Laverne lands with a *thud* in the middle of an empty parking lot.
Laverne: (screaming) Shirl? Shirl, where are ya?
Shirley: (fixing her rumpled clothing) Over here – thank you very much!
Laverne: (running over to her) Shirl! I'm sorry that I pushed ya like that...I just...
Shirley: (interrupting) Well, you should be sorry! You could have killed me!
Laverne: (sheepishly) Do ya forgive me?
Shirley: I'll have to think about it.
Ryan Seacrest appears on top of a nearby dumpster.
Ryan: I see you made it here unharmed – how miraculous. I usually have to spend an hour cleaning blood from the pavement.
Ryan: But I digress. Laverne and Shirley, welcome to Futureville!
Laverne: Futureville is a parking lot?
Ryan: Of course not, Laverne. We're waiting here for your guides to come.
Shirley: Our guides?
Ryan: Did I fail to tell you? I will not be showing you around Futureville. You see, I'm already seven minutes late for the taping of American Idol. Randy Jackson is trying to stall the audience by singing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" while Ellen DeGeneres does a pole dance, but the audience is getting angry because Kara DioGuardi is prancing around the stage in a bikini. The show is crumbling before my eyes. I sure wish Simon would come soon.
Laverne: Your soul mate?
Ryan: That's right. You are learning.
Suddenly, three cars pull into the parking lot. The first is brown station wagon, the second is a red Mustang, and the third is a blue pick-up truck.
Ryan: Look! They have arrived.
The cars park. Three male strangers get out of the cars and begin to walk toward Laverne, Shirley, and Ryan.
Ryan: Laverne DeFazio, I would like you to meet your guide, Mel Gibson. Mel, this is Laverne.
Laverne: Nice to meet ya, Mel.
Mel Gibson: I wish I could say the same.
Ryan: Shirley Feeney, this is your guide, Alec Baldwin.
Alec Baldwin: How do you do? (kisses her hand)
Shirley: Oh, my! (giggles)
Laverne: (to Shirley) Can I have yours? Mine seems like a creepo.
Shirley: Nuh-uh, sister! What goes around comes around!
Laverne: Aww! Come on!
Ryan: Girls, there is no time to waste. We must make haste. Laverne, go with Mel in the blue pick-up truck.
Laverne: No fair! Shirley gets the Mustang too?
Ryan: No, Laverne. The Mustang is for me and Simon.
Simon Cowell: (to Ryan) Hi, sweetheart.
Ryan: Hey, honey.
Laverne: (wide-eyed) Shirl, are you seein' what I'm seein'?
Shirley: Ryan and Simone's true love?
Laverne: Simone? Do you not see two men kissin' there?
Shirley: Laverne! Don't be stupid! That's obviously an ugly woman.
Laverne: Oh, yeah? How can you tell?
Shirley: Look at its chest.
Laverne: Whoa! I guess you're right.
Ryan and Simon stop kissing.
Ryan: Laverne...Shirley...I must bid you adieu. Remember, this is your one chance to change your destinies. Follow your hearts.
Alec: (to Shirley) Come with me, my lovely.
Shirley: (giggles) Anything you say, sailor boy!
They get into the station wagon and drive away.
Mel: Ehh...come on, woman.
Laverne: "Woman?" Look, buddy, I could beat the...
Mel grabs Laverne by the arm, throws her in the pick-up truck, and drives away.
Ryan: Will Laverne and Shirley be able to change the future? We'll find out...right after the commercial break.