'BAILEY!' I heard my mum yell from the kitchen.
"Yes mum!' I replied a little too loud.
'Can you please begin unpacking all this crap of yours into your room before I trip and succumb to a serious head injury that may possibly result in death!'
Jeeze mum can be so over reactive sometimes!
'Coming you royal highness!' I yell from the driveway.
I put down the box of old video tapes and placed then on the front porch, possibly to be stolen by some hobbo or whatever.
I looked out across the painfully perfect display of green lawns and faultless houses in which I call modern suburbia. I cringe. So this is where I am to spend the rest of my years of schooling. Yippee! Not.
I sighed and turned my body around to face the front door. Of course it looks flawless. Painted a deep blood red with a shiny vertical, stainless steel door handle. Its modern as with every other thing of this house and neighbourhood. Everything is shiny. Just the way I hate it.
I turn the handle and open the door, ready to face the horrible rathe of my ecstatic hairball of a mother. I call her mum, you may call her nutcase, oddball, psycho, crazy cat lady or, as other nutcases would like to call her, Jeanne.
I walk down the blinding white marble hallway, passing a room on my right overflowing with brown cardboard boxes, I guess this is mums room. Across from mums room on the left looks like the lounge room, mainly because of the large sofa placed in the middle of it, still with its plastic raping on.
I keep walking until I come to a massive open space in the middle of the house. The whole thing must be at least 20 metres in length on each side! In the middle of the room there is a massive shiny stainless steel kitchen with a brown marble bench top, the latest kitchen appliances can be seen all around it. Mum's standing behind the bench fiddling around with a stack of dinner plates. The stack looking like it's going to give up and plummet to its death on the white tiled floor.
'Oh for heaven sake!' Mum groans. 'Bailey, stop staring at my pain and do something progressive for once. As usual I am left with all the unpacking and your just standing around moping about everything wrong in your life.'
'Moping!' I heard my voice go up an octave. 'I am not moping around! And I am doing something progressive!'
"Oh yeah, please do tell me this act of progressiveness that you have so far achieved.'
'I haven't gotten that far yet but that's not the point.'
'Then what is the point?' Mum put the stack of plates up on the bench top. Clearly struggling. Look Bailey all I want from you is to help me out around the house. I know it's not easy living without dad.'
'Yeah it is!' I threw my hands up in the air, they then slapped against my hips as they came down again. 'Haven't you realized that the only reason that I have been moping about is because you decided that it would be best for us to leave dad! And now look!' I motioned my arms down my body. 'Look at me mum! I'm a mess, I haven't slept properly in weeks! My stomach feels disgusting and always making me want to throw up, I haven't eaten in days! And you think that moving away was a good idea!'
Mum stared at me obviously shocked by my sudden outburst of hormones. Her mouth was hanging open, she tried to move it into some sort of speech but she looked as if she couldn't find anything to say. As she should. I won this argument, now to finish it up.
I bent down to pick up a box with the words 'BAILEYS CRAP' scribbled on it.
'I'm going to now begin unpacking my junk. If you need me I'll be in my room.' I turned around to face a second hallway parting off to the various bathrooms and bedrooms of this bloody horror house.