Authors Notes: A nice little H/Hr one shot. Reviews are welcome.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
I am small
Warm me up
And breathe me
-Sia Breathe me
Hermione Granger looked into the fire listlessly, as if not seeing the fire there at all. Her long hair hung over her face and her wrinkled jeans and tee-shirt told a story of a rumpled night. A forgotten cup of cold tea sat next to the old chair that the young Gryffindor had placed herself on. She took a deep breath but felt nothing, she was hallow, empty. Her eyes no longer bore the emotion that she once held as a young teenager. The young witch couldn't help but wonder,
"What is happening to you Hermione."
Hermione pursed her dry lips and ran her tongue over the cracking skin. A part of her dared to scream, But nothing came to her. She let out a tiny puff of breath that wouldn't even attract notice if she was around anyone. At 17 she felt as if she was already becoming an empty shell of her former self.
Nothing could ever keep her from thinking, but this week had been quite the exception.
Everything in her life had been turned upside down in a matter of months. Every thing that would've effected her so deep just wouldn't sink into her bones any longer.
The house was unaffected by her intake of oxygen. It sat as it always had, stilled, and unmoving.
Number 12 Grimmauld Place was no longer the bustling hope of the order that it used to be.
A darkness had fallen over the large old house. Few came and went now. The house itself almost felt dead, as if no longer wanting to participate in a lost cause. Even the creaks in the house seemed to stand still, almost sensing the approaching events that would be soon to come. There were still a few that chose to call this place a haven, but even the remaining members of the order found it hard to regroup in times like this.
There was no plan, planning had become obsolete. Everything about this war had some sort of plan, but as time went on too many losses had occurred. Sirus, Dumbledore, and now Ron. The unexpected was constantly knocking on the door of the light, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.
Hermione closed her eyes shut and blinked back the tears that would not come as she went through the last weeks events. Everything felt so disconnected, almost as if this whole ordeal was just a bad dream.
Ron was gone.
No one knew a thing of where he was or if someone took him, and as far as Hermione knew, she didn't believe that Ron being taken was a possibility at all. Unlike Harry, Hermione had an acute sense of observation. She could taste this, feel this coming.
She knew he would run, just like he had ran away from her and Harry during the Horcrux hunt.
She had watched the boy she had called her best friend, the boy she once fancied, turn into someone she didn't even know.
Hermione noticed the change once the trio had started the hunt for the unknown objects. They had been required to stick together in every way possible to avoid the onslaught of danger. They would stay anywhere and everywhere as long as they went unnoticed, which wasn't easy. From dingy motels to anywhere in nature that would would provide some sort of haven of safety. They avoided practicing magic as much as possible in case death eaters lurked near. They were Everywhere.
Ron slowly started to detach himself from Her and Harry throughout the hunt. She would watch him lurk in the shadows, sometimes silent or unmoving for hours in the night. He refused to eat most days, claiming that eating was useless when you were going to die. His demeanor was near violent, and it was becoming more common for Ron's verbal interaction with them to be as cold as his actions towards them.
Harry was at a lost of words for the first friend he had ever made at Hogwarts and Hermione would choke back her tears as she watched the hurt flash in his brilliant green eyes.
Her and Harry grew close over these times and clung together for life support as Ron slowly faded into the back round. Hermione could even smell the fear on him, it disgusted her.
And when Ron ran away months into the hunt without a word, she couldn't help not feeling terribly surprised.
Now it was up to her and Harry, just the two of them. It was far from easy.
Some nights Harry would thrash violently in the small bed they shared, sweat poured from his body and his voice would almost appear trapped inside of him as if cursed. His nightmares had grown worse over the course of the year, and she had the feeling that they wouldn't be getting better.
Hermione would awake instantly as if shaken from sleep and roll over to him. He would always grab her as if she was the only thing keeping him to earth, as if nothing else would relieve him of the pain. It broke her heart into pieces. Sometimes Harry called for her, other times for Ron.
But Hermione knew things had permanently changed once Harry only started calling for her, never again mentioning their other best friend in his half dream states. She had to stay strong for Harry.
After nine long months, the mission was complete. Harry and Her returned successful and unharmed, without Ron. Both of them had come to find out that Ron had returned to the burrow after running from them. Harry didn't hear a thing from any of the other Weasleys. All of them silent in their youngest boys betrayal. Even Arthur Weasely kept his distance from The Order.
People were changing, and it was starting to get under Hermione's skin. Light and Dark no longer mattered. It seems the only thing people wanted to do was fight for themselves.
Once she and Harry had settled back in with The Order the dark silence took over. It was a waiting game for them all now. They has destroyed everything that stood between them and The Dark Lord and all they could do is wait for the death eaters to make their move. Even Severus Snape kept communication with The Order to a minimum with the darkness looming. Without his console or his information, The Order had nothing on the plans of Voldermort.
Then, almost as if blending into the dark, Ron was gone.
Hermione finally snapped out of her thoughts and and unfolded her legs. Her messy auburn hair tickling her face as she shifted on the croaking chair. The door to the library slowly creaked open and her head snapped up, preparing to verbally attack anyone who dared enter the only area she considered a safe haven from The Order in the house. But her words stopped short as she caught sight of the messy black hair and wire glasses. She relaxed and leaned back to stare into the fire once more.
Harry shuffled quietly to the chair facing the fire, his presence only went noticed by Crookshanks who lazily raised his head from one of the bookshelves he has chose to perch himself on near the heat of the fire.
Harry stopped short in front of the chair where Hermione continued to stare blankly, as if she was still seeing the fire and not her best friend. Her eyes were blank as she continued to stare through him.
"Hermione." His voice was barely a whisper.
She didn't look into his eyes or move her head. But at the sound of her name she blinked, and a lone tear trailed slowly down her face to the corner of her lip. The water coming from her eye almost felt completely foreign on her skin.
Harry fell to his knees in front of her, the loud thump was enough to make her raise her head to meet the sullen green eyes she had come to know over the years. His body was mere inches from her unfolded limp legs. His breathing was shallow and pained, almost sounding like a wounded animal that had fallen, and couldn't get up.
Nothing in the world broke her heart as much as Harry Potter's pained expression that graced his features. When she stared into his eyes she felt her own eyes brim with tears she didn't even know existed. They fell down in faster threads, coating her entire face within minutes. She didn't know how long they sat there with Harry on his knees in front of her. She choked out a sob and breathed in the saliva that had caught in her mouth from crying.
"Harry, promise you'll never leave me. I can't stand to lose my heart. I'll be all by myself if you're gone, I..I..can't go on...if something happens to you...I just..." her breathing was uneven and matched her friends emotional vigor. He choked at her words and began to cry.
Harry's head dropped to his best friends legs where he found the pants she was wearing rough on his sensitive cheek. He didn't care. He wrapped his arms around the limp flesh and clung to her like she would disappear. His glasses smashed against his forehead as he rubbed his entire face back and forth on her right knee, trying to clear the tears that began to fall. She clutched his face and ran her hands through his hair and continued to cry. She couldn't bear to push him away or let go.
They had no one else to take comfort in, they were all alone. Everyone else they had ever cared for was gone, their family dead or left behind. They only had each other.
After what seemed like hours Harry looked up at her face to see her tears had dried and her face changed to a mild pink. His glasses sat a skew on his handsome face and Hermione bend her torso a bit to lean forward to fix them back into place. Once she removed her hands from his face he spoke.
" He's not coming back is he." His words hung in the air, more of a statement then a question. She didn't need time to think about an answer regardless. "No Harry."
"Where do you think he could be?" This time he was asking her opinion and once again she didn't need to think of an answer.
" I have a feeling that we both don't want to think about that." she dropped her head and clenched her fists into Harry's shirt as she spoke these words. Only confirming that his best friend lingered on the same fears about Ron's decisions.
"It's just you and me now, we're going to win this, we have to be ready. Let's just focus on the DA. We have little time to prepare." His head dropped back into her lap at her words.
Even if the war began tomorrow, all he wanted to do right now was let his only friend touch his hair. All he wanted to do right now was feel Hermione's rough jeans on his cheek and smell her faint shampoo in the air.
A part of him hoped that other people were feeling the same desperation as they were, the same amount of loss. If the world could be this cruel to The Light, only merlin knew How the Dark was falling into nothingness.
Hermione couldn't help to tingle that passed through her body as Harry's hands moved down from her waist to come to rest on the tops of her thighs. He sniffled and began to run small tiny circles across her denim jeans. She tried to focus on her inner feelings, the helplessness that was consuming her entire being. When Harry's face turned towards her and his bright emerald eyes still wet with tears locked with hers, she couldn't help but let her mind draw a blank.
With a shaky sigh Harry lifted his head from her wet legs and raised his head to look into her eyes.
Over the past few weeks feelings for his best friend had started to run rampant within him. A part of him tried to sum it up to the fact that he had no one else. Hermione was the only person he knew he could always trust, who would never leave him behind. She was his rock.
The girl who would hold him if he need be. The girl that would do anything within her intelligence to make sure he won this. The girl who sacrificed her own family, for him. The girl who had been the most dependable friend any person could ask for. The girl who could turn his anger into calm relief.
The girl that was everything to him.
Hermione brought her trembling hands down to Harry's face, as if reading all of the thoughts within his head. She lightly stroked his hair and bent further towards his face. "Harry, I'm never leaving you, you have my word on this. I know it seems like everything is falling apart right now, but we need to..."
Harry pushed his head up and brought his lips to hers, he couldn't let her finish. He knew that he wouldn't be able to contain his sobs again.
His mouth was warm and wet with tears on her lips, almost a breath of air it was so light. In her mind she told herself that this was wrong. This was not just some friendly kiss for the comfort of a friend, but her heart was telling her something completely different.
You need this, Harry needs this. This was something for themselves. Not for Ron, not for the war, not for The Order, not for the greater good. For them.
She slowly let her eyes close and opened her mouth slightly to allow him better access to her. He felt the tension in her body leave and inside he sighed with relief. Harry tilted him head to deepen the kiss as much as he could from his position. Her lips tasted like nothing he had ever experienced before.
As quick as the kiss had begun it ended. Harry pulled back for a second and opened his eyes to lock with hers. Hermione couldn't help but gasp at the dark look swirling in his green eyes. It was a look she had never seen directed at her in all of her life.
He didn't have the chance to finish before his best friend crashed against him from a top the chair, causing him to fall back first onto the hard floor. Her lips were even more insistent than Harry's first kiss and he gave into her willingly, returning her kiss with just as much passion and enthusiasm. The floor was digging into his tail bone, but right now he couldn't have cared less. The feeling of her warm body over him was nothing like he had ever dreamed of. Without a second thought he wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her as if he were a man drowning.
Hermione sucked in a quick breath at the feeling of Harry's warm finger tips ghosting over her cold skin. His hands hesitantly moved upward towards the underside of her ribcage and stopped below her bra strap. He broke their kiss at that moment to look into her eyes seeking silent approval. Tears slowly started to run down her face and she nodded. Harry's eyes clouded over, his darker side taking residence within him.
"Hermione, if we don't stop now, I don't know if I'll be able to.." He tried to finish the sentence more elaborately but could not find the words. Hermione responded by arching upwards and moving his hand forcefully over her fabric covered breast she leaned up into Harry shoulder and whispered "Don't you dare stop Harry Potter." He shuddered and gave into her completely, his hands ripping the thin cloth of her bra off.
The intensity of the situation swept over them. Neither wanting to take their time and go slowly. Years and years had been wasted for them always taking their time and giving their time to others. They were the only ones who had always been there for each other. Tenderness was something that neither of them wanted, or deserved.
She bit his lip in and cried out as his hand pushed down the front of her pajama pants, lightly stroking the soft flesh that welcomed the contact. "Damn it Hermione, your so wet, you know better than this."
He used his other hand to tug her hip and pull her closer to his groin as he continued to pluck at her.
Her pants were down along with her knickers in a matter of minutes. Harry ripped off his shirt and tore the zipper of his trousers down. Hermione took a moment to marvel at how much her bet friend had grown, how much the both of them had grown.
He settled back in between her legs and she welcomed him by spreading her sticky thighs further apart.
His blazing green eyes looked into her own with a passion she had never seen that took her breath away. "I've dreamt of this, of us. I will never let you go Hermione, you're mine." Before she could respond to him he thrust deeply inside of her. Causing her to yelp in pain and cling to his shoulders as if she might drown. He paused for a moment and kissed the freckles on the side of her face. Harry leaned into her ear again "No one will ever love you as I do. We stick together, till the end Hermione." With that he pulled out slowly and buried himself back into her.
"Harry!" The pain that had settled between her thighs slowly disappeared with each movement. She felt like she was sitting upon a shore letting the waves sweep over her feet, then her thighs, then her pelvis, until it had consumed her entire body. She glanced down at where their bodies connected and saw the blood that spotted Harry's pubic area. It was by far one of the most erotic things she had ever laid eyes upon.
Harry glanced down at what had caught her interest and smirked. He sped up and began to pound into her as fast as her open thighs would let him.
"Argghhh, Harry, oh God..." Her lips opened in a silent plea and he leaned down to lightly brush her lips before he moved his hand down between their connecting bodies, he brushed his thumb over her once, twice, and felt her tighten around his body. His eyes snapped back up to her face and his darkened eyes lit up in wonder at the sight before him.
Hermione arched off the bed and cried out, trembling under him, her face was flushed the most lovely crimson as she sobbed her release and tightened around his cock. "Jesus Hermione, you're so fucking beautiful and tight, I...I...can't..." Hermione cried out and grabbed his head "Cum inside of me Harry, please." That was all it took as he exploded inside of her, the waves of her pleasure slowly milking everything within him.
His thrusts slowed and he collapsed on top of her. She pulled her hands up to run them through his messy black hair, calming his trembling body. They both slowly came down from the high that has taken them so far from reality. A part of her felt more fulfilled and comforted than she had in years. She couldn't have been more thankful that she has shared that with Harry.
The war, their friends, death, despair, was all forgotten for these few moments. The only thing that existed was two best friends, tangled together in a web of trust and love.
Harry leaned up and kissed Hermione on the top of her sweaty forehead, brushing away the stray curls that stuck to her face. "I love you. Don't leave me please."
"Never." Hermione whispered.