Spoilers: Season 5- Takes place sometimes after Brain Storm
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Stargate: Atlantis
A/N: Please leave reviews. They are always welcome.
John watched as Rodney was immersed in something on his computer and snickered to himself as the scientist did not even see him coming. He grinned when at the full cup of coffee next to his friend. Sheppard was using that word loosely these days since the genius made him lose all his hair several weeks ago, which was only starting to look halfway normal. It was time for payback. He had wanted to do something to Rodney while he slept, but that plan was hampered because since his return from Earth, Rodney never spent the night alone. It seemed the two department heads split the nights between their quarters. Even standing right next to him the physicist did not notice him. Perfect. John laughed to himself as he poured half a vial methylene blue into the cup of coffee, "You know having sex every night is not good for you." The rest is for tomorrow.
Rodney had been feeling a dull pain in his lower back since he got up and it was slowly worsening as the day progressed. He whimpered as he tried to rub the pain away, but it was not working, "What?" McKay's narrowed his eyes at John. "Must you be so vulgar?" He snorted at he the mess that was John's hair as it grew back.
"Your back wouldn't be hurting if you two weren't at it every night," he scowled as Rodney laughed at him.
"Oh, please," McKay rolled his eyes. "Just because two people spend the night together does not mean they have sex every night," he sighed. Most nights, but not every night. Last night, yes. The pain in his back was causing Rodney to be a little more cranky than normal. He took a sip of his coffee and looked back at John, fighting not to laugh, "I think it is growing in just right."
John made a rude gesture, "Laugh it up, McKay. Your time is coming. You are lucky that you don't sleep alone."
Rodney narrowed his eyes, "Your comment was way out of line. I still think you are just jealous."
"Jealous?" John laughed. "Intrigued is more like it. I expected you to come back and be whining about working up the nerve to ask her on a second date."
"Instead we came back a couple," he smirked, liking the way that sounded. "Aren't you supposed to still me mad at me?"
"I am," he pointed at Rodney. "But it has been too quiet without you."
"Okay, that is a bit creepy," the scientist eyed the colonel carefully. "Too quiet without me…oh, you are messing with me." Rodney took a long sip from his cup.
John shrugged, "Maybe a little." He was still ticked at Rodney, but he would never be able to stay too mad for long. John saw the other man as a brother; more of a brother than his biological one. And what siblings did not pull pranks on one another from time to time? "Are you free for lunch?"
He shook his head, "No. Lunch date with Jennifer. Sorry." Rodney shrugged.
"Come on, dude… pass on lunch with the girlfriend. Ronan doesn't want to race RCs with me on the east pier."
"Um, let me think," Rodney paused for a second, "No!"
"You are no fun," John rolled his eyes. "You were never like this with Katie. You always had time for lunch with me."
"Ugh," the scientist sighed. "Why do you have to bring her up?"
"Because you almost proposed to her?"
"But I didn't," Rodney growled. He really did not want to bring up his ex.
John smirked, "Going to marry this one?" He wanted to pick on his friend a little longer and to see if his prank was going to work.
"I don't know...maybe...probably," he said not looking up from his work, taking another sip of his coffee.
The colonel pointed to the cup of coffee, "How many is that this morning?"
"Six. No, seven."
"And you haven't moved from this lab all morning?" John asked.
Rodney turned to face the man that was full of questions, "What kind of question is that? Are you bored? Is that why you are bothering me?"
"Why are we so cranky?" John asked as he picked up a round object that was next to Rodney's computer.
"Because I am busy and you are bothering me," Rodney looked up and lunged for the object that the military man was tossing back and forth between his hands. "Hey, put that down."
"What does it do?" Sheppard looked at device and shrugged.
The scientist narrowed his eyes, "That is what I am trying to figure out. I don't want you to blow us both up. So put it down." Rodney turned around, "Be right back."
"Where are you going?" John asked.
"Seven cups of coffee. Where do you think I am going?" This would make it the fifth time Rodney had made a trip to the bathroom.
John smirked to himself and wondered how long it would take McKay to complain about the color of his urine.
Rodney returned a minute later, slightly wincing. Great now it's blue and it burns every time I go. Normally he would have run straight to the infirmary to get it checked out, but now that he was seeing Jennifer he was embarrassed to see her for these symptoms.
"Everything come out alright?" Sheppard asked.
"What?" the physicist turned his head. "Why are you asking that? You really need to find something to do."
John pouted, "Beers after dinner on the north pier?" He really did missing spending time with the Canadian.
Rodney looked at his watch, "We'll see. Got to meet Jennifer now." He rushed out of his lab, not wanting to be distracted.
Rodney knew the only time he could be examined in the infirmary and not have a chance of Jennifer walking in was when she was asleep. He carefully untangled himself from the woman, trying not to disturb her. The physicist stood next to the bed for several seconds to make sure she did not stir and when she did not, Rodney quickly left the room. He hoped to be back before she would notice his absence.
McKay was glad to see that one of the male doctors was on call, but he could not quite place the name: Atom...Adama. Adams, that was it. "I've been having lower back pain all day, it burns when I urinate and it has been a blue since around lunchtime."
The physician looked up as Rodney rambled off a list of symptoms. The last symptom struck him as odd, "What is blue?"
Rodney sighed, rolling his eyes, "My urine. Haven't you been listening?"
Adams reached for a specimen jar, "I am going to need a sample before I examine you."
"Fine," the scientist grabbed the jar and headed to the bathroom. "See still blue and burns like fire," Rodney handed over the cup.
"Have you ingested anything with dyes recently," the medical doctor eyed the cup.
"No. Only had coffee and several fruit cups before it changed colors. Haven't eaten anything I haven't had before," McKay made a face. He was still uncomfortable with the situation. "I've had kidney stones before. Could it be an infection?"
"Do you have a fever?" Adams tried to guide the other man to one of the exam tables.
"No," Rodney shook his head and jumped on the table, wincing at the pain in his back.
"How bad is the pain in your back?"
He thought for a moment, "On a scale of one to ten; it would be a six."
The doctor agreed, thinking his symptoms sounded like they could be a kidney or bladder infection, but the blue urine was puzzling. Adams lifted up the back of Rodney's shirt to check the tender spots when he noticed an egg shaped bruise in the middle of his lower back, "Did you injure your back recently?"
"No." Rodney replied.
"You have a bruise right here," the physician touched the area of the bruise.
"I did not have one this morning," the physicist was confused and winced when the area was touched.
Adams shrugged, "It could have taken several hours for the bruise to surface."
That rang a bell for Rodney, "Oh...I might have hit my back last night." He realized Sheppard might have been right with his comment about sex every night was not good for him as he vaguely recalled hitting his back against the faucet in the tub when he was with Jennifer.
The doctor started to think this was not an infection since the back pain had a obvious cause, but he was not going to rule it out. It struck Adams that is was odd that the physicist was seeking treatment in the middle of the night when it was no secret that he was involved with the chief medical officer. He wondered if Rodney was keeping something from his girlfriend, "Might have?" he asked in regards to the back injury.
"Um...yeah. Small shower related accident," Rodney's ears turned pink.
"Okay," the male physician replied. "I need to draw some blood to rule out an infection. I will have the results to you by lunchtime."
Jennifer was working in the infirmary, reviewing test results when she came across a specimen jar with blue urine, "Haven't seen that in a long time." She started to laugh until she saw who the sample came from and the time it was collected. Rodney had been sleeping next to her when she fell asleep and he was still there when she woke up; so she wondered why he did not wake her. Concerned, the doctor pulled up his chart to see what his symptoms were. Painful urination, blue urine, lower back pain caused by contusion-shower accident, no fever.
She sighed as she thought about the one symptom they had in common: painful urination. Jennifer had run tests on herself yesterday to rule out an infection, which it did. With the knowledge that both of them were suffering the same ailment Jennifer figured it had to be caused by something that both of them were exposed to. The physician tried to run a list of possible causes until her eyes glanced over at Rodney's chart and saw the back contusion and that is when she had it. She dashed out of the infirmary, heading to Rodney's lab, but first making a stop to her room to pick up the offending item.
John quietly crept into his friend's lab, glad to see it empty except for McKay's coffee cup sitting next to his computer. The cup was full and Rodney nowhere to be seen. Perfect. Sheppard began to pour the rest of the vial into the cup when he heard someone clear their throat.
"You are so busted, Sheppard." Jennifer glared from the entrance of the lab.
He tried to pretend that he was not doing anything, "What do you mean?" John tried to hide the vial behind his back, but was not doing a good job of it. "What do you have in your hand?" he pointed to the bottle the female was holding.
Keller was not having any of it, "What is it? Methylene blue?"
John frowned. Of course she would know what it was, "How'd you guess?"
"Old med school prank. Seen it done plenty of times. Revenge for the hair?" Jennifer laughed as she pointed to his head.
The colonel felt self-conscious as she laughed at him, "Of course. Are you going to tell him?"
She gave the man a hard stare, "Yes. You mess with Rodney. You mess with me." There was a menacing tone to her threat.
John eyes widened at her threat. This was a new side of the doctor and it worried him as he could only imagined what the two geniuses could come up with together.
Rodney returned to his lab to see his friend and girlfriend in a staring contest. He cleared his throat, "What is going on here?"
Sheppard shook his head, "Nothing. See you later. We have a mission briefing at sixteen hundred." John left the lab without another word.
The physicist was confused at the tension he felt between them, "What did I just walk in on?" Rodney reached for his coffee, but his hand was slapped away. "What gives?" He massaged his hand.
"The reason you were peeing blue," she reached for the cup and threw its contents in the trash. "John was putting methylene blue in your coffee."
McKay scowled, "He did threaten me yesterday. How did you know?"
"Saw the sample you left last night and then read your chart. How come you did not say anything?" Jennifer's face softened out of concern.
Rodney looked down, feeling ashamed, "I was embarrassed. Didn't want you to think I had some contagious disease."
She shook her head and picked his chin up, "If you had said something I could have figured it out sooner."
"Figured what out?"
Jennifer put the bottled of bubble bath on the table, "That this is what was causing our pain."
Rodney looked at the bottle and then at her, "Our pain? You mean you too?"
She nodded, "It must have something we are both allergic to in it."
The scientist looked the bottle over, "How did you figure it was the bubble bath?"
"Reading you had a bruise on your back. I figured you had to get it when we were in the tub and since we were in there quite a while..."
Rodney started to laugh, "I get it...So what are we going to do about Sheppard?"
Jennifer leaned on the table and looked her boyfriend over, "I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something."