The principal sighed. There was finally peace in his school.
Maya and Larry decided to take a day off to discuss what they were going to do and all the topics they were going to cover together for their first lesson.
The principal finally had the chance to relax without those two bothering him every few seconds. He took a deep breath and then exhaled deeply. He wasted so much oxygen breathing so much unnecessary air.
He took long strides to his desk and sat down on his black leather chair.
He smiled. He continued smiling. He looked like the cat from Alice in Wonderland. He smiled himself to sleep.
In his dreams, he reminisced all the good old times when he was in school.
A girl was running and cussing loudly, chasing after the boy who was obviously running in front of her. She finally caught up to him and extended her hands. She grabbed his shirt violently and then all the buttons on his shirt fell off form the force of the pull. Fearing being killed or eaten alive, the boy kept running for his life and took refuge in a classroom and hide in a dark corner of the room. The girl, tired, but still wanting to hurt him in some way, started kicking tables towards him and then retreated our of the room to think of more evil things to do to him. He was stuck there. The present principal of a school of intelligent well-taught (cough) children was stuck in a deep dark haunted, bloody corner filled with mushrooms and fluffy white lice (the students in the class glued cat hair on each lice body or whatever you call their bodies.
He dared not climb on the tables to escape from the corner he was in. He wanted to stay there for a while. He felt safe there. He felt safe in the classroom.
He promised himself something. He promised himself that he would build a school, become a principal and share this feeling of safety with everyone and spread joy to them.
He dreamed of that and then extended one of his pinkies and then got a fake hand because he couldn't swear pinkies if there was only one pinkie and besides, if he swore both his pinkies, he would have to cut both of them off if he broke his promise to himself. (1)
When he finally thought it was safe, he left the classroom.
He felt something cold and hard being thrown on his back. It was ice.
More ice was being thrown at him by the girl that was chasing him before because of something mean he did to her.
He screamed like a little girl and ran away.
Twenty years later, he finally built a school and hired new teachers. He had many students as well. He smiled a very big smile. He didn't have to cut off his pinkie and feed them to hobos on the street. He was planning to do that because they would be less hungry if he fed them his pinkie. It would help the greater good of hobokind. (2)
Academics, sport, whatever activity you do in school, he managed it well, the only trouble he had was the students and giving them appropriate punishment.
"What is all that noise?" the principal shouted to himself.
He was busy with the work in front of him so he sent the sports teacher to go check it out.
The sports teacher came back with seven students, and he was yelling at them to do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups and fifty of whatever warm up thingy the teacher could think of.
Wanting peace, the principal asked what was wrong.
The sports/gym teacher (whatever you want to call him) explained that the students had been drumming on their tables and made such a ruckus that they had disturbed the other classes that were doing brain surgery on their class pets.
The students didn't want to do the punishment given to them by their sports/gym teacher.
The principal had a thought. Since they loved making noises, and they didn't want to do punishment given to them by the teacher, they would have to do something that could embarrass them, make lots of sounds and is related to sports. He sent them to run laps around the field, making loud noises and sing like hobos on the street who look for money for the entire day.
The next punishment he had given as a principal of a school was when the male students in the class were playing soccer, dirtying the clean walls cleaned daily by very hard working rats who didn't want to help the weird lady who kept singing in the movie Enchanted to clean the toilet.
When they were brought to his office, their whole bodies were wet, covered by lots and lots of sweat.
If he made them run laps in the field, they would be happy because they would be able to play as well.
"You look so wet. Why don't you go dry your clothes?" the principal suggested as their punishment.
The students were amazed that it was not something severe.
Little did they know of the plan the principal had in mind.
As they extended their hands out, holding their wet clothes, they sulked. They had to dry off their clothes in the hot scorching sun, while wearing clown suits because it was against school law to not wear a uniform. And since they didn't have any extra uniform and the school wouldn't lend them some uniforms, all the teachers said that they were lucky that one of the teachers works part-time as a clown.
He was walking to the toilet. He needed a break from all the paperwork he's done. He glared at every ant that passed by him. They died from his glare of utter evilness and desperation to go to the potty.
He saw a student, standing outside the boy's room. He was about to ask him what he was doing there, but then the urge to do his business forced him to visit the wonderful toilet first.
When he exited, he saw the boy still standing there, waving his hands at the staircase. The principal turned his head at the staircase. Over there was a girl walking down the stairs. Upon seeing the principal, the girl ran back upstairs and probably back to her class.
The principal guessed that they were probably dating and were meeting up in front of the toilet.
He approached the boy. He'll deal with the girl later.
"What are you doing here, waiting outside the toilets? At first I thought that you were outside because of the stench from the toilets but now I'm thinking you're scared of the monsters in the toilet bowl. If you're so scared, shouldn't you be in class right now, with the safety of your teachers and friends?" the principal asked.
The boy froze and turned around. "Um, I was just cooling off. It's so hot in class."
"Oh, you were cooling off, were you?" the principal replied, getting cardboard from his bag and writing in big dark letters:
THE PRINCIPAL CAUGHT ME COOLING OFF OUTSIDE THE TOILETS
With that, he stitched it to his uniform and sent him back to his class.
The principal was driving to school. He was incredibly late and was stuck in traffic.
He stuck his head out the window and cussed at all the people in front of him. As he was cussing, he noticed a student from his school walking in a direction away from school and he wasn't even wearing his school uniform.
When he finally arrived in his school, he went to check if the person walking away from school in circular movements was really someone from his school. He was. And he wasn't at school that day.
The next day, the student who skipped school came to school. After stepping foot on school grounds, he was dragged to the principal's office by rapid child-eating bunnies. (3)
"Whaddya want?" the student asked in his gangster-like voice.
"Where were you yesterday?" the principal replied his question with another question, getting straight to the point.
"Why?" Again, the question was replied by another question.
"Answer my question! Don't stray from the topic!"
"My family was sick yesterday, I had to help them. I couldn't just leave them." He started to get emotional.
"I SAW YOU YESTERDAY WALKING AWAY FROM SCHOOL, WEARING WEIRD PURPLE CLOTHES AND WALKING TOWARDS A PLACE THAT HAS NO TOILETS, SO DON'T YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE GOING OUT TO LOOK FOR TOILETS!"
The boy sulked. He knew he couldn't say that anymore.
He explained that the principal has no proof as to show that it was him. It could have been anyone. It could have been his evil twin. We'll never know.
The principal shouted in an obvious fit of rage. "WHO ON EARTH CAN MISTAKE SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOU? YOU'VE GOT SHINY BUBBLE-GUM COLOURED (4) HAIR, HAVE EARINGS ON THE SIDES OF YOUR EARS THAT DANGLE VERY LOW AND ARE SHAPED LIKE FISH. AND OF COURSE, NO CAN MISTAKE YOUR UGLINESS!"
The boy cried and was punished.
He woke up from his dream to find Larry and Maya shouting the word 'poodle' in his ears.
He asked them why. They replied, "It is your name, isn't it?"
The principal groaned. They were back and ready to teach after their one-day break.
A/R: I'm finally finished with this chapter~~ hehe..
I know it's not very funny, nor does it have anything to do with Maya or Larry. I had trouble thinking of a suitable introduction to this story
This story reached five pages! Do you know what that means? It means that I pressed the 'enter' button so many times in this chap! Yay!
My friend: Hey Jasmine, let's swear pinkies! They say that in the olden days in Japan, if you break a promise after swearing your pinkie, they'd cut it off!
Mankind, hobokind, meh, you get my point
This is a flashback. These child-eating bunnies grew into child-eating rabbits.