A/N: First and foremost, I must thank all of those who have reviewed and favorited A FireSide Chat with Itachi and Sasuke. With that feedback, I have decided to turn their feud into a series! This story takes place three years after Sasuke leaves Naruto and Itachi's house silently.

Enjoy!

"Talking"

'Thinking'


An Asylum-Side Chat with Itachi and Sasuke

It has been three years since Sasuke last spoke to Itachi or Naruto. It has also been three years since he was placed in the Konoha Insane Asylum. For what you ask? Let's review shall we. When Sasuke left Naruto's house three years ago in silent rage, his inner lion was unleashed when he heard a kid say: "Look guys! It's a guy wearing a duck on his head!" In his blind rage, he did the one thing that no one, even in a life or death situation, should ever do… he sliced off the head of the kid's snowman. The poor snowman's head shattered as it hit the snow in slow-motion into little snowballs. The kids screamed in horror and began to cry. But Sasuke didn't stop there. By the time the ANBU was able to use 'Taser no Jutsu' on Sasuke, he had sliced off the heads of every snowman in Konoha, successfully dubbing him as the Frosty Serial Killer. The next day, he was sentenced to the asylum until he was deemed sane by the psychologists.

All throughout the entire ordeal, Sasuke still refused to speak. Why you ask? Because he felt like a vacation. Sure the asylum wasn't the ideal vacation spot, but it had a peaceful and quiet atmosphere, minus the other asylum members that were truly crazy. He was happy with being in the asylum, until his brother decided to drop by to visit him… everyday… every damn day. It pissed him off to no end. He told the psychiatrists to not to let anyone visit him (especially his brother), but they made up some bullshit about being threatened by a crazy blonde wearing rollers in his hair that held a baby in it's arms or something along those lines. What made him even more pissed off were his brother's actions every time he came into his room. First, he would say, "Good day my foolish little serial killing brother who became one because of me," with the biggest grin on his face. His brother was soo proud to have been the cause of Sasuke's emotional break down. Second, he would bring gifts, gifts that pissed him off more than the asshole that brought them. Like he really needed pictures of Itachi, Naruto, and the baby in there every day lives posted everywhere possible in the room… salt-in-wound-rubbing bastard. Third, Itachi would sit next to him and talk about nothing important! Who really wants to listen to someone wonder why the sky is blue or why the Fanfiction World is soo large or why he has less fanfictions with Naruto than he does with him… on second thought, that last question is a good topic. But even through all of that, he still had one advantage over his aniki. His 'dear' aniki didn't like talking to a brick wall, in fact, it pissed off Itachi so much that he would actually leave earlier than the time he was allowed. Thus was the life of Sasuke: wake, eat, watch Scooby Doo, watch Itachi enter his room with 'gifts' in his arms, watch Itachi set up his 'gifts' in whatever remaining space he had left, listen to Itachi talk about shit he could care less about, watch Itachi get pissed off, smirk at Itachi leaving, eat once again, watch some more Scooby Doo, read some fanfictions of him and Naruto, go to his Serial Killers Anonymous class, eat once again, train, meditate, then sleep. He had a peaceful three years, until…

"Good morning my foolish little serial killing brother who became one because of me."

Sasuke turned his head from the TV to stare at his brother, who shockingly didn't have a single 'gift' in his hands.

'Thank God!'

"I know what you're thinking and yes, I do have a gift for you." Itachi grinned.

'FUCK!'

He watched Itachi open the door wider for him to see Sakura, Ino, and Karin standing behind him.

'No… no, no, no, no, NO!'

"Since you don't like to talk to me, for whatever reason, I figured that maybe they will get you to talk." Itachi's grin widened as the girls behind him squealed. Sasuke paled. He never thought that his brother would be that much of a complete dick to pull this stunt, then yet again, his was his brother he was speaking of. Itachi turned to face the starry-eyed fangirls.

"Now ladies, you only have half an hour to visit today. Use your time wisely…"

"Don't worry! We will!" they said sweetly, which made Sasuke throw up in his mouth.

"Alright then," Itachi turned back to face Sasuke with a smug expression on his face "See you tomorrow brother." Itachi stepped aside to let the screaming girls into the room before turning around to leave.

"Fuck you, Itachi!" Sasuke yelled before the door to his room shut. Sasuke glared at the door as the banshees started to snuggle him. Oh he would get Itachi back… he just needed to get out of here first. Screw the Serial Killers Anonymous Graduation he had today.


"That was a low blow, Itachi." Naruto said as he picked up their son's toys off the floor and into the bin.

"Oh come on, it was funny!" Itachi laughed out as he tucked their son into his bed.

"How would you feel if Sasuke sent your fangirls to your room?"

"Shh, Naruto! Don't give the fiction writers ideas! They'll read that you know!"

Naruto rolled his eyes before motioning Itachi to leave their sleeping son's room and go into the living room.

"But Sasuke won't forgive you for that. What you did is a recipe for revenge… He'll get you back."

"Hn. He has to escape first."

Just then, the telephone rang. Itachi looked at it curiously.

"Are you going to get it?" Naruto asked, annoyed.

"No."

"Lazy ass…" Naruto mumbled before picking up the phone saying hello. After a few minutes, Naruto busted out laughing and hung up the phone.

"Tsunade called and said that you might not want to step outside. Apparently Sasuke left a 'gift' for you." Naruto said in between laughs.

"Why is that funny?"

"Oh, you'll see…"

Itachi glared at Naruto before slipping on his shoes and opening the front door. Itachi gasped in shock and horror. His baby pictures were literally everywhere… even on the homeless man that slept on the ground infront of their house. But not just any baby picture, it was the ones he absolutely hated. Who would really take pictures of a naked baby that just so happens to be smiling at the camera? He didn't notice Naruto, who was still hysterical, stand next to him and pick off the picture that was taped to the front door.

"Well, it's good to know that you had a nice ass since birth!" Naruto laughed out again while snorting with tears falling down his cheeks.

"I take it that these are all over Konoha?" Itachi asked, not taking his eyes off of the many pictures that were taped all over the place. he could've sworn he heard laughter coming from where the Hokage Tower was.

The only response Itachi got was Naruto collapsing to the ground, still laughing like a maniac. And for once in Itachi's life, he remained silent, just as silent as Sasuke was before he left their house… only Itachi had a smirk on his face, an evil smirk.

'It's on Sasuke…'

END =)


A/N: I'm sorry, but I had to get Itachi back somehow, he was having too much fun! XD FEAR NOT ITACHI-FANS! He will definitely have something special in store for Sasuke next time! Feel free to comment!

-KTK