Hello. I've seen many "things … is not allowed to do", so I wanted to do one myself. I like Tobirama (and Hashirama, Izuna and Madara, of course 3) I do not own Naruto (this isn't called a FANfiction just for fun, you know…)
Warning: Yaoi, stupid jokes and crazy author.
This is only my second fanfic in English so sorry if there are mistakes.
1. The potted plant in the Hokage's office is not planning to take over the world and Tobirama must not tell his students it does.
2. Madara Uchiha is not a vampire and Tobirama must not tie him to a chair and push him in a ray of sunshine to "see if he sparkles like Edward Cullen"
3. The Care Bears are not demons from hell and Tobirama must not say they are.
4. Tobirama must not tell Hiruzen how to use Enma in perverted ways while the Monkey King uses his Transformation: Adamantine Staff.
5. The Mokuton is a powerful NINJA technique and Hashirama will never agree to use it to make tomatoes grow faster, no matter how drunk he is, so Tobirama should stop asking.
6. Yes, Tsunade was cute in her little dress at her third birthday, but Tobirama must not force his students to wear pink dresses to "recreate this wonderful event"
7. Tobirama must not pay Hiruzen to ask Hashirama in the middle of an important council reunion where do babies come from. That wasn't funny.
8. Tobirama must not keep saying in a childish voice "Tobi is a good boy" because now, it's stuck in Madara's head.
9. Tobirama must not teach Tsunade to say "bitch" . Now, she says it everytime somebody enters the room.
10. Uchiha don't eat brains and Tobirama must not tell his students they do.
11. Tobirama must not dye his brother's hair crazy colors. "But it's the new fashion" is not an excuse to do so.
12. Tobirama must not throw peanuts at Madara. Never.
13. Again, Madara is not a vampire and Tobirama must not attack him with a garlic clove.
14. Tobirama must not make Hashirama piggy tails and put make up on his face while he is sleeping. The people at the council reunion didn't find that funny.
15. Tobirama must not dress up like Sherlock Holmes and try to find if Madara really stole Izuna's eyes.
16. Running naked in the Uchiha quarter is not funny and Tobirama must not do so, even if it was a bet.
17. The Inuzuka aren't werewolves and Tobirama is not allowed to run after them with a silver axe to "purify the world from the evil werewolves"
18. "You should go see a psychologist" did not mean "stare at him for two hours". Tobirama should know that at his age.
19. Tobirama must not force his brother to wear a mini skirt. It took five hours for Madara to stop nosebleeding.
20. Tobirama is not allowed to use his Suiton jutsus on Izuna and then sing "I can see clearly now the rain is gone". This is not a good joke, even if his students were rolling on the floor laughing.
21. Yes, Tsunade likes stories. However, that doesn't mean Tobirama is allowed to tell her Hannibal Lecter's story.
22. Forcing Hashirama and Madara to kiss in front of the whole village is wasn't a good idea, no matter how they liked it.
23. Orochimaru is not the hidden son of Marilyn Manson and Michael Jackson and Tobirama must not tell his students he is.
24. Tobirama must not laugh like a manic while taking a shower. That's creepy.
25. Tobirama must not say random things at random moments, such as "Gotta catch 'em all" while playing shogi or "BANANA PHONE!" when Hiruzen, Koharu and Homura are studying.
26. In Fall, leaves are falling, but that does not mean they want to kill everybody and eat their flesh and Tobirama must stop saying so.
27. Laughing hysterically when it's silent is just another proof of your insanity. (A.N.: … I just called myself insane…)
28. Tobirama must not be so overprotective with Tsunade. It's normal if men call her Tsunade-hime… It's Hashirama's job to hit them with a stick, so Tobirama should give him back "Exterminator" the stick.
29. Singing "Under the sea" by the Little Mermaid will not convince Hashirama to use Suiton jutsus so Tobirama should stop singing it.
30. In fact, Tobirama is not allowed to sing. At all.
31. Tobirama must not scream "GROUP HUG!" at the end of council reunions.
32. Tobirama can date Izuna Uchiha if he want to, but, that doesn't mean Hashirama needs to know EXACTLY what they did. Especially when they spend the night together.
33. Tobirama must not give Playboy magazines to Hiruzen for his birthday. We all already know you two are perverts.
34. Danzo may be Hiruzen's rival, but Tobirama is not allowed to sing "U.G.L.Y." when he sees him.
35. Yes, Chiyo of Suna's grandson likes puppets, but that doesn't mean Tobirama can call him "Pinocchio"
36. This list is not toilet paper. Tobirama must remember it.
37. The Forest of Death is not a good place for a camping week-end with his students.
38. Izuna is not the Wizard of Oz because he gave his eyes to his brother. Tobirama must not forget it.
39. For God's sake, stop telling your "knock knock" jokes to everybody!
40. Tobirama must not form an alliance with Madara to eliminate Hashirama's wife.
41. Tobirama must not say ", my awesome brother!" each time he sees Hashirama, This isn't considered as apologizes.
42. Tobirama must not tell the Uchiha brothers to wear bikinis. Nosebleeding on important papers is not very practical.
43. Tobirama must not throw random round-shaped fruits at Hashirama while yelling "Pikachu! I choose you!"
44. Super Mario likes Princess Peach. He did not rape Luigi, and Tobirama must not say he did.
45. Tobirama must not jump on Madara while screaming "HUG TIME!"
46. Hashirama is NOT Madara's bitch.
47. Madara is not Lady Gaga…
48.…Nor he is Captain Hook.
49. Tobirama must not consider this list as a To Do list."
-You two do realize that Tobirama-kun will probably do everything on that list, do you? Izuna asked.
Madara nodded gloomily, and Hashirama sighed.
The Hokage looked down at the street…
-What the… Tobirama! What the heck are you doing?
Madara silently added to the list:
50. Tobirama is not allowed to throw eggs at random people while dressed as Michael Jackson.
Yeah, some were really random...