Luxord sighed. He was sitting on his bed, dealing cards to himself, yet again. Such a boring day... There's never anything to do here… He paused. I wonder what Xiggy's doing… How sad was that? Hardly 20 seconds had passed and his mind automatically went back to Xigbar. Again.
Luxord stared up to the ceiling, his hands still going through the motions of dealing cards. Hmmmm… I wonder if he's working out again…? He grinned, dreamily. He rested his face in his palm, as he thought back. I remember the first time I went to go work out with him… I'll never forget it… Hehhehheh… He looks so cute in gym shorts…
He bit his bottom lip, still grinning, as he stared into space. You didn't even want to know what he was thinking at that moment…
One of the other members of the Organization was waling down that particular hall, when they realized the door to Luxord's room was open. He poked his head into the room, and found Luxord staring out into nowhere, cards scattered around on his bed, and with an expression on his face that literally read "Number X is not present at the time – please leave a message at the *beep*."
He scooted into the room, raising an eyebrow. "Uh… Luxord?"
Luxord's head snapped in the voice's direction. Wouldn't you know it… It was the one member that Luxord had the biggest soft spot for… It was… The Freeshooter himself.
Xigbar crossed his arms, staring curiously at the blonde. "What exactly are you doing…?"
Luxord blushed, blinked, and looked down. "Oh, um… Uh… What exactly am I doing…? I was just… Um… Ya know… Playing… Cards. Yeah."
Xigbar blinked. "Playing cards…? With who?"
Silence. "With myself…"
Xigbar laughed a little, sitting down on the bed. "Damn! You must be bored out of your MIND!" he exclaimed.
Luxord stared at Xigbar, near speechless. "Y-Yeah…" he murmured, blushing even more. He couldn't believe Xigbar was actually TALKING to him like this!
Suddenly, Luxord got an incredibly ingenious idea. He smiled a little and said softly, "Well, how about you play with me, instead?"
Xigbar yawned, and scratched the back of his neck. "Sure, why not. It's not like I have anything better to do…" He propped his chin up on his hand. "What kinda game are we playing?"
Luxord was already gathering back up the cards. "Oh, nothing special…" he said, carefully. "Just… You know… Poker…"
Xigbar raised his eyebrow again. "Poker?"
"Yep…" Luxord grinned a little, before adding, "Strip poker."
Xigbar grinned, also. "STRIP poker, you say…? Ooh, laa, laa…!"
Luxord giggled a little as he shuffled the cards. Yes, Xigbar… Strip poker… But little do YOU know that this will be no ordinary game… He laughed at some random joke Xigbar had just told about Marluxia. Unlike other games, with THIS one, you are destined to lose. No matter WHAT.
He started dealing the cards, smiling deviously. You couldn't even tell that he was switching the cards around so that Xigbar would come up with the worst hand. Usually, I wouldn't cheat. I'm so good I've never needed to. But I'm not leaving anything to chance this time… This game is too precious to me.
Dealing the last two cards, Luxord placed his hands on them. "Let's make this a quick game, eh? No swapping cards, one round, aces high, twos low. Sound good?"
Xigbar grabbed his cards, nodding. "Sounds good, bud. You ready…?" he asked, grinning deviously.
Luxord grinned, grabbing his cards, also. "As ready as I'll ever be…"
They both looked at their cards at the same time. Luxord examined his, grinned, and showed them Xigbar. "Ooh… Oh well. Prepare to lose that shirt, Xiggy." He smirked.
Xigbar blinked, and looked back down at his cards, and huffed angrily. "Well, that sucks…" He looked back up at Luxord, and shook his head. "Nah, man… I always do gloves first." He pulled off a glove, and gave his cards back to Luxord. "Let the game continue…" he muttered.
Luxord pouted, took the cards, and started shuffling again. Damn it… I wanted to see some skin… He started dealing the cards again. No matter… I'll get to the good stuff soon enough.
When he was done dealing, they both picked up their cards and examined them.
Luxord chuckled. "I win again, Xigbar!" he crowed as he turned over his cards.
Xigbar grumbled to himself. "Meh… I thought I had you that time…" he sighed, disappointedly.
Luxord stared at him with wide eyes, grinning.
Xigbar blinked, then held up his other hand. "In case you didn't know, I have a glove for BOTH of my hands…"
The grin melted away. Luxord crossed his arms. "FINE," he growled as Xigbar took off his other glove.
He shuffled quickly, then dealed again. Xigbar sighed. "Well… I know for sure I didn't win this time…" he sighed, throwing down his cards. He started pulling off one of his boots. "God, I suck today…" he grumbled.
He spotted Luxord staring at him. "But no matter!" he shouted in a determined manner. "I can always come back…! And when I do, I'ma whup yo' butt, too!"
We'll see about that… Luxord thought, grinning.
Xigbar hugged his shoulders, shivering. Now he was completely bare except for his dark violet boxers. The rest of his lost clothes lay on a heap on the floor. He studied Luxord's face, waiting for him to deal the cards. I don't under-STAND it! Why am I so bad tonight and Luxord completely flawless? I mean... I guess he COULD be cheating... But why WOULD he...?
Luxord bit his lip again, trying his best to keep his eyes (not to mention his hands) off of the tempting boxers right in front of him. Here we go, Luxxy! Only one more piece left! You can do this! Do NOT lose your cool!
He dealt the last couple of cards, his hands shaking a little. Xigbar was also trembling as he put his hands on his cards. He glanced up at Luxord. Come on, luck… don't fail me now…! he thought, gulping, though he knew that it would take more than luck to have him win this game at his current state…
He quickly brought his cards up to his face, looked over them all… and grinned. Holy crap – I might actually have a chance this time!
Luxord watched Xigbar's expression with glee. "You might as well wipe that smile off your face, Xiggy, and kiss those boxers goodbye!" He flashed his cards in front of Xigbar's face, hysterical with joy. "Cuz you just found yourself against a man that got a Royal Flush!" He could barely control himself. He gave a loud wolf-whistle and started chanting, "Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!"
Xigbar's eyes widened to the size of grapefruits. His jaw dropped and his whole face started to turn a bright red as he stared incredulously at Luxord. Oh… Damn…!
He raised his eyebrows and glanced down at his boxers and then his head snapped back up, a scared, wild look in his eyes as Luxord started shouting, "Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!"
Suddenly, he started crawling backwards a little, his face about as red as a tomato. "Whoa... Huh-uh. No. I ain't doin' it." He crossed his arms, stubbornly, and turned around. "Um… You, uh… You cheated."
Luxord stopped chanting abruptly. "Wh-What…?"
"You cheated…" Xigbar wasn't really sure if Luxord cheated or not, he just suddenly got self-conscious.
Luxord narrowed his eye. "I didn't cheat…" he replied, haughtily. "I'm just that good. Besides, you don't have any proof… Now take. The boxers. Off. Now!"
"NO!" Xigbar replied. He was acting like he was a little kid.
"You're not abiding by the rules!" Luxord cried, shrilly.
"Well, neither were you when you cheated." He paused. "Cheater."
Luxord lost it. "YAAAAAAAAAAH!" He pounced on Xigbar, tackling the poor Freeshooter to the ground. "YOU WILL TAKE THE BOXERS OFF!" he screamed.
Xigbar cried out in pain and surprise. "AGH! Luxord, wh-what are you doing? This is only a game, right?"
Luxord was panting, his hands clutching Xigbar's arms firmly. He stared at Xigbar for a few moments, then grinned wickedly. Hehhehhehheh… Just a game… No. It's not just a game. Not anymore. NOT SINCE I'M THIS CLOSE! Of course, he didn't say that out loud, though. Instead, he just purred, "Yes, it's just a game. But games have rules – rules that YOU have to obey! Now STRIP!"
Xigbar grabbed Luxord's shoulders, a determined, but still panicked expression on his face, "Look, I know you're the guy who's obsessed with gambling and card games and stuff inside of the Organization XIII, but this is taking it a BIT too far!" He forced Luxord over, and rolled on top of him.
Luxord, still wearing that creepy grin, shouted, "Oh, NO it's not! You're gonna go by the rules whether you want to or not!" He did the same thing to Xigbar.
Pretty soon, they were rolling all about the room, bumping into things and even breaking some. They were also screaming things at each other – Xigbar fighting to keep his boxers on, and Luxord fighting to take them off. This is basically what the conversation sounded like…
"Luxord, STOP IT! You're acting crazy!"
"Am not! I just want you to take off your boxers! Is that so bad?"
"Yes, since you cheated!"
"I DIDN'T CHEAT! Now take 'em off!"
"NO! You can't make me!"
"We'll see about that…!" A giggle.
"HEY! Get your hands OFF there!" A cracking sound.
"OW! HEY! Slapping is against the rules!"
"So is CHEATING!"
"SO IS NOT TAKING OFF YOUR BOXERS! Now take 'em off!"
While those two were off doing that, Zexion was strolling down the hallway, munching on an apple. Hmmmm… What's with all the ruckus…? He wondered slowing down to stare at Luxord's room door. Faintly, he could hear things being broken and muffled cries.
He blinked. Maybe I've been reading too many dirty magazines… he thought, narrowing his eyes. After hesitating a little, he pushed open the door with his hand. He was greeted by a… Not so welcoming sight.
Luxord was grinning deviously on top of a nearly-naked Xigbar. They were both clutching each-other's shoulders tightly and panting; their faces were so close together, their noses almost seemed to be touching.
Xigbar did a double-take at Zexion, and was completely frozen with shock and horror. His face was rapidly becoming a dark red. He moved his lips to say something, but no sound came out. Luxord followed his eyes, and stared at Zexion curiously. His eyes seemed to be asking, "Can't you see we're busy?"
The three stared at each other for a very long, awkward silence. Xigbar and Luxord glanced at each other, then back at Zexion. Zexion was examining them both, an emotionless expression on his face as he continued eating his apple.
Suddenly, Zexion stuck his apple into his mouth, holding it there with his teeth. He pulled a camera out of his pocket, aimed it at the two, paused… took a step back, aimed again, and snapped a picture. A little slip of paper slid out of one end. Zexion pulled it out, stuck the camera back into his pocket, pulled the apple out of his mouth, and calmly began walking off, shaking the undeveloped picture in his hand as he went.
"Hey… Wait…!" Xigbar whimpered after him. He glanced at Luxord, narrowed his eyes, and shoved the blonde off him.
"Hey – Whoa – AHHH!" Luxord screamed as he did a face-plant into the ground.
Xigbar was already on his feet. "WAIT! ZEXION!" he cried, running out into the hallway.
Luxord sighed, overcome with sadness. "He's gone…" he sighed. He sat like that for a moment, then looked back up. Oh well… At least I got a good look at his underwear… He sighed, slumping down.
To be continued…
And now for a message from your lord and savior!
This was written to give you guys a faint grasp of just HOW badly Luxord has the hots for our Freeshooter, 'ere. Again, this story is a few years old – back when Luxord challenging other members to strip poker was still a fairly fresh idea, so I apologize for the corniness. You also get to see more of my version of Zexion, who, for the record, actually is NOT emo. Amazing, huh? But he IS a bit of a bastard.
So… Yeah. When I first started making fanfics for KH, Luxord's character used to be the hardest because I couldn't really figure out a way for him to be… erm… interesting. XD But then, one of my RPing partners and I came up with this inside joke that Luxord is secretly raving mad over Xigbar and Xigbar has no clue, even though it SHOULD be glaringly obvious.
Stay tuned in, PLZKTHNX!