Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all of the reviews. It really means a lot and I apologize over and over again for not updating in such a long time. I've been quite busy with school but as things begin to wind down, I hope that I will be able to update more often. Thanks for being so patient with me. You all are truly the greatest readers an author could ever ask for. Now without further ado, here is chapter thirty one.
Chapter thirty one: Once More, Never Ending
He just wanted to disappear. It was a simple request, he wasn't asking too much, just to be granted the ability to close his eyes and just vanish from this horrid nightmare into a reality that pleased him. Preferably, he thought, one where he was not pregnant.
The word came out in an unnaturally shrill tone as Puck stood there positively dumbstruck. Kurt looked up, his trail of thought no more as he eyed Puck with a deadpan expression.
"There's nothing to explain." The words escaped Kurt's tongue laced with uneasiness. "You were imagining things."
Puck let out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, because it's quite normal to imagine a dude's stomach kicking you!"
Kurt swallowed hard not wanting to go through this again. Doing his best to ignore the thumping noise in his head which he was sure was the sound of his own heart beating; he shoved his hands into the thin lips of his jean pockets.
"Puck, it's late." He said wearily. "I'm tired, you're tired…exhaustion makes you imagine things you know."
Puck did not seem convinced. In the glow of Puck's head lights, Kurt noted how his normally tan complexion had gone pallor. His hands clutched one another almost as if trying to wring out the life present in both. Shaking his head, Puck gnawed on his bottom lip as if trying to make out what exactly was going on.
"I…I really need to go now, Puck." Kurt said as he took a step towards his house. "Go home and get's some rest. Tomorrow morning, you'll be laughing about how—"
Before Kurt knew what had happened Puck had pressed the palm of his hand to the underside of his stomach. He tried to back up but Puck's free hand grabbed him roughly by the wrist holding him in place. His heart began to pound as he tired to squirm free.
"Let go, Noah!" He said in a rather shrill voice as he tried to wriggle free. "I—I will kick you, I will!" Kurt's eyes landed on the windows of his home as a light seemed to flick on inside. He began to wonder if it had been the commotion or rather, the high beams from Puck's car that had roused everyone within. It was at that exact moment that the tiny being inside his womb decided to once more make its presences known. Kurt stopped moving knowing now he couldn't possibly deny what he had been trying to before.
"Kurt?" The door to the house opened as Carole and Burt peeked outside. "Kurt is that you?" Another figure could be seen looming behind the others as cries of relief escaped from the figures in different octaves.
Puck let go of Kurt's wrist as he sunk to the ground obviously more in shock now than before. Kurt found himself no longer in the grasp of Noah Puckerman but in that of his stepmother's who, it seemed, had made it over to him far quicker than the men.
"Oh, Kurt!" Carole breathed as her arms tightened around him like a boa constrictor. "We were so worried! Are you alright?"
By now Burt and Finn had arrived at Carole's side. Kurt felt a burning anger as he focused on a smudge on his left shoe not wanting to meet Finn's gaze. At Carole's question he merely nodded not commenting vocally.
"Why didn't you call us?" asked a deeper voice which he recognized as his father's. "You had us all thinking you were dead. For all we knew, you were!" Burt's tone was thick with lividness which made Kurt feel a pang of guilt. He knew his father would not be using such a tone unless he truly had been deeply concerned about Kurt's life.
"Sorry." Kurt finally mumbled after finding his voice. "I wasn't watching the time…" He looked up ever so slightly meeting his father's gaze. "Puck was kind enough to give me a ride home."
Puck, who at the time was sitting on the ground holding his head in his hands, looked up slowly. "It was…" He paused, a strange thickness in his tone. "—not a problem."
Carole smiled warmly at Puck. "Well, we really thank you for bringing Kurt home to us."
Kurt frowned deeply at her comment. For bringing Kurt home to us? What am I, I lost dog? He thought to himself as his hands clenched and unclenched feeling Finn's stare burning into the back of his neck.
"Like I said," Puck replied in a quieter tone, his eyes locked onto Kurt's midsection. "It was no problem."
Burt's eyes followed Puck's gaze and he visibly stiffened. Kurt's eyes flicked quickly meeting his father's gaze at once. He didn't even have to say anything, Puck's actions proved what his father had just been wondering.
"We should go inside." Burt said gruffly as he eyed Puck with a faint scowl. "It's not getting any warmer out here." He nodded his head towards the house. "Why don't you come inside too, Noah? Carole can phone your mother and let her know you're over here… After all, I'm sure she's worried about you too."
Puck's eyes appeared to bug slightly out of his skull as he seemed hesitant about getting up. "I…um…I appreciate the offer but I really think I should be getting home." He let out a nervous chuckle that almost resembled that of a hyena's. "I have an important appointment tomorrow with the dentist."
"You can sleep in the guest bedroom and borrow some of Finn's clothes for tomorrow." Burt said in a firm voice. "I really think that it's…beneficial that we all sit down and talk."
Puck sucked in a sharp breath and, from where Kurt was standing, it almost appeared that he was trembling.
"You're—you're not going to kill me are you?" He stood up suddenly with his hands extended forward. "Look, I—I swear, I didn't see, or hear, or…" His eyes immediately fell to Kurt's midsection once more. "—touch anything! I swear I won't say anything! My lips are sealed!" He held up his right hand. "Jew's honor!"
If Kurt had been in a better mood dealing with a different situation he may have laughed at Puck's obscene behavior. Puck stood before them visibly shaken as three, maybe even four if Finn was also looking, watched him quietly. Carole stepped forward and shook her head glaring at Burt out of the corner of her eye.
"You're terrifying him." She scolded turning her head slightly to throw another glare at Burt. "He just confused that's all. Can you blame the poor boy?" She smiled softly as she peered up at Puck who over towered her. "No one is going to lay a finger on you." She assured him. "C'mon, Noah, you know me. You've been coming into my kitchen for years now and eating all of my cookies when you boys," She nodded towards Finn. "had play dates together as boys. I didn't kill you when you spilled that grape juice on my new white carpet and I won't kill you know." She chuckled lightly. "Why don't you come in and at least have a mug of hot cocoa?"
"Carole." Burt said in a voice laced with exhaustion. "We have more pressing matters to deal with. He has to understand that he can't tell—"
Carole held up her hand. "And we will explain." She assured him. "But first we can at least allow him to register everything that's going on. I'm afraid he's about to pass out on us." Her eyes traveled over to Puck who stood there swaying slightly on his feet. "C'mon." Carole said in a soft voice, "Let's everyone go inside. I'm starting to get cold."
Burt merely nodded and started to walk towards the house, Carole behind him with a slow stepping Puck and Finn and Kurt taking up the rear. Kurt's eyes were focused on the ground as he began to walk up the steps when a hand touched his shoulder.
"No." Kurt shrugged him off and tried to keep walking as the hand touched his shoulder once more using a little more force.
"I just want to talk." Finn said softly. "It wasn't what it look li—"
"Don't try to feed me that BS, Finn. I'm not stupid." Kurt said as he inhaled sharply, the cold air burning his throat.
"I didn't say you were." Finn said quietly as he turned Kurt to face him.
Kurt stared down at Finn's shoes not wanting to meet his gaze. He exhaled through his nose as his hands lay at his side in clenched fists. He didn't care if his actions were childish, right now, all he felt was the pain Finn had mentally inflicted upon him.
"Could you please look at me?" Finn sighed as Kurt just shook his head. "Am I allowed to ask you if you're alright?" Kurt's eyes flickered up to Finn's momentarily giving him a scowl as if telling him that was probably a stupid question. "Kurt, you know I would never hurt you. I—I don't even have feelings for Rachel anymore. You should know how she is. Do you seriously not believe that she would just come up and kiss me? You've seen how she's been acting around me lately. Does that surprise—"
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Finn!" Kurt hissed as his eyes brimmed with tears. "And can you really blame me? From where I stood, he sure as hell did look like you two were getting it on!"
"I wasn't getting it on with her!" Finn said raising his voice. "I pushed her away! You saw that!"
"I saw you push her away when you saw me!" spat Kurt.
"Do you want to see my cell phone?" Finn snapped. "I will gladly let you read every message I have ever sent to her if it helps my case!"
"Oh!" Kurt let out an angry laugh. "So you text her too?"
"Dammit, Kurt, you're acting like such a…a…"
"A what, Finn? Come on, spit it out! Tell me what I'm acting like!" He took a step closer his nostrils flaring as he panted. "I'm dying to know!"
"A drama queen!" Finn yelled, as he slammed the side of his fist against the brick column causing Kurt to jump a little in surprise.
"Well…" Kurt said quietly. "I'm glad you think that because I—" He stopped suddenly as he saw the tears running down Finn's cheeks. A pang of guilt hit his heart as he watched silently. Had it been from when he punched the wall or was it because of their fight? "Are you…crying?" He finally asked.
Finn swallowed hard as he turned away. "No." He said in a thick voice. "I'm fine." His voice broke at the last part as his hand came up quickly to wipe away the warm tears. "Just…just got dust in my eye from when I um…hit the bricks."
Kurt bit his lower lip as he took a step closer to Finn. "Oh." He said softly as his eyes met Finn's for a brief moment. He knew that wasn't the case but decided not to press the matter any further. "Maybe we should go inside and get your eyes washed out."
Finn shook his head as he inhaled softly. "I think my eyes are okay now." He said quietly. "But, I do agree with you about the part about going inside…" He paused for a moment as his hand grabbed the door handle. "They're probably waiting for us."
Kurt had forgotten that Puck was here too. A small smile crept across his face as he thought of Puck sitting awkwardly in the living room trying not to meet either Burt's nor Carole's gaze as they all sat around waiting for Finn and him to show up.
"You're probably right." He agreed as he watched Finn open the door. "I just want to get this night over with."
Kurt stepped through the doorway as Finn held the door open for him. He hesitated for a moment trying to collect his thoughts. He was so tired that he was no longer angry or sad just desiring to go lay down.
"Kurt?" Finn's voice broke his thoughts as he turned his head slightly seeing Finn looming over him with a hint of concern on his face. "Are you alright?" He asked softly.
"Hm?" Kurt mumbled blinking a few times. "Yeah, just tired, really tired."
"Maybe you should go to bed." Finn's hand rested on Kurt's shoulder. "I'll tell them where you went off too."
"I'm fine." Kurt put a hand over his mouth in an attempt to suppress a yawn. "Besides," he let out a quiet laugh. "I'm actually slightly concerned my father will dispose of Puck if I'm not there to prevent it."
Finn chuckled softly, "I think my mother would be way ahead of you." His thumb gently rubbed the side of Kurt's shoulder. "You really should go and get some rest; it's not good for you not too."
Kurt nodded his head far too tired to argue at this point. "I'll be in bed if I'm needed." He said quietly as he slid away from Finn's hand and began to walk towards their room.
Finn watched as Kurt walked down the hallway wondering if he should follow. He finally decided not to knowing that it was probably for the best if he'd let Kurt just go lay down and sleep. After watching the hallway for another few moments he shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way towards the living room.
"Where's Kurt?" Burt asked as he looked towards the doorway where Finn stood.
"He went to bed." Finn said walking over to a nearby chair and taking a seat. His eyes fell on Puck who sat opposite him nervously playing with his fingers. "He was really tired."
Carole walked into the room with a tray of steaming mugs and placed it on the coffee table. "Where's Kurt?" She asked as she took a mug into her hands taking a sip.
"Bed." Burt replied gruffly as he took his mug. "Noah," At the mention of his name Puck jumped. "Would you care for some hot cocoa?"
Puck shook his head quickly. "I'm fine." He said quietly. "I'm not thirsty."
Burt cleared his throat before taking a sip of his mug. "It's really good." He said in a rather somber tone, his eyes still fixed on Puck.
Puck hesitated before leaning forward to take a mug. By the tone of Burt's voice he thought it best he be polite and take one.
"Thank you." He said quietly before taking a small sip. "It's really good."
Burt nodded as he set his mug down. "So…you know about Kurt I assume." Puck's Adam's apple bounced as he swallowed hard. He looked away from Burt and nodded his head.
"I...I didn't think something like that was possible." Puck said in a quiet voice. "I dunno, maybe I just didn't pay attention into anatomy." He chuckled weakly, "That would explain the 'D' I got in there."
Burt nodded his head slowly. "If it's any consolation, none of us knew it was possible either." He lifted up his mug again bringing it to his lips. "But only a few of us know about this, Noah." He took a large sip.
"Who else besides you guys?" Puck asked softly leaning forward where he was sitting.
"Mr. Schuester, Ms. Pillsbury, Kurt's doctor, Jo, and now you." Carole said as she too took a sip from her drink. "Noah," She looked into his eyes. "Please, I know you don't owe us anything but we're begging you—you can't tell anyone about this. Please, for Kurt's safety and the privacy of our family."
Puck merely nodded his head and looked down. "As I said before I came inside, your secret is safe with me." He rubbed the toe of his right foot against the carpet.
Carole let out a silent sigh of relief as she settled back in her chair. "Thank you, Noah." She whispered, "I always said you were a good kid, isn't that right, Burt?" Burt nodded his head and grunted in agreement.
Puck gave her a smile. "Thanks, Ms. H." He stretched his arms up into the air and let out a yawn. "Is that all?" he asked curiously not wanting to press them about how this actually happened.
Burt nodded his head. "I assume you know where the guestroom is." Puck nodded his head and scooted to the edge of his chair. "Finn'll get you some clothes for tomorrow."
Puck stood up and inhaled deeply. "Thanks." He said quietly as he walked towards the entrance of the hallway. "Um…" he looked around at the three occupants of the living room. "Good night." With that, he walked off leaving the three alone.
"Well," Carole said standing up. "That went better than I had expected." She walked around the living room and gathered the empty mugs. "We should all retire to bed especially you, Finn." She looked towards her son. "You have glee club tomorrow." She disappeared into the kitchen for a moment and reappeared a few moments later. "Had to put the dishes away." She said sitting back down beside Burt.
Finn nodded his head as he let out a big yawn. "Excuse me." He mumbled looking at them through heavy eyes.
Carole pointed towards the hallway. "Go to bed, Finn." She said softly. "I have enough trouble getting you up in the mornings as it is." She looked at him expectantly as she waited for him to reply only to receive yet another yawn from him.
"Where should I sleep?" He mumbled quietly eyeing the couch silently. He was unsure of if it would be a good idea to sleep in the same room with Kurt right now. After all, he was sure Kurt was still livid with him.
Burt seemed to understand what Finn meant. "You ready for bed, Carole?" He asked standing up. Carole nodded her head as she took his hand standing up with him. "Get some sleep, Finn." He said nodding towards the couch. "We'll see you in the morning."
"Good night." Finn yawned watching as they walked off towards their room. He scratched the back of his head as he eyed the couch once more. It wasn't the largest couch so sleeping on it would not be as comfortable as a bed. He exhaled glancing down the hallway towards Kurt's and his room. He needed to go grab his pillow so he'd at least have some comfort. Quietly, he walked down the hallway and cracked open the door of his room.
What little light from the hallway shone into the room. Finn squinted in the dark making out a figure who appeared to be fast asleep in the bed. Kurt. He tiptoed into the room stopping every so often as the floor groaned, creaking underneath him. His eyes shot up and looked at Kurt worriedly hoping he didn't wake him. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he stood over the bed. His hands gently reached down and retrieved his pillow as he gazed down at Kurt's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful when he slept, no signs of worry or discomfort were etched on his face. Finn moved the pillow underneath one of his arms as he brushed Kurt's bangs out of the way.
"Good night." He whispered softly as he turned to leave. Suddenly a small hand grabbed his wrist. He looked down and saw Kurt's eyes watching him through what little light came in from the hallway.
"Don't go." He whispered as his grip on Finn's wrist tightened. "Please stay."
Finn looked puzzled. "Did I wake you?" Were the first words that came out of his mouth.
Kurt shook his head and inhaled. "Don't leave me." He said softly, his voice sounding farther away as he began to drift back off to sleep.
Finn sat down on the bed beside Kurt. Was it Kurt's exhaustion that made him act like this as if their troubles before had never happened or had Kurt truly forgiven him. Whatever the case was he lay down beside Kurt surprised when the boy snuggled closer to him.
"I'm sorry, Finn..." He breathed slowly as he fought to stay awake. "I never should have doubted you."
Finn rubbed his back gently unsure of what to say. "What do you mean, Kurt?" He finally said his eyes fixed on him.
Kurt mumbled something inaudible before finally losing consciousness all together. Finn held him close as he noted something laying beside Kurt's thigh. Carefully, as not to jostle Kurt, he reached down and retrieved it. It was his cell phone. Hesitantly, Finn hit the talk button and saw there was an opened text message.
From: Rachel Berry
Finn, I'm really sorry about earlier. I don't know what came over me. I should have never kissed you. Please forgive me. I promise never to do it again...unless of course you want to kiss me. Still friends I hope? Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at glee club. Hope you can forgive me.
Haha! That was the LONGEST chapter I have ever written. There you go, now Kurt knows the truth. I'll do my best to update soon. Please review and tell me what you think. Have a great day guys.-Jen