A/N: Thank you for the reviews, they're great. This is probably the fastest update I have ever done, I'm quite proud. Enjoy! Disclaimer: Still no. ##########################
A/N: Thank you for the reviews, they're great. This is probably the fastest update I have ever done, I'm quite proud.
Disclaimer: Still no.
Thankfully, an ambulance had been about to depart once they had exited the hospital, and they managed to easily catch a ride back to Seattle Grace. Silence settled over the vehicle as the two paramedics in the front tried to ignore the tense atmosphere between the two doctors they were helping.
Seated on the uncomfortable fold out seat, Mark let out a sigh. With his elbows resting on his knees, he ran his hands through his hair tiredly. He was exhausted, and now some of the adrenalin had worn off he could feel the fatigue beginning to take over. But he could not allow himself to rest for a moment.
Sitting up straight, he rolled his shoulders and leant back against the hard surface behind him. What he would give for just a few hours of rest in his bed.
The whispered word broke through his thoughts, and he turned his head to look at the woman on the gurney opposite him.
"What for?" He asked, quietly.
Picking at the loose thread she had found on the material over her knee, Lexie sighed and looked up. She was nervous, he could tell, but her incessant fidgeting was beginning to make him nervous.
"Lexie," he urged, capturing her attention.
"You saved him... Alex."
Shrugging, he tried to dismiss her gesture. "It's my job."
Frowning, she shifted on the gurney, leaning forward towards him, "no it's not. You could have done what the others did and just run for safety... but... you stayed."
"I was trying to get you out. He's just lucky we found him."
"No he's lucky you found him, I was useless in there."
"It's the truth," she stated.
"No," he argued. "You risked your life to get him blood."
"It's my fault anyway." Her eyes began to water and he felt his heart tear at the sight. "I unplugged his wife."
Shifting forward he picked up her hand and held it gently in between his own. "Look at me," he urged. When she complied, he took a deep breath and began, "none of this is your fault. The only person to blame is the man who let his grief consume him until he was blinded by it. He was the one who destroyed the hospital... he's the one that pointed a gun at people, not you... all you did was your job. Yeah, you unplugged his wife, but there was nothing you could have done to save her life. It's not your fault okay."
Sniffling, she wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks, and nodded. "Sorry."
"... and stop saying sorry. You have nothing to apologise for."
Giving her hand a gentle squeeze he smiled at her softly, before letting go and moving back. As much as he wanted to continue, she was not his to comfort anymore. All he could do was act like her friend, no matter how much it pained him.
"You love him." Watching her as she wiped her face, he sighed, not realising he had spoken aloud until she looked at him sharply.
"Mark," she whispered.
The remorseful tone of her voice caused him to cringe. It was almost as if she was apologising. Looking away, he fought the urge to make a comment, instead settling on assuring her, "its okay."
Shrugging he flicked his gaze to hers before looking away once more. "You can't help who you fall in love with."
"Yes you can."
"You're the only one I've ever met who thinks so."
Letting out a small sigh answered him, "you might not be able to help it... falling in love with someone... but you don't have to act on it, if you want you can always ignore it."
"Why would someone make themselves miserable like that?"
Taking a deep breath, she crossed her arms and rested them on her thighs. "Both solutions will hurt; sometimes loving someone doesn't work out... but ignoring it..." looking down she took in a deep breath, "ignoring it's easier... so it doesn't matter that it hurts."
"How would you know it hurts?"
"What?" She asked confused by his question.
"Well you didn't ignore it... you chose Karev... so how would you know it hurts... unless you just throw the word 'love' around like it doesn't matter."
"I..." she began before his words registered properly in her head, making her angry. "That's not fair."
"You're right." Waving his hand in the air he reiterated his point, "I hope you and Karev are very happy together... with your puppy dogs, and ten babies." He cringed as the words fell from his lips, but he was too busy focusing on his pain. Her actions from earlier had torn at his heart, and unfortunately he had not had any time alone to try and bury it inside. It was surfacing.
"Your jealous," she pointed out, with a small tilt of her head.
"Me," he asked in disbelief, pointing a thumb at his chest.
"No... I'm Mark Sloan, man-whore of the hospital. I don't get jealous."
"Why do you do that?"
"What? Tell the truth." He stated.
"No. Why do you always hide your feelings like that? What's wrong with being jealous... it's human."
Glaring he scoffed at her words, "I thought you would have cottoned on by now that I'm not like you."
"And how am I like?"
"Over-emotional." He answered bluntly. "And even if I was jealous, you would be the last person on earth I would be telling."
Raising an eyebrow, Lexie shook her head and decided not to bother arguing with him. It was not getting anywhere, and right now, she was too tired to fight.
Ignoring the sudden silence, he tilted his head back to the wall and closed his eyes. Jealous... him. The thought was almost laughable. Trying to think of something else, he drew a blank. Instead, he was met with an unidentifiable feeling in the pit of his stomach. Frowning he lifted his hands and rubbed his temple. Why did he let her draw him into conversation? All it did was bring him nothing but pain and a headache.
As the ambulance came to a stop, he breathed a sigh of relief; being in close confines with Lexie was driving him insane. Waiting for her to go ahead of him, he watched her thank the ambulance driver; giving him a small smile.
His heart lurched at the sight, and it was at that moment he finally admitted what he had been feeling all afternoon.
He was jealous.
############################# Let me know what you think.
Let me know what you think.