A/N 1: I fainted once, and so Eames's experience is based on my own. It was embarrassing, but the firefighters were very cute.
CHAPTER TWO: LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY FOR CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
"Don't tell anyone, but it was Paddy O'Malley's sister-in-law." DeJawn Cooper was in the top bunk in the crib at Ladder 151. Her husband Wallis was in the bunk beneath her. The call she'd just returned from was her eleventh this shift; they were off at 6am and hoped to be able to rest 'til then.
"The cop?" They were whispering. Officially, keeping track of the families of other firefighters was discouraged, but they all did it.
"Former, or so I gathered."
There was a pause. "And? Was she OK? Jacobs said the boyfriend's a gorilla. Did he beat her up?"
"God no. Oh my, Wallis, that man is so whipped!"
"Sir, it's just a bit unusual for someone to faint while they're lying down."
The poor guy was fretting. If he'd only stop shuffling around! He was worried, for one, and for two, obviously didn't like her two strapping colleagues fussing over his girlfriend. One of whom was being a smart-ass.
Firefighters are always the first to arrive at calls. Most folks think it's a waste of resources, but actually, since there are fewer fires than medical emergencies, it makes sense for the fire crews to take care of the ambulatory, and let the paramedics take care of the really sick people. She was fine with heat stroke and epileptic seizures, but intubate someone? Forget it.
When Cooper arrived with Jacobs and McCaffee, the woman was already coming to, but as she told the guy, you can lose a good 10 minutes when you lose consciousness, even for a few moments. She was a tiny thing, on the sofa with her shoes off and her head between her knees, with cold compresses on her neck and wrists. All the right things… he was probably a cop too. But fainting while hanging out lying on the sofa? Yeah, she wasn't going to provoke him about it like Jacobs did, but it was a bit weird.
Cooper rolled her eyes at her colleague's stupid comment – geez, didn't he know better than to wave red at a bull? – but the guy was already talking. "Actually, uh – there's this thing, called 'la petite mort', it, uh, happens…" He trailed off and looked down awkwardly. "Um, it usually happens lying down," he mumbled in a rush.
Oooooooohkaaaaaay. Jacobs and McCaffee made faces at her, but she had a communications degree from Berkeley. She knew what La Petite Mort was. You go sister! But what was the big dummy thinking? Calling 9-1-1, when he already knew what was wrong? He was in trubbbblllle!
"Ma'am, do you know your name?" The woman was coming around.
"Well, I know it's not ma'am." How that guy smiled when she said that! He made a move towards her, but stopped cold when McCaffee held out a hand, and just stood in front of his girlfriend shifting from foot to foot. Didn't he know that made him look guilty? Even tho she was 100% sure he wasn't guilty of anything, except maybe being too fussy. Just wait til the kids come.
"You call your girlfriend by her last name?" That was it, Eames. O'Malley's sister-in-law.
"We, uh, we used to – work together."
"Eames! That's my name." Jacobs gave the guy a dirty look, but him and Eames were both chuckling.
"Jacobs is a dickwad." She murmured her agreement. "So, what is la petey more?"
"Sometimes women – I mean people – but usually women – faint after a particularly great climax."
"You mean sex? How do you know it was particularly great?"
"Because she said so."
"Mrs Eames, have you had anything to eat today?" The only sound was giggling.
"Is – I've – is it normal to – be – like that?" He didn't seem embarrassed by her behaviour, which was points for him, but he really seemed worried.
"Everybody's different, Detective…?"
"Just Bobby. Goren. We're both – we're not with the NYPD any more. Good guess though."
"My mother is Mrs Eames. And…" More giggles. "I was planning on having something later."
The guy, Goren, pursed his lips in annoyance. "Eames!" Then, " She's had plenty to eat."
"Could you be pregnant?"
"Well, if you'd been a half hour later…"
Goren covered his mouth and looked down. "Eames…" She didn't seem to hear him, but Jacobs looked up in annoyance. "It's just – she's not – herself. She's gonna…"
"Have you had any drugs or alcohol today?"
"No." That at least got a serious answer.
"Hit your head?"
"What's the last thing you remember before waking up?"
More giggles. The guy Goren turned away and began rubbing his neck.
"The best orgasm of my life."
"Oh my. She actually said that?"
"Hell yeah. You should'a seen his face! He looked like half of him wanted to pick us up and throw us out so we wouldn't hear her embarrass herself any more, and the other half wanted to jump up and high-five himself."
"You know something else?" Wallis grunted. "It was their first time!"
"She told you that too?"
"Yeah. They were really a pretty cute couple. I think Jay and Mack, or Jay at least, was a bit disappointed that they turned out to be so sweet. There's something about that guy that got their caveman up… they really wanted an excuse to kick his ass. Especially since he did such a bad job of hooking her bra up… made him seem like a perv." Cooper stopped suddenly. "Ooops. Really, keep this on the down-low. I think O'Malley would love an excuse to kick his ass too. Don't give him one."
The crib was quiet for a few minutes. The only sounds were of the rest of the crew finishing their late dinner in the next room.
"I just hope that you and I are getting' bizaay like that at their age!"
"How old were they?"
"Well he's fifty, at least. She's mid-forties, I think."
"That's not so old."
"To be making out on the couch to the point of unconsciousness? We're too old to do that!"
The firefighters were gone, and Alex was back to herself enough to be sheepish, although she didn't seem nearly as embarrassed or upset as Bobby expected her be. He'd tucked her into bed per Cooper's instructions and was now bringing her a tray with a poached egg on toast, a cup of chicken soup, and a big mug of hot, sweet herbal tea.
"So, do you, uh – remember much?" Bobby sat next to her on her big bed while she sipped her soup.
"Much?" She said, smirking.
"Uh… Cat got your tongue, Goren?" She smirked again. "I remember enough to be worried that I'm going to get a call from my sister about our… activities." Bobby stared at her, horrified. "Don't worry, I'll just tell her it was my other boyfriend."
"You'll do no such thing," he said indignantly. Alex laughed. "What about, um, before that?"
She chuckled into her soup. "Do you mean, do I remember enough to ask you if my hand was still wet when the firefighters arrived?" She looked at him coyly with her sparkling dark amber eyes. She knew.
Bobby cringed in embarrassment. "She, um, Cooper, said, that you'd lose 10 minutes. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed."
"I think I still remember the good bits, Bobby. But perhaps I need another example for comparison." She leaned over and kissed him briefly on the lips. He responded by grabbing her hand and kissing each of her pretty little fingers.
"Best orgasm of your life, huh?"
A/N 2: Usually, when an author announces a number of upcoming chapters, the actual end result is at the high end or even higher, but this fic is FINISHED! Please review, whatever you thought! BTW I find I'm quite captivated by the Cooper family; are you wondering as much as I am how a Berkeley Media Studies grad ended up working with her husband fighting fires in New York? I might try to work them into a future fic.
BTW2: La Petite Mort is French for "the little death", which can be a euphemism for sexual climax, but can also describe the rare but documented phenomenon of fainting after orgasm.
WORDS: 1504 UPLOADED Monday, May 24, 2010