Um, Hi? *smiles sheepishly*

I am very sorry for this epic late update. I have been very busy with personal issues. Still am, but having a bit of free time to write.

IMPORTANT: One thing I have to mention about this story that has absolute importance is the time and timing. Please pay attention to it if you want to get the story. The timing of everything; especially what Zero and Kaname do in past and present are like a chain that makes the whole plot and characters.

A/N : This fan fiction may seem different or weird to you. I will contain blood, graphic scenes to some point AND I certainly don't want neither character to be bashed because they are not written in a frame of what some people like. Characters here may look different from other fics but also look the same. It all depends on a reader's point of view. But I assure you that in this fic Kaname is no …um…whore. (Sorry for being blunt ^^; )

Warning: Yaoi, ZeroKaname , mind torture , graphic scenes to some point, angst

Disclaimer: Vampire knight and all the bishie awesomeness belongs to Matsuri Hino.


All truth is simple... is that not doubly a lie?

FriedrichNietzsche


Chapter three: Of tainted hearts


Peace.

It washed over Zero like a blanket of soft feathers as his footsteps echoed softly on the withered golden and crimson leaves. The fresh scent of a sunny day after a heavy rain caressed his senses and he wondered why there was so much serenity after rainy days in his miserable heart. He shivered. It was cold…but also warm. He wanted to wrap himself in those strange sensations and never let go.

He didn't know why, but like always he smiled as he reached his destination; an old swing isolated between the trees at the end borders of the Cross Academy. A bittersweet smile played on his lips….light danced in his eyes as he walked to the old wooden swing; now too small for him. He didn't care. He bent his legs and started to swing back and forth somehow slowly as he sat on it; legs still on the ground, too tall to really be able to swing. But he was happy. The sun rays shimmered upon his hair, making him look beautiful…ethereal …a disturbing image of a lost childhood.

He laughed silently to himself and mused what would happen if someone found him; playing around like this; probably he would lose his reputation. But who cared? It was not like anyone was aware of this place. This was his secret place.

His private place…to release his private emotions.

Rays of light seeped through the trees, playing upon his handsome face as he closed eyes, softly humming a children song which was his favorite rhythm and smiling as the sweet memories were rushed to his heart and …mind.

"Rain on the grass
Rain on the trees
Rain on the rooftops
but not on me!

Rain on the grass
Rain on the trees
Rain on the windows
but not on me!"

He laughed again; carefree and beautiful.

"You are singing awfully off season." There it was. Alluring voice of Kuran Kaname who was leaning against a tree; regal and beautiful…seductive…

"The sun is out already." The pureblood pointed out and his heavenly scent invaded the hunter's senses.

He came to a hilt, suddenly all the illusions of innocence shattering by a simple sentence and a simple presence. That poisonous disgusting presence….

He jumped off the swing; feeling, wanting… needing to challenge the other….so much that it hurt. So much that it was consuming him…so much that it was unbearable. In a flash Kuran was pinned to the tree, deep unreadable eyes staring in to the hunter's mockingly…cheekily.

It made him wants to bite and bruise the damn lovely thing. "Why did you stalk me to my private place?" he hissed grudgingly. "And…in this time of the day?"

"Private place?" Now the unreadable eyes were shining with amusement, the last part of the question ignored.

And a kick down there was his only answer and as ruby went wide with sudden hurt silver found pure pleasure in the other's agony .

Delight was shimmering in Zero's features. "Did you just ask about a private place?" His smirk back in to place, his good mood back , he started to walk away and paid no attention to the other who seemed to be hurt because of his actions…not because of the body harm, it seemed that he was emotionally hurt. Ha, weird.

"Are you lonely?" The question was a shy faint whisper. Hesitance was dripping like a poison from each word . The sorrow was crystal clear in it.

He turned back, eyes ablaze but cold at the same time as he tried to mask his incosable heart. "Shut up Kuran. Never talk about things you don't know about."

And as Kiryuu Zero turned his back on him, Kuran Kaname fell in to black a bit more.


The hunter association was the same as always; sad, cold…grey.

He could feel the bitter gazes on his back as he walked through the long hallway behind Cross Kaien whose steps was firm and his shoulders was high. He didn't know what he was after in here. His mind was blank but his heart had told him to come here and he has simply followed. Trying to ignore all the whispers behind his back as they walked was not easy. It was always like that. Feeling of not belonging. Feeling of unsettlement. He had a feeling he had lost something precious.

Cold...it was so cold as he walked, trying to escape in to numbness from the pain that was haunting him like a demon from inside. He knew he was disconnected from something…from someone and fear of just being delusional was so great that was driving him insane.

"Kiryuu-kun, if you want you can go and wait in the library. May be you even find something there." Cross's voice was soft but unwavering and somehow commanding.

He knew the older hunter didn't want him to know exactly what is going on. He shrugged carelessly but not before fixing him a dark glare. "Going there then." He turned on his heels , walking to the library completely lost in thought; ignoring his adoptive father's smile.

The walk there was draining for some reason. He stopped for a second, trying to catch his breath. It was insane. Just a couple of steps and he was feeling so tired he wanted to die. So tired he that wanted blood. He panted as he finally entered the empty library. Good, No one was there to see his disturbed state. He stumbled against a chair.

"Are you lonely?"

His eyes went wide. Who had spoken?

He looked up automatically at the chandelier hanging from the ceiling; distressed and unfocused. Light danced before his eyes, reflected horribly in the beautiful crystal pieces and he narrowed them gingerly. Crystal and light turned in to a sickening phobia of orchid petals as black dots changed in to the blinding light in front of his eyes and vague shapes came to live; A lithe figure in pure agony crying in crimson regret, holding him down despite his desperate struggles…and then there was a white empty mind.

He felt nausea rising in his chest, stained memories of a past that he couldn't grasp chocking him, maddening him. The tainted pure blood that was everywhere was too much to bear.

With a strangled cry of helplessness he blacked out.


A shadow; darker than the abyss of his black mind leaned over him. He; the great prince of the vampires was helpless to see who is invading his personal space behind that devastatingly dark blindfold but he could feel him. He had that scent; fresh and unique…tempting and intoxicating, like nothing had changed. He was muted when a disgusting want gripped his heart as he felt quiet rush of hot breath on his pale neck. "I have been told that the men of Kuran family are men of honor and tactful games. Is that right Kaname-san? Will you play my game? "His voice was talking to him; seductive and mind-shattering. He wanted to die the moment he heard that soft bitter voice because it would be either death or being used and he preferred death. He didn't want to hurt his precious beloved any more. He didn't want him to drown himself in sorrow and guilt. He wanted to die when he heard his name rolling off that tongue like poisonous honey; so deceiving…so bittersweet.

Long fingers touched his chapped lips softly;Featherly light; half parting them ,enjoying feeling of silky lips even though dry and then like touching the lips were not enough…fingers slowly invaded inside his month; touching and teasing his fangs lightly. Dirty duality of crave and hate was knotted in the pureblood's being and he was powerless to stop the hot shame all over his body.

His chest heaved as he struggled against his chains. …this man…this thief...this...! No one had the right to touch his fangs. NO ONE but his Zero. Kaname growled in his throat and struggled against his chains. Hot dark fire burned and spread in to his sensed the more he struggled; pushing him to the point of insanity. His muscles tightened, wanting to hold on something…someone desperately…but he was alone.

The man smirked amusedly and began humming a soft rhythm to himself. He leaned against the pureblood's neck, nuzzling in to the other's pale neck temptingly. "Do you know what are these wires are for?" He murmured against Kaname's skin, taking pleasure in watching the other's paralyzed body language and wide ruby eyes.

"These are for destroying you Kaname. That's for what you did." The man's laughter was happy and carefree.

So beautiful….yet so vindictive.

Words echoed through Kaname's delusional numbness as that exquisite laughter sliced through his being. The need…the hollow need of warmth was almost painful as anguished tears burned at the back of his eyes shamefully. He tried so hard not to grit his teeth and growled as his delicate chin was grabbed hard in to the other's hand and his hair was pulled back roughly.

"Ahhh…."

"Keep quiet. If you do it won't be so painful." Amused venom was in his tone.

"May you dream of sweetest dreams."

And as a torturing pain started to force itself through the wires on Kaname's head, he howled like a caged beast fallen in a mania den. His body all stiff like a piece of wood, the pain was too real, too horrifying….

Black…so black that purity of white was meaningless . Couldn't his beloved see?

and the sweet dream turned to a twisted nightmare.

"Don't worry, He is harmless." The petite girl's voice was sweet as she tried to avoid the visitor's eyes.

There was no answer. Only the echo of their footsteps could be heard throughout the dark sad Kuran household; on the shiny wooden floor.

The girl tried once again. "Um…do you want me to stay there too?" She sounded hopeful; big brown eyes brave enough to look straightly at the guest for the first time.

"No." came the harsh answer like a slap to her face.

"Ok then. Just state your business with him clearly and he'll grant your wish if he is in the mood. Don't make him angry." She sighed.

"Whatever ."

"Remember…never say anything unnecessary in front of him, I shall never take responsibility for what will happen to you." She ranted on.

The man resisted the urge to smirk and kept his stony mask in place.

The sound of her heels echoed in the hallways as they walked in to deserted corridors together ; light and shadow dancing around in the velvety space. Guiding the visitor in to a spacious room carefully she went in first. The man could see the pureblood; Kuran Kaname leaning against the half open shoji door, numb and with glassy eyes. Like always. Like every day. He was looking down at his hands. So stained and dirty. A single tear fell as the rain drops started to fall. His kimono half on his shoulder, his bare shoulders looked pale…bloodless.

"What does he want Yuuki?" came his monotonous voice.

"Something political he wants you to grant..I really didn't understand…" The girl answered sheepishly, fumbling with her long hair.

"Then please leave us. "

"But onii-sama…." The girl stuttered.

This time the numbness was gone as Kuran Kaname got back his regal pureblood features and bared his fangs to her sister. "OUT I said!" Clearly the guest's presence had frustrated and enraged him.

The girl fled dejectedly.

"Wow…" The guest mock-mused.

"You..."

Kaname looked at the man warily waiting and praying….for what he didn't know. He supposed Delusional minds were rotten with sweet illusions.

"Kuran-sama, I here just as a messenger of both hunter association and ...oh well… " Came the cold liquid temptation. "It is all about blood…Your delicious pure blood." The man licked his lips.

The beautiful illusion shattered.

"You know what it means, right? I will be waiting." There was a dangerous flash of fang as the man smirked and it made Kaname's heart twist in agony.

"I shall consider you insane suggestion. But I am sorry, as I told you before you cannot remember this place." Sadness crept in to his eyes as he stood up and walked to the man, taking him in to his arms.

"NOOOO!" Cried out Kaname hoarsely; his throat tight, his knuckles white as he was not aware of his surroundings any more. Only thing he was aware of was the horrible pain, phobia, mania in his head. He was twisting and turning uncontrollably , struggling against chains unconsciously, not capable of breathing.

Strong arms enveloped him as the pureblood slumped forward. "Purebloods are what make monsters out of ordinary people. You should know it too well from all of people dearheart. Now hush Kaname." Kisses fell like rain on his sweaty hair and in his purgatory of feelings Kaname wondered if he had chosen a right path in the past as he lost himself in a coffin of light.

He was not aware as he was put tenderly on the soft bed, strands of his silky hair brushed away from his flushed anguished face by a gentle hand. The man leaned down and kissed his forehead silently.

"Sweet dreams till I come back."

And he left with cat-like steps, closing the cell's door behind him with a click.


So that was it. Thank you very much for reading and your patience with me.

Feedback is always welcomed :D