Author Fighters: The Assassin's Guild

Chapter 5: The Tale of Zchazz

"Then, we'll just…" DM suddenly got an idea and smirked, "Guess what I'm thinking."

"Leaving Japan?" Hikari asked.

"Exactly." DM replied.

"I hate planes!" Zchazz growled as he sat down in a seat.

"Really? Ya never told us that." Poz said.

"No reason to." Zchazz muttered.

Tohokari sat down farthest from anyone. Kali sat down next to him.

"Tohokari, are you okay?" she asked.

"I've dedicated my LIFE to killing every ninja I've met and suddenly I'm working with one." Tohokari growled, "How do YOU think I'm doing?"

"But DarkPaladinmon said she's not a complete ninja." Kali said.

"Same difference." Tohokari said, holding up his katana, "It's a centuries-long grudge—samurai protected the feudal lords and ninjas tried to kill them. Lions and hyenas slaughter each other. We don't WANT to, we HAVE to kill each other on sight."

"Tohokari-kun." Hikari said, sitting behind Tohokari, "Why do you hate ninjas so much? I can understand the samurai part, but I doubt another samurai would harbor the same hatred."

"You wouldn't understand." Tohokari said. Hikari instinctively knew that was all she would get out of him.

Glory-Feather sat, cross-legged in his seat. Phoenix sat next to him.

"Cool wind spells you pulled off." Phoenix said.

"It's a common trait among my kind." Glory-Feather replied.

"What do you mean 'kind'?" Phoenix asked.

"Uh-PEOPLE." Glory-Feather corrected.

"GF, you're hiding something, aren't you?" Phoenix asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" Glory-Feather asked, looking out the window.

"I don't like this." Zchazz growled before sliding his window shut.

"Why?" Nukid asked.

"If somethin' goes wrong in a CAR, we're fine. Because we can jump OUT." Zchazz replied, "HERE, if something goes wrong, we're SCREWED."

"Well, if you're so freaked of being screwed, find a way to get your mind off it." Nukid said, "BECAUSE I CAN'T FRIGGIN' STAND YOUR COMPLAINING ANYMORE!"

"Fine." Zchazz growled. A few moments passed before the gunman asked, "You wanna know how I wound up in this group of weirdos?"

"Why?" Nukid asked.

"You told me to get my mind off it." Zchazz shrugged, "So I figured why not. But, be warned. It's a tale of greed, sex, murder, and vengeance." Zchazz then began his tale.

"I come from a long line of Mafia hitmen." Zchazz said, "My grampa, dad, cousin, older brother, and just about every man in my family turned out to be a hitman for some form of mob. So, naturally, I was trained to wield guns. My FIRST one was THIS." Zchazz then pulled out a forty-five caliber revolver. "But, for the record, I hate pistols." Zchazz said, "Machine guns are good, so are shotguns, and revolvers have more stopping power. Pistols are for wusses."

"Hey, I like shotguns and machine guns as much as the next guy!" Ranger shouted, "But pistols can be extremely accurate."

"Hey, lemme see one of those." Zchazz said, snatching one of Ranger's pistols, "You can get hit FIVE FRIGGIN' TIMES with this gun and MAKE IT." Zchazz then held out his Tommy gun and sawed-off shotgun, "You get shot ONCE with either of these…you're DEAD." Zchazz then tossed Ranger's pistol.

"Dang, frickin', no good mother(CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) FREAK." Ranger cursed, "And I hate those blasted censors, too."

"So, as I was sayin', my family had ties with the Mafia." Zchazz continued, "So, I changed my name and fled to Japan."

A teenage Zchazz with a cigarette in his mouth got off a plane.

"I came to this place…to get a new start." Modern Zchazz narrated, "But my guns were practically parts of my body, so I just brought them, too."

Zchazz walked past some security guards, who began frisking him. They immediately felt something and pulled his coat open to show multiple guns. They began reacting and pulled out their guns.

"FREEZE!" they all shouted.

Zchazz's response was to pull out his revolver and sawed-off shotgun. BANG! BANG! BANG! All three guards were dead and Zchazz's guns were smoking like the dead cigarette that fell out of his mouth.

"Barely a day in Japan and ALREADY I was on the run." Zchazz shrugged, "I spent the next couple o' years lookin' after myself and acting as a mercenary. Ironic. I wanted out of the family business and I was in it."

About five years passed. Zchazz, now in his early twenties, knocked on a door. A man answered it.

"Hey there." Zchazz greeted before pulling out his shotgun and firing. The man fell to the floor, dead. Zchazz grabbed the body and hefted it over his shoulder.

A man unzipped a bag to show the man Zchazz just killed.

"Excellent job, Mr. Tsutsu." The man said, eagerly.

"Good. Just gimme my money so I can get outta here." Zchazz said, holding out his hand.

"Do you know that there's a new uprising now that the Yakuza are falling from power?" the man asked, "They call themselves the Kyoukan Shougyoukumiai."

"Assassin Guild, eh?" Zchazz asked as he lit a cigarette, "But info won't pay my bills."

Zchazz held out his hand and the man sighed before handing him a good amount of yen. Zchazz then pocketed his money, took a puff on his cigarette, and then said, "Thank you for the patronage." Zchazz then walked out, but ran, headlong, into a man about a foot taller than him.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN', RUNT!" the man barked.

"Hey, tiny. Where'd YOU come from?" Zchazz asked with a smirk.

"My boss." He replied, "He wants a few words with ya."

The man then pulled out a kanabo and bunted Zchazz in the gut. The force sent the young gunman backwards before crashing into a wall. The impact caused him to go unconscious.

"And then I woke up." Zchazz continued.

Zchazz found himself in a dark room lit by a single lamp. In front of him was Mr. Hirogashi. He held out a piece of paper.

"You're something of an enigma, Mr. Tsutsu-san." He said, "You simply came into existence merely five years ago. Convenient, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm just one of the lucky ones." Zchazz replied before asking, "Not to seem rude, but who the frig are ya?"

"I've gone by many names in my time." Hirogashi replied, "You may simply refer to me as 'Mr. Hirogashi'."

"Okay, Mr. H." Zchazz said, "How'd I get here?"

"I'm afraid my associate, Mr. Assaiki-san, went a bit overboard when I told him to bring you to me." Hirogashi replied.

"Wait," Zchazz said, "Are you the…what was it? Kyo…no, Koyu…"

"The Kyoukan Shougyoukumiai." Hirogashi filled in.

"Yeah, THAT. My last client said somethin' about you." Zchazz said.

"Yes, we are the Kyoukan Shougyoukumiai…or Assassin's Guild, if you will." Hirogashi replied, "We are a…syndicate of deadly people who use our skills for personal gain."

"A crime family, basically?" Zchazz asked.

"In Layman's terms." Hirogashi replied, coolly, "I have seen your skills with firearms and I'm impressed."

"Thanks." Zchazz muttered as he searched for a cigarette due to the fact that his last one had extinguished.

"If you're interested, Tsutsu-san, we have a vacancy." Hirogashi replied, "You merely have to swear your life to me."

"And if I don't?" Zchazz asked, finding a cigarette and placing it in his mouth before searching for his lighter. A clicking noise came from behind him as someone placed the lighter in front of him, lighting the roll of tobacco.

"Then I beat ya to death, runt." It was the man who hit Zchazz with the kanabo—Assaiki.

"Well, given THAT option, tiny…" Zchazz murmured.

"You called a guy who could take your head off 'tiny'?" Nukid asked.

"Knowing YOU, you've done worse." Zchazz shot back.

"So, I was one of the first in the Assassin's Guild." Zchazz said, continuing his story.

Three years later, Zchazz was following Hirogashi through a hallway. His tastes in tobacco had apparently changed as he was now smoking a cigar.

"Do I HAVE to do this, Mr. H?" Zchazz asked, puffing on the cigar.

"Assaiki-san was there when you joined." Hirogashi explained, irritably, "YOU must be here in case they decline."

They entered a room to see younger versions of Sasori, Sogekihei, and Tohokari.

"We hirin' outta high school?" Zchazz asked with a skeptical look over them.

"Silence." Hirogashi simply said. He looked over the four, "Sasori, you are an exceptional martial artist. You killed a rapist in the span of half a second. No one even saw you move." Sasori remained silent, opting to simply nod. "Do you speak?" Hirogashi asked.

"Yes." Sasori replied, curtly.

"You just prefer not to?" Hirogashi asked.

"Obviously." Tohokari muttered.

Unfortunately, it was loud enough to get Hirogashi's attention.

"Tohokari Kotetsu." Hirogashi simply said, "You've become a terror in the ninja world. You kill every single shinobi or kunoichi you come across, is that true?"

"Yeah, it is." Tohokari replied, "They're scumbags. All they do is kill and get paid for it. They have no loyalty."

"You are aware that the age of the samurai is long dead, right kid?" Zchazz asked.

"I know it is, but the spirit of samurai can't die!" Tohokari shot back.

Zchazz snorted with a small chuckle, "I like this kid."

"Excellent. You both shall be great assets." Hirogashi said.

"I can get the kid, but what about the quiet guy?" Zchazz asked.

"Sasori is special." Hirogashi replied, coolly.

"A few seconds later, I found out WHY." Zchazz said.

Zchazz was on the ground, looking winded.

"Wha-what hit me?" Zchazz asked as he staggered up.

"Sasori can move his hands so fast that the human eye can't register it." Hirogashi said, "And the young Sogekihei here has shown interest in firearms."

Hirogashi gestured at a teenage girl with a Desert Eagle pistol in hand.

"Pistols, eh? Those weapons are pathetic." Zchazz muttered.

"If you prefer power over accuracy." Sogekihei replied.

"Considering you both profess in firearms, Mr. Tsutsu shall be in charge of you." Hirogashi said, looking at Sogekihei.

"What?" Zchazz asked, dumbfounded, "I'm gonna be babysitting?"

"With a baby who knows how to use a pistol effectively." Sogekihei said.

"Really?" Zchazz asked. Immediately, Sogekihei brought up her Desert Eagle, aimed it at Zchazz. "HEY! WATCH IT!"

BANG! A bullet blew the cigar out of Zchazz's mouth.

"By the way, smoking's bad for health." Tohokari said.

Zchazz pulled out his cigar before tossing it away. He sighed before storming off.

"During the next few years, Kali, Poz, and Dark Blaze showed up and I taught Sogekihei to be a sniper." Zchazz continued.

Tohokari had his katana out as Zchazz had his sawed-off shotgun in hand and poitning it at a man with an AK-47 in hand.

"Hey, make it easy and just let us blow ya to bits." Zchazz said as he chewed on a toothpick.

"Or cut you to pieces." Tohokari growled.

"Target locked." A voice said from their radio-link.


The man fell to the ground in a heap.

"How's that for sniping?" Sogekihei's voice asked.

"A few minutes sooner would've been nice." Zchazz muttered, "But still, nice job."

"Comin' through!" Poz shouted as he ran through to Kali and Sasori, who had bullets lodged in them, "Laeh, sdnouw tellub!"

A greenish glow came out of Poz's hands as the bullets lodged inside the two martial artists came out and the bleeding holes healed over.

"Thank you, Poz-san." Kali said. Sasori stood up and simply nodded.

"I thought I heard Poz." Sogekihei said, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, the drunk's got it handled." Zchazz answered.

"DRUNK?" Poz shouted, "I'M NOT A DRUNK!"

"Fine, RECOVERING drunk." Zchazz muttered.

"I beg to differ. You still smell as bad as when we found ya in that club." Tohokari replied as he sheathed his swords.

"Are you forgetting someone?" Dark Blaze asked as walked in his hunch-backed, arthritis-moving glory.

"Ah yeah, the guy who blew our way in." Tohokari said.

"It's not easy putting enough Semtex in a way that causes it to blow in one certain direction." Dark Blaze stated.

"Yeah, get some claymores next time." Tohokari muttered, "Let's get outta here."

"But where's this tale of sex, betrayal, and vengeance?" Nukid asked, "I wanted to get that."

"I'm getting to that." Zchazz stated, "Ya see, there was this chick I met a few years ago. Her name was Aiko. I met her when I was celebratin' after a good kill made."

Zchazz staggered out of a bar, dragging and obviously wasted Poz behind him.

"Dangit, why do you claim you're NOT an alcoholic if you're constantly guzzling down every bottle of sake you find?" Zchazz growled as he heaved Poz up to eye-level.

"Hey, dat's a preeeetty ladeeeee." Poz slurred.

"That's it." Zchazz growled, "I'M GONNA..."

"Hey, sheee's loookin' at ya..." Poz slurred again before slumping over, out like...well, a drunk.

"Lousy piece of-"

"Pardon me." A soft, feminine voice said.

Zchazz looked over and immediately his toothpick fell out of his mouth. A woman around his age was standing in front of him. He immediately regained his composure.

"Uh...hi. Not yes, just hi." Zchazz stammered.

The woman smiled at that.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Zchazz. Zchazz Tsutsu." Zchazz replied.

"Tsutsu? You mean a tube?" the woman asked.

"CRAP. I knew that word search was faulty..." Zchazz muttered before saying, "Uh, it's supposed to be the GUN part of it."

"Aiko. Aiko Watanabe." The woman replied, "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, friend." Zchazz replied, pointing to Poz's unconscious form, "He's got a drinking problem."

"Do you need help?" Aiko asked.

"Uh...sure." Zchazz replied.

The two then began dragging Poz away.

"Well, we continued meeting after that." Zchazz continued, "After that, we got a bit closer, if you get my drift."

"Just don't go into details." Phoenix said, "This fic's rated T for a reason."

Zchazz kissed Aiko on the mouth as they slowly entered his apartment. He slid off his jacket to show his tattoos running over his body.

"The longer a guy's in the Assassin's Guild, the more tattoos are added." Zchazz explained, "Aiko didn't know. I just said I had to add more to my tattoos every year for...personal reasons."

"And she never asked WHY?" DW asked.

"My best guess is that they were too busy making out." Glory Feather said with a snicker.

"Shaddup." Zchazz snapped.

Zchazz had Aiko pinned against the bed. He suddenly stiffened. His ears had gotten sensitive over the years and they had picked up on a rifle being loaded...on the next rooftop.

"What's wrong?" Aiko asked.

"We've gotta go." Zchazz said in a low voice, "Keep your voice low."

Zchazz slowly stood up as he grabbed his jacket and walked out, followed by Aiko. However, there was another shot. Aiko slumped over, a bullet in the back of her head. Zchazz looked at this with a look of shock and horror. It then became a scowl as he pulled his jacket back on and pulled out his Tommy Gun. He waltzed to the window.

"HERE I AM! COME AND GET ME!" he barked as he fired in the direction that the bullet came from. He heard a buzzing noise next to his ear and activated, "This had better be good, I'm SERIOUSLY pi-"

"Zchazz, I'm sorry!" came the voice of Sogekihei.

"Sogekihei?" Zchazz asked, "What're you apologizin' for?"

"I'm the sniper." Sogekihei answered. Zchazz felt his body go numb. His submachine gun fell out of his numb hands and hit the ground with a clatter, "I'm sorry! Mr. Hirogashi didn't tell me who it was!"

"Didn't cross your mind to ask, did ya? You just followed what he said?" Zchazz snarled as he grabbed the Tommy Gun and jammed it into his jacket before storming out, "Just hope you're not in my way."

"Zchazz, I-" Zchazz switched off the radio link before storming off.

"I got Tohokari, Kali, and Poz to leave with me and here we are now." Zchazz concluded, "Good-bye, the end. Any questions?"

"Well, you managed to include some filler for an entire chapter, so we're almost there." DarkPaladinmon said.

"Way to kill a trip." DW said, "Just go into a long backstory."

"Just hope the old group doesn't know we're here." Zchazz murmured.

The plane slowed to a halt in the landing pad. The group got out. A bullet flew past Phoenix's head. She wheeled over to see Sogekihei with a Desert Eagle in hand.

"You are so pathetically predictable." Mr. Hirogashi said as he, Sasori, Dark Blaze, and Assaiki appeared. Everyone summed up their feelings in two simple words...

"Oh crap."

Sorry it took so long for me to update this. I was strapped for ideas. But NOW, I've got some that could get us through the story!