Happy You're in Love
Disclaimer: The only part of Criminal Minds I own is the first four seasons on DVD.
A/N: This story was written while I was listening to a lot of Imogen Heap, I have other stories based on her song in store. This is story is kind of new for me since I've never really written from Morgan's PoV. I hope you like it. As always; review are welcome and appreciated. Enjoy.
"Hey guys; you remember Austin, right?" Reid said. The team was at a bar they had chosen for their weekly get together, which they did when they didn't have a case, just to wind down from the horrors of their job and to remind themselves that they could still laugh and have a good time.
Morgan looked up from his beer at the sound of Reid's voice. The kid was usually early to whatever place they had agreed upon, because he hated being late, but this time the kid had been the last to arrive. It took a few seconds for Reid's words to sink into Morgan's brain and for him to comprehend what he was seeing in front of him.
Reid was standing hand in hand with a pretty brunette; something pulled in Morgan's chest but he pushed it away. The brunette looked familiar; he searched his memory. Austin? There! The bartender he'd had Reid chat up during that case in Atlanta. Morgan was surprised; he wasn't even aware they had kept in touch beyond the case, much less been dating or seeing each other. But there was the proof standing right in front of his eyes. A sudden heat licked at his insides seeing the two of them together. He had only felt something like that when he'd seen Reid crushing on Lila Archer years ago. He ignored it.
"Hey Austin. How have you been since Christmas?" JJ asked.
Christmas? Morgan had gone home to Chicago for Christmas. Had Austin come to Virginia for Christmas? Why had no one told him? He should have taken his mother up on the offer to have his team, or at least a few members, join him for the holidays.
Morgan pulled his attention back to the current conversation. "It's been great. I'm think of moving here though," Austin was saying. She looked at Reid and squeezed his hand; the heat in Morgan's chest intensified, he again ignored it and focused on Austin's words. "I want to be closer," she smiled. "And Spencer wants me to move in with him."
Whoa. Morgan's brain grinded to a halt. Move in? They barely knew each other. He suddenly had the urge to do something rash. He desperately wanted Austin to stop smiling at Reid like that. It was making him uncomfortable and somewhat angry and he didn't know why.
"Anyone need a refill?" he said suddenly and a bit too loudly. He was immediately sheepish.
The rest of the team gave him odds looks but no one said anything. Reid who had glanced at him when he spoke had turned his attention back to Austin.
"Anyone?" Morgan's voice had a note of desperation now. He had to get away from the table.
"I could do with another." Garcia said, even though her glass was almost full. She had been watching Morgan and knew something was up. "I'll come with you," she threw Morgan a meaningful look.
When they were both far enough from the table, not to be seen or heard, Garcia put her hand on Morgan's arm stopping his progress to the bar.
"Okay sugar, spill it."
"Spill what? There's nothing to spill."
"Do not lie to me Derek Morgan. Something is wrong," she crossed her arms. "I may not be a profiler, but I know you. And I can tell when something is wrong," she paused. "So can the rest of the team and they are profilers. So spill."
"I don't know." He held his hands out defensively, honesty coloring his voice. "I really don't."
"When Reid brought Austin over you looked like you smelled bad BO or too much perfume and right before we left you looked like you wanted to punch her." A smile formed on Garcia's lips as though the mental image amused her. "I think you might have scared her a bit."
"I did?" He was perplexed; he'd had no idea he'd looked like that. He was also slightly pleased he may have frightened Austin, not that he'd ever admit it, he didn't even know why he felt pleased. "I didn't mean to."
"I know sugar bear," she said patting his arm.
They stood in silence for a few seconds before Morgan spoke again.
"So how long has Reid been dating," he swallowed as if the name was stuck in his throat. "Austin?" he finished in a slightly strained voice. What was going on with him?
"Since a few weeks after they met," she said, he hand still on his arm.
"Why didn't anybody tell me?" Morgan question.
"We thought you knew, didn't Reid tell you?" Garcia looked into Morgan's face and her mouth made a silent "oh" of comprehension. "Oh baby, I'm sorry."
Morgan was thoroughly confused now. "No he didn't tell me. The whole team knew?" Garcia continued to stare at him as though she hadn't heard a word he'd said. "What?"
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Well I guess I should have seen. That makes so much sense," she was babbling and he was completely lost.
Morgan grabbed her shoulders gently getting her to focus on his face and realize what she was doing. "Mama, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."
She looked deep into his eyes and her face took on a sad look. "You haven't realized yet have you?"
"Realized what?" he was starting to become annoyed. "What are you talking about, Garcia."
Garcia seemed on the verge of telling him something. "I—" she stopped herself. Her posture seemed to straighten. "No, I can't. That wouldn't be fair to you. I'm sorry, this is something you have to figure out on your own," she glanced back towards their table. People had shifted and he had a clear view of Reid and Austin; Reid's head was bent down, whispering something in her ear, she let out a laugh. Reid pulled away and beamed, clearly pleased with himself. Morgan felt as if the air had been sucked from his chest at the sight. He had to leave. He didn't know why, but he had to get out.
"Derek like I said. I'm so sorry." Garcia's voice drifted to him as though it were a thousand miles of, his eyes were still glued to Reid and Austin.
"I have to go," he said ripping his eyes away from the scene in front of him, clearly not having comprehended anything Garcia said.
"I'll make up some excuse," she looked over her shoulder at Reid and Austin who were kissing, as Morgan bolted for the exit, and sighed. "I hope he figures it out soon—for his sake," she said to herself as she turned back to rejoin her teammates and Austin at the table.
Morgan unlocked his front door and was immediately jumped on by Clooney.
"Down," he pushed the dog away. His head was spinning and he wasn't even sure why, he hardly had anything to drink. He collapsed on the couch and closed his eyes. He felt emotionally drained. He was even more confused than he had been at the bar. What had Garcia meant? What was she talking about? His head pounded. He couldn't think clearly, Reid's image just kept popping into his mind, followed by the image of Reid whispering to Austin and her laughing. His gut felt hot again and his brain pounded more intensely.
After lying on the couch for what felt like forever, Morgan finally managed to pull himself up and stumble to the bathroom where he downed two extra strength Tylenol. He then trudged to his bedroom where he fell heavily on his bed face down, still fully dressed, and let sleep take him, the light above him still burning brightly.
The next few days at work were hell for Morgan. He felt like he was being watched constantly. Whenever he made eye contact with one of the girls they would just give him the same sad smile Garcia had given him at the bar. It confused and frustrated him.
Hotch had called Morgan into his office to ask him if everything was all right. Hotch didn't have the same look the girls had, but Morgan had known him long enough to know when there was pity in his voice.
Reid and Rossi acted the same, but then Rossi made it a point to avoid office gossip and stay out of the lives of other agents, except for Hotch, and well Reid, he was practically oblivious to everything. Whenever Morgan looked at Reid, however, he felt the same strange pulling he'd felt at the bar.
Morgan was immensely grateful when a case came up and he could focus on something other than paperwork, his teammates, and his own confusing feelings.
The relief was only temporary however; it was a pretty cut and dry case and they were back home in time for their weekly night out. He thought bout ditching, but when he found out they were going to a club, this time, his spirits rose, that was his turf, he was sure he would be fine.
"Having fun?" Garcia slid in to the booth next to Morgan as he was having a breather. He wanted to tell her yes; he'd been dancing almost all night, but something hadn't seemed right. He kept being drawn to Reid and Austin.
"I guess," his eyes were, at that moment, following Reid and Austin moving on the dance floor. His gut still felt hot every time he looked at them together but he couldn't seem to look away.
"Still won't admit it to yourself," Garcia said watching Morgan's eye line.
"Admit what? Penelope what are you talking about?"
"Nah-uh. I told you. You have to figure this out for yourself. I know if you let go, it will come to you," she patted his arm and got up, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
What was she talking about? Admit what to himself, there was nothing for him to admit to himself. His eyes wandered back to Reid still dancing with Austin and the heat flooded his midriff. He thought about it; it had never happened to him when he looked at Reid before, not until Austin came into the picture. What did it mean?
He made himself look at the other women in the club, some he had danced with some he hadn't, the hotness disappeared, but instead of being replaced by excitement like usual, he felt nothing. What was going on with him?
Morgan was so absorbed in his thoughts that he jumped slightly when Reid sat down next to him, alone, free of Austin. The moment Morgan's eyes lighted on him the pulling reentered his stomach, but he didn't really care, he was glad to have Reid beside him without Austin.
"Hey," Reid was smiling and had flushed cheeks from the exertion of dancing. Morgan thought he looked wonderful. What? He stopped himself. Wonderful? Where had that come from?
"Hey," Morgan answered back. "You look like you're having a good time. Where is you know…" his hand gestured to one side of Reid.
"Oh, Austin?" Morgan nodded and Reid continued. "Garcia took her to the bathroom. Some kind of weird girl ritual, I think," he let out a soft laugh and it sounded like music to Morgan's ears.
They chatted amicably for a few minutes before Reid suddenly turned serious. "Derek," he said using Morgan's first name. "Sorry about springing Austin on you like that. I thought you knew, but Garcia said you had no idea so, I'm really sorry about that."
Morgan's gut tightened and he had a feeling he was about to hear something he definitely wasn't going to like. It took all his skill as an FBI agent to keep his voice normal and steady.
"It's okay kid. I shoulda seen the signs or something," he clapped Reid on the shoulder and had the sudden urge to leave his hand there, but reluctantly he pulled away.
Reid smiled. "Thank you Derek."
"If it hadn't been for you I never would have met Austin. And Derek," he paused and leaned closer to Morgan. "I think I'm in love with her."
With those last five words Morgan's world shattered. He suddenly realized what Garcia had been trying to get him to see. He understood why he hated Austin for no reason and what the hotness in his abdomen was, jealousy. He suddenly realized what all the strange pulling and twisting in his gut whenever Reid was around meant; he was in love with Spencer Reid.
"Morgan are you okay?" Reid was waving a hand in front of his face.
"What? Oh yeah. Sorry kid. Spaced." The realization was overwhelming him, but he tried to focus on Reid. "That's great kid. I'm happy for you," his voice was tight but he hoped Reid didn't notice.
"Thank you Derek. That means a lot to me. Really," Reid said just as Austin and Garcia arrived at the table.
Austin pulled Reid away to dance again and just before they disappeared in the crowd Morgan saw Reid look over his shoulder and mouth "Thank you." Morgan's heart broke.
"Wanna dance chocolate bear?" Garcia said sliding into the booth next to him.
"No thanks." His voice now sounded desolate and he was looking into his drink, as if contemplating how many more he would need before he could completely lose himself.
Garcia laid her head on his shoulder. "I have a pint of ice cream, a comfy couch, and I've been told I'm a good listener," she paused. "If you're interested," she added pulling her phone out to send a text to her teammates.
Morgan managed a weak smile that Garcia took as an affirmative and pulled him up and out of the club.
Garcia wouldn't allow any talking until she had the proper equipment, which was fine with Morgan because he wasn't sure how much he wanted to talk, he just knew he didn't want to be alone, he wasn't sure what he would do.
Once Garcia was in comfy pajamas and fuzzy slippers and had put Morgan on the couch with a box of tissues ("Just in case"), a giant teddy bear, and a bowl of ice cream; she sat down in the chair facing him armed with her own bowl.
"So when did it happen? When did it hit you I mean?" she asked as he morosely stirred the contents of his bowl.
"When he said he thought he was in love with Austin. My feelings suddenly made sense. I wish you had told me. I know you knew."
"I'm sorry. Would you have believed me? You hadn't even admitted it to yourself yet."
Morgan sighed; he knew she was right. He would have just told her she was crazy and that there was no possible way.
"What am I going to do? He's in love with Austin. You know what?" he said softly. Garcia didn't say anything. "He thanked me. He thanked me for getting them together," he turned to Garcia. "Do you think there was anything I could have done? You know, if I'd of realized sooner."
Garcia put down her bowl and moved to sit beside him on the couch. "There's no way to know honey."
"I really am happy for him you know."
"I know you are."
"I'm not even gay, it's just Reid, you know? I've always wanted to protect him. He's one of my best friends. I trust him with my life," Morgan was just saying whatever random sentences came to his brain now, but Garcia understood.
"What do I do?" he asked Garcia again.
"I can't really tell you that, but I know you're gonna be okay. You're strong Derek. One of the strongest people I know. You may not be all right, right away, but eventually, you'll move on and you'll be okay."
"I'm happy he's in love." Morgan said. He was emotionally drained and tired, he knew he would be sleeping on Garcia's couch. "He deserves it," Morgan finished as his eyes started to close.
Garcia gave Morgan another sad smile as she took away the bowls of ice cream and covered Morgan up on the couch.
Garcia knew the next few months would be hard for him, harder than even he could imagine. Reid had shown Garcia the engagement ring he had bought for Austin. She knew Reid planned to ask Morgan to be his best man, but she also knew Morgan would pull through it, he was one of the strongest men she knew, he'd been through so much already and he was still strong. He still wanted to protect people even after all he'd been through. She dropped a motherly kiss on his forehead and walked away leaving Morgan to his dreams.