i am so sorry it has taken me toooo long to write this out. i have been in a fight with Qhuinn and Saxton for a lil bit. I didnt want to be too rash!
Anyhoo thanks to the reviews and the adds. It seriously has me keep going. so for those that do...thank you so much. I am almost finished with Lover Unleashed, but i am still staying true to where i am going with this, without fuckin up the Wardens story.
Lady Babette, my rock! Chica thanks boo so much for everything :)
Fuck this! Thinking to myself as i down the rest of easily my fourth bottle of..well i ain't too sure how many i have drank. Damn it Blay! That fuckin tragic song playing over and over and over in my head. Doesn't he see that its not that i don't want him, and not that i don't want to let him in. I am just terrible for him! everything i do, i do it for him! All for the mother fucking greater good!Breaking the bottle, my anger taking over, my hand is now bleeding! What a fuckin genius i am. "fuck!"
A napkin appears right in front of my face, "here you go tough guy," Great just what i need, this humanoid all up in my puss. Sorry chick, don't have no room on my plate for anymore weird shit. Now lets remember people i am a vampire. Weird shit is my birth right!
"Humanoid?" she ask sitting her plump ass down in the cheap red pleather chair next to me, making me look at her. I never claim to be gentleman, but i know i didn't say she could sit with me. Even if i did need the company. "What are you?" the question spews from my mouth before i can even think. But than again, i would have prolly asked anyways.
"What are you?" she smiles poking me hard in the chest, then winking her painted eyelid.
"not fair babe, i asked you first." i smile feeling more at ease after her touch. Maybe she is like a witch doctor or something normal.
"True, mi amigo. But who or WHAT." she emphasized "i am,that doesn't really matter now, does it?" she smiles again. Bloody female always smiling, and confusing the shit out of me.
"Fine, you smell different," I say again, not caring at all what i say. Nothing phases this female, she laughs in my face again!
She leans in an sniffs my neck."You have your nerve? You smell of a hungry, poorly fed male, who is stuck where he is, due to his lack of action."
Feeling my anger boil at the female. "WHAT ARE YOU!" I roar. Her brown eyes flashed from a really dark tint to white, then back dark.
"Listen here vampire, i am just another person you have met, what i am is of no concern to you. I am simply here to help, to not harm, but boy you make it hard! You best think the Scribe Virgin you are dead sexy!" she says her hair lifting as if wind was blowing from outta her skin. My blood runs cold at not only her now frightening sight, but of her words.
"How do you know the SV?' leaning down whispering to her.
She looks at me, her face shows just the slightest emotion of pain, before it is quickly masked. "How could i not." she barely whispers. "I fear Qhuinn the time is coming soon to claim your male, if he is too be yours. His heart is yours for now, but it is terribly wounded from the pain you inflict upon him. So his heart is open, and i fear one is filling it up. bandaging with their own."
My heart seizes up at her words. What is this female, and god why is she saying this to me. Looking over, i see Saxton resting his head on Blays massive shoulder, rubbing his back. Blay smiling down at my cousin, with that twinkle, damn, that twinkle used to belong to me. "Can you not tell me who you are?" I ask looking back at Lisa. Her expression seemed far away. She look blank, but i could see the tightness in her eyes as she relives something not so pleasant. I am true bastard for asking this of her.
"i am other," she met my eyes. "A tragic mistake, that once corrected left this shell," she sighed using a hand motion to show her body. She looked so sad, my protective instinct kicking in, reaching over i cup her soft, rounded face, and hug her to me.
"I will not ask anymore, But just for the record, there isn't anything wrong with your shell." Bloody female burst out laughing again. This time making me smile.
you OK? John sign after Saxton left to get me another drink. I needed it after belting that song to Qhuinn. Hopefully the message got through his thick beautiful skull. Who the fuck was i kidding. It was still heartbreaking, and as our eyes fucked each other. Something our bodies never did, and never will. He thinks he is the defect, truly it is I, that is poison? But looking at John, i realize i had not answered him.
Giving him a half hearted smile, that wouldn't have fooled Ray Charles. god rest his soul. "I am good, bro." John just looked at me and started signing shit like what the fuck ever. "John look, lets just enjoy this night okay?" He still looked like he wanted to challenge me, but i couldn't bare it. "Please." was my one word response as Saxton brought me a mixed drink.
"Ah Dearest it seem this place does offer something more then terrible beer," Sax smiled handing me the drink the squeezing his self into me. It is so funny still seeing Saxton in jeans, i suppose i should take a picture of this. I doubt it will ever happen again.
"Yum," smiling at him. The man was just amazing. He didn't question or show me pity after i finished, just gave me a hug and a drink. Sometimes thats all a man really needs.
"Oh fuck me," Xhex stated then nodded to wards the stage.
"Such language,' Sax smiled, "and from such a lady."
"Yeh, up yours!" she looked at Sax, then nervously to her Hellren.
The PA had a loud squeal and then an all to familiar voice came over. I would have know that voice even if i had not heard it for 300 years.
"Hi...I suck at singing, and if you are like most people and come to see a train wreck, well you wont be disappointed. This song, is one i have listen to almost every night since i fucked up. Well since the big fuck up, how about that. And let me tell you people, i fuck up, ALOT!" Qhuinn stated as he paced the stage looking everywhere and nowhere all at once. He stopped his pace as we made eye contact again, then he looked at Saxton. In the old language he spoke "too my blood, i fear i can not keep my promise. i am a screw up and dishonorable. but you understand, i hope you do." i glanced at Saxton who's jaws was clinched tight. His eyes did not waver from Qhuinns, and Q just looked guilty. I wonder what that is all about. But sadly i think i am about to find out.
"To the one that i fucked up the most with...I am sorry okay. i am soo fuckin sorry. and i mean every single word of this song, and its too you." he looked at me then, and i couldn't look away.
(youtube link please listen . com/watch?v=KbGTLTTAa0g)
"I cry myself to sleep again tonight. 'Cause I cannot hold you tight." if his eyes had me in a trance, his voiced had me bewitched. I recognize the song. Just another song that we used to sing together, but one that i think of him when we sung to each other in our pre-trans days. God the bastard.
"I wish I could see you again tomorrow. To take all this sorrow. Sorrow, I'm hollow." Those eyes of his are breaking my heart all over again. As if that was possible. "When I touch you, Can you feel It, When I need you Can you give it." As if he really had to ask. But how much can one person take.
The words are just pouring out of me. His song was how he felt, well i know i am a bastard but this song is how i feel to the fullest. Without him in my life is utter misery. I miss him, i miss us. So to him i sing in hopes i make this right. For him, and for me.
"These tears on my face, Are for you." I feel the tears in my eyes but i cant stop them. Some male of worth i will never be. "I wish that I could hold you, touch you, feel you." Closing my eyes to get them to clear my vision. I need him to look at me at the next part. I remember us at kids singing this part to each other, but we didn't get it. Well maybe he did. But as everyone knows i am a slow learner.
"My heart is bleeding, Can't you see!" Punching my chest but looking at My Blaylock. God Sweet Virgin make him see. "I wish that you could hold me, Touch me, feel me."
The song is taking an instrumental break, and my mind is running a million thoughts a second. His wonderful eyes haven't left, and i feel the tension spilling off of JM and Xhex. Stealing a glance at my cousin, his top lip is peeled back showing fangs. The predator in me is up for the challenge. I would do anything for Blay, the first step is to stop running from him. Well i have stopped and I'm here now. And ole pearl eyes has another thing coming if he thinks i am backing down.
"Misery Is what I feel, When you're not around, So I can't heal" finishing the song looking nowhere but to wards my Blaylock. I hear applause, but that shit don't matter to me. Stepping off the stage i walk up to him. Swallowing my pride, ignoring the growl, and all the warning signs. I cannot read his face. It looks like he wants to weep, wants to flee want too...
The alcohol stings my eyes for just a moment, wiping the thrown drink i look at him, shocked. It wasn't that he threw it at me, i guess i had it coming, but i have no words. "You just don't get it, do you." he whispers before he leaves the table and walks outside. Not sure what i had expected. Maybe him throwing his arms around me, and devouring my lips, or a hug. a smile. anything. But drink in the face, and then he was just going to waltz out. AIN'T HAPPENING!
I try to follow but my cousin blocks me, his fangs still exposed, taking me on. His puny body isn't what concerns me, but i will try my best to not kill my cousin. "NO!" he pushes on my chest. This time my lip peels back. "You will not do this to him! Do not follow him. This night is over, and you are coming with me!" he orders, but i do not have time for this. Blaylock is out there and i want to speak with him.
"I said no!" Saxton blocks all attempts of me heading to the exit! I will tear him apart if he thinks he will keep me from what is MINE!
"Saxton I am sorry, but get out of my way!" whispering ever so deadly in his ear, to not cause an even bigger scene.
Sax just looked at me, anger, hurt and then the worst... pity was in his eyes. "Take a ride with me. Hear what i have to say. Then you may leave."
"This is not a bargain Sax, i leave when i say."
Saxton closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose, in attempts to calm himself. "If you are so hellbent on ruining him, then so be it." Saxton turn from the spot and started walking outside.
Gotta admit, it sorta took the pissed off outta me, and added the worry. Ruin him?
"Go Qhuinn," Xhex whispered in my ear. "Listen to what he has to say." Turning to wards the female, and my other best friend, i feel like an ass-hat.
"I'm sorry, i keep saying it, but i am sorry."
all good man, but the female says go, and maybe you should. John sign, the worry plainly written all over his face.
"I want to say i will make this up to you all. But I'm not sure i know how. Be safe," was parting words to my best friend and his female. Walking out I look around hoping to catch Saxton. Every fiber in me wants to tear him apart, but i need to hear him out. This isn't his fault. Looking around i catch him hoping into his car. Without thinking i demat right in front of his driver door.
"Get in, buckle up, and shut the hell up cousin. Because i have a lot to say, and a short amount of time to do it."
Opening the door, i do as he says, looking at him i cant help but be a smart ass. "My ears are open too."
"keep it up cousin mine, so will your neck."