This story is not suitable for the following people:
People who love Twilight more than life
Obsessed Edward Cullen fangirls/fanboys
Obsessed Bella fanboys/fangirls
Obsessed Jacob fangirls/fanboys
Any form of Twi-tard
People who can't take a joke
You have been warned...
Link was happily walking in the spring talking to Ilia when it happened. A sparkly girl riding a large-ish wolf burst in on the happy scene whooping, followed by several monsters waving weapons.
"What the..." Link started, but was hit on the head from behind by one of the monsters. Oh dear. And he's meant to be the hero? Epona ran away because although she looked like a horse she was secretly a chicken. Ilia just screamed and got grabbed by the monsters, who ran back to wherever they'd come from.
Ages later, Link woke up.
"Oops," he muttered, realising that he'd just let Ilia get kidnapped. "I suppose I'd better go get her back then." He got to his feet, grumbling about the indignity of being knocked into a spring and getting wet, and mysteriously dried off in less than a minute. He grinned. Sometimes, he loved being made of pixels. As he walked to the edge of the spring, he noticed some horseweed.
"Epona loves horseweed!" So he picked some horseweed and blew it. Nothing happened.
"Stupid horse. Isn't she meant to come running when I do that?" Eventually, he realised that he'd have to go after the monsters on foot. He left the patch of horseweed and ran in the direction the monsters had left, even though he had been unconscious when they had left so could not possibly have known what direction they went. Somehow, he just knew. Vague memories of a cutscene flashed through his head. He ran and ran, knowing exactly which way to go and skidded to a halt as a huge wall greeted him. It wasn't a wall exactly, at least not a solid one. He could see through it, only the world behind it looked strange and distorted. He cautiously reached forwards and touched the wall. It sparked and fizzed, stinging his finger.
"Hmm... Pixels are blocking my way!"
So now what? He knew that the monsters had gone that way, but he couldn't get past that damn pixel wall!
Eventually, the question was answered for him. All of a sudden, the pixel wall fizzed and sparked, and a hand reached forwards for him! Link yelled and stumbled backwards, trying to avoid the hand, however he was not quick enough. The hand fastened around his arm and with incredible strength yanked him through the pixel wall, which still sparked and fizzed, but for some reason allowed him through this time. Dazed, Link blinked and looked around. When he saw the creature that had grabbed him, he yelled and tried to break free. It looked human to begin with, but when it smiled the sharp canines showed that it was in no way human. It was a vampire. The vampire released his arm, and Link collapsed to the floor. He rose briefly, screamed in agony, and collapsed again as his body began to change. His ears lengthened and thick fur began to sprout from his body. When the change was completed, Link was no longer Link.
In fact, he was a rabbit.
From the shadows, a small imp frowned. That was not what was meant to happen. She floated over to the rabbit.
"Excuse me for a moment," she said to the vampire, who looked confused but nodded.
"Two minutes," it replied. The imp poked the rabbit.
"Wrong game, you idiot!" She hissed.
"Meep?" Asked the rabbit. The imp sighed.
"This is the twilight realm, not the dark world you idiot! You turn into a rabbit in the dark world, but that's a whole other game! This is the twilight realm, and you are supposed to be a wolf not a rabbit! I know they're similar, but you can't keep getting them mixed up like this! Plus you're supposed to be unconscious!" The rabbit made a sound that sounded a bit like an apology, and morphed into a wolf before flopping to the ground, unconscious. The imp nodded approvingly.
"Carry on, and pretend that none of that just happened," she said to the vampire, who nodded and slung the unconscious wolf over one shoulder, beginning the long trek to Hyrule castle.
Link woke up in a prison cell. Worse than that, one of his arms, sorry, legs was chained to the floor. And he was a wolf. He howled in rage, pulling against the chain. It didn't budge, and all that happened was that he managed to run round in a circle. After doing this several times, he stopped. There was someone at the cell door. A small, imp like creature grinned at him through the bars. Suddenly, it disappeared and appeared in the cage right next to him. He lunged at it, snapping at the creature, who giggled as the chain pulled tight, preventing him from getting any closer.
"Ooh, in a bad mood aren't we? I won't help you escape if you act like that." Link immediately quietened down. Escape? He sat down. The imp giggled again and flew over.
"That's better. Good boy." Link thought about growling at this annoying creature, but decided against it. It probably wasn't a good idea. The imp gestured, and the chain snapped. Link stared in delight and ran to the cell door, waiting for that to be opened. The imp giggled and appeared on the other side of the bars.
"You can work this bit out for yourself. I need to check that you're at least partially intelligent!" The wolf sighed. This was not a good day. He searched for a way out, and discovered a patch of soft soil against the bars of the cell. He scrabbled at the floor, digging his way out. Now wasn't that conveniently placed? The imp smiled.
"Finally! I thought you weren't going to make it out then."
"Of course I could get out, what'd'you think I am, stupid?" Link growled. The imp just giggled annoyingly.
"Come on then. I'll help you out, but you've got to do everything I say. And one more thing. You're a wolf, you're not supposed to talk!"
"Sorry," mumbled Link.
"Shut up! To be honest, I'm not sure you're even meant to talk as a human!" Link had to protest at this.
"Do you know how boring it is not talking and just making these silly noises every time I do something? I'm bored of not talking! It's just one game. Let me off just this once?" The imp sighed.
"Fine. As long as you don't talk as a wolf." Link nodded his agreement.