Title: All's Not Lost

Author: forsaken2003

Pairings: S/X, A/W

Rating: NC17 (Mild description)

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Xander is date raped and Spike is there to help him

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5 No Glory, No Dawn

Plot Bunny by: Lady Q: write a story where Xander is date raped

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part Six

Spike sat at the bar drinking a beer, he ignored the waitress that was trying to pick him up. She was cute enough but right now all he could think about was Xander. He wanted to forget the stupid mistake he just about made with Xander. Xander needed his help not him trying to snog him. With a sigh he downed the rest of the beer and ordered another one.

He knew he needed to get back to Xander's apartment; he didn't want Xander to be alone for to long. Spike doubted that Brett would actually be stupid enough to go and see Xander but Xander didn't need to be left alone he was still too fragile. After he finished his latest beer Spike stood up tossed a few bills on the bar before leaving.

When he returned to the apartment he found all the lights turned off and Xander's door closed. Wanting to make sure he was alright Spike knocked on the door twice before walking in. He found Xander curled up in a ball on the bed holding a pillow tightly against his chest, "Xander?"

"What do you want Spike?" Xander asked not looking at him.

Spike could smell that Xander had recently gotten out of the shower, droplets hanging to the ends of his hair. "Are you alright?"

"Just leave me alone," Xander said and turned over leaving his back to face Spike.

"Xander, I'm sorry about earlier," Spike apologized. He smelt the tears before seeing Xander's body rake with sobs. Without hesitation Spike climbed onto the bed and wrapped himself around Xander. "It's alright pet."

Xander buried his head into his pillow before speaking.

"I didn't quite catch that Xan," Spike spoke softly as he stroked Xander's side.

"I'm disgusting," Xander repeated loud enough this time for Spike to hear.

Spike pulled the pillow away and tossed it onto the floor so Xander wouldn't hide behind it, "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"I'm dirty and I can't get clean," Xander sobbed. "I'm never going to be clean and it's all your fault!" He screamed.

Spike growled, "My fault? And how do you figure this is my fault Whelp? I'm not the one that set you up with the bastard!"

"It's not… I'm just tired." Xander buried further under the covers. "I'm sorry Spike."

Spike climbed off the bed, his anger deflated, Xander sounded so broken. "Can I do anything?"

"Could you stay? Just for a little while," Xander asked his eyes red and puffy. "Keep the nightmares away?"

Spike pulled off his docs before climbing under the covers. Xander wiggled to get closer and grabbed a handful of the black t-shirt. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright luv," Spike nuzzled his cheek against Xander's head. "Willy's looking into finding someone to get this chip out and than we'll get your revenge."

"Can I ask a favour?" Xander asked several minutes later.

"Anything," Spike replied.

Xander turned his head his breath warm on Spike's neck, "Just kill him, no torture. I just want him dead."

Spike wanted to protest but in the end it was Xander's decision, "Done."

Buffy and Willow stopped by the construction site for lunch and to check up on Xander. Willow had phoned Buffy that morning telling her when Angel came home he was acting weird, broodier than she'd ever seen him. The girls decided that they would question Xander about the date, something was wrong and they were determined to find out what. Now they sat at on the grass under a tree across from the site.

Xander bit into his sandwich and looked up at his friends who were both staring at him. "What?" He asked wondering if he had mayo on his chin.

"We want to know what happened with Brett," Buffy interrogated Xander before biting into her apple.

Xander's breath hitched, he should have known they'd gang up on him. "H-he's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in is all." He set his sandwich down all of a sudden losing his appetite.

Willow looked sympathetic, "Still crushing on Spike?" She asked forgetting Buffy didn't know.

"You're crushing on Spike?" Buffy's jaw dropped, "Since when?"

"Awhile now," Xander and pulled the bread apart rolling it into small pieces.

"Does he know?" Buffy asked shocking both Xander and Willow when she didn't freak out about the new discovery.

"No, and I'm pretty sure he isn't interested," Xander answered looking even more uncomfortable.

Willow squeezed his hand, "You'll find the right guy."

"How do you know he doesn't like you?" Buffy questioned, she couldn't believe anyone could not like Xander, he was just too loveable. "Did you ask him?"

"No, it's complicated Buff," Xander had to give a relieved smile though. He didn't want on top of everything for Buffy to be mad or disgusted with him.

"Speaking of Spike, we stopped by his crypt last night to pay him for his help and he wasn't there. It doesn't look like he's been there in a couple days." Willow raised an eyebrow at her best friend. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is, do you?"

Xander looked guilty, "He actually moved back in with me, demon problems."

"Cheated at kitten poker again?" Buffy guessed.

"Got it on your first guess," Xander answered with a laugh. He looked at his watch, "Well ladies I need to get back to work. I'll see you guys later." He stood and helped his friends up before jogging across the street.

"Wills, I'll see you later I have a vamp to see," Buffy dusted herself off.

Willow looked worried, "You're not going to meddle are you?"

"Me meddle?" Buffy tried to sound shocked failing miserably. With a wave she was gone.

"Poor Spike," Willow said to herself before heading the opposite way to the college.

Title: All's Not Lost 7/10

Author: forsaken2003

Pairings: S/X, A/W

Rating: NC17 (Mild description)

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Xander is date raped and Spike is there to help him

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5 No Glory, No Dawn

Plot Bunny by: Lady Q: write a story where Xander is date raped

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part Seven

Buffy used the key she had gotten from Xander to get into the apartment. She looked around and noticed a chunk of blonde hair stick out on the arm of the couch. When she realised he was sleeping she grabbed a hold of the back of the couch and tipped it sending Spike to the floor.

Spike jumped up from the floor in game face snarling when he saw Buffy, "Bloody hell woman! Can't a vampire get a decent sleep around here?"

"What's wrong with Xander?" Buffy demanded to know.

"He told you?" Spike clearly surprised.

"So you know?" Buffy's eyes narrowed.

Spike pulled out a cigarette, "Course I know, knew from the start."

"So what he isn't good enough for you?" Buffy asked. "You'd be damn lucky to have someone like Xander!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Spike raised both eyebrows. So apparently Xander didn't tell her.

"I'm talking about Xander totally crushing on you for some disturbing reason. You can't even give him a chance?"

Spike fell onto the couch. Xander had a crush on him? It suddenly hit him about Xander's out burst the night before about it being his fault. Xander had assumed he had no chance with the vampire.

Buffy couldn't help but notice Spike completely thrown from the revelation. "I thought you said you knew."

"I did… I just didn't know you knew is all." Spike composed himself. "So you came all the way down here why?"

"I think you should give him a chance," Buffy explained. "He tried moving on from his feelings and it obviously didn't work. I'm not saying you have to fall in love with him but would a date kill you?"

"I guess not…" Spike's mind still reeling. All this time he had been afraid to go after what belonged to him when Xander was apparently willing to be with him. He was an idiot. He couldn't do anything about it right now though could he? Xander didn't need him plastered all over him. But at the same time maybe Xander needed to know that he was wanted. "I'll talk to him about it alright?"

Buffy nodded, "Just don't hurt him. He's been down the last few days. He thinks he's hiding it but he's not."

"Don't plan on hurting him, I don't mind him much." Spike told her straight out, "Wouldn't mind being with someone who isn't barmy."

"Good," Buffy said with a smile. She was Buffy the match maker! "I'm gonna be late for class."

Spike watched her rush out the door. He looked around the living room and noted that it could use a tidy up. Starting with the mugs with crusted blood he left the night before he set off to work.

When Xander returned home from work, he was exhausted. He probably should have taken Spike's advice and called in sick. Maybe he'll do that tomorrow. His leg had been killing him.

"Spike you here?" Xander asked as he dropped his tool belt of the floor.

"I just spent the better half of my afternoon cleaning this place up, put that sodding thing away," Spike ordered and came out from the kitchen.

Xander bent down and picked up his belt and placed it in the hall closet. When he walked into the living room he instantly saw the difference from that morning. "You cleaned?"

Spike shrugged, "Nothing better to do. How are you doing?"

"Sore, I think I'm going to take your advice and play hooky tomorrow." Xander answered and gently sat on the couch.

"Good, didn't just mean your leg though. This was your first day back to work," Spike explained, wanting to make sure Xander was alright.

"I didn't have any breakdowns if that's what you mean. I apparently save those for you," Xander said obviously embarrassed about the previous night.

Spike saw his opening, "About that. Buffy came by this afternoon, felt we needed to have a chat."

"Buffy stopped by?" Xander scooted over to let Spike sit. "What did she want to talk about?"

"You and me, it seems she has this crazy notion that you're interested in me." Spike jumped right in.

"S-she told you that?" Xander asked shrinking into himself. "Look I know you don't feel that way about me. I got that message last night. Loud and clear I think there was even a bulletin board."

"I don't believe I didn't say I wasn't interested." Spike raised an eyebrow at Xander.

Xander looked up at Spike, "But last night you… I don't know what you almost did."

"I almost kissed you," Spike filled him in. "I stopped myself because you don't need anyone crowding you like that right now."

"Your conversation with Angel last night, when you were talking about me belonging to you. You didn't mean as a pet did you?" Xander asked hope filling his voice.

"No in the beginning I did of course, big bad and all. You were pretty and I wanted you. But after the damn Initiative crippled me and I got to know you things changed." Spike decided to be honest, Xander deserved that much. "Don't plan on rushing you into anything. I just want you to know it's an option when you feel like you're ready for it."

Xander merely nodded thinking about what Spike said. When he was ready he'd definitely take Spike up on the offer, "You hungry?"

"Already ate, but I ordered a pizza for you," Spike told him. "Why don't you get washed up it'll be here shortly."

"Thanks I could use some cheesy goodness," Xander smiled at him before standing. "I'll be back in a few."

Spike watched as Xander made his way into the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed he went over to the phone and dialled Willy's number. Sure he told Willy he'd give him forty-eight hours but he was a demon would it be that big of shock that he lied.

"Willy, yeah it's Spike… did you find anything… I don't care if I gave you forty-eight hours I want something now." Spike growled into the phone, "A witch? Where? … Are you bleeding kidding me? ... Fine," He hung up snarling in frustration. Spike looked at the closed bathroom door. How the hell was he supposed to tell Xander he had to go to Nepal?

Title: All's Not Lost 8/10

Author: forsaken2003

Pairings: S/X, A/W

Rating: NC17 (Mild description)

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Xander is date raped and Spike is there to help him

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5 No Glory, No Dawn

Plot Bunny by: Lady Q: write a story where Xander is date raped

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part Eight

"Nepal?" Xander asked with disbelief.

"Yeah," Spike answered.

"The one that's in Asia?" Xander questioned hoping he was just confused.

Spike nodded, "It's the first one that Willy found. I've got to go."

"How long?" Xander slouched down. He had only been in the shower for maybe twenty minutes. How could things change that fast? Spike was leaving him.

"I don't know pet," Spike wrapped his hand around Xander's neck trying to ease the tension. "Do you want me to stay? Wait until we find one that's closer?

"Yes," Xander replied. "But that could take months if not longer. You want the chip out and this might be your only chance. When will you leave?"

"Soon as possible I guess, tomorrow." Spike suggested and placed a kiss on Xander's temple. "Will you be alright?"

Xander shrugged, "I don't know. You'll come back though right?"

"Course I will," Spike promised. "Have a job to do here don't I? Besides I don't plan on leaving you. Still waiting for my chance with you aren't I?" He smiled at Xander.

Xander sighed, "It's only be four days and I already trust you. Why is that?"

"I'm a trustworthy guy," Spike retorted which earned him a snort. "You know I'll protect you."

"I do," Xander established with a sigh. "Are you going to want to patrol?"

"Think the others can handle it without us for one night." Spike said he had no idea how long he'd be gone so he wanted to spend his last night with his boy.

Giles looked over at Xander who had his head resting on his arms resembling a kicked puppy. He had been that way for the last two weeks. Afraid of the reason, which he already knew. Spike had disappeared, not that he was complaining any but it obviously seemed to be a distraction for the young man. Both Willow and Buffy also noticed it. Angel even seemed concerned and offered to stay since they seemed to be down two men for patrol.

Now for the most part Xander just hung around sulking. "Xander I know we've already asked but what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Xander buried his head into his arms. If he had known he'd be this affected by Spike leaving he would have told him to stay to find another way to get rid of the chip. He hadn't heard from him and that worried him. What if he got the chip out and decided Xander wasn't worth coming back for? What if something happened to him and he was now dust?

"If that undead ass comes back I'm so going to kick his ass." Buffy said she hated seeing her friend like this. Obviously Spike took off as soon as he could after their talk.

Angel stood up, "Xander I think the wooden horse is a little shaky maybe you could take a look at it?"

Xander looked up and saw Angel's nudging his head to the backroom. "Yeah sure," He stood and followed Angel. Everyone's eyes followed them.

Angel closed the door behind Xander, "He isn't dead."

"How do you know?" Xander asked sitting on the couch.

"I'd feel it," Angel explained sitting beside Xander. "He's going to be back."

Xander looked at Angel; he had dark bags under his eyes. "What if he decided I'm not worth it?"

"Xander," Angel sighed. "It's been three years since I 'offered' you to him. Did it really seem like he lost interest in you? He's kept your secret for you. If he wasn't planning on coming back for you I have no doubt he would have gone to the others and told them before skipping out."

"I want him to come back," Xander said miserably.

"Do you love him?" Angel asked.

Xander bit his lip, "I don't know. How can I love someone that's tried to kill me? Besides that I don't think I'm ready for anything more."

"No one is telling you to," Angel told him. "You can't help who you fall in love with. He isn't going to push you into anything." He looked over at Xander debating on saying anything else. "Look Xander, I think you should tell them."

"Are you kidding me?" Xander stood up and paced. "What the hell am I suppose to say. 'Hey guys remember that date you set me up on? Well he kind of raped me. Sorry I didn't tell you soon.'"

Both heads turned when Giles's glasses hit the floor. Him, Willow and Buffy were all standing at the doorway.

"H-hey guys," Xander said weakly.

"He what?" Willow asked hoping she heard wrong. She couldn't have set up her best friend with a rapist.

Buffy's hands became fists, she'd kill him. How dare that bastard hurt her friend, "I'll kill him."

"Buffy you can't," Giles placed a hand on both hers and Willow's shoulders trying to calm both of them. "You're a slayer, slayers don't kill humans. I on the other hand can."

"No!" Xander began panicking. They all knew, knew how disgusting he was, how weak. "None of you are going to do anything."

Willow went over to Xander pulling him into a hug. "I'm so sorry Xan," She sobbed into his neck. "We didn't know."

"Shh Wills," Xander wrapped his arms around her. "I know it's not your fault."

"Xander let me get revenge for you," Buffy begged. She needed to make things right.

Xander pulled her into the hug, "I don't want you doing anything that you'll regret in the future."

"I'd never regret that," She whispered.

"We should go to the police," Giles spoke up. If Xander wouldn't let him take care of it than the man should be punished in another manor.

Xander shook his head, "I didn't want anyone to know. Besides Spike's going to take care of it."

"Spike?" Willow pulled away. "But he has the chip."

"He's gone to Nepal to get it removed," Xander told them waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

"How does Spike know?" Buffy asked. Why would Xander tell Spike and not them?

Xander wrapped his arms around himself feeling exposed. "He was at my apartment that night. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want to make you feel like it was your fault. You had no idea what kind of guy he really was."

"When is Spike going to return?" Giles asked he may not like the vampire but he was protecting Xander he had to have some respect for that.

"I don't know," Xander replied. "I'm hoping soon though."

"You're going to stay with me and Angel," Willow told him. "I don't want you staying alone, not until Spike comes back."

Xander looked between Angel and Willow both seemed to genuinely want him there, "Just until Spike gets back."

Angel smiled; for once Xander listened to him. Spike would be back.

Title: All's Not Lost 9/10

Author: forsaken2003

Pairings: S/X, A/W

Rating: NC17 (Mild description)

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Xander is date raped and Spike is there to help him

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5 No Glory, No Dawn

Plot Bunny by: Lady Q: write a story where Xander is date raped

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part Nine

It had been another week and a half since Spike left to get the chip removed. Whenever he started to doubt that Spike would return Willow would tell him to have faith.

Xander was still awake in Willow's spare bedroom. When the door creaked open Xander tensed. Willow only came into check on him if he had nightmares. The bed shifted and than a hand was on his shoulder. It was calloused, Willow's hand was soft. Xander couldn't help the whimper that escaped his lips. Brett found him.

"Hush pet," Spike whispered in his ear.

"Spike?" Xander whipped around not being able to see Spike because it was so dark.

The table lamp was turned on making Xander squint. Spike sat on the bed looking ragged. "You look like shit Xan."

"Could say the same about you," Xander shot back but the relief of having Spike back was obvious. "How did you know I was here?"

"Left me a note remember?" Spike reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Xander had forgotten about that. It seemed like a life time ago. "Are you alright?"

Spike laid down beside Xander, "Yeah. It took me a week to find the bloody witch."

"Did you get it out?" Xander asked looking hopeful.

"Not exactly," Spike replied but didn't seem to want to continue.

Xander grabbed Spike's hand, "What happened?"

"She knew right away why I was there. Knew that I wanted to be whole again. She told me she wouldn't do it, having another demon running around killing more innocents." Spike stated.

"So she wouldn't help you?" Xander asked disappointment clear in his voice.

"Didn't say that did I?" Spike raised an eyebrow, "Just said she didn't want me killing the good little happy meals. She agreed to malfunction the chip to an extent. Apparently she likes revenge as much as a vengeance demon."

Xander wanted to stomp his feet, he probably would have if he had been standing, "Spike!"

"Anyways," Spike smirked at him. He loved annoying Xander. "I can't kill the good guys or the chip will go off but I am fully capable of going after bad ones."

Xander whooped with joy and jumped on Spike hugging him. When Spike didn't return the hug Xander let go and slipped back to the other side of the bed. "What's wrong? This is what you wanted right? To be able to kill again?"

Spike shook himself, he knew Xander wanted Spike to get revenge for him but he was sure once Spike returned Xander would have changed his mind. "Yeah pet, I was just waiting for you to say you changed your mind is all."

"Xander are you okay?" Willow walked in clearly surprised to see Spike. Her eyes widened, "It's about time you got back mister! Do you have any idea what you've put Xander through? How many nights he'd cry out your name? You better have gotten the damn chip out."

Spike looked at Xander, "How does the witch know?"

"They all know Spike," Xander's eyes shifted between the two. "About everything."

"Oh that's just bloody perfect!" Spike jumped off the bed. "Now the damn slayer is going to dust me. Couldn't keep your trap shut could you?"

Xander shrunk into himself. He didn't even see Willow move until Spike fell back onto the bed holding his jaw.

"Don't you talk to him like that," Willow hissed at him. "He's been through hell, and he doesn't need you being a big jerk. Buffy isn't going to kill you. She actually wanted to be the one to kill Brett. Giles and I were right in line with her."

Spike sighed and curled up next to Xander, "Sorry luv. It's been a long few weeks."

Willow smiled as Spike nuzzled Xander's cheek, "Now that you boys are done talking. I'm going back to sleep." She left them to themselves.

"I didn't mean to tell them. It's just they all wanted to go after him and I had to you know?" Xander said timidly. "Their not mad, I think they've actually been eager for you to come back. Buffy was getting an itchy trigger finger in a manor of speaking." He wrapped an arm around Spike's waist, "Missed you."

Spike smiled, "Missed you too pet." He pulled the blanket up around both of them. "Get some sleep we'll talk more later."

Xander nodded and kissed Spike's cheek. "Yeah talking would be good."

They all sat around the Magic Box, each of them quiet. Angel had returned to L.A a couple days earlier because of another up and coming apocalypse.

Buffy looked between Spike and Xander, no one could ignore how close they sat beside each other. "So what's the plan?"

"I kill him," Spike growled his eyes flashing yellow.

"I get that, and I am all for helping but a plan is always good." Buffy responded with an eye roll.

Xander grabbed a hold of Spike's hand earning him a smile, "If it's all the same I'd really prefer if you all weren't there."

"Xander," Giles pulled his glasses off cleaning them. "We all want justice for you."

"I just want him dead. Spike can handle that. If you guys take part in it, it will eat you up. Maybe not today but one day," Xander told them. "I don't want that on my conscious. So please for respect for me let us handle it."

"But…" Buffy went to argue but stopped when Willow laid a hand on her arm.

Willow looked at Xander, "If that's what you want we won't fight you."

"Thanks Wills," Xander gave her a half smile.

Spike wanted to get this over with and to let Xander finally have some rest. "Where do we find him?"

"It's Friday," Xander said quietly. "He told me he goes to that underground club I told you about every Friday."

"Looks like we're going clubbing than pet," Spike informed Xander. "You don't have to come you know? You've got nothing to prove." He whispered in Xander's ear.

"I want too," Xander answered with determination. "I want to see him with same fear I had."

Title: All's Not Lost 10/10

Author: forsaken2003

Pairings: S/X, A/W

Rating: NC17 (Mild description)

Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!

Summary: Xander is date raped and Spike is there to help him

Warnings/Spoilers: Season 5 No Glory, No Dawn

Plot Bunny by: Lady Q: write a story where Xander is date raped

Beta'd by: Dragonfly_64

Part Ten

Spike and Xander walked into the club, the music blaring. Xander stepped closer to Spike as panic rose in his chest. All the memories coming back, dancing on the dance floor, chatting at the table and the rape popped out even more so now.

"Almost over pet," Spike whispered in his ear. "When we're done here we'll head home. Lock ourselves away from the world for awhile. Just you and me."

"Can we order take out?" Xander asked trying to take his mind off the present situation.

Spike looked around trying to spot his prey. "Anything you want luv."

Xander smiled a little and wrapped his arm around Spike's waist keeping him close. He refused to think about what he was about to let Spike kill someone. It wasn't his fault; none of it was his fault. "I don't see him," Xander did another look around. "W-what if he's in the backroom with someone else?"

Spike's nostrils flared, "Where's the backroom?"

"Behind the bar," Xander answered pointing in the right direction.

Making sure he had a firm grip on Xander Spike pushed his way through the crowd. He ignored the dirty looks and curses that were directed at him. He pushed open the door his gaze automatically landing on Brett and another man.

"Help me!" The man neither of them knew begged from over Brett's shoulder.

Spike growled and ripped Brett off the poor sod, giving him time to scramble up and get his clothes on before dashing out of the room.

Brett stood and glared at Spike before his eyes landed on Xander, "Xander it's nice to see you again."

Xander's hands became fists, his anger getting the best of him. Who did this guy think he was? That he could ask so nonchalant after what he did to Xander.

"Don't need to be talking to him," Spike snarled. "You really thought you'd get away with what you did to my boy?"

Brett looked confused, "Your boy? Hey man I didn't know he was with you."

Xander hauled Brett up and slammed him into the wall. "He's talking about what you did to me you bastard."

Brett looked at Xander his eyes wide with fear, "Hey it wasn't all bad was it?"

Xander punched Brett in the face, "Having your tiny dick touching me at all was bad."

Spike placed a hand on Xander's shoulder, "Xander let me finish this yeah?"

"Spike I…" Xander's hand tightened around Brett's neck

"What is it pet?" Spike asked wondering what was going on through Xander's mind.

"I want to be the one to kill him," Xander replied his eyes cold as he looked at Brett. He couldn't be scared anymore, he had to face this.

Spike's eyes widened, "Xander… no."

"Why not?" Xander demanded to know. "He made me suffer it's only fair that I kill him."

"You are not a killer," Spike told him feeling like he had to remind him. "You can't go back who you were if you take a life."

"I'm not the same person though am I?" Xander countered back.

Spike shook his head, Xander was right he wasn't the same person not completely. "I'm not going to let you lose more of yourself. I know I promised I'd do anything for you but this isn't one of them." He grabbed Xander and pushed him away before snapping Brett's neck. "You're not a monster not like me."

Xander was angry, at Spike and Brett but also at himself. When did he become the monster? He fell to the floor and just stared at Brett who seemed to be staring right back.

"It's over Xan," Spike said as he knelt before Xander. "You best get out of here I'll meet you at the car. I'll be there in a mo' just got to get rid of the trash."

Spike helped him back up and Xander leaned in to Spike's space and placed a soft and quick kiss on his lips. Pulling away Xander almost looked at peace, "Thank you Spike. Thank you for not letting me. It's weird I'm pissed at you for it but at the same time I'm not."

"That means I made the right decision. You wouldn't have been able to live with it pet, would have eaten you up from the inside and killed you." Spike placed a hand on Xander's cheek. "I wouldn't be able to live with that."

Xander gave him a small smiled and made his way to the door before pausing, "Spike?"

"Yeah luv?" Spike asked as he hulled Brett up off the floor.

"I want you to stick around," Xander told him. "Is that okay?"

"Not going anywhere Nummy," Spike promised and than shooed him away. He had clean up to do before they could go home.

The next few days Spike refused to let the others around. Right now Xander needed to process what had happened and he couldn't do that with his friends crowding him. He noticed that Xander seemed to be fine though. It made him think that maybe Xander wasn't as good as everyone had originally thought or Brett took a piece of his soul that he wouldn't get back.

Xander looked over at Spike and smiled before turning his attention back to the X-men movie that was playing on television. His hand slid across the couch and not so subtly took a hold of Spike's. A small smile played over his lips when Spike gave his hand a firm but gentle squeeze.

Than again maybe Spike could help Xander find that piece that was missing. He settled back to watch the movie. That Hugh Jackman wasn't such a bad looking bloke.

The End