Yet Another Snape Meets the Dursleys Story: by rabbit
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Still belongs to JKRowling. Still.
Lagniappe : A Letter to Smeltings
Dear Dudley (you never thought you'd ever see me write that, did you? Me neither!),
Here is the book you asked for. Hermione says that of all the books that her parents got when they first found out she was a witch, Magic for Muggles was the one that made the most sense, even though it does sound pretty patronizing. I read it and she's right – even though I wish someone had given me a copy when I first got my letter to Hogwarts, because I certainly was confused, the way it's written kind of sets my teeth on edge. But if you can ignore that, it's okay. And the pictures won't move unless you tap on them three times deliberately so you don't have to worry about other people seeing it. (The picture of me won't move at all. Colin promised he did it the Muggle way.)
Hermione says can you do me a favor and check on the Internet (she can't use it at Hogwarts because electrical stuff like computers don't work here) and see what you can find out about mermaids and mermen, especially Marmenill and Magyagr? Some kinds of merfolk are in my book on magical creatures, but most of the northern ones disappeared after a conference that the wizards held in 1750 about hiding magical creatures from Muggle notice, and Hermione thinks that maybe they decided to hide from wizards too because they're shapechangers like werewolves are. But Ron says that he's heard stories about them, and they're not really like selkies or merrows because they're not seals in their other shape but a kind of siren and really dangerous because they come ashore and every few generations they have to have human husbands and wives in order to have kids like selkies do, only their kids don't always go back to sea the way that selkie kids do. They're not like the merpeople who live in the lake by Hogwarts, anyway, because I've seen them and they've got scales like fish do instead of fur like a seal would and anyway, they can't change shape.
When you get a chance write me a letter and let me know how your diet is working and how school's going and stuff. The address is...
Author's note: I direct you to the articles in wikipedia on "Steller's sea cow", nictating membrane" "siren" and "mermaid", and suggest that if you start googling Norway or Iceland and mermaids and sirens you'll end up being as lost on the net as I am.