Hello! I'm so sorry this took so long. This is unfortunately the last chapter of this story, but I may put up a sequel depending on what you guys think.


Dear Nosey Parker,

Today I was informed that I am actually a character in a computer game and am being controlled by a British sixteen-year-old writing stories about me under a pretentious pen name. Naturally, I was shocked. However, said sixteen-year-old has promised to give me some control over my own life during the holidays if I write her disclaimer for her: She doesn't own me, my life or my associates. Instead, she has informed me that I belong to a company by the name of Rockstar.

Gloria, the unfortunate being whose life Madame Apathy is toying with mercilessly for your amusement.

Chapter 17: The End Is Coming

3rd July

Dear Nosey Parker,


Angie and Christy are knitting some baby clothes for Edna's spawn. Not entirely why they've knitted three legs and four arms. maybe I should knit some more anatomically correct clothing.


According to Beatrice, Petey Kowalski has been made Head Boy. Earnest was apparently hoping for the position and isn't happy.

4th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


Just accidentally held Const's hand when I was reaching for a book and now he's looking at me funny.


Const has went back to his book and is furrowing his eyebrows in the usual way that actually looks quite cute. Thank Heavens.


Const just glanced back over and asked what I was staring at. I looked away, but my cheeks are now on fire. I hope I'm not coming down with something. On another note, I begin knitting tomorrow.

5th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


I have my wool at the ready. This is bound to be easy if Christy can do it. My knitting begins... now!


The knitting backfired and I've just spent six hours being untangled by Lola, Zoe and Beatrice. To hell with it, Edna can get her own baby clothes.

8th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


Found out who fathered Edna's baby. I don't think I'll ever be able to look Dr. Watts in the eye ever again.

15th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


According to Melody, we'll most likely end up in cliques next year. She thinks I'll be a nerd. A nerd. Me! Is she mad? I don't have a thing in common with the nerds.


Karen says the Jocks probably have dibs on me. Apparently they have a ritual to initiate people involving paintballs, rats and pear juice. Maybe the nerds aren't such a bad option.

20th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


The girls are talking about crushes. Melody has just accused me- yes, me- of having a crush on Const! Where on Earth did she get that idea? That's ridiculous. I just appreciate his intellect. And his frienship. And his big brown ey... Gah!


I am not in love with Const I am not in love with Const I am not in love with Const.


And that was not the first stage of denial.


I do not fancy Const. That's for silly school girls, and Gloria Joanne Brakus is not some silly schoolgirl so preocupied with boys that she accidentally writes said boy's surname where her own surname should be.

29th July

Dear Nosey Parker,


Just heard someone say "28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end." over the intercom. Unfortunately, Dr Watts heard and he's now under the desk shaking.


Sat in the library with Const and, to my horror, he is smiling. Maybe the end really is coming! At least it's a nice sm... No. I'm not getting into this again.


Melody came to me with a dilemma. Apparently she has this friend who's a good girl but is really attracted to a bad boy. Like a good friend, I forbade her from asking Hopkins out. I cannot allow her to inflict that upon herself.

30th July

Dear Nosey Parker,

Yearly Review

Awkward conversations with Nurse McRay: 1.
Swear words learned from older girls: Lots.
Times irritated by lust-driven antics of Hopkins: At least 934.
Times actually did something about lust-driven antics of Hopkins: 1(good times).
Number of times made a fool of self: Several.
Amount of dignity maintained: Fragments.
Times traumatised in makeup related incidents: Several.

So here we are. The end of the year. Shame really- I've grown a little fond of you, you filthy, privacy-invading person, you. It's all been good fun having you invade my privacy, but I'm afraid I'm off home for the holidays so I'm abandoning you for a bit. Perhaps next year I'll allow you another opportunity to read the sadistic story that is my life.

It's been a pleasure,