A/N I could not have done this without Dave and Joe. I wanted to do this story, but I am not sure if I could have put it out there without there insights. I wanted to stay as true to the characters as possible.
I also want to thank the entire fan fiction community. It is a joy to be involved in this. NE71 Thanks again. Rockchick4jc did a great beta on the first draft of this.
PJ Murphy finished up and made the story better. He did this while writing a story and a 1 shot.
3 Weddings, a Funeral, 2 Retirements, & a Birthday is worth more than a look.
AgentChuckles and Supesfancame really close to figuring it out. Thanks for the reviews. Thanks to all of you who reviewed.
I know some dont like a/notes, but please induldge me a secon longer
This last chapter is a late anniversary gift to lovely wife of 15 years. Not only is she my best friend, well she is just about everything to me. There is a section in here written for her, just Chuckafied. This maybe the closest I ever come to standing on a building in a crowded street shouting, I LOVE YOU.
Sarah had a strange, sad look on her face. But through the anguish and sorrow, there were so many parts of the story that did not make sense. First and foremost: what message?
"I never got a text from him. What did it say again?"
"I Love You. Remember the room at Comic Con," Beckman quickly replied.
As Sarah heard this horrible story, a thought started to appear in her mind. It was a small candle in a huge warehouse. It slowly became brighter and brighter until the feeling burst out of her and caught General Beckman off-guard.
"Stop! Stop right now!"
Sarah looked directly at Diane and saw her eyes. Suddenly, she noticed that now-familiar twinkle in them. The candle was now a raging inferno. It HAD to be.
"Why wasn't I told?" she asked, not knowing what she was feeling, but she was definitely feeling something.
She remembered that night at Comic Con as if it just happened. Chuck had finally wore her down, and they went as Mal and Inara from Firefly. They had a great time at the convention. Chuck could not wait to see the panels, and Sarah got so much joy in seeing Chuck acting like he was a kid in a candy store. They had a nice dinner and were in their room. Sarah started to take off her costume, but Chuck stopped her.
"Please wait, Sarah. I want to do something," Chuck said to her with that cute, boyish charm.
"Chuck, I am not sure if I want to go that far into a fantasy tonight," Sarah replied with a raised eyebrow.
Chuck laughed. "It's not that. I have something else in mind."
Chuck took a step closer and was only inches from her. His voice got a little deeper.
"Do you trust me?"
Sarah began to answer but Chuck's right index finger raised up and ever so gently touched Sarah's lips.
"I mean, do you trust me to always be there for you and believe me when I say that I will never leave you?" All Sarah could do was nod her head up and down.
"Sarah I wanted to keep this on because we always seem to have disguises on, and I thought it would be fitting that we would be wearing one when I try and give you this."
Chuck slowly sank to one knee and raised his left hand up.
"Will you be Mrs Bartowski?"
Diane Beckman looked into Sarah's eyes. She felt a tinge of guilt for what she did to Sarah. "Was it the Battlestar Galactica reference that gave it away? I thought it might. Agent Thomas and Chuck just won't shut up about that show."
Sarah didn't know if she was more mad at Beckman for laughing at her or for not telling her Chuck was alive.
"Why wasn't I told?" Sarah repeated her earlier question.
Sarah has seen many things, but when she saw the head of the NSA blush like a schoolgirl, she had seen it all.
"I hope that you can forgive me, Sarah, but it was my maternal instincts. Months ago, I took the time to do some of my own spy work. Ellie will never be able to have kids. Your baby is the last of the Johnston family line."
Beckman looked close to tears as she looked away from Sarah. Beckman looked at the pictures on the mantle, as she always did to derive a sense of strength and resolve. "I did not want you to lose the baby over this."
Sarah was growing frustrated. This was becoming too much. "Where is he? Where is my husband? You're about to lose the calm, maternal Sarah to the angry, hellfire Agent Walker."
"We had to sedate him." replied Beckman.
The anger boiling inside of her was snuffed out in an instant. She could barely get the words out. "Is he OK?"
"He's fine. He's been here for six hours, but we were forced to sedate him. We thought he might have a breakdown because he couldn't talk to you."
Sarah's relief was evident when she heard Beckman say this. Sarah took in a breath. She closed her eyes for a second and felt peace for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Maybe, just maybe, you can live happily ever after.
Sarah slowly nodded and smiled, the first real smile she felt in a long time. Sarah looked around the room. All of a sudden the colors in everything went from pale to completely vibrant. That's when it hit her. It was almost hard to say. The words came out as a church whisper.
Beckman nodded her head slowly and even managed to have a smirk. "For a high-ranking intelligence officer, you need to be quicker. Go through the kitchen, turn left, and he's in the room on the right."
Sarah shot up was about to make a dash for his door, but Beckman stopped her. "The doctor told me he should be awake in 5 or 10 minutes. Sarah, I have to go, but I will see you tomorrow."
All Sarah could do is nod slowly.
She turned and walked gingerly towards the kitchen. Her legs felt like she ran ten miles today, and her face felt like she rubbed pepper onto it. For a moment, she realized how horrible she must have looked.
She saw the door to the bedroom. She stopped in front of it and grabbed her hair to try and undo her ponytail. It doesn't matter, she said to herself. Letting go of her hair, Sarah Bartowski grabbed the doorknob and pulled open the door to where her husband was sleeping.
Sarah's first reaction to the room was surprise. Even though she had never been in this home before, the furnishings looked familiar. After a couple of seconds she realized it was almost identical to the room that Chuck and Sarah slept in when they were on the mission in the suburbs. At least it did in the dark. Only fifteen feet away lay her husband, the man she had thought...
She knew that breathing, who it was, and where was it coming from. There in the corner stood Colonel John Casey. And he was smiling at her.
Casey crossed the room to Sarah, and she was caught up in a huge bear hug. Sarah could not believe it. She had been partners with John Casey for 5 years, and he NEVER hugged her. In fact, Sarah thought to herself, if I am not mistaken there is even a little moisture on my neck.
John stepped away from her. His voice was subdued, "I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you. Chuckles over there got the bright idea when we found out that he couldn't keep you safe."
Casey let out a small cough before he continued. "I got there just in time to see him play chicken with a semi. When we got here I just couldn't handle the pacing, the pleading, and well …. him. So I tranqed him."
Sarah knew better. She grinned and lunged at Casey, wrapping her arms around his neck, which required leaping onto him to negate the eight-inch difference in height.
"Thank you for bringing him back. For letting me keep my life," she said softly into his ear as she squeezed him tightly.
With a mild growl of annoyance, Casey gently extracted her from around him and lowered her back to the ground. He left the room grunting something about 'lady feelings.'
Now it was just Chuck and her. No, she thought to herself. Chuck, me, and this little baby inside me.
She gazed at him and could feel the warmth surround her. This wonderful man kept his promise. A promise she thought he did not keep. For the first time since she saw Casey walk up to her that afternoon a week ago, she felt happy.
Sarah had stopped listening to Nina Simone's Feeling Good because it depressed her, but now it was time for her to be home. It was time for her to finally relax. She slowly climbed into bed and lay next to Chuck. She pressed her entire body into him. She intertwined her fingers through his, and she put her head on his shoulder. She tensed when she felt Chuck take in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, returning to his normal breathing pattern. Sarah squeezed him tighter and fell asleep.
Fifteen minutes later Chuck Bartowski opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like a long time. The last thing he remembered was feeling a pinprick in the back of his shoulder. Thinking back, it reminded him of a tranq dart. With the taste in his mouth and the grogginess he was feeling, Chuck knew his instincts were right.
"Dammit Casey, I was just going to get into the surveillance van to make sure Sarah was OK. She must have been wo..." Chuck stopped in mid-complaint when he realized something didn't feel right.
Why is my arm asleep? Chuck looked to see the cause.
Why does that always happen when I'm tranqued? Great. First, I'm tranqued, and then my wife is making my arm fall asleep by lying on...
Chuck looked down to make sure he wasn't dreaming. The love of his life was lying on her side hugging his arm like it was her teddy bear. She looked so beautiful. He was having trouble remembering why he was surprised she was there. Then he remembered last week. The car chase on the freeway, the frantic calls to Casey. Praying he didn't crash before the Intersect 2.0 kicked in, which allowed him to survive.
The worst part was having his wife, the mother of his child, suffer this past week. He knew it was the right decision, but it was the hardest week of his life. He almost made the ultimate sacrifice, and yet he survived. He left behind Ellie, Devon, Morgan, and so many others. But Sarah and his child were safe.
Chuck could count the number of times he had cried as an adult on one hand and leave fingers to spare. It just wasn't his way. That's what Ellie did. He shed a tear of joy during his wedding, But whenever something bad happened, he just turned into a zombie and stared. But for some reason, the waterworks came and just wouldn't stop. He did not want to disturb the angel beside him, so he just lay there and let the tears fall from his face. It took him considerable effort to steady his breathing so as not to wake her.
He thought a storm might be coming. He knew this was the plan they organized as a contingency had this situation ever decided to rear its ugly head, but he never liked it. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her this past week to let her know he was OK, but he couldn't. To do so would have made his 'death' a waste and put everything he knew in danger. Of course, that didn't alleviate the fact that she was going to be PISSED. He just hoped she would forgive him. At the very least he has these few minutes where he could take in his beloved Sarah sleeping. Content just to be by her, it always amazed him how lucky he truly was.
When Sarah woke up a short time later, she knew for certain where she was, and she knew she was content. Relaxed. Complete. She slowly looked at Chuck. When their eyes met they just stared at each other for a few seconds, neither wanting to say anything, not knowing what would happen when this moment ended.
Unfortunately, Chuck had to be the one to end it. "I'm sorry, but I need to use the little boys' room." Sarah moved out of the way immediately as Chuck headed for the bathroom.
He finished and splashed water on his face. He stared at his own image in the mirror. If he was honest with himself, he knew he caused his best friend pain. He had let his wife down.
He wasn't sure when it had happened, but somehow the guy who almost always said what he felt failed to do so at the worst possible time. In trying to save his wife and child, he almost caused them permanent heartache. To make matters worse, he didn't know how to talk to her about it.
Well, it's time to man up, he thought as he felt determination begin to course through him. Suddenly he grinned. I wonder what Casey would think if he heard me say that.
Chuck walked out of the bathroom and he saw Sarah on her cell phone. Before she hung up all he heard was "I gotta go. Thanks. I owe you a big one."
She hung up the phone and looked at Chuck. "How do you feel?"
"I'm still a little groggy, but I woke up really well," Chuck answered with the biggest smile he could muster.
Sarah smiled shyly at Chuck, and slowly he could see her face turn to complete determination.
"What happened, Chuck?" She asked slowly and as evenly as she could.
"When I found out that my identity was on the grid, I was on the phone with Casey. There was at least two different groups trying to make a move. I had to do something, and there was no way I was going to endanger my family. Sarah, I am so sorry I screwed things up."
Sarah had to struggle not to laugh. It had been a long time since she saw Chuck talking like he had his hand stuck in a cookie jar. Even though she had days where she was happier with him, he was still Chuck. He was still her Chuck.
Sarah walked to him and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down until his head rested on her shoulder. She could feel Chuck shaking, She held on to him for several moments.
"It's OK, Chuck," she said softly into his ear. "Beckman told me. I just wanted to hear it from you."
Chuck straightened up and looked at Sarah. "How are the two of you feeling?"
Sarah smiled. "It's amazing what sleeping next to your husband will do."
Chuck smiled slowly and moved towards Sarah again. He felt so much relief. He had to kiss her. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, he felt her leg behind his, and pressure on his chest. The next thing he knew, he hit the floor hard. Sarah stood over him with one leg on each side of his waist, and her face was contorted with an extremely vicious look.
"Charles Irving Bartowski, If you EVER try and pull a stunt like that again, you won't need to worry about someone you don't know killing you. You got it?"
All Chuck could do was nod his head. Sarah's expression quickly turned to one of love and passion. She dropped to the floor, lying on top of him, and kissed him as hard as she could. After a few moments, they finally separated so they could actually breathe. Chuck was about to say something, but he gazed into Sarah's sapphire eyes and knew this was not the time for words.
"I know. Shut up and kiss you."
Sometime later, Sarah was again lying on her side with her head on Chuck's chest. She looked around and saw the clothes scattered around them.
"I don't know about you, but I am getting a little hungry."
Chuck looked at her and smiled. "Let's go see whats on the menu."
"Don't you think we should get dressed first?"
"I don't know," Chuck said with a bit of an impish grin. "I saw agent Thomas on the security detail. I think he likes me."
"Yeah, I'm sure his wife and three kids would love to hear that," Sarah smirked.
They entered the kitchen holding hands, Chuck saw a portable radio next to several grocery bags. Before he could see what was in them, Sarah stepped in front of him and told him to sit down. Chuck sat down with a strange look on his face.
"Do you know something I don't?" he asked.
Sarah opened the bag, looked at him, and smiled. He could see a glow about her that made him proud and extremely happy at the same time.
"Yep," was her answer.
Chuck was confused until she took the first item out of the bag. When he saw it he smiled knowingly. "Pancakes!"
"You know it," was the reply. When Sarah turned toward the stove, he got up. Walking to her, he placed his arms around her waist, giving her a squeeze, as he held her tight. Sarah tilted her head back to rest it on his shoulder.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear.
Sarah turned around and looked into his puppy-dog brown eyes. "I love you, too."
Cooking took almost no time at all. In fact, over the years it had become something they both loved to do, although those first few months had been very interesting.
After they began to eat, Chuck got curious. "So did you figure out what really happened?"
Sarah smiled. "Yeah, but Beckman threw an easy way to find the answer. There was no way she had ever seen Battlestar Galactica."
Sarah looked at Chuck, wondering whether or not she should tell him. She concluded he would eventually find out, and now seemed the best time to discuss it face-to-face. "I think she took pity on me. I passed out at the end of the funeral."
Sarah felt sorry for her husband. She would have given anything to not have to tell him that, but it was necessary. She just wished she could avoid seeing Chuck become pale and look so miserable. "I am sorry, Chuck. I wish you didn't need to know this."
Chuck looked at the ground and looked back up. "Sarah, is the baby OK?"
"Yes, Chuck, the baby is fine. Casey was smart enough to fly in an obstetrician when this started. It made it easier on Ellie and Devon." Sarah smiled at Chuck, hoping it would help him deal with the situation they were in. She paused for a moment. "Chuck, I am sorry you had to do this."
Sarah could see anger flash in Chuck's eyes. His response had an angry passion in it she rarely saw in her normally happy husband.
"Sarah, I wish that we were not forced to do this. I caused you pain, but don't for one second think I regret doing what I did."
Sarah started to reply, but Chuck raised his hand to stop her.
"Sarah, when we met so long ago, I was a completely different person. I knew I wanted to get married and have a job. I wanted to just be normal. I never knew how wrong I was. I was so stupid. I thought that it would just be a quiet life where I would live in L.A., and that would be it. Then I met you, Sarah Walker. You helped me understand that it's not about what I have. Heck, it's not about my job. It's about how I treat the people around me. How good of a husband I can be. How good of a parent I can be. That's what is important. When you came into my life, I did not know how to live. If I spent only 30 seconds of every day thinking of you, my life would still be better then the years I spent after Stanford."
Chuck paused to look at Sarah. Her face was frozen, but her eyes were a different story.
"You showed me what real love is. Even when I could not kiss you, or even feel your hand briefly touch mine, I loved you. I knew early on that telling me that you loved me was not your thing, and I am still OK with that. It just means when you do say those words to me, or you do something else to prove that you love me, the action means so much more.
"Please understand, I have a family, and I know that is something you never had. I know Ellie, Devon, Morgan even Casey are important to you...to us...but right now I don't care. I want them to be OK. If something happened to them it would be horrible."
Chuck was having trouble speaking, but something deep inside him pushed him on.
"But if something happened to you, or...or...that beautiful baby inside..of.."
Chuck could no longer speak and began to shake uncontrollably again. With tears in her eyes Sarah came and stood by him. She put her hands on his shoulders. Chuck stood up and hugged her tightly, placing his mouth next to her ear. His voice was soft and full of emotion.
"Sarah, I know there have been times where I haven't shown you that I love you as much as I think I should, but I swear to you that will never happen again. I want to wake up telling you that I love you and go to bed the same way. I want to feel horrible if we go to bed and you're angry with me. I always knew you were great at being a spy, but what has truly floored me is the depth of your emotions. I lay in bed every morning thanking God that you are in my life, and that I got so lucky that someone as wonderful as you would even be interested in me, much less in love with me."
Chuck took a deep breath and pulled back from Sarah to see her face. He could see the tears welling up in her crystal blue eyes.
She looked at him and held him tightly as she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "I love you."
When they kissed, it was different. There was an emotional connection to it that was overwhelming. It was as if this one kiss was a release for all the pain and suffering they had been through during the past week. When the kiss was broken, Chuck placed his head on her forehead. "Lets go back to bed. Beckman will be here in the morning, and I just want to hold my wife."
Sarah couldn't help thinking how much different the walk to the bedroom was this time as opposed to the last one. When they got in bed and lay down, they both had similar thoughts. No matter what tomorrow would bring, all was right in the world now.
What do you think. Would you like a continuation to clean up some really loose ends? Or just an epilogue that finishes it?
Ellie finding out about Chucks secret life (I dont like how it happened in the show)
Will Devon and Ellie go off grid
What is in store for Sarah
Will Beckman leave the dark-side and smile at Chuck?
This was an important chapter for me personally, please tell me how I did.