This is the rewritten version of Kendra's Decision. I'm not especially fond of this story, mostly because my writing was awful when I started this. I'm going to see if I can rewrite it.
Changes: Gavin was framed by the Sphinx and Narvog, and has fought hard for the return of trust. Kendra is also 16.
Nightmares. They are the hidden shapes your mind twists in the darkness. The hollow fear that remains from childhood. The blackness inside your own soul. Every one person believes their own are darker than someone else's. After all, facing your own fear in sleep is harder than hearing of another's while awake.
I can't help what think what people would say if the were able to see mine.
Would they think I'm damaged? Broken? I was already aware of that. Maybe they would find me disturbing or sickening. Maybe it would even drive them insane.
However, the nightmares were sometimes better than facing reality. I could accept the gruesome image that flash behind my eyes when they flutter closed. I wished I could do the same with the constant ache in my chest.
After all, it's harder to face reality than delusion. At least within the nightmares I could pretend he was still by my side. That I didn't have anyone else weighing guiltily on my brain.
But fate works in mysterious ways, and mine was determined to screw me over.
With a sigh, I finally opened my eyes to the reality I had been denying existed. Had hoped didn't exist.
Deciding finally to begin the day, I trudged out of the attic to the shower, bitter thoughts plaguing my mind.
6 months. The amount of time my heart had left a broken, frayed, and bleeding wound aching in my chest. The amount of time Bracken had been gone.
I looked in the mirror before squeezing my eyes shut, trying to erase the image of a gaunt and pale ghost staring back at me.
2 weeks. The length of time when the numbing balm had been added to the wound. When Gavin had returned. Though the numbness was occasionally scratched at with confusion and guilt.
Hopping in the shower I cleared my head. No, it was far too early to be thinking such thoughts. I could at least attempt to bring some life back to myself today. The others had begun to worry. Especially Seth.
After briefly washing, a thought occurred to me on my way back to our room. That irritating satyr was set on visiting today. Verl had yet to get the memo that I am as uninterested as ever. In fact, he has decided it was his task to "fix" me. I may be broken, but I was far from helpless. I am perfectly capable of healing myself, thank you very much. He had just neglected to get the memo.
Getting dressed, I headed downstairs set on speaking with the fairies (least the competent, non-jealous ones) about my newfound features.
Over the course of the last two months, I had started to change. My hair had grown to mid waist, so I had taken to plaiting it loosely over my shoulder or in a bun. It had also begun to take on a silvered hue, like small highlights, or accents. The blond had deepened, looking like I had a hundred different shades of it. My eyes had lightened to an icy blue, but I found they changed to other varying shades when my emotions were high.
My ears have become slightly pointed, and my facial features have taken on a more delicate almost ethereal look. My body shape overall has become that of a graceful dancer's, or a runner's and less like the awkward teenager I had been before. It was as if I was taking on some of the physical attributes of the faeries as well.
While the cause was unknown, Tanu suspects it may have to do with my coming-of-age. Perhaps I was just growing into my fairy-kind inheritance.
Glancing out the window I watched as Seth explained the basics of being an eternal to Gavin. I had chosen to become one shortly after the closing of Zzyzx, hoping to remain with Braken longer. Seth and Tanu had followed not long after.
Only one more eternal is required, and we are in no rush to find one. When the time is right, the last eternal's slot will be filled.
Being so deep in my thoughts, I did not notice Gavin and Seth waving me frantically away from the stables. Had I seen them, I would have been able to remain blissfully ignorant to the return of my heart. My heart which I wasn't sure I wanted at the moment.
Stepping in through the doors into the cool of the stables, I was greeted by my blinding white mare, Fyre.
"Hey girl. Are we ready for a ride today?" I asked gently, petting her forehead lightly. She was still easily spooked from when we found her.
Turning to grab her brush, I was stopped by a wall. A white T-shirt covered wall. More specifically, a man who was at least two heads taller than me. As I looked up to meet his eyes, my open wound began to bleed freely.
I should have let my nightmares consume me.