A/N: This is going to be a new multi-chapter. "Companion" is getting near the end and I've been having killer writer's block lately, but I'm going to try to get it finished up before the end of June. And in the meantime, this story just won't leave me alone, so I thought I'd start it.
This is going to focus a little more on Chuck and Blair's children, but C&B will figure prominently as well. Let me know what you think!
"To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there" -Barbara Bush
"Okay, tell me about your family again." Lauren said as she plopped herself down on her boyfriend CJ's lap.
"What do you want to know?" he asked with a smile as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Anything! I'm meeting them for the first time tomorrow and all I know is that you have an absurd amount of siblings who all apparently have more obnoxious names than you do."
"Hey, don't make fun of the name! It's my dad's name too." CJ said defensively.
Lauren tilted her head and gave him a look, "Come on, you have to admit that Charles Bartholomew is kind of ridiculous."
"You should compare it to my brothers' names." CJ muttered under his breath.
Lauren sat up, remembering the purpose of the conversation, "So tell me already! I already met your one brother, the one who is a freshman at Harvard, and his girlfriend."
"Oh yeah, Hank and Celia, I forgot you met them."
"Hank, right, that was his name!" Lauren exclaimed, "I couldn't remember it. Hank isn't such a bad name."
"It's a nickname." CJ pointed out.
She rolled her eyes, "Well, of course. But what is it short for? Henry, right? I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice, but it's not worse than yours-"
"No," CJ interrupted, "Not Henry. His name is Harold. Harold Roman."
Lauren just stared at him for a moment with her mouth open. "Wait, what?" She stuttered after a moment, "His name is Harold?"
"Yes," CJ said with a smirk, "Harold Roman."
"But you call him Hank?" She clarified.
"Yes," He explained patiently. "My parents usually call us by our full names, but we all have nicknames."
"So why doesn't he go by Harry?"
CJ gave her a pointed look, "Come on, Laur, Harry Bass? That sounds to similar to-"
"Hairy ass. True. That would just be inviting trouble." She agreed with a nod.
"Yeah, and Hank is the most reserved and sensitive of all of us, so that would have been a bad idea."
"Okay, so there is you and then Hank…" Laura said as she began counting on her fingers.
"And then the twins are sixteen." CJ continued, "Their names are Edward Eric-"
"Oh, that's not so bad-"
"-and Theodore Cyrus." He finished, ignoring her interruption.
Her eyes widened slightly, "Wow. Okay, yeah, that is pretty bad. So what are their nicknames? Ed and Ted?" She asked skeptically with a look of disgust.
"Oh God, no! My parents would never stand for that. No, it is Ed and Theo."
"Ah, okay, I like that better."
"I'm sure they will be glad you approve," CJ said sarcastically, "They are the biggest troublemakers out of all of us. They drink and do drugs, they sleep around, and you can't trust a word that comes out of their mouths. They're not going to be friendly or social so don't worry about impressing them."
"Good to know." Lauren said with a raised brow, "So there's two more, right?"
He nodded, "There are two more boys and then one girl."
"Ugh, right. Your family is too big. How am I ever going to remember everyone?" She groaned.
CJ laughed and kissed her forehead, "You'll do just fine."
She ignored him and went back to the count on her fingers, "Okay, so after the twins…"
"There is Sebastian Fitzwilliam. He's twelve and he is my little buddy."
"Oh my gosh, that name is pretty awful. What do you even call him?"
CJ had a small smile on his face as he thought about his favorite brother, "He actually really likes his name. Most people call him Fitz, but my mom used to call him Sebby when he was little and my baby sister combined those two names and called him 'Fitzby' so that is what me and her call him."
"Fitz?" She tried the strange name out.
She smiled, "I kind of like it."
"Well you better like him. And I know he will like you." CJ said as he buried her nose in her hair.
"And after Fitz," She continued, "Your last brother is…"
"Fredrick Arthur. He's eleven and he is a miniature version of the twins."
Lauren sighed, "These names just keep getting worse. Do you call him Fred?"
"No, he goes by Ricky." He said casually before moving on, "And then the baby of the family is Lexie. She is four and she is my parent's little princess." He chuckled and shook his head, "She is going to be completely spoiled and everyone knows it but does nothing to stop it."
"Lexie? I like that name."
"Well, that's not her actual name. Her full name is Alexandra Eleanor Lillian Bass. And that is how she will introduce herself to you. Only people she knows can call her Lexie."
She raised her eyebrows, "So I am going to have to ask permission from a four year old to call her Lexie?"
"Yes." CJ said with a laugh. "And she might be your toughest critic, except maybe for my mother."
"Oh God, there are so many people I have to remember and impress! Why did your parents have to have so many children? Don't most Upper Eastside families only have like one or maybe two kids?" Lauren asked.
CJ smirked, "Yes, and that was my parents plan as well, but they are very, um, passionate about their love for each other and they tend to get, uh, I guess you could say, caught in the moment, and, uh, forget to use protection."
"Oh my gosh." Lauren said as her face scrunched in disgust.
CJ was used to this reaction, so he ignored it and continued, "My parents only wanted to have two kids a few years apart from each other after they had been married for a little while, but they got pregnant with me right after their honeymoon and then Hank was born only twelve months after I was. My parents thought that was it; that their family was complete, but then three years later they found out they were pregnant again with the twins. And then they got another surprise when they got pregnant with Fitz four years later and again a year after that." He finally looked up, back at his girlfriend and he couldn't help but grin at the look of horror on his girlfriend's face at his open discussion of his parents' sex life, "After that, my mom finally gave up trying to convince my dad to get snipped and decided to go under the knife herself and get her tubes tied." Lauren's brows knitted in confusion, but CJ continued before she could speak, "But it ended up failing and a few years later along came Lexie. Once they had their daughter, my father finally agreed to the vasectomy, and so far they haven't had another surprise."
"Please stop." Lauren begged, "I know way too much now." She frowned as she shook her head to try and erase what she had just heard, "Why don't you tell me some other, less intimate things about your parents. All you have told me is that your dad owns like a billion dollar company and your mom works for her family's fashion line."
"Just Google them." He said with a roll of his eyes.
She pouted, "Come on, C, I need to know what they are really like."
"But that's the thing," He said, "How I describe them is going to be completely different than what you are going to see. They are different when it's just our family. Whenever anyone is visiting my parents are just different; they are a little more reserved and formal. Even when Celia is staying with us they change a tiny bit, even though they practically raised her."
"C-" She whined.
"Okay." CJ groaned, giving in. "Um-, Well, my dad is usually pretty quiet and stern. He is always in a full suit unless he is in his silk pajamas. I don't think he even owns a pair of jeans. He doesn't really waste time being polite or talking to people he doesn't need to; he lets my mom handle that. At parties he tends to just stand by my mom's side while she makes conversation or he is talking to business associates. But he shows his since of humor when he does make comments; they are usually dirty or have a double meaning, which makes my mom roll her eyes or scold him." CJ chuckled before he continued, "To society, my dad seems like this stern, cold businessman, and on some level I guess he is, but deep down he does have a heart even if most people don't get to see it. Some people think he isn't capable of love, but you just need to see him around my mom for two minutes to realize that isn't true. And even though he has never really been that affectionate with me or my brothers, if we need him he will drop everything to be there."
Lauren looked at him seriously, "You're really close with him, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess I am." CJ said before he sighed, "I mean, I've always looked up to my dad, you know? And I've worked at his company every summer since I was sixteen and he has told me that once I graduate, the company is mine if I want it."
"Which you do."
"Of course. It has always been my dream to run Bass Industries. Once I get my MBA, my dad is going to basically semi-retire and just help me get settled in the business."
"He must be so proud of you." She whispered.
"I hope so. My dad doesn't typically trust people that easily, so the fact that he is going to trust me with his company really means a lot. I just can't mess it up."
"You won't." Lauren soothed as she ran her fingers through his hair, "I'm sure your dad knows you will do a great job." Seeing the worry on her boyfriend's face, Lauren decided to change the subject, "Okay enough about the infamous Chuck Bass. Tell me about your mother. I'm a little scared to meet her."
CJ laughed, "As you should be. My mom is pretty tough, especially when it comes to people getting involved with her family. I mean, she will smile and be polite to your face but it will all be with such a strong undertone of conceit that it will make you question whether she is really even being nice at all."
"Your-, uh, your mom sounds like-, um, like a real piece of work." Lauren said nervously.
The fear on her face only caused CJ to laugh harder, "Don't worry, you will be fine." He tried to comfort her, "Just be yourself. Don't try to be what you think she wants. My mom hates lies and fakeness; she can see right through it. As long as you are real and genuine there won't be a problem."
Lauren bit her lip, "Okay," she said hesitantly before she moved on, "So besides being extremely protective, what is your mom like?"
CJ pondered the question for a moment, "Um, well for one thing she is tiny. She's had seven kids and she's still barely a hundred pounds. And even though she has six sons who already are or will eventually be almost twice her size, she will still let us cuddle up next to her and rest our heads on her tiny shoulder after a hard day." He shook his head with a faraway look in his eyes, "In the public eye she seems like the most cold-hearted woman in the world, with her perfect hair and perfect make-up and perfectly tailored clothing. I don't think I've ever seen my mom when she wasn't completely done up or not in heels and a meticulously coordinated outfit. Most people probably think she would have no desire to go anywhere near a sick or messy child and that she has had all of her children raised by a team of nannies. But my mom never had a single nanny, unless you include the maid, Dorota, who basically raised my mom and is practically family, so she doesn't really count. And, yes my mom usually left some of the messier things to Dorota, but whenever we really needed her, she was there."
Lauren just looked at her boyfriend. She wanted to believe him, but she had looked up his family on the internet, and she had seen videos and interviews of his parents and his mom really did seem like an uptight bitch.
CJ read the look on her face and he smiled softly, "I told you that you wouldn't believe what I said about them. Just be yourself tomorrow and they will love you."
"Come on, CJ," She said knowingly.
"Okay, love might be too strong of a word." He said as his grin widened, "But they will approve of you. If they see that you really care for me and aren't being fake, then everything will be fine. And as long as you remember the two rules."
"What? What rules?" Lauren asked in confusion. He had always given her the impression that his parents were fairly laid back when it came to regulating their children.
"Calm down." CJ said as he rubbed her back, "They are only unofficial rules and they are really for your own benefit."
She closed her eyes, "Just tell me what they are."
"Don't go downstairs before 6:45 in the morning. That's when my father leaves for work and the time before that is my parents' private time-,"
"And always, always, always, knock before opening any closed door; whether it's a bedroom or a bathroom or even a closet. Always knock. Especially if it is at a party."
"What?" Lauren asked.
"Like I said before, my parents can be very passionate and get caught up in the moment, so you just want to be careful before you walk into any supposedly empty areas."
"Oh my God, CJ" She exclaimed.
He simply patted her knee and pushed her to her feet as he stood after her, "I'm just warning you, Babe. Now I think that's enough about my family. You'll meet them soon enough and then you can make your own judgments. Let's go to bed. Hank and Cece are going to pick us up early tomorrow and then we have a few hours in the car before we will get to the city."
"Ugh, okay." Lauren said as he kissed her hair before she turned to him with a pout, "I'm still nervous though."
CJ leaned down and kissed her, "Don't be. You'll do great, I promise."
A/N: If you noticed, the middle names of all the children are for important people in Chuck and Blair's lives.
This is just kind of an introduction. The story is going to kind of deal with each of the kids individually. And just for future reference, I am not a medical expert. Any medical talk comes mostly from what I've read on the internet/Wikipedia.
Please review! Thanks!