Actually I had the idea of this fiction for ages…but I just couldn't write it down due to some problems. But since I am having more free time now, I decided to give it a go.

NOTE: This fiction is yaoi; Meaning male/male relationship. So if it disturbs you please don't read. Also, it will contain blood, some graphic scenes and angst in the next charters. Please stop reading if you don't like it.

A/N regarding of chapter one: This fiction is a Kaname/Zero fiction. Not Kaname/Yuuki or Zero/Yuuki. The fact that she is present in this chapter is because I needed her to be .XD

Disclaimer: Vampire knight doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Hino-sensei and this is just a fan fiction.

Chapter one: Of irreparable dolls


My Zero, My precious Zero…

I know that you hate me. That deep hatred is burning inside of you like black flames, shimmering in those liquid pools of silver of your eyes and shattering the hope of what could it be between us for me.

It was such a beautiful mirage; the dream of you and me; tangled in each other's embrace.

You know, it kills me when your beautiful lunar eyes look at me with such disgust in them. It is like to be shot with your Bloody Rose directly in the heart.

It hurts.

I am sorry.

I am so sorry for being so selfish. I am so sorry for taking your kind heart and crushing it.

Your heart was so pure, so beautiful; like a silver diamond …

I took it, tainted it with my darkness and shattered it…

I managed to do the impossible with crushing that unique diamond; another bloody crime committed by me.

I wanted to keep you safe and happy.

I wanted to see you smile.

Even if it was without me by your side.

I just wanted to protect you from the beast inside of me .I just wanted you to be one of them. Like you always wanted to be.


Because you were born to be one of them.

Maybe our love was a mistake of fate…a twisted joke…

And I had to give it all up…

My precious Zero…

I am so sorry for not even letting you having a memory of us.

I am such a cruel monster.

I wanted to give you a heaven on earth, wanted to build you a castle of ruby and diamond, wanted to gift you the whole world on a silver plate.

I wanted to build you a heaven full of Sakura trees in full bloom; where the silver moon glitter and shines on the water of a lake and the silent night breeze caresses the face of the rare Orchids.

I wanted to build you the most beautiful garden in the whole world…

Because you deserve no less…

I have built it…all for you…

But you were not the one who stepped in it first…

Yuuki was the one who stepped in first…

I am so sorry….

I am sorry for letting what was meant to be yours to be shown to someone else.

You know, she is precious too…

Just not in the way you are…you are way more precious than her...

This letter will probably reach to you late, so...please don't blame yourself for whatever that you'll see that has happened in the estate that I've gave you the directions of.

Everything that you'll see is meant for you and for your happiness…and for her happiness too…


I love you.

I don't have any regrets of loving you. I cannot deny you anymore. The one and greatest regret I have is what we could have and they took the chance of it from us.

Forgive me.


P.S. you didn't know that I know you love Sakura petals despite your past, did you?

Silver eyes were wide as the owner of them staggered backwards to the wall, clenching to the piece of paper he had in his hand. He gripped the material of his shirt were his heart was, feeling a strange ache suddenly flooding in to it. His face was chalk white and his brain was refusing to process the information…was that a cruel joke? Had Kuran Kaname finally gone insane? There was nothing between him and Kuran. What was with that stupid letter?

Why did it make his heart burst with emotions?

He leaned against the wall, panting and looked at the letter once again. For a moment he wondered if really Kuran had written it, because the handwriting was not elegant and neat like the pureblood's. But then…as he focused…he realized what was wrong with the handwriting…

Someone has been crying while writing the letter….and the tear drops had smudged the ink…

Kaname had been crying…

A pureblood's tears tainting a love letter…

For some twisted reason the thought of Kuran Kaname's tears made Kiryuu Zero's heart throb in agony.

Zero knew he was late.

The understanding hit him like a punch in the gut as he stepped in to the beautiful Kuran estate. The sensation was so strong that even blinded him to the possessing beauty of traditional Japanese garden. His Hunter and vampire senses were both suddenly alert, his heartbeat wild and his mouth dry. Illogical Fear was creeping in his chest like a disease, nauseating him to the limit, making him choke.

He could feel it; He could smell it. It was all in the air. The air stank of blood. It was so heavy, it was so sweet, and yet it was bitter and reeking …

He clenched to his Bloody Rose and ran in to the garden. It was his first time there and the damn place was huge. He didn't even know what exactly he should be after. But after receiving that letter from Kuran Kaname he couldn't just pretend like everything was all right. He couldn't pretend that the void he was feeling was just a void because of Yuuki. That letter had changed everything. He wanted answers from Kuran.

That letter was practically a love letter. Kuran probably had lost his mind or was on drugs when was writing that. The bitter hate that Kuran had turned in to love in his letter was something that was cutting Zero's heart like a razor blade. The feeling of worthlessness that was oozing from that letter, the sorrow and sadness…and those tear drops that were so precious to every pureblood…

The pureblood had always treated him like he was a dirt on his shoes; nothing but a pawn to protect their precious Yuuki from a man that he himself was not able to protect. It was strange how it hurt Zero to realize that Kuran didn't give a damn about him. He didn't expect it. But it had hurt when the pureblood had told him that everything was for Yuuki and not him.

And then….he took his princess Yuuki with him and walked in to the sunset.

To live happily ever after.

Leaving him behind ….

The forgotten knight; staring after the beautiful queen who had left him for the royalty of the king…

Yuuki and Kaname…

Kaname and Yuuki…

The pureblood siblings ….

They were born for each other and he was a fool that he could belong to that world…Not that he wanted to belong to that world, but the thought of Kaname; graceful and sensual, it was like a forbidden territory that he had walked past. It had haunted him night after night, like an incubus ready to torture his victim sweetly and he often wondered why he didn't think about Yuuki as much as Kaname. The only reasoning he had was the blood bond they shared.

That doomed blood bond…

Zero gritted his teeth. He hated it. He hated how the damn pureblood was always present in his senses and how his scent always seems to be so close. Zero knew that he was indebted to that beast. It made him want to throw up to even think about it. The worst thing was that he still longed for that beautiful pale neck and that euphoric blood…

Biting his lip, he ran more in to the pitch black garden; searching but not finding. Velvet shadows were embracing him like a lover, keeping him hidden from the eye.

Suddenly Red glowed in Zero's eyes. Was it that because just the thought of that simply delicious blood brought the vampire side of him out? He panted. It was not the time for bloodlust!

And then he saw it…

The real reason of his sudden bloodlust…

It was not the simple thought of Kaname's blood…

Blood…pure blood…

It was everywhere….

Splashed on the grasses…on the stones…every where

His eyes went wide and fearful; like a caged animal. His heart skipped a beat and He felt frozen for a moment.

"So much pure blood…what has happened here?"

Then he blinked, suddenly realizing the scent of that blood. It was so sweet and so innocent. It was not Kaname's blood scent. It was Yuuki's.

"Yuuki…" he whispered desperately.

Where the hell was Kuran? What has happened? His body was covered in cold sweat. He dried his chopped lips with his tongue and tried to calm himself.

"Concentrate now…" He forced himself.

He moved closer to the source of blood scent. It was giving him a headache. It was far sweeter than usual; like when sweetness rots a delicious fruit.

Suddenly he saw her.

But their reunion was not like he had always imagined. In his mind, it was warm and bright.

But now…

He saw her crumpled figure, lying there, unmoving and still, between the beautiful Orchid flowers. She seemed to be sleeping. Lying there; like a doll between all the petals around her. She seemed so peaceful and yet…so cold…

Zero was at Yuuki's side in seconds, his eyes wide. "Yuuki!" He managed to whisper.

His hands trembled as he shook the young girl's shoulder. "Yuuki!" He choked again as he gathered the girl in his arms. Yuuki was so lifeless. He brushed a strand of her long hair away from her face.

She opened her eyes with effort. Her lips were frozen and bloodied. "Zero…" She whispered.

"You came… I thought …You will never come again…I thought you hate me…" She managed to smile.

Zero pulled the collar of his shirt aside with a shaking hand as he was holding Yuuki with the other and leaned down over her. "Drink…drink you idiot…" He was not asking, he was telling her what to do. He didn't manage to speak further as he tried to grasp on his reeling emotions.

"It is too late…The last blow was fatal…" The girl coughed. "But I want a taste of your blood…Zero…please…I denied myself for so long…" She touched Zero's warm cheek with her cold hand, making the hunter want to cry from sorrow.

She bit down gently, taking a gulp of a bittersweet nectar of what she craved for so long…but then suddenly, she pulled out her fangs.

"Yuuki…" Zero was confused. Why didn't she take any more than one gulp?

Her voice was soft. "Zero…your blood is claimed by another. You have a blood bond. I cannot betray my brother."

"Damn Kuran…where is he any way? What happened? "The emotions in Zero's chest were so overwhelming that he couldn't grasp them anymore.

Yuuki's eyes turned hollow. "Zero…They took him…please Zero…save him…before he loses his sanity…" She coughed again. It was clear that talking was hard for her. There was no time left.

Zero couldn't understand. Who took him? Taking Kuran Kaname? The great pureblood?

"He is closer to you than what you think…" Yuuki closed her eyes for a moment.

When she opened them, tears where falling down on her cheeks.

"Please forgive him for what he did to you…and for what he was forced to do to me…for protecting both of us…"

Zero's tears fell on Yuuki's soft cheeks, mingling with hers. Pain gripped his heart in its harsh claws as he watched the life from that delicate form slowly slipping away. He hated himself, feeling so powerless, not being able to do anything and He hated Kuran. He should have been there to protect his precious girl. Shouldn't he? Where was he? He didn't give a damn about where they have taken him or who were these they…His logical mind was not working at that moment.

His eyes were glassy and wet as he watched Yuuki smile at him one last time; pulling him closer, her hot breath caressing the back of his ear.

"Forgive him for being forced to kill me…" She whispered softly in his ear. But the soft whisper echoed like the most terrific scream in Zero's delusional mind.

He went numb and still, his brain refusing to believe what Yuuki just have told him and when Yuuki shattered in to millions of crystal and orchid petals in his arms, he thought he had heard Kaname's faintest whisper in the wind.


I love you

He just sat there numb and cold, staring in to the space and clenching at Yuuki's dress.

He didn't realize he was crying.

"Kuran Kaname…I didn't know that I could hate you more than I already do…"was all he could think of.

So, this was for Chapter one.

Feedback is always welcomed XD