Texts from Last Night: Konoha Edition

Yes… it's exactly what it sounds like. Haha. A few sidenotes… I realize that all living in Konoha, they would all presumably have the same area code. For the sake of simplicity, though, I assigned a randomly-chosen area code to each person. I don't own TFLN or Naruto… but this was too good to pass up. Enjoy!


(011):

dude it's official… Anko doesn't wear anything under those fishnets.

(021):

and how do you know this?

(011):

Irrelevant.


(342):

Note to self: the power of gin and tonics will win out over the power of youth just about any day.


(465):

u know that rlly hot akatsuki chick with the blonde hair? yeah, not a chick. will explain later.


(543):

Seeing what was under that mask was definitely not worth what happened afterward.


(465):

I just found about fifty dango sticks stuck into the headboard of my bed in the shape of the letter 'A'. I think I just figured out who came home from the bar with me last night.


(431):

Have you ever had ramen with peanut butter in it?

(317):

u are high, aren't u?


(624):

somebody really should have warned Rock Lee that there's alcohol in cough syrup.

(353):

Like that could be enough to matter.

(624):

clearly you werent at the bar last night.


(543):

Yeah, he SAID he had a condom with him. Psht. Whatever. Just ask Kurenai how that one worked out for her.


(342):

she kept asking me if Kiba actually did it doggy-style.

(433):

you told her no, right?

(342):

are u kidding? I told her 2 go ask him ;)


(011):

Icha icha book signing tomorrow!

(465):

that translates to "drunken house party at Jiraiya's" right?

(011):

duh! u r comin right?

(465):

of course! wouldnt miss it for the world!


(441):

he blamed everything on the stupid kyuubi ,but i don't think the ninetailed fox was what told him it would be a good idea to take 4 shots and start grinding on hinata.


(433):

Then I was like "well who HASNT had dream sex with the kazekage?"


(345):

he told me he was about to leave for an S-ranked mission and it was my civic duty to give him a blow job.

(342):

So did you do it?

(345):

whatEVER. I told him to talk to tsunade. Hopefully he knew I meant to talk to her about cancelling the mission, not about the blowjob. oops.


(353):

And then she asked me to tell her what color lingerie she was wearing. I was like "I just use byakugan on missions, not to be a perv"


(974):

all he would say is "pineapple," over and over and over. i think that was his drunken attempt to call our attention to shikamaru's hair.


(317):

it took like five hours to convince him that just because Temari grew up in the desert that doesnt automatically make her a bellydancer. Then he was really disappointed and started drinking again.


(021):

yes, I imagine he could copy your dance moves with sharingan. No, I don't think he would try.


(224):

We found him under the hokage monuments with a heart drawn on his forehead in wasabi paste. he was still trying to convince us that he was the kazekage so we needed to give him free beer.

(345):

did u do it?

(224):

of course! That was awesome!


Thus concludes chapter one. Thanks for reading! :D