Patrick was glad he wasn't alone. He hated being alone. Especially now, when he couldn't get the voices or the memories to stop plaguing him. Pain wracked his body hard, despite the painkillers the doctors had given him. He played the poem Red John had recited over and over again, trying to decipher it and ignore his horrible fear, the merciless humiliation he had suffered and the trauma of torture. The act was impossible.
Lisbon held him close, caressing his forehead, her hand icy against the fevered skin. But he needed the comfort. He needed to know that someone was there. For once, he didn't have to go through something alone. In his normal state of mind he would have. He would have told her to leave and gotten angry if she refused. He would've rather cried alone.
This was a completely different circumstance. Right now he needed her desperately. She was his best friend, and the closest thing to family he had left. He sobbed against her, shattered into thousands of pieces, just as Red John had intended. He didn't have the strength to mull over the case right now. Right now it was taking everything he had just to stay sane.
"Shh…Patrick, it's alright. He can't hurt you anymore, don't be scared." He'd been speaking without realizing it, whimpering in fear and pain.
"M-make it stop, L-Lisbon," he begged, the thoughts and voices and screams and laughter in his head swirling and crashing and tangling into a chaotic mess, making him hold his ears and sob. "Make it s-stop, please!"
"Shh…hush, hush, it's alright. Shh…"
"I tr-tried to tell her-her, Teresa. I t-tried…" He sobbed, burying his face in her chest.
"Kristina?" Lisbon whispered. He nodded. "Patrick that's not your fault. You had no idea she would do something like that."
"She wa-was stupid. L-like me. An-an' now…" he sobbed hard into her chest. "She's de-dead. She's dead…"
"Shh, no, Patrick, no she's not." She didn't believe her own words. "She'll be alright, I promise. I promise, it's okay. Shh…" He was shivering, hard. She pulled the blankets tighter around him, running her fingers through his thick curls.
He shook his head, hiding his face away, his bleeding heart throbbing violently against his ribs. "I d-d-d-don't know w-what to do, Li-Lisbon. He-help m-m-me."
Lisbon tried to think past his cries that were echoing off of the apartment walls. She held his face between her hands, his agonized eyes looking back at her. She needed to get his mind away from this. It was killing him.
"Patrick," she said, saying the first thing that popped into her head. "Patrick, what's one thing about me that you don't like?" He frowned for a moment, most likely wondering where the hell that question came from. To be honest, she didn't know either.
"Um," he thought, sobs still shaking his voice. "Y-you d-don't play a-along very we-well." She smiled a little.
"Okay, what about Grace?" She prompted, trying to coax him away from his tears.
"Sh-she's too serious about ev-everything," he choked, his cries calming slowly.
"And Rigsby?" Lisbon was talking as calmly as she could, as if this were a normal conversation. But this was as far from normal as you could get. She was in Patrick's apartment, holding him on his bed, his body beaten and bandaged, mind and heart traumatized. No, definitely not normal.
"He l-lies about his f-feelings and tries to a-act like he d-doesn't care. It's an-annoying," he breathed.
"And Cho, what don't you like about Cho?" She asked, knowing she had to keep him talking.
Patrick chuckled, smiling, truly smiling, for the first time in a long time. "Ch-Cho? There's n-nothing wrong wi-with Cho. He's Cho."
Lisbon smiled and laughed with him.
A few hours later, he fell asleep. And Lisbon dared to doze herself, but horrible screams woke her abruptly.
"NO! NO PLEASE, NO MORE! OH GOD…OH GOD NOT THAT! NOT THAT, I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"Patrick! Patrick, it's alright!" Lisbon held his shoulders, holding him down so he wouldn't hurt himself. This only seemed to make matters worse.
"NO! NO I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS, PLEEEAAASSEEE!" He sobbed violently, sending himself into a coughing fit.
"Patrick, PATRICK! Wake up! WAKE UP, it's alright!" Lisbon exclaimed. His eyes flew open and he sat up with a start. He looked around in the darkness, gaining his bearings, his eyes taking a moment before they met hers.
"T-Teresa?" He breathed. She nodded, releasing her grip on his arms and touching his cheek.
"I'm here, I'm here, it's alright," she assured.
"He, he was h-here. He…and…he used…I…" He stammered, breath shaking, tears still winning the fight.
"It's gonna be alright, Patrick. He can't hurt you anymore, you're safe."
"No," he shook his head, "no I'm not. He can h-hurt me whenever he wants. He al-already tortures m-me every day." He bowed his head, crying softly, holding his chest as if to keep the pieces inside. Lisbon looked at him for a moment, her chest hurting at the sight of the tortured soul before her. Lost, broken, hopeless.
She wrapped her arms around him, unable to take it any longer. He cried into her stomach, shoulders shaking. "It's alright, Patrick. It's going to be okay. I won't let him hurt you again. I promise."
"Th-thank you," he choked. "Th-thank you so m-much."
"For what?" Lisbon frowned.
"For b-being there f-for me. For al-always being there for me." She would be there for him. She would help him through this horrendous nightmare better than anyone could.
"Thank you for letting me," she smiled, stroking his hair.
He would be alright. He'd be okay, it was only a matter of time before he was back to his snarky, mischievous self again, getting into trouble and ignoring the pain he constantly carried.
But right now Lisbon would hold him and promise him that everything was going to be alright, even when she wasn't sure if the statement were true or not.
And Patrick would let her soothe him, let her lie to him about Red John because it made him feel better, let her see past the armor he had because he needed her. He needed her more than anything, not just right now but always. She was his best friend. She would keep him sane, keep him grounded and be there for him. That was all he could ask for.
-thank you for reading! Please review!-