I no longer need beta-readers, so I'm sorry to anyone who asks after this, but I'm going to have to say no ^^;

Let's give it up for NegoArgantaeDrangotea, A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian, and 15animefreak15! :D Good luck!

Tyki: You're gonna need it.

Arielle: Shaddup! I'm not that bad a writer! ;_; ... Yeah, I am...

Other thanks go to my godforsaken brother, my cousin, and boredchibi on MSN. (SERIOUSLY, KYLE, IF YOU COMMENT ON THIS AGAIN I'LL GO INTO YOUR ROOM AND STEAL ALL YOUR LEGO PEOPLE)

Alright. My new inside joke with myself and you guys is that England is Paul Newman. A lot of you probably don't think it's funny, but I'm just one of those easily amusable people who make themselves laugh.

Anyway, two things I'm gonna do before anything: Results so far and the next exciting section of, "I was too lazy to wait for my computer to load the reply box!"

RESULTS SO FAR! (Now in alphabetical order!...By country name):

China/Yao: 1

Denmark: 2

England/Arthur: 7

France/Francis: 1

Holland: 1

North Italy/Feliciano: 1

Japan/Kiku: 1

Liechtenstein: 1

Prussia/Gilbert: 6

Russia/Ivan: 11

HOLY. CRAP. IS RUSSIA ACTUALLY WINNING? *slightly happy inside* Well, I guess for each chapter, until it starts nearing the end where I'll cut it down to a maximum of four countries that'll have the best chance of getting America, I'll make it like that country with the most votes is going to win... *not sure about this, but hopes she'll do well anyway*

Onto the segment!

Beginning of Segment

aph-love34: Ohoho! Thank you for voting ;D I feel so bad for Canada all the time! ;A; He should get some more love! That part with France was probably my favorite part to write in this chapter. And it was like, "BAM! I KNOW WHAT TO PUT HERE!" So yeah... Thank you! *tries to think of more witty things to put in this chapter*

sakerat: Oh really? Thank you! I'm flattered! YES. CRACK PAIRINGS. THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FLAVORS OF ICE CREAM. (My least favorite is math if anyone was wondering.) And thank you! I love you too! :D Russia/America is my OTP too *sighs dreamily* They just go so well together, don't they? *smiles while imagining Alfred and Ivan trying to beat the crap outta each other* And you get those fabulously awesome mood swings too? I love those! I guess that means the story is good? *smiling in a satisfied manner*

NegoArgentaeDragotea: I really wanna know how you came up with your username cuz it sounds amazingly epic! :D Thank you for reviewing, AND THANK YOU FOR BETA-ING! ^^

Razzy: Why thank you! I'm always happy to make someone smile! It's contagious, you know. ;D *is excited too* *w* Oh wow! You're actually the first person to say Japan! (Which, I find weird because I see quite a few Nihon and America fics out there.) Anywayz, your votes have been counted and I hope you continue reading this!

Eeveegirlsakura: Aw! Thank you! *thumbs up* I'll be sure to! :D

goldchild: Thank you for reading and voting! :3

inspiredjoy: Hahaha! Thank you! He makes me laugh too XD Thank you for the vote! :D HOLY SHIZ. WHY, THAT'S AN AMAZINGLY AMAZING COMPLIMENT. THANK YOU SO MUCH :D

LupinandHarry: Wow! I'm so happy to find people are actually staying with the story! :D *happily takes your vote for Prussia* I'm glad I could make you laugh! That's one of my aims for this story!

lady firefox: Thank you~ I kinda stole this plot from my dream...Which was influenced by another story...*shadily looks around* I think you're a mind reader...GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I AGREE WITH YOU ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT, BY THE WAY. ON EVERYTHING.

Mr. Sora Majiggers: YEAH! OF COURSE YOU CAN VOTE! England, you silly-goose. CB EVERYTHING wins if America is bottom. *lives in that country and is her favorite person EVER, but totally doesn't care* OMG! YOU DID?~ It was different at first, but then I changed it because some stuff really conflicted with the story. So I just kept it simple... In real life, I woulda been like, "HOLY CRAP, IT'S CANADA." But yeah...Ah, rambling. I remember the good old days in which I used to take part in that as well- Tyki: What are you talking about? *looks deadpan at whole paragraph response Arielle just wrote*

Maelstrom: Ah, you're welcome. I was working in the licensing office the other day and I noticed a Mister Matthew William's invisibility card was expired, so I had the office make it no longer viable. :D I love those brotherly moments! They make me smile! Oh~ Historically speaking, you say~? *comes up with many ideas for future stories* And I share your love of Russia and America :3

alaskaaru: Gracias :3 It's really difficult for me to write Iggy, so it makes me happy that you think I do a good job for him! ^^ That's a good choice~! *thumbs up*

RinxLen Neko: *blushing* You really liked it? Ah, laziness. *waves hand* It's completely okay. That's a legitimate excuse for anything. I use that for homework! ...Though, I wonder why my homework grades are so low in English... *blushing even more* Thank you so much! I don't know what to say...But thank you! *smiley faces and hearts*

A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian: I agree a hundred percent. *nods head agreeing-like* Yes, yes you can be one of my betas! I think I'll have three~ So, now I have two. :3 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy it! I'll try, but I think I lent all my awesomeness to Prussia 83

You-Know-Who: Dear Kyle, did you really believe I wouldn't know it was you? YOU DID WHAT NOW? THE SPARKLY ONE? WHAT THE HELL, KYLE. WHAT. THE. HELL. Grammatical errors my ass. Your review was laced with grammatical errors. I know I'm bad at it, please don't tell me. GIVE ME SPECIFIC EXAMPLES. More description? Got it. That sounds like a good idea. I'll try it. Unless I'm struck with some kind of genius...P.S. Stop looking up how to talk smart-like, you dumbass. YOU'RE FREAKING THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. And I can take care of myself. AND WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT HIM? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO "SEXUAL TENSION." WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. England? Alright. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT MY SECRET LOVE OF LIECHTENSTEIN. And Italy? Really? Wow, you just found out another one of my secret favorite pairings.

Chalinaroses: Whoa~ Thank you! I never knew who she was so, that's a big help! :D Ooh! Thank you once again! And just in time for that description too! I kinda find them awkward too...Which is why my headcanon is that they're regular people unless dealing with political affairs :3 *sniffling* But that's so sweet! If you want, I can do a separate series with OCs in it...And don't worry about it being long! I think that's the best kind of review!

You-Know-Who Again: Seriously, Kyle, what the hell. You probably won't even read this fully. But now, it's there... KYLE. FRICKING GET CAUGHT UP WITH HETALIA SO YOU CAN REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO "KIRIBATI." *cries* I don't think I'll put OC's as pairings in this...I'll just, you know, put them in during one of the meetings or something... But China and Denmark are legit. So that's okay. *stares at you suspiciously*

Amazingness 1.0: Thank you for that lovely review~. Ah! More votes! *happily takes them* AND WHY ARE YOU STOPPING. CONTINUE. CONTINUE LAUGHING TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT! MWAHAHAHA!

Jessicahlee94: Both of them have been counted as votes for you :3 I'm kinda hoping it'll be a close run between at least three people because then it'll be a lot more interesting, and maybe more people will be tempted to vote for who they want~ I share your views, and I think I'll maybe write a few one shots or short stories with some seme!UK. AND YES. THOSE CRAZY NORTH AMERICAN BROS. I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN REALITY SHOW XD

15animefreak15: Oh! Thank you! You're the last lucky contender! Congratulations!

nanashii96: Thanks for voting, and I'll be sure to update as soon as possible~! ^w^

Misuzu715: Oh gosh! Thank you for both of those reviews! Your votes have been counted, and I'm glad you like the story! X3

khope: *winks back* Ohohoho~ I get it~ Thank you for reading :3

Though, this section is gradually changing into the "I was too lazy to load some of the reply boxes…"

End of Segment

Phew, is that it? There was quite a bit more than last time! *so happy*


The brothers stared at the unconscious man. Alfred poked him.

"I-is he dead?" came his brother's scared voice.

"Hm, it could be a lot of trouble if he is..." He rested his chin on his hand and thought for a few seconds. "All right."

"'All right' what?"

Alfred started counting off on his fingers. "I'm gonna need sand, water, sunglasses, glue, feathers, duck tape, a bucket, and disinfectant."

"And w-why would you need all this stuff?"

"So, here's my plan," America said, ignoring the previous question. His eyes started to widen with excitement. "We get the sand, water, and a few other supplies, whip ourselves up some cement, and cover Iggy in it. Then, we use the duck tape to attach it to an alien spaceship, pour glue all over it, cover it in feathers, and send it off from the park. Everyone will think it's an oversized bird."

"Alfred," Matthew said with a deadpan expression, "That's one of the stupidest plans I've ever heard."

Alfred crossed his arms and pouted. "It's not like you've got anything better…" he mumbled.

"Just curious, but what were the sunglasses for?"

"To look badass."

The other shook his head and leaned over to feel the Englishman's forehead; it was still warm. He grasped the limp wrist and carefully searched for a pulse, finding relief at the tiny thumping of the blood pulsing through Arthur's veins.

"Thank God, he's alive-ALFRED! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Matt stared at Alfred with a completely shocked expression. The American was currently trying to pour the cement onto Arthur when Matt had not been looking. Where the American had found the time to make the cement, Canada would never know.

"Huh? He's alive? Well, I guess that's good..."

Alfred looked severely disappointed at the news. Matthew worried about him sometimes.

"So... what're we supposed to do until he wakes up?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait."

Alfred crossed his arms and pouted. "Aw... But that's so boring," Alfred whined. He waited for Matt to respond, but it never came. "Hmph. Stay with the stuck-up prick, then. I," he pointed to himself, "am going for a walk." And with that, he stalked out and slammed the door behind him, the sound of which woke Arthur out of unconsciousness.

"Huh, I..." The Brit mumbled groggily before noticing Matt, and then asked, "Matthew? What the blooming Hell happened?"

He sighed. "To tell you the truth...I don't even truly know myself. I came over today to find Al, was thirsty and drank that, um, 'potion', and ran out for about twenty minutes. Then, I come back to you and Al fighting tooth and nail. After that, you tried to lock him in a closet, and he fell out on top of you. Then, you screamed and fainted."

"Like a girl, I might add," Alfred said, snickering.

Matt turned to his brother. "Weren't you leaving?"

"Just forgot my wallet." He promptly left again.

"Where is he going?" Arthur asked.

"For a walk."

The other nodded. "Well, that's good." He froze as realization dawned upon him. "WAIT! NO. NO, THAT IS NOT GOOD."

"A-Arthur?" Matthew was a little frightened. The Englishman never looked this distraught. "Wha...What's wrong?"

"Alfred, that git," he muttered to himself, pacing back and forth on the carpet.

"Arthur, what's wrong?" he repeated.

Arthur stopped and looked at Matt. "We have to go after him."


"Yes, wherever he is, it can't be good."

"B-but, why-"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter why! We absolutely have to find him before he finds his way into...Oh, God."

"What? What is it?"

Arthur's eyes widened in horror.


This Ain't No Love Potion, This Here's Diet Coke

Chapter 2: Um... France Isn't The Problem Here

The sun seemed to be using every last ounce of its strength to light up the sky in brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow as it began setting on the horizon.

Alfred whistled as he jogged down the sidewalk. Okay, so maybe it was not a walk...But he just could not take it! He wanted to run! To feel the wind in his hair! To watch the McDonald's fly by! To see the world in fast forward! To-wait, a McDonald's?

He stopped, backed up, and looked across the street. Why were streets so wide in France? How did he get in France, anyway? Oh well, he could cross the street! If it were not for the cars going at unreasonable speeds and never stopping, that is.

When the street was semi-empty, he attempted to put his foot out, but a car sped by and nearly tore the appendage off. America nodded his head; he knew it. Francis specifically made it so all French cars were out to kill him. It would leave no trace back to the Frenchman. Then, at his funeral, he'd be snickering the whole time on how perfectly his plan came together.

He nodded again. It all made sense now.

But was France really that stupid? You cannot kill a hero with a car. It just does not make sense. Alfred picked up a rock and "discreetly" threw it at the streetlight. It blinked in and out before the light bulb went black. Without a streetlight to guide them, every car screeched to a halt. He gave a smirk of satisfaction as he strolled casually across the street.

He did not realize the car silently speeding towards him, despite the now-broken traffic light. The car honked a horn, and Alfred turned his head, but it was too late.


"Oh Mist! Ich glaube, ich traf jemanden!" Gilbert cursed out loud as a thunk stopped his car.

"This is really bad... If I killed someone, West would kill me..." He honked the horn! If the person was too stupid or too slow to get out of the way, that was not his fault! But he could have slowed down...or stopped. He sighed and scratched his head. Then, he turned off the car and climbed out, slamming the door behind him. He walked around the perimeter of the car until he reached the front. Gilbert had his eyes closed and was holding his breath, but he suddenly found himself sniffing the air and opening his eyes to the sight before him.

To tell the truth, he was quite surprised. Lying on the ground, his blond hair tossed around and his glasses a few feet to the right, was Alfred F. Jones, the personification of the United States of America, looking as though he were sleeping with an angel-like face and smelling like roses. Any normal person would not have even realized he was just hit by a car.

Gilbert smirked. "Warum, hallo~ Was wir hier tun?" He started smirking in a perverted fashion. Alfred looked unnaturally ravishing today, and thoughts of all the ways he could invade the young teen as he was unconscious filled his head. Yet he suddenly stopped smirking as a thought occurred to him.

Alfred was a superpower.

The minute he woke up, he would have the entire place swarming with the army.

And then, he would most likely kill, maim, and/or attack the ex-nation. Whichever came first.

All that equaled bad in Gilbert's mind.

The honking of cars roused him from his thoughts. Oh, he had forgotten they were in the middle of the street.


He smirked again. "Hey, Gilbird, we're in the middle of a street. Did you know that?"

The bird chirped in response as it flew to the top of his head and nestled into his hair.

"So I can't leave some helpless American in the middle of the street where he can get run over! And I don't know where his hotel is... So he'll just have to come home with me! Kesesese..."

Using his awesome strength, he slung Alfred over his shoulders and walked back to his car. "Hm... he's lighter than I expected... Boy am I awesome for saving the 'hero' like this!" He opened the passenger door and threw the boy in. He then walked around, slid back into the driver's seat, and turned on the ignition. Gilbert quickly drove away, leaving a cloud of dust behind them.


"A-Arthur! I don't think he could have gone this far!" Matthew almost crashed into the other man, his face flushed and sweat running down his cheeks from all the running they had been doing.

Arthur, however, was not even breaking a sweat. He checked his pocket watch and frowned. "It's only been ten minutes. Knowing Alfred, he could be halfway around the world by now."

Matthew gritted his teeth and shouted at the sky.



Gilbert pulled to a stop at a red light and glanced at the still-unconscious Alfred sitting beside him. Maybe he should wake him up? ...But then, Alfred would probably want to go home. If they were already in Germany by the time he woke up, though...he would have no way to get home, and then he would have to stay!

It was an awesome plan.

Wait, why was he so desperate to get Alfred to stay with him?

Gilbert shook his head, realizing he did not know. Perhaps it was just something about the way he was dressed today. Or the fact he smelled like roses. ...Maybe he was hanging around France too much.

He started staring at the American's sleeping face, so innocent and helpless.

In that moment, Gilbert almost felt ashamed of himself for basically kidnapping Alfred.

. . . .


He was doing the American a favor! He would have died if it were not for him! Yet somehow, he still felt some kind of guilt tearing at his chest. He could at least wake the other up.

Gilbert placed his hand on Alfred's shoulder and started to shake him lightly.

"Hey, American, wake up."

The light turned green, and Gilbert sighed at his failed attempt as he stepped on the pedal.

"Hey! Wake up!"

Still no answer.

He sighed again. Keeping one hand on the wheel, he used his other hand to start continuously poking Alfred. "Come on."

The other stirred a bit and his eyes began to open slowly, his lashes fluttering. Alfred really was beautiful.

America seemed to be sleepily taking in his surroundings, and a minute later, his eyes shot open.

"Where the Hell am I?" He started panicking and trying to get out of the car.

"He! American! Calm down! You're going to make us get into an accident! And that is not awesome."

The words seemed to relax Alfred. He settled back into his seat and looked at the albino.



"Where are we?"

"In my car. You were passed out in the middle of the street. You'd better thank me for saving your sorry ass!"

Alfred blinked, his eyes wide and a confused look on his face, but it soon transformed into a bright grin. "Thanks, Gilbo! I guess you saved my life!" he laughed genuinely.

Gilbert tried to find any sarcasm in the statement, but could find none. So was the American actually thanking him?


"So then he started saying, 'Oh Prussia, could you please get out of my house? I'm trying to be all uptight and act like I'm better than you.' And then, that scary bitch, Hungary, came in and tried to kill me with that frying pan of hers!"

Alfred laughed loudly, and Gilbert laughed along with him. How come he had never known that ol' Gilbo could have been such a cool guy? Of course, Gilbert had helped train him during the... Revolution... but all he could remember of the Prussian back then was screaming, yelling, and beer.

"Hahaha! You shoulda seen Arthur today! 'Get out of my house, you git! I'm such a gentleman, so I'll kick you out without any food!'"

"Kesesese! But with the 'gentleman' over there, isn't it better that he didn't give you food?"

Alfred thought for a minute. "Yeah! You're right! Well, I agree with Peter, though. Arthur's a jerk!"

Gilbert laughed and Alfred smiled, looking out his window. A sign reading, "Now leaving France," passed and the smile faded.

"H-Hey, Gilbert? Um, where are we going?"

"To Germany, of course!"

"Germany? I don't think that's exactly necessary... I have to get back to my hotel for the night, and y'know, Mattie might get worried about me-"

"Don't worry! I've got it all taken care of!"

Alfred was taken aback. "Oh...Really?"

"Ja! Everything's going awesomely!"



He laughed and allowed his tense shoulders to relax as he placed his hands behind his head. "Y'know, when you say 'ja' all the time, it almost makes you sound like that creepy bastard Russia." Alfred had meant it as a joke, but when he looked over at Gilbert, the Prussian was giving him one of the scariest glares he had ever received.

"Never. Say. That. Bastard's. Name. In. This. Car. Or anywhere else around me, for that matter."

"Dude, hey, easy, it was a joke! And- wait, you hate him too?"

Gilbert shivered. "Ja- Yeah, bastard Russki."

For about twenty minutes, the car ride continued on in silence.

Alfred coughed in an effort to clear the tension.

"H-hey... You wanna get some food?" Gilbert offered, not looking at Alfred as the other turned around with a look of pure joy. He was too busy hiding the slight blush dusting his face.

"Would I?"

Gilbert sighed with relief and grinned at the American.



An hour ago...

Arthur almost jumped as his cell phone started ringing. He was so busy studying his watch that he had forgotten the outside world.

"Yes? This is Arthur Kirland speaking."


"Ow!" He held the phone away from his ear. Could he be any louder? "Blimey, Gilbert! You very well could have blasted my ear off! And can you please refrain from calling me by my 'nickname?' I would expect as much from Alfred, but you're older than me. You should know the rules by now."

"Pfft, like I care. Speaking of the American-"

"Have you seen him?" Arthur blurted out.

"Um, yeah, he's actually sitting right next to me-"

"I'm coming to get him. Where are you?"

"Hahaha! Y-you don't have to do that...I mean, he's all the way out here in Germany..."


"Yeah, I found him, um, passed out at a...bar, yeah, a bar. And so, I didn't know where he was staying, so I decided to take him home until he woke up..."

"What bar?" Arthur asked suspiciously.

"Oh, y'know, some bar in France..."

England sighed. It was way too late to go get Alfred now. Love potion or not, he had major political affairs to take care of before the meeting. He would pick him up in the morning. He sighed again.

"All right, but please, Gilbert, don't do anything," he paused, "strange."

"Haha! Awesome! I'll give him back at the meeting!"

"Very well-WHAT?"

The dial tone sounded.

Matthew looked at Arthur as he seemed to sway.

But being the gentleman he was, he straightened himself up, and decided he would call Ludwig.


http : / www . stars21 . com / translator / english _ to _ german . html

(Just take away the spaces)

German Translations:

Oh Mist! Ich glaube, ich traf jemanden! - Oh crap! I think I hit someone!

Warum, hallo~ Was wir hier tun? - Why, hello~ What do we have here?

He! – Hey!

Ja. – (I'm pretty sure most people know this...) Yes.


The only way America could have gotten to France from England was by train. But somehow, I guess he didn't realize it? (TOTALLY NOT A BLATANT PLOT HOLE.)

Germany is right next to France.

I'm not sure about the Prussia being older than England thing... If any of you can clear that up for me, that would be fantastic ^^;

I GOT MY FIRST LAPTOP SKJDFBSLFKJB *dies* I've been so obsessed with it that my mom actually threatened to confiscate it… But she probably just wants to use it herself… But what she doesn't know is that I set a password to it CB . SHE'LL NEVER GET IN NOW! MWAHAHAHA!

Have fun reviewing, everyone! Until next time, ciao, everyone! *waves while holding a sign with an arrow pointing towards the review button*