Chapter 40

"Hey, man; it's your turn." Jasper says quietly causing me to look up from the magazine I've been reading.

"Thanks; don't forget that Dr. Harding likes to talk to both of us for a little while after she's seen us each separately." I say standing to go into her office.

"I won't, Edward; besides, it's Friend Day so I'm not going anywhere without you." He replies.

I nod and pat his shoulder. "Good. I'll see you in a bit." Smirking at the secretary, I walk right through the door and sit on the armchair next to the doctor's desk. "Hi, doc; how's it going?"

"Hello, Edward; it's nice to see you." Dr. Harding says. "I understand you've all moved into the new house; is that right?"

"Yeah, things have been going great! We just moved in and…" I bite my lip. "We've already christened the bedroom and playroom."

She looks to be fighting the urge to laugh and winning. "I heard; and I'll bet you had fun."

"I did…I think all three of us did…" I say grinning at the memory. "It's truly amazing to see Bella take such complete control of us that we beg to do her bidding." I start to tell her how we made love above Jasper, but she stops me saying that she'd already heard the story.

"If she's anything like Phil, I'm sure it must be quite a sight… At the last group session we spoke about Jasper's choice of slavery instead of just submission. Has anything changed in the way you feel about it?" The doctor asks.

"Not really. I still feel like he's using it to escape his own reality, but Bella and I have been encouraging him and he's finally decided that his 'job' will be to do some pro bono work at the law firm where he was previously a partner. Bella's such a kind Mistress and if he was almost anyone else's slave, he'd be in real trouble. She spoils him." I tell her. "He's got his own room; he's allowed to cook and do things around the house without explicit instructions." I go on to tell her about the rules in his room. "He'd NEVER get that sort of privacy in any other Dominant's home. In fact, any other Dominant would've stripped him naked and fucked his ass within seconds of showing it to him."

"Hmmm, that's true, but as you said, Bella is a kind Mistress to you both." She reminds me.

I nod. "So, next week is Christmas and then both he and I will start leaving the house."

"Why the frown, Edward?" Jennifer asks. "Do you not look forward to working with the Volturious brothers?"

"I do look forward to that, but at the same time, I feel nervous, doctor." I confess.

"Why?" She asks.

"I realized yesterday that, even though the three of us are settling into a new and more stable life, I have many new questions." I tell her.

"Like what?" She presses me.

"Well, with me starting school and work soon and Jasper going to work around the same time, she'll be alone… I know it's good for us to get out into the world, but I worry about Bella being alone in the house. What if James or some other loony toon gets into the house and hurts her?" I bite my lip again and stop wringing my hands as soon as Dr. Harding points out what I'm doing.

"Alright, this subject needs to be addressed: James is on the other side of the country, Edward. He's in prison and when he gets out, Phil will make sure he is no longer a threat to any of you. Can you try to talk to Bella about this? If you can't, I'll have to bring this up in a group session." She says carefully. Her eyes are gentle and her voice is soothing.

"I'll try, doctor." I nod slowly sighing.

"In the meantime, I want you to do a breathing and visualization exercise. Close your eyes and picture the state of Florida. Next, I want you to picture a large building with bars bullet-proof windows, thick walls and bars keeping James from escaping. Now, take a deep breath and repeat the following phrases: James is far away. He can't hurt us. We are safe." She instructs.

I do as she says and close my eyes; but the picture in my mind goes backward. I see James standing in a room. Bars suddenly pop into the picture. Then, windows and walls appear forming a large building. The next thing I see is Phil standing at the exit of this building. Finally, the general shape of Florida State surrounds both Phil and the building. I say the words she told me to speak; she has me repeat them five times before she calmly moves on.

"What else worries you about leaving the house?" Jennifer asks me.

"She'll be lonely, Doc. She's lost Alice, who was her best friend for quite a few of the last years…She needs a friend in the same way I need Jasper." I tell her.

"Are you concerned with who she might become close to?" Jennifer frowns.

"A little…I mean, will she get to be closer friends with Rosalie or with Angela? I know she's seeing my brother, but it'll be awkward seeing Rose and Bella outside of family things and that one scene I had to watch at the beginning of our relationship. If Bella picks Angela, will we start going to the club more often?" I ask. "Angela seems nice enough but the way she put Ben on display when she demonstrated the suspension rigs was…I felt his humiliation!"

"For the situation with Rose, you should take into account that nothing sexual has happened between them since that first time. As for Angela and Ben…you'll need to accept that it's probably just part of their play…Maybe he likes that, Edward." She says.

"Maybe; well, they're going to join us for dinner on Monday, so maybe we'll find out how far that goes…" I tell her. "Did Jazz tell you about the nipple rings?"

She nods her head. "You know I can't tell you that…"

I smirk. "Bella used nipple clamps on Jasper the other night and suggested using them on an extended basis but I saw them causing redness around the area, so I suggested nipple piercings as an alternative."

"Did Bella see the redness too?" She asks.

"I pointed it out to her. Anyway, she says if he agrees to get them, I'll be getting them too." I tell her.

She smiles and nods. "That's probably a good idea…What has Jasper said?"

"He hasn't said much, but I reminded him how much he love-hates the clamps and, last I'd heard, he was thinking about it." I smirk.

"Let's get him in here for the last few minutes." She suggests.

I nod and open the door. As I'm about to motion to Jasper, I notice that he's sitting like a statue and staring at the client who is standing at the desk. Turning, I see her. "Alice."

"Edward, I…" She says.

"No. I don't want to hear it." I cut her off before pulling Jasper into the inner office.

"What's going on, Edward?" Jennifer asks.

"His ex is out there." I say wrapping him in my arms. "I need to call Bella."

"Use my phone. I'll go and ask her to leave." Jennifer says getting up.

I listen at the door as Jennifer tells Alice that she has an agreement with Bella that she will not see both Alice and Jasper. Also, since Jasper was the previous client, he has priority. Not wanting to eavesdrop further, I quickly walk back to the desk and dial our new phone number.

"Hello?" Bella says.

"Bella, we're still with Dr. Harding." I tell her.

"Then why do you sound stressed?" She asks

"You know how she likes to have us together for a couple of minutes after seeing us separately?" I ask. Hearing an affirmative noise, I continue. "When I went to get him from the lobby, Alice was there."

"FUCK! Where's Jennifer?" Bella says instantly becoming 'Dommella'.

At that moment the receiver is pulled from my hand and Dr. Harding is putting her on speaker-phone. "Bella, please remember that this was not unanticipated. She came here because she was recommended and I informed her that I'd made an arrangement with the three of you. Legally, I cannot treat both Jasper and Alice. I've given her the number for a friend of mine and she has left the office."

"Good…Jasper, are you alright? Should I come down there?" Bella asks.

"N-No, I'll be ok. I only saw her. She didn't get a chance to say anything to me. She walked in and I was reading. I looked up when Edward opened the inner door and saw her right before he did. She just said his name." Jasper says while I hold his hand.

"I didn't want to hear anything she had to say so I cut her off and pulled Jazz into the inner office." I interject.

"I'm extending the session for a little while so they can talk about this, Bella. If you want, we'll wait for you." Dr. Harding says.

"Bella, I'm sure we'll be fine. We'll call you when we leave." I say.

"Ok, I'll stay here, but I'm staying on the line for this." She replies.

"Jasper, are you ok to continue?" The psychologist asks.

He nods.

"Ok, during our session, we discussed Alice, didn't we?" She asks.

His voice is soft and I can hear his vulnerability. "Yeah, you asked if I'd ever want to see her again or if I'd rather Bella and Edward deal with her. From this experience, I can say, I'd much prefer to leave the whole matter in Bella's hands; but I know I can't."

I cheer inwardly.

"She needs to know how much she hurt me and that if she'd just chosen differently, we wouldn't be in this mess." He says.

"I'm proud of you, Jasper." Dr. Harding says. "I regret that she upset you, but despite that, you have had a breakthrough. You've realized that you have a responsibility to handle some stressful but important things. You can't hide away forever. Life will keep going and the issues will manifest anyway."

I grip his hand and nod. "Good job, Jazz."

"Edward, you did a good thing by pulling Jasper in here. Your intent was to hide him from her, and you did…but you also enabled him to feel safe as he processed his feelings. He needed that time to think and to see that hiding is futile and he needs to confront some things for himself." She says to me. "Now, I want to focus on you. If you had a chance to tell her something… anything… what would it be?"

My thoughts run the gamut and the words and thoughts flow like lava from my lips. "Well, I guess I'd tell her how angry I am at her. She singlehandedly upset three lives. Bella was her friend; her best friend. Bella needs friends as much as anyone else! She depended on Alice to be there for her. She was supposed to support Bella; not envy her! Me; I guess I'm nothing to her, but I needed Bella's love, support and attention. I needed Jasper's love and friendship. She took those things away from me by creating a rift between Jasper and Bella and herself. Jasper depended on her to help keep him healthy and safe. He trusted her to guide him in the lifestyle as well as the world. He abused that trust! He was supposed to love him, not harm him! He hurt him! He hurt...me!"

"Who hurt you, Edward?" Jennifer asks as Jasper frowns and I hear Bella's voice asking what the heck is happening.

The words and thoughts run together and confuse the issues. I try to explain. "He hurt me! James hurt me! Damn it, he even left SCARS! He brought me into BDSM and fucked me over! I didn't want to be shared at first! James forced me to be with Vicki! He forced me to service Jacob! I trusted him and he destroyed that! He made me think no one would want me if I had scars!" Tears blur my vision but I feel Jasper's arms around me. "Bella wants me! Jasper wants me! He doesn't win if I'm scarred and they still want me!" I push my face into Jaspers shoulder and sob.

"Is he ok, Jennifer?" Bella's voice sounds worried.

"I've got him, Bella. He's ok for now. I'll bring him home." Jasper says.

"No…" I whimper as the disappointment in his voice cuts into my heart and start to cry harder. It wasn't supposed to be this way, damn it! Today is 'Friend Day'! I'm supposed to be calm and happy with Jazzy in a mall or movie theater!

Jennifer uses her intercom to talk to her secretary and cancel her further appointments. "Actually Bella, I think, it's best if you come down here."

"I'm on my way." She says quickly hanging up.

It takes a while for Bella to get here and I've calmed down a bit by the time she rushes into the room. Jasper is still holding my hand and I'm sipping water from a paper cup but I put it down as she cautiously approaches me. Her hands shake as she wraps her arms around me, but I barely notice because all I can think of is that she's here….she wants me…she loves me.

Dr. Harding just watches us for a moment before suggesting that Bella sit down between the two of us. "Bella, I want you to tell Edward and Jasper how you feel about their scars."

Jasper looks at her. "I'm not physically scarred, Doctor."

Bella nods at Jennifer and says, "Not all scars are physical, Jasper, but I'll start with that. Alice emotionally scarred you with her verbal sticks and stones. The invisible scars are sometimes worse than the visible ones. For example, Edward has seemed fully healed for months and months, but the invisible scars opened when he tried to protect you from further abuse by Alice because he recognized the similarities between your situation and his. With Edward, James began with verbal and emotional abuse but quickly integrated physical abuse. While Alice stopped the physical abuse when it was pointed out to her, James did not. They both went well past the limits you both had set."

Jasper sighs. "I understand."

"Good;" Bella goes on. "Don't get me wrong. I hate that the scars are there…I hate that my boys…my angels… are in any kind of pain…and I hate that, even though I was a part of your lives when the scars were inflicted, I couldn't do anything to protect you from the monsters who caused you pain. I love you both so much despite the scars. Edward, your scars don't affect my love for you. If you want to keep them, keep them, but please stop avoiding the subject of their removal. I won't love you any more or less if you have them removed, because you are not defined by those scars!"

I feel her words chip away at the walls around my emotions and a tear runs down my face.

She takes a tissue and catches it. "I love you, Edward."

I nod and breathe deeply as she clutches my hand.

She then sits on my lap, facing Jasper. "Jasper, your scars are not the visible kind and, because of that, they're more difficult to heal. It will help when you confront Alice about everything, but you need to do things and make decisions for yourself. Becoming my slave will NOT make your life easier; I promise you that. Yes, I'll be making most of the decisions but the really important ones are still yours to make."

He frowns.

I quietly begin to speak. "Jazz, she told you that you had to have some kind of job for three days per week, but she made YOU choose what that job would be. She isn't going to dictate the important things. She told you Alice wanted a divorce. Has she gotten papers drawn up or has she given you the time and space to get used to the idea and do those things for yourself?"

Bella smiles sadly. "I'll command you and demand things of you daily, boys, but just because I'm a big part of your lives doesn't mean that your lives and decisions need to revolve around me."

"Good, Bella, now turn that around." Jennifer says.

"Just because they are a big part of my life…" She starts and sighs. "I get it, Jennifer: just because they're a big part of my life, that doesn't mean that my life has to revolve around them."

"Good. Now that all three of you have made breakthroughs, I think the day can move forward, don't you?" Dr. Harding hints.

We all smirk and nod.

"Ok, now for homework: Edward, remember that breathing and visualizing exercise I showed you. Jasper, next time I see you, I want to hear about some important decisions you've made. Bella, I want to hear about some things you've done for yourself without the boys. Does everyone understand?"

I nod and notice the others doing the same.

"Great! Now, what were your original plans for today?" She asks.

"Well, Edward and I were going to go to the mall and possibly a movie," Jasper volunteers.

"I was just going to relax with a book or something at home." Bella says.

"Well, what are you all waiting for?" She asks. "Go have fun!"

I smirk and sigh as we leave the office.

"Since its lunchtime, I suggest we have lunch out and then go back to the original plan. What do you say guys?" Bella asks.

I nod tiredly. "I could really go for something spicy."

"I'd kind of like something a bit mellow; my stomach isn't very settled." Jasper frowns.

"Why don't we go for Chinese food? They have both." She grins.

We follow her down the street and Jasper opens the door for us both before following us in. I get the Kung Pao chicken while Jasper gets a beef and veggie combo. Bella gets shrimp fried rice and picks from both our plates.

After escorting her back to our cars and seeing her off, I hand Jasper the keys to the Ferrari. "I'm not up to driving, Jazz. Let's get to the mall."

He drives carefully and gets us to the mall intact. We window-shop for a while before I see something I like. Its something fun and I think she'll love it.

In the same store, Jazz sees a bunch of silky scarves. "Can't you imagine, her tying one of us up with these. I can just see it; the next day she wears one around her neck and the whole day we see it and remember the night before!"

I chuckle. "Yeah, she'll love that!"

We make our purchases and check the box office to see the movie times. I don't really care for anything that's currently playing, so I let Jasper pick.

"The Hangover part 2…? Really Jazz?" I sigh. "Ok, let's go in…unless you want some popcorn or something…"

"No, I'm good." He says, so we go in and get seats. The movie is just as funny as the first, if not more so. When it ends, I grab his hand and we walk to the car together. Feeling slightly better then I was this morning, I drive us home.

Bella is sitting in the living-room and as we walk in she puts her book down. "Hey, boys; how was the movie?" We make small talk for a little while before Bella becomes Mistress. "Jasper, you can go make dinner. It's time to get back to our routine. Edward, please join me in our room, please?"

I nod and follow her but Jasper asks me to wait. He undresses and hands me his clothes asking me to put them on his bed. I agree and hurry to Mistress' room.

She raises an eyebrow when she sees me with Jasper's clothes but after I explain, she understands and let's me go past her. When I come back, she points to the bed. "Lay down, angel."

I lay on my back.

"Now, Edward, I don't want you to say a word for now. Just let me do this and we can talk later." She says as she uses the straps from under the bed to bind me in place.

When she's done, I can't move so I'm stuck wondering what she's going to do.

Her tender touch begins at my throat. Working her way down my body, she kisses occasionally.

After a while I notice that the places she kisses are the places where James had marked me. I catch onto her plan quickly and decide that now is a good time to do the breathing and visualizing that Dr. Harding had taught me. Each time she kisses I repeat the phrases the psychologist told me. I breathe in. 'James is far away.' I say to myself as I breathe out. 'He can't hurt us.' I breathe in again. 'We are safe.' I breathe out and barely notice as she coaxes me to turn over. This time she starts at the nape of my neck and tenderly works her way down my body. I feel her lips on my shoulder blade and know that she's almost where I need her the most. The moment I feel her light kiss on the top of the branded symbol, I breathe deeply again. 'James is far away.' I breathe out. 'He can't hurt us.' I breathe in. 'We are safe.' I breathe out and feel my eyes become moist; I'm crying softly into the sheets of our bed.

She doesn't move on from the brand for a while.

I feel her kiss every inch of my scarred skin multiple times in the pattern he'd used. I just keep breathing and visualizing Bella's lips as an eraser. Every time she kisses my skin the scar is less and less. When Bella finally moves on to the scars on my legs, I've stopped crying and my breathing is back to normal.

"After dinner, my sweet angel, Jasper will do the same thing." Bella promises. "After that, I'll use my hands and Jazzy's mouth to make you cum."

My Mistress keeps her promise. Dinner is wonderful and once the dishes are put in the washer, Bella commands Jasper to our room and asks him if he accepts my scars. One by one he says, 'I love my Master and accept his scars'. He follows the same pattern as she did. Again, I use the breathing and visualization; crying as he makes love to my brand. Once finished with that, they put me on my back. Then they bind my legs up and open. She begins to finger my opening while he straddles my neck. Her touch can be felt deep within me as she strokes my prostate and Jasper suckles my cock.

"Don't fight it, angel, cum for us; as much as you like." Mistress instructs me.

Her fingers and Jasper's lips don't leave my body until I've cum three times, weeping from exhaustion. They take me to the shower and wash me before getting into bed on either side of me. I feel their arms and their love surround me as I drift off again.

Days pass uneventfully, like the sand in the hourglass that Bella loves so much and keeps on our desk in the office. It's suddenly Monday and Ben and Angela will be here in a few hours.

I've spoken to Bella and found out that we'll be serving dinner and dessert. I'm relieved to say that, although Jasper and I will be in revealing clothing and D/s mode, there will not be any kind of exhibition. I wouldn't like seeing them use our things and I don't really like to be paraded in front of people too often. I mean, it's nice to be shown off occasionally but it can get tedious and embarrassing.

Bella has once again chosen the outfits we are supposed to wear.

She has put us both in strange harnesses that resemble a leather jock strap but with our cocks and balls pulled through a hole and held up on display by three buckled straps. There is also a strap that covers our asses and holds in a plug; it gets locked in place with a few small padlocks. Our collars are on and Bella has put nipple clamps on Jasper. He has agreed to get the piercings, but since we didn't have time in the past few days, the clamps will do for now. Instead of the nipple clamps, I get to wear a black latex tank top. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and shake my head. As the doorbell rings, I wonder what she has planned…


Thanks to hnwhitlock2000! You're the best Beta! SH will be updating soon, so don't forget to read Bella's POV!

Also, I've written 2 entries for the following contest: http:/www . fanfiction . net/u/2743940/showerstoflowers

If you guess which ones are mine…and please REVIEW them…I'll mention you and one of your stories in an author's note next chapter! Voting ends Friday May 27th!