Harry looked at the report that was given to him, and he didn't know what to say or do about it. He decided to read it again, and look over it slowly as he did so.

Name: Severus Snape

Age: 31

Occupation/s: Former potions and Defence teacher – Hogwarts

Family: Deceased

Marriage Status: Single – lover deceased.

Identifying Marks: "Volde Rules Okay" tattoo on left arm. Tattoo of a semi naked woman performing Oral Sex on a Hippogriff on his back. Dark Mark on right arm. He is also a comeplete and utter greasy haired B(censored)d

Auror Remarks:

Prisoner Snape was brought in and put under the tightest of watching upon arrival. He was taken through the normal procedure which involved him being given prison clothing to wear. The clothing was as follows: one set of black robes, one green jumper, socks, trousers, shoes, shirt and one pair of "I Love Volde" underpants.

Prisoner Snape obeys the most direct orders, but it is after lights out that he is of great interest. He has been observed to masturbate whilst saying "Oooh Master… harder Master… Tom hurt me, Tom hurt me, Tom hurt me, oh Tom hurt me please". Despite his hatred of muggles, Prisoner Snape has been seen during daylight hours to sing the following songs: Barbie Girl, Agadoo, American Pie and The Wombling Song". Checks have confirmed his mind is not damaged.

Harry closed the file and looked at Hermione.

"This is too good to not share" he told her with a wicked smile.

"I'll call the Prophet then" Hermione grinned evily