A/N: This is just for fun! I do NOT own Naruto in any way, shape, or form... (sighs)
A Fire-Side Chat with Itachi and Sasuke
It was a wintery day in Konoha. There were children making snowman, civilians wrapped tight in their scarves while struggling to hold on to their baggage because of the wind, and elderly civilians cursing the weather because it caused their favorite pair of shoes to become wet, but more important than all of the above was ninjas and their missions.
Our story focuses on one ninja that was returning home from a long-term mission. His name was Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke was returning to Konoha from a year-long mission. Since he had nothing to do for some time, he decided that he would visit his best friend, and secret love, Naruto Uzumaki. With that in mind, he quickly ran over to the Uchiha District. No, Naruto doesn't live in his old apartment anymore because a certain person decided to burn it down after he refused to move in with that said person *cough* Sasuke *cough*.
As Sasuke approached Naruto's house, Sasuke had a feeling that something was wrong. There were two other chakra signatures other than Naruto's, one very strong and one very tiny. Shrugging it off, Sasuke knocked on the door before entering the house. Sasuke noticed that it was dark in the house, except from the small amount of light coming from the living room. Walking into the living room, he noticed that the light was coming from the fireplace.
"Naruto, I'm home."
"Welcome back, little brother. How was your mission?"
"Thanks, it was –" Sasuke paused and turned in the direction of the couch to see his aniki chilling on his dobe's couch. Sasuke growled in anger.
"What the *EFF!* are you doing in my dobe's house Itachi?"
"Would you like some hot cocoa?" Itachi offered with a smile on his face. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in shock.
Sasuke watched Itachi leave the living room before he sat down on the couch and took off his vest and shoes. He sat there twiddling his thumbs as he waited for Itachi to return. A few moments later, Itachi came back with two smoking mugs and motioned for Sasuke to scoot over a little before handing one of the cups to Sasuke.
"Careful, it's really hot."
They sat in silence watching the flames of the fire in the fireplace. After Sasuke was about halfway finished with his cocoa, he asked his aniki the question that was bothering him.
"Didn't I kill you?"
"Sasuke, this is a fanfic. Anyone can be revived and killed at any given time."
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Nah, really? I knew that! I'm just wondering why you're here in this house that's all."
"I'm here because I'm with Naruto."
"You mean you're his roommate?"
"No, we're married."
"I bullshit you not."
"No, you are because Naruto's mine you prick!" Sasuke yelled.
"Shh! You'll wake Naruto."
"Like I give a damn! He belongs to me! It's so obvious! Why the hell do you think he was always looking for me?"
"Oh yes, it was also soo obvious when you tried to kill him for the Mangekyou Sharingan… You two could've started dating then, oh wait! How could you two have if he would've died?"
"Well I wonder who it was that put that idea in my head dumbass!"
"Oh it was a metaphorical statement! Like I really meant for you to kill Naruto, Sasuke. It's called reading in between the lines."
"It's called kiss my ass, Itachi! Besides, if you were meant for the dobe, then why were you trying to kidnap him all of those times when you were with the Akatsuki?"
"I wasn't trying to kidnap him. I was trying to ask him out on a date so that we could catch up with each other."
"How the hell was shoving a crow down his throat a way of asking to catch up on the things you've missed?"
Itachi smirked before taking a swig of his cocoa. Sasuke gasped in shock.
"Of course not! He was underage at the time!"
"Oh, thank –"
"But that doesn't mean that we did other things…"
Sasuke growled in anger when a sudden thought popped in his head that caused him to smirk.
"Does he know of your lover, you know, the one you killed in the Uchiha Massacre?"
"Naruto was my lover that I killed during the Uchiha Massacre."
"Do you really think that I am that stupid? Naruto's alive! What the hell is wrong with you…"
"I was seeing Naruto before the massacre occurred. After I knocked you out, I ran over to Naruto's apartment and told him that we couldn't see each other anymore and that killed him on the inside, see? Everyone already knew that I was seeing someone so they just assumed that it was a Uchiha. It's another one of those reading in between the lines."
"Itachi… That has to be one of the most ridiculous things that I have ever heard! What are you gonna tell me next? That Naruto's upstairs eight months pregnant because of the Kyuubi, wearing your old Akatsuki cloak because it keeps him warm, and eating his favorite ramen?"
"What the hell is going on down here? I'm trying to sleep!"
They both turned to see a very angry, and pregnant, Naruto standing in the entryway of the living room, wearing Itachi's old Akatsuki cloak and carrying a half-eaten bowl of ramen. Sasuke didn't say a word. He stood up, dumped the rest of his cocoa into the fireplace (successfully putting out the fire), handed the empty mug back to Itachi, slipped on his vest and shoes, walked past Naruto and headed out of the house.
"What's up his ass, Ita-koi?"
"According to quite a lot of Naruto fanfictions out there… me."
I'm thinking about turning this into a series... Feel free to review and/or email any suggestions for other characters1 I'm all ears!