Not So Happy Ending

Written by G. Ai Inoue

Characters: Ulquiorra Cifer mostly… Oh ya, and Grimmijow Jaggerjacues^^

Spoilers: Yes, there are! I'm updated to the latest Bleach episodes in Japanese every Tuesday or Wednesday!

Summary: Ulquiorra died today. Will he finally get a break now from a certain blue haired trashy Espada?

AN: In honor and in memory of the greatest Espada ever! Cuarto Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer…rest in peace…we all love you!

I wasn't able to get the stupid thing to load! The episode couldn't load cuz of the crappy weather outside. So I'm going by as close as I can with the events by the Bleach Wiki Ulquiorra Cifer since they summarize it.

~U~

"…I see. No mercy? How very hollow like. I do not mind… I have lost to you. DO IT."

I remember my words as my head was almost cut off; why the Quincy stopped him, I do not know. I stopped Kurosaki from killing his comrade, as paying back a debt I guess…

Hm…Do I feel…what do they call it…? Sad…as I watched that woman cry over Kurosaki. I see myself that my regeneration is just a front, for my internal organs are destroyed by the trashy human's cero. I pulled out his zanpaktou from the Quincy after he wakes up.

Throwing Kurosaki his blade after he stands again, I demand for the fight to finish. He says that his "inner hollow" interfered and for the fight to be fair, his arm and leg should be cut off also.

I prepared to cut off the trashy Kurosaki boy's arm and leg. Before I could…I started to dissolve into ash. The end is near. I no longer have any use to Aizen-sama.

"Kill me. Quickly. I no longer have the strength to walk. If you do not cut me down now, then this fight will forever remain unsettled." I stood there, waiting for the "deathblow", but it never came. The trashy human refused to kill me, a hollow. Kurosaki stated this was not how he wanted to win. He has a hollow inside him that interfered is what he said. Maybe that is why he did not want to kill me. Pity.

"Even now, in the end, you do not do what I want. But I do admit, my interest in you humans have increased." I glanced at the woman who had a sad look on her face. "Are you frightened of me?"

"I…I am not afraid…" replied the wo- …Inoue Orihime with a sad expression on her face.

I reach out my hand, surprising myself slightly. I do not show my slight self surprise, nor do I withdraw my hand. She reaches out also. Before she can take hold of it though… My hand dissolved to ash.

I wonder…there must be such a thing…called…the heart… So many people seem to speak of it… It must be real. I think I have discovered it.

"This thing here… I see…This…yes… This thing here… in my hand… is …"

My end is here. I feel myself starting to fade away.

"The heart…?"

I fade away into the wind. I am now just dust, ash, sand. I am nothing… I am just part of the vast, never ending desert of Hueco Mundo…

That is my ending…

~U~ It has been quite a few years now…

I have weird dreams. I'm only four, too… My dreams are about something called Espada… A man named Aizen, and a creepy guy named Gin.

Gin has no eyes, but he can see. A man named Kaname has eyes, but he can't see.

It's weird.

Now, I'm outside. Playing with my bat plushie while Mommy is making me milkshakes when our new neighbors moved in! They had a boy that was older then me and he had blue hair. I think he was one of the reincarnated Espada... I wonder if he remembers a bit like I do.

The boy ran over with a grin on his face. He seemed too friendly… And too blue…

"Hey, my name's Grimmijow Jagerjacues! Who're you?" he asked with a grin on his face. So…he was the reincarnated Sexta. Yup, looks as S word as ever! (AN: S word… he's a four year old. It's not sh** it's stupid)

"My name is Ulquiorra Cifer and I don't like you! Go away, you trashy Grimmijow!" I yelled as I stomped away.

This is not a happy ending at all…

"Hey! Wait! What'd I ever do to you?" asked Grimmijow as he ran after me.

"You wouldn't know! I can remember and you can't!" I bragged as I turned around with my childish smirk. Next thing I found out, Grimmijow had the same temper he did as an Espada.

"OW! That hurt! You shouldn't go around punching four year olds!" I complained.

"You shouldn't go around calling six year olds you just met trash!" He yelled.

"You are trash though!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Be quiet, Trash! You punched me so now you're gonna get it!" I yelled as I pulled out my bat plushie, Dracula. I smashed Dracula into that meanie's face. Yeah! He'll regret it now! It always works when the two and three year olds at day care bother me!

"What the heck was that? Is it supposed to hurt or something?" He laughed in my face as he threw Dracula to the side. Now his fur is gonna get dirty!

"DON'T DO THAT TO DRACULA! His fur'll get dirty!"

"Like I care! Idiot!"

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT, TRASH! AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE BLUE HAIR!"

"IT'S NATURAL!" Looks like a found a weak spot! Hehehe…

"YOU LOOK LIKE A DEFORMED JOLLY RANCHER THAT GOT DIPPED IN BLUE…GOOP!"

"I DO NOT! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE AN EMO!"

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE ELMO!"

"I BET YOU STILL WATCH HIM TALK TO GOLDFISHES!"

"MOMMY SAYS IT'S EDUCATIONAL!"

"HAHAHA! YOU'RE A MOMA's BOY!"

"I AM NOT!"

"YEAH YOU ARE!"

"Be quiet, Trash!" I yelled as I took Dracula and threw it in his face again.

"What a stupid toy! What's it gonna do? Bite me?" laughed Grimmijow. I HATED HIM!

"No…" I admitted. "BUT THIS WILL!" I remembered that Grandma gave my mommy a trained dog!

"Wha…?"

"SICK HIM, MUR-LAGO!" (AN: I took the cie out of Murcielago XD)

"AHHH! GETAWAYFROMMEGE TAWAYFROMMEGETA WAYFROMME!"

Hm…maybe it's not that bad of an ending. Who knows? Maybe I'll get my happy ending after all!

"HA! That's what you get, Trash!" I yelled as Grimmijow ran to a tree and climbed up it. He pulled out a whistle and blew into it. Uh oh… it must be one of those dog whistle things that grandpa told me about…

"YAAAA!" Grimmijow jumped off the tree like a cat! He landed right on top of me! It hurt! He musta eatin' too much sugar this morning…

"Ow… MEANIE! You trashy blue haired cat! That hurt!" He started petting my head as if I was a pet kitty.

"Awww, does little Ulqui not like being beaten up?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! ONLY MY MOMMY IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT!" I pushed him off and ran into the backyard. He followed me too!

"GET BACK HERE YOU FRAIDY BAT!" yelled Grimmijow. I put Dracula in the hood of my jacket as Grimmijow ran up to me.

"TAKE THAT!" I pushed him into the pool!

"THAT'S COLD!" he screamed as he swam to the edge and got out. Suddenly, Mommy came out and saw us.

"Ulquiorra Cifer! That is not the nice way to treat our new neighbors! Apologize to him, Ulqui," said Mommy as she pointed at Grimmijow. "What's your name?"

"The water was really cold!" said Grimmijow as he started fake crying. "…and my name is Grimmijow Jaggerjacues."

"Tell you what; Ulquiorra will make it up to you by sharing his milkshake! It's chocolate, too!" said Mommy as she started bringing out the milkshake.

"Thank you…but I like vanilla better…" muttered Grimmijow.

"Alright, then both of you will have vanilla!" said Mommy as she set a tray with vanilla milkshakes on them

"Mommy! But I hate vanilla milkshakes! Can I have chocolate?" I asked as I pulled my cutey face while holding Dracula. For some reason, the middle school girls call me adorable when I do that…

"No, you and Grimmijow will have vanilla."

Hmph! That's mean and child abuse! This is not a happy ending after all…

I hate vanilla…but a milkshake is a milkshake! It shouldn't be wasted…no matter how much I hate the flavor…

S word, trashy Grimmijow Jaggerjacues! I can't believe he had Mommy bring us VANILLA instead of chocolate!

This is totally a not so happy ending…

~U~

AN: Fuck you Ichigo Kurosaki for killing the best Espada ever.

REVIEW AND AGREE IF YOU HATE ICHIGO FOR KILLING ULQUIORRA AND FIND THIS FUNNY!

OWARI! WITH MY FIRST ONE-SHOT EVER!

But I'll continue if any of you want^^ I would add more Espadas and make an actual plot.

I'll update every week on Tuesdays… you just have to tell me if you want me to continue and keep adding Espada…

So…

For now…

( RANDOM SIDENOTE: I changed my penname. It's not Nylorac-chan anymore. FOR ULQUIORRA! XD I'm a fangirl now *le gasp*)

OWARI!

-G. Ai Inoue