DISCLAIMER- I own nothing, as per usual

So, this is my take on the pre season one row between Sam and John before Sam went to college-enjoy!

Dad would never have found Sam's college letters if I hadn't of forgot that they were in the top cupboard by the sink. It was my job to keep them safe, to stop dad from seeing them. If I had done what I had promised, then none of this would have happened.

The day had started off like any other normal one- well, as normal as you could get with our family. We salted and burned a couple of gooey corpses, then went to the diner across the street for burgers. We all came home, and me and dad had a few beers. That was kinda were it all went pear shaped. Dad stood up to get another bottle when he knocked over mine with his knee.

'Damn, mind out where your putting your beer Dean!' dad had snapped, he then tutted at Sam for laughing. He then went to the top cupboard by the sink to get the cloths, when he found-

'Sam-what are these?' dad said as he waved the addressed envelopes at Sammy. He gave me a complete look of horror and betrayal, and I wished I could just turn back time.

'Dad, umm...listen, those letters are for-'he started

'Are for a college!' dad finished for him. 'What, are we suddenly not good enough for you? Do you want to be away from us?'

'No dad, it's not that...'

'I thought we were all in this-together! What the hell are you doing this for?' dad shouted, his temples bulging.

'We are dad, it's only for a couple of years, and then I'll come back...' Sam said, trying desperately to keep the situation under control.

'Come back to what? Huh! Why the hell would you want to come back! You're ditching us to become a what? What are you gonna go study then?' dad challenged.

'I don't know dad, maybe a lawyer or something like that...'

'A lawyer! Hey, idiot, have you seen our family? You'll bring the law down on us-'

'Not if I don't talk about us!' Sam said, I'm guessing hopeful that he had said something right for a change, but no.

'So you're not going to talk about us then, Sammy boy? Your just gonna cut us out of your life, are you? Why are you turning against your own family boy?' dad shouted.

Sam had enough.

'I NEVER SAID I WAS TURNING AGAINST YOU! IT'S JUST COLLEGE DAD! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?' he shouted, and he got right up to dad's face.


He said. He then walked away, not daring to look dad in the face. I took this as my cue to stand up and start my big brother routine.

I put my hand on dad's shoulder, 'dad, come on, we don't need to fight about this-'

'Did you know?' dad whispered to me. My hand froze halfway down, damn, play dumb dean my mind said.

'Know what?' I asked, my reasoning being if I was in dad's good books, then I could look after Sammy better, I was no good if I were in the dog house too.


'I...I...yes, yes I did' I said.

'And you kept it from me why?' dad asked.

'Because Sam told me not to tell you, cos he knew you'd act like this!' I said, feeling braver for doing so.

'Why you disobedient little...' dad started, and I actually flinched before...

'Why are you yelling at him? He was trying to protect me!' Sam yelled, before walking straight up to dad and saying-

'Yeah, your right, I wanna be away from this family, cos we are a family of nutters! I never wanted to hunt dad-never!'

'Then why are you still here?' dad hissed, his voice low and dangerous.

'You wanna know why? I will give you one good reason why...his names Dean! I didn't want to leave dad with you, cos I knew you'd wear him down! I mean, he actually flinched when you shouted at him just then!'

'You boys need to learn that this is how I run this joint!'

'Yeah, and I am sick of it! I want my own life dad-not yours!' Sam said, before going into his room and starting to pack.

'Where the hell do you think your going?' dad challenged him.

'I don't know, anyway, but it's gonna be better than here!' Sam said.

'You are a selfish, ungrateful, ignorant bastard, you know that!' dad said.

Sam stood up. 'Well, if we are on the subject of name calling, I'll tell you what I really think of you! You are a narcissistic, obsessional son of a bitch who is only interested in revenge! You don't care about us! All you ever think about is yourself! It's just oh where can I go next just so I can try and beat the monster that killed mom? You don't care about dean or me! It's just you and this monster, and that's it!' Sam said, breathing heavily. I could not believe that he had just said all that

'Sammy, maybe we should just get some air...' I started, brushing past dad and standing next to my little brother.

'No! No dean he needed to be told! I can't keep my mouth shut any more!' Sam muttered to me.

'Yeah, ok Sammy, I get that, but I think you just stepped over the line...' I whispered in his ear, grabbing his elbow to try and get him out the door. Sam wrenched his arm away from me

'Is that all you think about dean? How to keep me from overstepping the mark! Don't you wanna tell him how you feel?' he said, gesturing to dad, who had a nasty smirk on his face.

'Well...no' I said, but inside, I really did want to, but I could never ever say those things to dad, not to his face anyway. Sam hissed at me, and bolted for them door, case in hand.

'Whoa Sammy, where are you going man? You can't just leave! Please!' I begged as I scrambled out after him. If Sam was gone, how could I protect him? The Sasquatch always needed protecting. That was my job.

'Watch me Dean! If you can't be honest with dad, you can't be honest with me!'

'Wait, Sam! I'll tell him...I will- just please don't leave!' I cried. It had started to rain. Good, it could hide my tears.

Sam wasn't hiding his emotions either. 'Dean, don't make me feel any worse...please- I gotta go! I gotta be my own man! I'm not like you or dad...'

'That's fine! I'll teach you right! I won't let anything hurt you...please Sammy, don't go!' I begged, the 'rain' falling down my cheeks.

As I wiped my face, I saw Sam coming towards me. 'Dean, please...you gotta let me go! I'll be fine; I'm not a kid anymore! I'll still call...I promise...but you gotta let me go.' Sam choked. I then did something that I never did before. I reached out and hugged him. Sam clasped my shoulders tight, and we both stayed like that for a few minutes, until I felt I could speak.

'Just...just promise me something- ok' I said, breaking away from Sam.

'Sure Dean' Sam said.

'Just...promise me that you'll take care of yourself, and if anything happens, or if you need advice, or kids beaten up...then you call me ok?' I said, tripping over my words in my haste to tell Sammy how I felt. Sam laughed.

'Yeah Dean I promise' he said, nodding. I nodded back, smiling at the courage that my baby brother had, courage that I would never have.

Sam saw me smiling, and gave me a small smile of his own. I knew what was coming next...

'Bitch' I said.

'Jerk' Sam said.

Sam picked up his bag again, and was just about to walk down the road when we both heard heavy footfalls on the pavement, coming up from behind me.

'Sam, if you walk away from this family- don't ever come back...you hear me!' dad yelled, coming to a stop just ahead of me. Sam looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes, and said,

'No dad, you don't mean that...I wont be gone long...I promise-'

'No Sam, I mean it- you walk away-you aint coming back!' dad said loudly.

Sam looked at me, and I was then grateful that dad was in front of me.

in full view of Sam, I gave dad the finger, then shook my head at Sam, hoping that he would get the message that he could come back to me...I wouldn't desert him.

Sam gave me a strange, jerky look, which I presumed meant that he understood.

He then started walking again.

'Goodbye dad' was his last words.

Dad didn't even bother to watch him go; he just walked back into the house we had been squatting in.

I was the one that watched my little brother walk down the road in the rain.

I was the one that watched his shoulders hitch, then rise and fall rapidly as he started to cry.

I was also the one to watch him turn, and start to walk backwards, his eyes searching for me, and then start to wave slowly.

I waved back, chuckling. Trust him to make this into a chick flick moment.

As he turned the corner, and I could no longer see him, I said one final thing before slowly walking back into the house.

'Goodbye Sammy, I'll be seeing ya'

I hope you enjoyed this! I just wanted to write this in Dean's POV, because we all know Sam and John's motives and reasons for the argument, and I thought I would be good if we had Dean's, who was in the middle!

Please please review, I would be really happy if you did!