after all.
Final Author's Note: And so it ends! Again, I really hope you guys weren't disappointed. I know some people wanted to see what I did with the last month leading up to the deal and if I changed it but I decided not to write that. The reason being – I can't save Dean because 1. He needs to go to Hell for the rest of Supernatural to happen and 2. I had no way of saving him that made sense and fit with the story. And since I'm not saving him then there is no need to write anymore for this one. But for any of you who still wonder, in my mind it pretty much went down the same way it did in the show.
- Thank you so much for everyone who read and reviewed this story and who stuck with it even when it seemed hopeless and when every chapter depressed them! Thank you to those who reviewed, favourited, alerted, or even who just followed it without doing any of that.
- And thank you to my friends who constantly put up with me bitching about my stories. And for always telling me how good they are when I think they suck, LOL!
So, for the final time for Leave It All Behind… Review and let me know what you thought please! : )