Title: All the Good Ones...
Rating: T (for now)
Author: Trista Groulx (dustytiger)
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters I just take them out play then return to all the lovely people who bring them to life each week.
Summary: After Prentiss has a few drinks she finds herself at a bar with Reid complaining about how men suck.
Notes: After that whole Mick convo with girls I thought boo no! She can't be with Mick. I started the first little bit and wasn't sure where I was going to take this. Then my friend (Not A Droid) began to feed another plot bunny of mine so I decided to just end this one with some bow-chicka-wow-wow and be done with it. Part three is going to M so you are warned.
I have a crazy idea for a Reid/Garcia fic that is getting crazier by the day so stay tuned for that. In the mean time enjoy some boy bashing, that turns into eventual smut.
The strangely tasty green sauce alluded to in this part is cusabi sauce that my fave local awesome food pub offers it's cucumber wasabi sauce and it's great with deep friend pickles.
I am not sure how expensive beer is in the states so I hope that I didn't mess that part up. And I figure if I can drink eight Canadian craft brewed beer in a night, Prentiss can handle twelve of the American swill (no offense I'm a beer snob).
The title is from a phrase I use a lot (that and "boys suck and kind of smell" from Happy Bunny) "all the good ones are gay, dead or taken".


Emily Prentiss took another swig of her beer, as Spencer Reid watched helplessly. He dipped his deep fried pickles in the strangely tasty green sauce the Prentiss had promised was to die for, and she was right. He had order more to munch on while she drank. The rest of the team had left already, but Reid knew he needed to stay with her. There was something wrong with her, and he wanted to help. He had never seen Prentiss like that before she'd usually have a few beer or a few glasses of wine and be done with it.

"Is something bothering you, Emily?" Reid asked.

"You're so perceptive Doctor Reid," she half laughed, her words slurring slightly.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"With you?"

"There is no one else here. I suppose I could call Garcia and see if she could come back," he offered.

"She would come back and hurt us both if you did that. She got to take Morgan home. But maybe you can answer a question for me."

"All right you're right, I'll try to answer your question."

"Why do all men suck?"

"Excuse me?" asked Reid.

"You heard me, why do all men suck? Make me want to become an unsub suck!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Men! I am talking about how all the men that I know are scum sucking sacks of shit!" She took a gulp of her beer. "Either they all suck or attract the biggest losers in the world!"

"You're a very attractive woman I'm fairly certain that you can attract all types of men, but you might choose to go after a certain kind."

Prentiss sighed, wishing that just once Reid would act less like a genius and more like a friend. Although she knew deep down inside that he was right she just took another sip of the beer in front of her. She was trying not to be mad at him for saying what was on his mind. That was who Spencer Reid was.

"Are you trying to tell me that it's my own fault that I date dicks?" she asked.

"No, not at all," he stammered. "I'm sorry what I mean was that you said yourself that Mick Rawson was an over-sexed, conceded, ego manic, yet you chose to date him."

"It's not like there are that many options. There are not many good guys left, they are all dead, gay, or taken."

"Then if they are taken why can't you get one for yourself?"

"It's not that easy to date with our job," she sighed. "You know what our schedule is like, at least Mick understood that."

"If he really loves you he'll love your career too."

"You sound like a romance novelist!"

"I'm trying to be positive. You're a smart and beautiful I don't understand why you couldn't find a good man."

Prentiss laughed, and was drinking her beer more quickly. "It's sweet that you think that way, but guys like you don't just drop out of trees, Reid."

"I suppose not, but I'm very much alive, and I'm neither gay nor taken either."

"All right, fair enough you wouldn't want a screw up like me."

Prentiss went to stand up to get the bartender's attention. If Reid hadn't taken her arm she would have fallen off the barstool. She pointed at the empty bottle in front of her, and the bartender shook his head.

"You've had enough for tonight," he said.

"Excuse me!" Prentiss demanded. "You don't know me! You don't know what I can handle and what I can't!"

"You have proven my point. Do you need me to call you a cab?"

"I'll drive her home," Reid assured the bartender.

Reid took three twenties out of his wallet and left them on the bar. The bartender nodded and walked over to another patron. He put his arm around Prentiss' middle in order to steady her as they walked to his beat up old car. He wanted to fix it up, but he didn't have time. He helped Prentiss into the vehicle and began toward home.

"Can you believe that guy?" she snapped. "You're a woman and you have twelve beer and suddenly she's had too much and he can't serve her any more. If a man had twelve drinks buddy who probably can't get it up would think he was some kind of macho hero! That's what I hate about men! Sometimes I think that it would be easier to bat for the other team, but then I realise that women are bitchy and catty and I so can't deal with that crap!"

"I know you're upset right now, but you did have trouble standing, that's his job. It's illegal to over serve you, you know that. You'll find a good person, Emily. You just need to trust your instincts. You're a profiler. If you think a guy is going to be bad news before you start to date him, you're right about it."

"I know. You wanna know the worst part Reid?"

"Do I?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "The sex was horrible! Absolutely the worst sex of my life! Honestly for a guy who claims to have had a lot of sex he couldn't even figure out which hole to stick it in! You would think he would get a clue when I stopped faking, but, no he never got it! Then he would be all like; 'oh, Emmy, sweet thing, that was good, babe, you're a real machine.'" She explained in a fake British accent.

"I'm sorry?" Reid offered.

"What are you apologising for you're one of the good ones Doctor Reid. You really are. There are not a lot of good ones out there, but you are defiantly one of them. I bet you know exactly how to make a woman's toes curl!"

"I suppose I've never gotten any complaints in that department," Reid reasoned, glad that the darkness of the night hid his red cheeks.

"Wait, wait, I thought you were one of the good ones? Why are we going to your place?"

"It's closer, and I don't want you to be sick in my car, nor do I want you to be aloe right now."

"All right, isn't there a part of you that wants to seduce me?"

"I would never take advantage of you, Emily."

He pulled up to his apartment complex. He parked the car, he then went around to open the door for her. Prentiss smiled and let him help her from the car, suddenly feeling the effects of the drinks she had had. He again put his arm around her to help her inside. He brought her straight to his room.

"You are trying to seduce me!" she giggled.

"No, the bathroom is right in there," he pointed to a door. "I'm going to be on the couch. There are clean towels if you want to take a shower."

"Thank you Reid."

He was looking through his dresser, and took a few items out. There was a t-shit, hoodie, shorts and sweat pants which all had various university logos on them. He also took out an old ratty pair of sweat pants he liked to sleep in. He handed Prentiss the items that were in better shape.

"You can wear any of these, they should fit you," he told her handing her the items.

"You think of everything," she laughed.

"I almost forgot there is a new toothbrush in the medicine chest."

"You are more of a ladies' man that you let on Spencer Reid." She joked fluffing his hair playfully. "I'm pretty sure that Morgan isn't even sly enough to keep clean toothbrushes around."

"It has nothing to do with that. I like to have a new one just in case I get a cold."

"You are too cute Reid, thank you for making sure I have everything I'll need tonight."

"There's also a few robes in my closet if you'd like to wear one."

"I'm going take a shower and then go to sleep."

"All right goodnight Emily."

"Goodnight, sleep well and sweet dreams." Prentiss smiled and watching leave the room. Wait a second Reid!"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I wanted to say thank you." She touched his now short hair again then let her hand rest on his cheek. "And I like your new hair even if I didn't say anything at first. It suits you."

He blushed a little. "I'll be in the other room if you need me."

Prentiss was surprised that he had gone into the other room, but she was glad that he was being such a gentleman. She then went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. She smiled as she pulled on the shorts and t-shirt he'd lent her, thinking about how she smelled like Reid. She thought that it was strangely comforting to be surrounded by the unique smell of Reid as she climbed into his bed. She smiled realising that his bed was very comfortable. She fell asleep almost right away.

End Part 1

Notes: This will get more juicy I promise. I hope you enjoy this little trip down Prentiss/Reid lane hehe ps I hope you didn't like Mick haha