I'm currently reworking this particular story, so if anyone has a favourite mission they'd like mentioning, let me know.
Chapter 1- So here I am.
20th September 2008
Dear Nosey Parker(yes, I'm talking to you),
New Dresses: about 47.
Dresses I will actually wear because they are not ill-fitting/inapproprite/a hideous shade of magenta: about 5.
New diaries received for birthday last week: 5 thanks to unimaginative relatives.
Going away things my mother has given me: new pens, new sketchbook, about 47 vile dresses(I don't care if magenta is in at the minute!), a box of scary looking cotton things which I have no idea of how to use or what to use for them(Mental note: ask Bo what 'tampax' are), Big Book of Oscar Wilde quotes(my mother does know me!) and various textbooks .
So here I am; twelve years old, in my new, scratchy school uniform, writing in my new diary to any nosey parker choosing to read it(if you are reading this, you are the aforementioned nosey parker) and joining my cousins at Bullworth Academy. Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of the next five years. Unfortunately, from what my cousins have told me, that means that tomorrow will be my first day in the third circle of Hell. According to them- both of whom are hardened veterans of Bullworth- the place is a mess in which the intelligent are wedgied and the clique heirarchy is ruled by hypocrites, perverts, tyrants... and cheerleaders. They have also told me that unless I "toughen up", my years at the school will consist of nothing but agony, humiliation and food poisioning.
However, there are a few advantages to becoming part of this particular student body because, according to Bo, I won't get beaten up for these reasons:
Reasons that I, Gloria Jackson, will hopefully not get beaten up in Bullworth Academy.
1. I am Bo Jackson's cousin, which apparently means that I will become a jock despite puny arms, braininess and regard for personal safety.
2. I am a girl(apparently that makes a difference in Bullworth).
3. Aunt Carol made Bo promise to keep a close eye on me.
4. Aunt Carol threatened to destroy Bo's collection of signed football shirts if the aforementioned promise is not honoured.
5. Just in case it wasn't honoured, Aunt Carol insisted he taught me basic fighting moves, one of which I believe he said was known as "The Nutcracker". He refused to tell me why.
6. Bullworth has a strict no bullying policy.
I've just seen a small boy get shoved head first into a garbage can. Maybe I should cross out number 6.
I have just been introduced to my new roommates.
The other first year is a blond sports junkie called Karen Johnson. She greeted me with the words "Yay, I'm not the only girl here!" before hugging me(of the three people present, I was the only person who found this slightly odd). She then explained that Bullworth is a remarkably exclusive school- so exclusive in fact, that this year only four children fit up to high standards. The other boy's mother helped launch a clothing range called Blueberry a few years back so he got in that way- Something De La Hoya, I think.
The second girl was about three years older and one and a half feet taller than me with shiny blonde hair and a slim figure. Unfortunately, the bright green dress and cold sores hid any prettiness. "Salutations," she smiled, giving me the tiniest wave before dropping down onto a bed with a chemistry textbook. "What's your name?"
"I'm Beatrice. So what are you called?" she asked, turning to Karen.
"Karen. Why have we got a spare bed?" Houston, we have a ditz.
"We don't. It's four girls to every room, so it's you two, me... and Mandy," Beatrice frowned like a dentist who'd had someone with halitosis burp in their face at the name of the fourth girl. Perhaps they don't get along?
Mandy made a grand entrance a few minutes ago- or, at least, I certainly hope the brunette cheerleader was Mandy as opposed to some random axe murderer who ran into our room and briefly acknowledged us by looking at me and saying "I've got my work cut out. What's your name?"
"Gloria Jackson," Her eyes widened slightly at this.
"Jackson as in, like, Bo Jackson?" No, as in Michael Jackson. I'm his illegitimate child.
"He's my cousin," She sighed happily at this "Cool- I'll have to introduce you to some of the girls on the squad,"
"There's a girl's sports team here?" Karen exclaimed, eyes wide as her smile .
"Nope, kiddo," Mandy smiled with that bemused expression people give you if you're a bit simple."There's a cherleading squad, though. Perhaps you two might join up next year?"
"Next year?" Karen deflated like a balloon that someone had jumped up and down on.
"Well, I could always show you guys a few moves, help you get a routine going," she offered, glancing at the clock. "Crap- I'm late for cheerleading practice. Metalmouth, I need that homework done by the time I get back- or else," Beatrice nodded. Twirling around with a dancer's grace, the the cheerleader ran out of the room, although not before jabbing Beatrice in the shoulder.
For no particular reason.
I should definitely cross out number five.