Chapter 1: Restoring the Balance of The Universe, Or Whatever.


A/N: This is my first Glee fic, and I'm pretty excited about it 'cause it's a Puckleberry! YAY! Funny thing is, I used to be all for Finn/Rachel until i started reading Puckleberry fics, and now I've been totally converted. AHH! Anyways, hope you like it, tell me what you think :) I hope everyone's in character.


Puck doesn't want to admit it, but he likes Rachel Berry's crazy. It's this totally messed up feeling that he refuses to acknowledge to himself, but it's there.

How Puck felt about Rachel was something out of the third grade. You see even Puck, the total badass stud that he is, used to chase girls around the playground, push them in the mud and pull their pigtails. When he really liked a girl, he would try to rhyme her name with poo and tell everyone she had cooties.

Of course, sooner rather than later, they would end up playing doctor in his basement. Santana Lopez slapped him in the face when he told her that her hair looked stupid, but a half an hour later he was kissing her for the first time behind the jungle gym while Finn kept a lookout.

So...throwing slushies in Rachel Berry's face for years? Well, it might have just been some other twisted Puck sign of affection. Or something.

I mean, there was no denying that Rachel was totally hot. A totally hot Jew. Something he could identify with himself. Puck also had a major thing for the school girl look, so Rachel's short skirts and knee highs kind of drove him mad. And when she got that crazy Rachel look in her eyes he was torn between be completely scared off and shoving her into a janitor's closet to have his way with her. Totally messed up, I know.

But ever since that Jesse douche left New Directions to go back to Vocal Adrenaline and Rachel's crazy little heart got broken, she's been totally not herself. Puck is sure he can't be the only one who notices. She doesn't fight Kurt and Mercedes for solos, she's stopped correcting everyone's singing techniques, she's stopped forcefully fixing Finn's shit dance moves, and he gets no response what so ever from her when he cracks a dirty joke.

It's the fucking Twilight Zone. And yes, he's watched that show, and its badass.

So when he finds Rachel's pink sparkly binder lying lonely in the hallway after basketball practice he snatches it up before Finnessa can, and decides he's going to have to restore the balance of the universe or whatever.

Puck's only met one of Rachel's dads once and it was the day they'd ended up making out on her bed.
Puck thought he had seemed nice enough, but he'd understood instantly why Rachel was so intense.
Rachel's dad (the short one with glasses) had talked to him way too much about absolutely nothing and had all but offered to do his dry cleaning before Rachel had yanked him upstairs to work on the mashup.

Pssh. She just couldn't resist the guns of Puckerone.

But Anyway, this time when Puck had knocked on the Berrys' door, clutching that pink, sparkly thing, it was Rachel's other dad who answered and Puck almost shit himself. The guy had to have been about 10 feet tall. He also had giant badass muscles, and did I mention he was freaking tall? Puck was about to pretend to be collecting for a charity or something (because he generally did not do well with giant wrestler fathers), when the man broke out into a wide grin.

"Are you here for Rachel?" the man said in a deep voice, "You're in Glee club with her, right?"

Puck forced a smile and simply nodded.

"Well," the man opened the door and let him in, "Come on in." The man glanced upstairs. "I'm glad one of Rachel's friends has stopped by. She's been in a complete funk lately, and she won't tell me anything." The tall man sighed. "Do you know what's going on? Does it have to do with Jesse? He hasn't been by in awhile." Puck took in a breath.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "They broke up, I guess."

"Oh." Her father said, sadly, "Poor Rachel...Well she's upstairs in her room, first door on the left."

Puck gave a small smile of thanks and began to walk up the stairs. The whole conversation had been a bit awkward, but he was glad to have had a conversation with a girl's father that didn't end with him scrambling for his clothes and jumping out a window.

"She's listening to country music again." Her father called up, "she does that when she's sad."

When Puck reached Rachel's door, he heard the twanging of a woman's voice floating through the door into the hallway.
Now feeling totally wierd for coming, he knocked on the door lightly.

Then he regretted it, because what if she had been changing and he hadn't knocked and he'd gotten to see her boobs?
He had been dreaming about her again lately. Ever since that stupid theatricality assignment. Only now when she climbed in his window, she was dressed in her Gaga costume(the second hotter one), and she would ask him if she could take a ride on his disco stick. Totally hot.

"Come in" he heard in a morose tone so he opened the door to find Rachel lying limply on her bed. When she saw it was him she sat up quickly.

"Noah!" She exclaimed, straightening out her clothes. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot this in the middle of the hallway." He said, holding up the binder. She looked at and then at him.

"How did you know it was mine?" She asked, softly. Puck gave her an incredulous look and looked at the binder again.

"It's pink and sparkly and it has gold stars all over it." He shoved it into her hands and smirked.

"Oh." She looked back at up him sadly. "Thanks for returning it."

I fall to pieces each time I see you again

I fall to pieces how can I be just your friend

The woman's voice warbled out of Rachel's stereo as Puck walked paced leisurely around Rachel's room.

"What's with the music?" He asked. "Doesn't seem like what you usually listen to..." Rachel sighed deeply and set her binder aside.

"Patsy Cline is known for having one of the most emotionally expressive singing voices of the country music genre. Her contralto voice is inspiration for various musical genres, one of which is show music. We can all learn from the pain she expresses through her voice." She turned to look at Puck. He couldn't help but notice her musical lecture was missing its usual pep.

"Berry..." Puck began, sitting next to her on her bed. "Is this about that Jesse douchebag? Because that guy's a tool. And Vocal Adrenaline's not gonna win." He gave Rachel his cockiest look. "And if they do, I'll beat them up, and steal their trophy."

Rachel looked at him like he was crazy.

"Noah, that is ridiculous." She began, "You can't steal their trophy, I mean first of all it would have Vocal Adrenaline's name on it, and not ours, and it wouldn't change anything because they still would have won, and you would probably go to jail. Also, there's way too many of them to beat up. And what about the girls?
Are you going to beat up women, Noah?" Rachel looked at him indignantly crossing her arms across her chest.

Resisting the urge to stare at the way her boobs were pressed against each other because of the action, he smirked at the old crazy Rachel slowly coming back.

"Are you questioning my badassness?" He teased her, leaning his head in. Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes at him, but he saw her trying to resist a smile. For a moment, they were just staring at each other smiling, so close they could feel each other's body heat. This felt strangely familiar to the last time he was here and she had roped him into doing Run Joey Run.

Puck, suddenly realizing how close they were, stood up quickly needing to get out of there.
"So, I should probably go now." Puck managed awkwardly, running a hand over his closely shaved head.

Rachel looked at him confused, and then slowly nodded. "Okay." She stood up and walked towards him. Smiling softly she stood up on her tiptoes, and before Noah er-Puck could figure out what was happening she was kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank-you, Noah." She chirped, and placed her hands on his arms, looking him square in the face. Trying to push aside all feelings of lust and whatever else for this hot Jewish girl in front of him, he swallowed and looked down at her.

"Hey, no problem, I mean I know you actually care about school, so you probably need your binder."

"Well, that yes," she smiled, "but also, for, well..." she trailed off and looked down. Puck's face grew serious.

"No problem, Berry." He said, touching her shoulder, and opening her door to leave. Turning one last time, "Hey, We could always make out." He leered at her.

Rachel let out a laugh, and rolled her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Noah." She said chuckling as she pushed him out of the door playfully and closed it in front of him.

Puck felt a little dissapointed. He was totally serious about the making out.

As he was walking down the stairs, he shuddered a bit at his realization. He was totally crazy hot for crazyass Berry.


TBC! Please Review :)