It was a very boring Tuesday afternoon in The Castle That Never Was. Dangerously boring. Demyx sighed, shuffling through the hallway of the castle. "There's nothing to do…" he whined. "I'm so bored, I can't stand it…" He heard slight noises coming from Xigbar's room. Hmmm… Maybe Xiggy has something fun for me to do… he thought, wandering over to the Freeshooter's den.

He cracked open the door, and peeked inside. Xigbar had on headphones, and was bobbing his head slightly to the beat. He was chewing gum, and had his head tilted in concentration as he aimed one of his guns at a little outline of a person pinned up on the wall. Target practice, no doubt.

Demyx strode in. "Xigbar…!" he called. Xigbar didn't hear him. He shot a few times at the drawing's head. He was a little off. Huffing angrily, he took aim again.

"Xiiiiiiiiig-baaaaaaaar!" Demyx shouted, a little louder.

No response.


Xigbar's eye twitched. "WHAT?" he snapped, lowering his gun. He pulled down his head phones, and blew out a huge purple bubble from his mouth, glaring at Demyx. He obviously wasn't in the best of moods since his aim was off that day.

"I'm boooooored…" Demyx moaned.

Xigbar shrugged, moodily. He popped the bubble, and stuffed the gum back in his mouth. "So? What do ya want ME to do about it?" He stuck his earphones back in his ears, and turned his attention back to his target. He was just about to pull the trigger, when…


"What is it, you annoying little PRICK?" Xigbar growled, his eyes flashing angrily. He was NOT in the mood for Demyx's idiotic behavior right then…

Demyx was silent a moment, then moaned, "Booooor-reeeeee-duh…"

Xigbar sighed, rubbing his temples. It was pretty obvious to him now that Demyx wouldn't leave him alone 'til he gave him something to do. "Hold on…" he grumbled, fishing around in his pockets.

He dug around for a few seconds, then pulled out a small, violet water-gun out of his pocket. "Here… Go bug someone else with this," he grumbled, tossing the gun at Demyx. He aimed at the drawing once more, his single eye narrowed into a slit. "Now, piss off."

"AWSOME!" Demyx shouted, grinning at the small toy. He cleared his throat, and said in his "tough guy" voice, "I'm a loose cannon cop, who lives life on the edge, and doesn't play by the rules…"

Xigbar snorted, slightly. Heh… Imagine that.

Demyx giggled, filled it with water, and chirped, "Well…! See ya later, Xiggy!"

He was about to leave, when Xigbar lowered his gun to his side. "Hold on…"

"Hmmm?" Demyx blinked, then turned around to look at the Freeshooter. "What is it, Xiggy?"

Xigbar was silent a while, then said in a tough, New York accent, "It's a tough world out there, see? I don't wanna see ya get hurt…" He turned around, his face grim. "Just be sure ya make it back in one piece, okay, kid?"

Demyx giggled slightly, cleared his throat, and said in a horrible imitation of Xigbar's tough voice, "Got it. Even if they kill me, I will make it back in one piece. Uh… See?" He giggled some more, the waved. "See ya, Xigbar! Thanks for the gun!" He scurried off.

Xigbar smiled slightly, shook his head, and aimed at the target, and shot. Bull's eye! SHAZZAM! he thought, pumping his fist up into the air.


Demyx scampered from shadow to shadow, glancing around suspiciously. Let's see… Who should be the first victim for me…? He thought for a second, then snapped his fingers. "Of course… Zexion!" he murmured, grinning. He scampered over to Zexion's room, silently.

He opened the door quietly, looking around. Zexion was lying on his bed, reading some kind of magazine – he couldn't really tell what, though. Demyx flung the door open, and aimed the gun at Zexion's head. "Mind if I come in…?" he asked.

"Sure," Zexion answered, without even looking up.

Demyx crept up to the unsuspecting member, still aiming at his head.

"So… What do you—"

"It's curtains for you," Demyx growled.

"Huh?" Zexion looked up just as Demyx pulled the trigger. He got hit right between the eyes. He blinked, then said, dryly, "Oh no… I'm dead."

"Yup!" Demyx chirped, nodding. "Where are the others?"

Zexion wiped his face, then looked back at his magazine. "You're asking me? I thought I was dead."

Demyx blinked. "Uh… Well, um… You're HALF dead!"

Zexion sighed, rolling his eyes. "They're still in their rooms I presume… Why not go check it out?"

"Thanks!" Demyx whipped out his gun, and shot Zexion in the face again.

Zexion glared at him.

"Now you're ALL dead!" Demyx shouted, grinning.

"Whatever…" Zexion grumbled, wiping his face again.

That's when Demyx examined the magazine Zexion was reading… Like… really looked at it. "Hey… You're not supposed to be reading THOSE kinds of magazines, Zexion!" he protested.

"Oh, shut up," Zexion grumbled, opening it back to the page he was on. "You're not my mother…"

Demyx narrowed his eyes. "… I'm tellin' Xemnas…"

"Nonsense. You'd never do that."

"Why not?"

"Because, dear Waterboy…" Zexion paused to lick his finger and turned the page. "… If you did that, then Saix would know exactly what happened to his precious cheesecake that cost him 3,000 munny and—"

"Well, gotta go, Zexxy! Things to do, people to see, you understand – BYE!" Demyx dashed off.

Zexion watched him run off, then looked back at his magazine. "… Moron."


Luxord sighed. He was at his computer desk, happily snuggling with a plushy that looked like Xigbar. On his computer, you could see a "Party Poker" window up, and, obviously, he was the winner of the game. He didn't seem to be paying it any mind, though. "Ah… How I wish this were the real you…" he sighed, smiling at his beloved plushy.

Suddenly, Demyx kicked the door open. "LUXORD!" he shouted, dashing in.

"Oh, crap!—" Luxord quickly shoved the plushy into a drawer below his desk. He quickly whipped around. "D-Demyx! What are you—?"

Demyx raised his gun. "You must be tired of livin'."

Luxord glanced at the gun, and ended up with an instant spaz attack. "GWAAAAGH! H'OH MY GAWD, HE'S GOT A GUN! HEEEELP!" He stood up so fast, that his chair fell over. He tried to get away, but he actually ended up tripping backwards on the chair. He flailed his arms around, trying to regain his balance, but ended up sprawling on his back anyways. To make it worse, his legs were now tangled in the chair.

"Ow…" he whimpered.

"Heh heh heh…" Demyx chuckled, evilly, as he stalked over to his prey. He raised the gun to Luxord's head, smirking.

"No!" Luxord yelped, raising his hands to shield his face. "Demyx, DON'T! I—"

"Save your excuses for the devil." With that, Demyx shot Luxord point blank on the head.

Luxord flinched, then blinked, confused. He wiped the liquid off his face. "W… Water…?" he asked, staring at it, incredulously.

Demyx clutched his stomach, and started roaring with laughter. "Well, DUUUUUR! You thought I'd really shoot you?" He started laughing even more, leaning on Luxord's desk for support. He even started banging his fist on it. Tears appeared in the corner of his eyes. "H'OH MY GAWD! WHAT AN IDIOT! BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

Luxord blinked, looked down at his hand with water on it, and started flailing his arms about, angrily. "AAAAAGHHHH! I can't believe you TRICKED me!" he screamed.

"I can't believe you FELL for it!" Demyx laughed back. "HAHAHA! What a doofus!" He started to walk off, still giggling to himself.

Luxord felt his cheeks turn hot. "HEY! Show some respect for your elders!"

"HA! You sound like Vexen!" Demyx stopped at the door frame and waved. "Ta-ta!"

He slammed the door behind him.


Roxas was sitting on the edge of his bed, reading a thick book. He looked genuinely interested in it.


"Wha'?" Roxas yelped, looking up.

Demyx was crouching just out side of his bedroom, his head on the floor. "One…" he was whispering to himself. "Two… Three!" He pushed off a little, and slowly rolled inside.

"FREEZE! NON-STOP!" he shouted, jumping up, and aiming at Roxas. His hair now looked like he'd been running around, sticking forks in power sockets, but he didn't really care at that moment.

Roxas flinched. He slipped a Keyblade bookmark into his book, and held up his hands up. "Uh… Demyx…? What are you—?"

"ROXAS!" Demyx yelled, stalking forward. "I know what you've been up to!"

Roxas blinked, now completely confused. "…Huh?"

Demyx's eyes narrowed. He aimed the gun at Roxas' head once more. "You're better off dead."

"Wait, WHA—Ahhhh!" Roxas held up his hands to shield his face from the little squirts of water. "Demyx! STOP!" he shouted.

Demyx grinned maliciously. "Still alive, huh…?" He shot Roxas even more.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" Roxas screamed. Finally, he collapsed on his bed. "Okay, okay, I'm DEAD! Ya happy now!" he shrieked.

Demyx stared at him for a few moments, then turned around, and started walking out the door. "… I don't kill minors…" he said, coolly.

Roxas watched him walk out of his room. "Idiot…" he grumbled, reaching for his book again, and wiping his face. "You just DID!"

To be continued…


And now for a message from your lord and savior!

So I finally decided to get off my ass and do this 4 rl rl, and not for play play. After about... a year or so, I'm finally committing to my account! Wowee! So don't be surprised if you suddenly see a flood of new submitted... things.

Anyways. In most of my fanfics ( though in none of the ones that I have currently posted... . *cough* ), Demyx is Xigbar's... Well, I guess you could say "apprentice". This is how it started... But, yeah, before this, the two were fighting like mad dogs CONSTANTLY! XDDD

This is HUGELY inspired by a manga that I have. XD Yotsuba&! book... Uh... Two, I think. XD The main character ( a little girl, maybe about 6 ) went around shooting people with a squirt gun. ( dur. XD ) And I did a "ZOMGZERS, THIS IS SO CUTE, LOLZ! XD" From that point, I knew that I just HAD to use it somewhere... XD

At first it was gonna be Xigbar, but then I decided, "Nah - it'd be better if Demyx done it. XD"

Demyx shooting Saix in the middle of his scar was done in a comic by a person on Deviantart named Psycrowe. I don't think she does much KH fan stuff, but you should still check out her amazing works of amazingness.