*rises dramatically from coffin*

I live!

Happy New Year! It is my resolution to finish this fic. Let's hope I can keep it.


Beast Boy awoke to a sharp pain in his right ear. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at the fabric of Raven's sheets, a few wisps of her violet hair visible from his position. Still in a sleep funk, it took him a few seconds to identify the round squishy thing his hand was on. Then he shot up like a spring, only to have his momentum arrested by his ear, which was stuck in Raven's mouth. She bit down harder, eliciting a squeal.

"Ah! Okay, uncle! Uncle! I surrender!"

If anything, she clamped down with even more force, until he feared he was going to lose his ear. In one final gambit, he morphed his tongue into a chameleon's and shot it as far down her ear canal as it could go. She awoke with a start, releasing his ear with a yell.

"Beast Boy, what are you... ugh!"

She shuddered, rubbing the outside of her ear.

Beast Boy looked up from wiping his tongue on the sheets. "You're the one who went Mike Tyson on me."

Belatedly, Raven noticed Beast Boy's mangled ear. "I did that?"

"No, I bit my own ear off, just to see if I could."

"Uh... sorry. I was having... strange dreams."

She put a hand on the side of his face and began the healing spell, her face heating up despite the innocence of the action.

"Y'know," Beast Boy joked, seeing her discomfort, "I thought it wasn't possible for me to become more familiar with demon earwax than I already was."

"Hm."

"Uh... How'd I get in your room?"

"You... got into the catnip and fell asleep here."

Raven hoped Beast Boy wouldn't pry beyond that.

"Did I do anything weird?" Beast Boy asked, hesitant.

"You showed intelligence in a field other than biology and pop culture. And used the word 'impressionable.'"

"That is weird, but not exactly what I mean."

"So what do you mean?"

He hesitated, his cheeks turning somewhat brown as blood rushed to them.

"I was just wondering if I'd made any... unwanted advances?"

Raven's silence was enough of an answer for him. He looked totally distraught as he started a rambling apology.

"Oh, God, Rae, did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it... I told you to stop and you did, so it isn't really an issue."

She smiled at Beast Boy's audible sigh of relief.

"That's more than I can say for you when you're sober." Raven said, shooting him a wry smirk as he glared in mock offense. "Plus, you were way better at making tea. I'm might catnip you more often just for that."

Beast Boy's frown became even more dramatic and Raven stifled a giggle. She removed her hand from Beast Boy's head, revealing a newly grown ear. After a brief examination, she declared it good as new, just as Beast Boy's stomach began to growl.

He blushed again. "So... breakfast?"


For the rest of the week, Beast Boy and Raven kept trying to find reasons to spend the night together. By Sunday night, they'd stopped making excuses. Every morning, one or both of them would wake up with superficial injuries, but neither desired to discuss them.

The arrangement remained undiscovered by the other Titans, mainly because Raven and Beast Boy had begun acting weird. And given how they'd already been acting, as well as the general daily oddities of which the Titans' lives consisted, that said a lot.

Robin was used to seeing a board game going on in the common room. And it wasn't too far-fetched for Raven to play along, even if it were one of the more brightly-colored, roll-dice-and-screw-everyone-else-over games that Beast Boy enjoyed so much. But he never expected Beast Boy had the capacity to play quietly. And yet, there he was, playing chess with Raven. No noise. No motion. Intense focus. The fact that he was winning.

That still wasn't as bizarre as Raven playing video games. Or the fact that Raven was going out of her way to annoy Beast Boy. Nobody knew what Beast Boy did to get her to play Ninja Marines Battle Force XII in the first place. But once she figured out how to work the cloaking mechanism, she spent entire sessions shadowing behind Beast Boy's character, waiting for him to whittle down whoever he was tailing, before jumping in to steal his kill. And then she'd tag him with a grenade, just for good measure.

After his fourth round scoring a negative number of points, Beast Boy hurled his controller to the ground and rounded on Raven, baring his teeth and roaring in her face. She chuckled and flicked his nose before slithering out of the room, leaving Starfire, Cyborg and Robin disturbed and confused in her wake, but they knew not to get him riled when he was in one of his moods.

Thankfully, he'd decided to pick up the controller again, and began a new game, with Starfire, who had previously been sitting out, taking Raven's place.

"You guys better not go easy on me," he warned.

He still won, but he seemed far too trigger-happy for anyone's liking.


There was no doubt that the next morning's breakfast would be a strange affair (not that it wasn't a strange affair every other morning, and had become downright surreal since Beast Boy and Raven had started dating), but they had no idea the degree of weirdness that would be wrought.

The fact that Raven was eating breakfast, instead of drinking her herbal tea, was an oddity in and of itself, but considering that she was on her fifth plate of bacon, everyone was concerned (Robin mostly for her arteries). Except for Beast Boy. He was just annoyed.

"Hey, you want to crunch on that pig fat a bit louder?"

Raven glared cheekily, taking a strip in her fist and biting a piece off of it like it was taffy. She then proceeded to chew with her mouth wide open, making disgusting slapping sounds to go along with it. Beast Boy moved one seat over (bumping Robin off of his seat) and Raven followed, chewing even more obnoxiously.

"Will you quit it?"

"Make me," Raven said, spraying bacon on his face as she spoke.

Beast Boy responded by shoving her plate across the table, sending it to shatter against the floor. They rose as one, glaring murderously into each others' eyes as their foreheads touched, Beast Boy on his tiptoes to remain level with her. They no longer spoke, instead choosing to growl, hiss and snarl threats that only they understood. Beast Boy's muscles bulged. Raven's skin started turning crimson. Hands twitched in contemplation, ears perked warily. They were in a dead heat, each trying to read the other for a sign of their first move. Just one sign of motion from either party could set off a chain reaction that-

"Now kiss!" Cyborg yelled, popping up beside them.

The next thing anyone knew, Cyborg was six inches deep in the concrete wall, a foot off the ground, with Beast Boy, holding him by the neck.

He had half-transformed into the Beast, his head mostly unchanged, if a bit larger overall, with enlarged fangs and longer, shaggier hair that more closely resembled fur. His legs had grown long enough that he was nearly level with Cyborg, and his arms, while about the same length, were thick and furry, ending in blunt claws.

"Or not," Cyborg said nervously to the blank eyes, even as the green pupils faded back in.

Beast Boy tugged Cyborg out of the wall before shifting back to his normal size with a sickening chorus of pops and creaks.

He grimaced, turning his head to crack his neck. "Sorry, Cy. I wasn't expecting-."

"It's cool," Cyborg muttered, turning his head 180 degrees to properly see to his back being dusted off. "I shoulda known better. We cool?"

He offered his hand, but by the time he'd turned his head back to its rightful position, Beast Boy was marching down the hall.


"Run simulation TTTS-GL Routine BW."

Warning: This is a high-level routine designed for Garfield Logan. Voice Recognition required for security clearance.

"Mark Marie."

Welcome Garfield. The simulation will begin in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Doors opened, and a wave of robots rushed at Beast Boy, some swinging nets, others with low-powered laser guns. He smiled, flexing his fingers in anticipation.

He shifted into a lion and pounced on the first one that came within leaping distance, knocking it onto its back and shoving its claws through its chest. Thick red fluid spurted out, covering Beast Boy as he changed form again, chomping another robot's head off as a flying shark and becoming a velociraptor upon landing. It took less than a minute for the slaughter to end, and Beast Boy called for more, this time without weapons, at the lowest combat skill rating. The computer had no rebuttal, and he relished in the idea that it was simply too terrified to question him.

He spent fifteen minutes, attacking without rhyme or reason, purely for the sake of destruction. Five minutes in, his bloodlust had become so great that he no longer cared what he turned into. At ten, he'd stopped shifting entirely, pulling them apart with his bare hands, kicking their joints out of socket, and generally being as cruel as he could stand to be. By this point, the computer was simply asking him if he wanted another wave of dummies to dismember.

Just as he tore the final robot's throat out with his teeth and was about to call in another squad, he heard Robin's voice over the loudspeaker.

"End simulation. Override Code: Alfred."

Access Denied. Garfield, would you like to repeat?

"It's alright. I'm done," Beast Boy said.

Powering down. Initiating Clean-up. Have a nice day, Garfield.

The arena powered down as a bunch of small robots entered to clean up the mess.

Beast Boy glared at Robin as he entered the floor.

"Um, sorry to interrupt Mr... Beast, sir. You mind if I talk to Beast Boy?"

"It is Beast Boy," came the response. "And for future reference, his name is Marko."

A beat.

Robin blinked. "Marko. The Beast." He sounded caught between laughing uproariously and slitting his own throat.

"He wanted to take my middle name, Mark, but for personal reasons I couldn't give it to him, so I added an -o as a compromise. So why are you here again?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Well, Marko's been a bit agitated recently, so I'm just kind of blowing off steam. Sorry you had to see-" he waved his hand at the carnage he'd wrought, "that. It's something Cy and I worked on. Only I can start or stop it. Also, it's tomato sauce, not blood."

Robin nodded. "So, what happened at breakfast?"

"I was startled. It was all pretty knee-jerk, you know. Like I said, Marko's a bit off-kilter right now. Sometimes he just wants to wreck stuff."

"Not that. Cyborg admits he set you off. I'm talking about you and Raven. And if it had something to do with "Marko" and... me."

Beast Boy looked confused, and Robin had to explain last night's short encounter, and how he'd been disrespected by Beast Boy's alter-alter-ego.

"It's not that hard, actually. To him, we're a pack. You were the Alpha Wolf, until he beat you; that's how it would work in the animal kingdom. I'm stronger than him, so he answers to me..."

"But you defer to me, and he doesn't like being under someone who he thinks is weak. Okay, I guess I can live with that if you've got him under control."

"I could try to teach him the concept of Rock-Paper-Scissors."

Robin smile. "Whatever you think would work."

There was an awkward pause, before Robin changed the subject. "So what's up with you and Raven?"

"She's what's got Marko so agitated."

"From one guy to another," Beast Boy added when The Boy Wonder seemed unaware of his meaning.

The left half of Robin's mask widened.

Beast Boy noted Robin's realization with sheepish grin. "Yeah."

"I... know how that feels. Cold showers. Late nights sitting awake, just-"

"I'd prefer if we just awkward bro-hugged and called it a day."

"... Actually, so would I," Robin admitted.

And they did, with a silent promise to never discuss anything that happened in the last five minutes, under pain of death.