AN: This story was written for a Freshman high school paper, originally turned in on February 3, 2006.
Title: To Wish or Not to Wish
"I'm telling you it isn't!"
"And I'M telling you it is!"
It was a typical day in the Stevens's house. At least, as typical as you'll get if the female head of house is a witch. Darrin, Samantha's all-American, all-mortal business-class husband, and Endora, Samantha's witchcraft-loving, Darrin-hating mother, were at it again. This time, the argument was over whether or not being a witch was a benefit.
'You don't need witchcraft to live a happy, decent life! If something's too far away from you, all you have to do is walk over and get it," Darrin explained.
"Yes, but it's always much easier to wish it over to yourself," Endora shot back.
"You don't get any exercise that way. Plus you become so accustomed to it, you get spoiled, much like somebody I know!" exclaimed Darrin, looking Endora square in the eye.
"Oh Darwin, you're such a bother," came Endora's reply.
"For the last time, the name is Darrin, not Darwin! D-A-R-R-I-N," corrected Darrin.
"Darrin! Mother! Really, there's no need for fighting. I believe I'll find out for myself which of you is right," Samantha steadily answered.
"Before anybody could stop her, Samantha chanted an old spell, one rarely used and even less rarely succeeded in.
Over the Sea, Under the Sky
Make my witchcraft powers fly
Witches do as Witches see
Mortals do as Mortals be!
A yellow-blinding light, then a purple-blowing wind. All of this overtook the house until Samantha, golden-haired as ever, looked in the hall mirror and found the spell had worked: she had, in fact, become a mortal. Just to make sure, she tried twitching her nose at a chair she wanted to sit in, and with great delight found that it didn't budge.
Samantha, happier than ever, told her husband, "Oh Darrin, isn't it wonderful? We'll be able to have a normal marriage now, no witchcraft, just the way you always wanted it."
With those words, Endora left in a huff. However, the very next day, Endora popped in while Samantha was out shopping.
"I'll teach Samantha that witchcraft is essential to living," thought Endora. "I'll just send what's-his-name someplace far away, say… Alaska!"
A quick incantation later, and Darrin was surrounded by a colony of seals, freezing in his pajamas, for it was a Saturday and he had been sleeping late. Muttering to himself, he thought, "Not again."
Two hours later, Samantha returned to find a very empty house and a very pleased mother. She begged her mother to tell her where her husband had gone, but Endora just shook her head and replied that she didn't know. Peering behind her back, Samantha found a spell book opened to the page "Traveling Spells: A." Her face turned red, her voice was raised, and her hands seemed to do the talking for her.
Meanwhile, blinded by a snowstorm, Darrin had found his way to a small Eskimo settlement. After being threatened with spears, Darrin explained, to the best of his ability, that he had been on a North Pole expedition when his ship had hit an iceberg and that he was the sole survivor of the team. He didn't dare tell them that he had been sent there by his pesky mother-in-law!
Samantha pleaded. Endora refused. Darrin grew accustomed. He began dressing in polar bear fur-lined jackets and spending his nights dozing in a sleeping bad without complaint. It was only after he realized that he preferred caribou to a well-cooked steak that he noticed how long he had been gone, and how much he missed home. He was even anxious to see Endora again!
Finally, on the fourth day and after Darrin had seriously considered practicing for the Iditarod, Endora consented to bring him home, believing Samantha has learned her lesson.
"You know, I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see a real roof over my head again," were Darrin's first words. "It's good to be home."
"It's good to have you home too, dear," Samantha lovingly said as she warmly embraced her previously departed husband.
"As for you, Endora," Darrin threateningly remarked as he began taking off his fur jacket, "For once in my life, I believe you were right. You definitely don't need witchcraft in our good country, but I certainly wouldn't have minded being a warlock in Alaska!" Darrin said in agreement.
"I'm glad that you learned your lesson, Darrin. Samantha?" Endora asked.
She had learned it also. With this, Endora chanted the mantra that would turn Samantha back into her normal self:
Mortals do as Mortals see
But Witches do as Witches be
Return my daughter's self to she
And let it remain there, eternally!
A purple-blinding light, then a yellow-blowing wind. The house became saturated in it, and when it parted, Samantha stood dressed in a black witch's dress and hat. After a quick twitch, Samantha changed to her everyday green dress.
"That is, if the lesson was never wishing to be mortal while YOU'RE around," Samantha pointed to Endora. "I'm sorry I couldn't rescue you earlier, but she just wouldn't budge. That lesson I learned very well."
"Oh, you're impossible!" and with that, Endora was gone.
The young couple stood standing close by, looking at the spot where their relative had been previously standing. Turning to each other, they embraced in a passionate hug.