Title: Sanji's 1st Prank Call

Victim/s: Sanji, Smoker, Alvida

Beta read by: N/A

A/N's: Miss me? ^.^

Feeling himself plummet down and the noose tightening around his neck his heart pounded hard in his chest ….he wanted to live!

It's funny, Sanji had always thought his last moments on earth would be dreaming of all the ladies he had yet to kiss, the battles he had not yet fought, or even the meals he had yet to cook. Maybe even the epic moments he had, had with his nakama or at lest a quick flash of his whole life before his eyes like people said was to happen, but no what he got was one crystal clear memory.


Ten years ago in East Blue on the Baratie …

A young Sanji used the back of his hand to wipe at the snot and blood from his nose. He was all frazzled over what had just happened and was doing his best to not cry anymore then he already had about it.

Sanji had done his very best to prepare a meal and had thought it fit for a king! Zeff had even allowed him to serve it to customer so it had to have been good! Yet the customer had eaten half of it then called him back to complain.

"This taste like shit! What are you trying to do! Poison me!" The customer had cried. "I refuse to pay for this trash!"

To which Sanji replied with pride wounded, "Well you sure must like the way shit taste ... you ate of enough of it you fat bastard!" He was then promptly hit in the face by the man which in turned knocked him on his ass.

Patty had then come over and hit him on the head for being rude to the customer and sent back to the kitchen as the rest of the customers all laughed as Patty gave him a swift kick to his rear to hurry him along. One day Sanji swore he would pay Patty back for all the abuse.

Still even plots for the future were not helping to dry his eyes. Everyone was laughing at him! He was the butt of all their jokes right now, their loud laugher well reminded him, not letting him forget.

Getting into the kitchen the other cooks busted into laugher, "You should stick to dishwashing, Sanji." one remarked. "The dish water might taste better then his soup." Teased another keeping them all laughing … all but one.

Zeff eyed Sanji and said not word as he looked away and limped past the blond boy. Sanji went ridged just sure Zeff was going to kick him for what had happened but he didn't. Zeff just went into the storage closet.

Sanji was then made to do dishes and after that task he had to peel bags of potatoes for the other cooks. Lunch then came but Sanji was not in the mood to eat he just went on peeling and was left alone in the kitchen.

Once again Sanji thought about his embracing incident and peeled all the more faster at the potato in hand. He would show them ... he would show them all! They would all be sorry they laughed at him!

Faster and harder he worked as the sound of laughter burned into his brain but then he paused when he noticed it was just the sound of one person laughing ... and not just anyone ... but Zeff ... and it was coming from the storage room. Was Zeff still in there after all this time! "What is that shitty geezer up to now?" Sanji grumbled with a frown and wandered over to the storage room and peeked inside.

"Loguetown Marine Base, Smoker here, how may I direct your call?" came a young man's voice from the Den Den Mushi.

"Yes I have an urgent message here for a Mr. Rotch, first name Mike. Is he available?" questioned Zeff.

The Den Den Mushi took on a confused look as Smoker was not use to handling the Den Den Mushi calls and did not recognize the name so he called out to the others around the large office, "Hey everyone! Have you seen Mike Rotch? Anyone? Have you seen Mike Rotch?"

The marines in the room all paused then busted into a fit of laughter.

Smoker frowned not getting what was so funny and as female officer came into the room he urged the woman for answers. "Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch?"

"Eh?" cried out the woman.

"Have you seen Mike Rotch?" Smoker huffed getting irritate yet a thankful look came to his face when the woman marched over to him that is till she slugged him hard in the face making him drop the Den Den Mushi.

"You nasty little pervert!" she cried out as she went to further beat on Smoker while the other marines laughed all the more only hearing my crotch rather then Mike Rotch.

Zeff hung up the Den Den Mushi laughing but at hearing a small giggle by the door he turned a sneering smile to the little face peeking in at him.

Sanji cupped a hand over his mouth. He had not meant to laugh but it was just too funny! That guy had really got made a fool of. He was sure he was going to get scolded for spying but Zeff waved him in and held the Den Den Mushi to him. "Want to give it a try?" offered Zeff.

Sanji's small hands reached out for the Den Den Mushi looked at it. Zeff then held out a little black book.

"Pick a number here from this page." Zeff guided and Sanji looked over the numbers to the page shown to him. He settled for the one marked, Alvida. With hands still lightly damp from the potatoes Sanji dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?" came a gruff voice that kinda sorta sounded female but not really.

Sanji put a hand over the Den Den Mushi and whispered to Zeff, "What do I say?"

Zeff leaned in a cupped a hand to the boy's ear and whispered. Sanji's face took on a bright smile and nodded and once Zeff pulled back, Sanji, to the best he could without laughing too much said, "Hi! I'm looking for Maya. Last name, Normousbutt."

"Eh? One moment." Grumbled Alvida and called out into her crew, "Has anyone seen Maya Normousbutt?"

The crew all stared at her and she questioned the same thing again but all they were hearing was "Has anyone seen my enormous butt?" They tried their best to hold it in but ended up in side splitting laughter.

Sanji as well could not hold it in anymore and pelted in laughter.

Alvida glared at the Den Den Mushi and her crewmates and started to smash them all with her club.

Sanji hung up the Den Den Mushi still laughing.

"It's easy to laugh at others ne? But harder to laugh at one's self." Zeff then said, this making Sanji's laughter cut short as he looked to the old man.

"Did you try your soup?"

Sanji nodded.

"Was it good?"

Sanji nodded again.

"Hm … what do you think happened to that man when Patty found out he would not pay?"

The answer at once came to him as Patty did it with anyone that didn't pay. He beat them up and tossed them out with the trash and everyone would laugh.

Zeff saw the light in those blue eyes and smiled, "If you would have kicked Patty in the ass people would have laughed along with you. Humor is a two way street Sanji … never dish out what you can't take, else it's just a waste."

~End flashback~

Sanji felt the pressure around his throat tighten as he kept dropping, the noose clinging around his neck, the itchy rope digging into his smooth white pristine skin, as the old man's words echoed in his head. He knew Zeff had started him off with those easy prank calls only to later graduate him once he got older to more complex pranks, helping to train his mind for quick thinking and planning. It all had been worth it.

The jokes, the fun he had had, and even his failures, his biggest failure right now. How silly … to get killed over prank calls ... it was just …foolish!

A soft chuckle came from him then it got louder and louder into a full blown laugh, that is till he felt something suddenly come up under his feet and push him up so the noose was no longer so tight.

"Nani?" Sanji coughed out in a horse voice and looked down blinking in surprise at who was saving him …

To be continued

AN's: It's been a long time ne? Hehe and gasp it was a filler of all things! But hey at lest you know Sanji is being saved ... hopefully.