Title: Eccentric
Author: Sage SK
Date Started: 5/26/10
Date Finished: 5/26/10
Rating: K
Genre: General
Warnings: None

Comments: Just a quick one-shot inspired by an RPG plot idea and from late night joking. There may be a future storyline based on the same idea as this fic coming soon. Consider this a 'sneak peak'. Many thanks to Kristen Sharpe for the inspiration!

Clearly caffeine shouldn't be drunk after midnight. Let's just pretend for a few minutes that "Conqueror of Shambala" ended on a happier note for poor Alfons, 'kay?

Alfons Heiderich had met all sorts of eccentric people in his lifetime. A good majority of them had been scientists, some of them politicians, and maybe one or two professors at the university. However, the day he'd learned of an older half-brother and took the train to London to see for himself, "eccentric" would have been too nice a word.

No, Edouard Elrick wasn't eccentric. He was beyond that. There were days when he was way too happy for his own good. But, Alfons welcomed that, especially after the war started. And, despite Alfons' love for rocket science, Edouard had a skill that made it impossible for him to go back to Germany and continue his studies.

Edouard called it "alchemy." Further research at several university libraries revealed it to be a science that dated back to ancient Egypt. In fact, Alfons had once met a man by the name of Ernest Rutherford, who years ago after the Great War claimed he had used artificial disintegration to convert nitrogen into oxygen. Back then, however, Alfons really hadn't been interested in what Rutherford had called "artificial transmutation" and merely waved it off.

So, curious, Alfons had asked Edouard to teach him a little more, and his half-brother happily complied. In fact, Edouard took it upon himself to drag Alfons from city to city, fixing what they could as the Germans continued their advancement on most of Europe. An argument or two would surface based on differences of opinion (particularly on Edouard's taste for art), but Alfons learned more than he ever thought possible.

He also learned to quickly question Edouard's common sense, because there were times when he thought his older brother didn't have any. Edouard was a genius, but he tended to leap before thinking, a trait that gave Alfons a headache more than anything. Such was the case when Alfons insisted on flying their bi-plane from then on when he learned of his brother's plans to go up against the enemy in the skies.

"You? Fly?" Edouard chided. "You barely hold back from screaming every time we take off."

"Because I know you," Alfons shot back. "The minute we encounter the Luftwaffe, you tend to fly us straight at them. I'd like to make it through this war alive, thank you."

"Alright. You can fly her. That way, it'll give me enough time to catch them by surprise."

Alfons recognized the growing grin on his brother's face. He couldn't be serious.

"What?" he yelped. "Our plane is a vintage model from the Great War! It can't hold up against modern aircraft!"

"Just get me close enough, and it'll be the Luftwaffe that won't hold up."

"You can't seriously be thinking of deconstructing their planes in mid air!"

"Just the guns."

"Exactly how do you expect to get your hands on a gun - that will be firing at us, remember - in mid air?"

Edouard considered his options. "In that case, I need to upgrade our guns."

"The last time you did that, our plane plummeted due to the weight."

"I've adjusted my calculations since then."

Alfons tugged at his hair. "No. I'm now convinced. All of the mechanical knowledge you learned was just enough to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you."

"Except for the myself part, I could work with the other. We're at war, after all." Edouard then grinned as Alfons buried his head into his arms. "You need to be more optimistic, Alfons."

Yes, any other day, Alfons could have dropped everything and returned to Germany. But, despite his brother's continuous efforts to have him die early of a panic attack, Alfons had gained a lot more than what he'd expected.

After all, adventure had always been in his blood.


"Great War" refers to World War I. This story takes place a little after World War II and Germany's invasion begins.
"Luftwaffe" refers to the German fighter pilots of WWII.
Ernest Rutherford is indeed a historical figure. Look him up! His biography is rather interesting.