A/n: Written with the help of MeeShee MuhFFin

Warning: dark themes, smut, nonconsensual/dubious consent, language, blood, psychological turmoil

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts; it belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Square Enix, and Disney Interactive.

Edited: December 18th, 2010

Edited again: July 17th, 2013 (only a few unnoticeable edits in terms of the story, however I removed my idiotic rambling in the author's notes)


Lygophobia

Chapter One


Ventus was afraid of being alone, he was afraid of cramped spaces, he was afraid of his shadow, and he was afraid of the dark. Past friends would always poke fun at him for that, but he knew they didn't understand, which made him only more afraid.

No one understood…

The psychiatrists only asked him stupid questions, quizzed him on what may have sprung such a childish fear. They never accepted that his problem wasn't mental, but a physical being that would seep from the shadows themselves. The epitome of all evil, pain, misery and was his captor as well.

His parents weren't accepting of his mortification. His father would simply scoff at him and order him to stop being a cowardly child and stop trying for attention. Despite the blatant blow to his no longer existing pride, he would cling to them and plead for them not to leave him whenever they would plan to go out and would send him to his room, where the darkness awaited. Where he awaited his arrival.

Terra and Aqua, his only current friends, seemed to understand, but they could just be deceiving him to collect information on his 'disease' for the doctors… Terra never bothered to stay the night before, so he wouldn't know.

…He would never understand. He couldn't.

Every night was the same. First, he would plead with his parents to not shut off the power to his room so he could leave the lights on, but his father would only hiss at him and tell him to cease his whining. Then, they would lock his door from the deadbolt they installed outside so he could not leave in the night, not needing to worry for he had a restroom in his room. Then, he would be forced to wait for the ceiling fan to slow to a stop to show that all power was cut to his room. After, he would wait, curled in a fetal position on his bed or wherever his legs buckled beneath him, wide awake, as he waited for complete darkness to envelope him lest he suffer from a perpetual nightmare. A never-ending torture. He had made sure to put that through Ventus' mind the first time…

His entire situation had all started just two years before, when Ventus had turned thirteen years old. The dark materialization had appeared behind him when he had bid his parents goodnight, catching him off guard as it had wrapped both hands tightly around the boy's neck. It had whispered threatening words into the ear its breath was ghosting over, words that had instantly silenced him and murdered the scream that had built in his throat. He had shut his eyes and attempted to rid himself of the terrible nightmare, but his subconscious only displayed to him horrific images of death and misery.

It had introduced itself as a Shadow, a demon born from the darkness. Their purpose, it had told him, was to bring as much pain and misery to one individual as possible until death of either creature. Strange, it seemed, how the Shadow used different methods than the traditional ways of its brethren. …How they seemed more effective than those of his brethren.

Tonight was like every other night with the inevitable fast approaching him.

"Please Mom, you don't understand!" Ventus pounded on the door, but his mother did not listen to him. On the other side of the door she choked back tears, not understanding what was wrong with her son. Meanwhile his father only rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore him as he pulled away his wife.

"What did I do to deserve a son like this?" he could hear his father complain. Eventually, Ventus heard their retreating voices die away over his cries for exiting the room and his voice died in his throat.

Another night…

He leaned against his door, finding no use to try and fight his father's wishes. The fan on the ceiling of his room decelerated until it came to a full stop, his only light source already snapped off into oblivion, and he thickly swallowed the lump in his throat. The moonlight shining into his room from his opened curtains faded away, but he wasn't surprised by it… That was "normal."

In the corner of his room, where his bed was pushed against the wall, a pair of yellow circles appeared in midair, blinking a few times before scanning the room. Following the eyes, jagged bangs the shade of night itself fell over the golden orbs, and slowly materialized a face. A face, to Ventus, that was to be feared.

Immediately Ventus whimpered helplessly. He covered his face with his hands and lowered his head as he curled into a fetal position against the door. "Not tonight," he pleaded desperately. "Just… No… Please not today…" He inhaled shakily, hands beginning to tremble as the glowing eyes across the room crinkled mockingly. His fingers fisted themselves in the blond spikes atop his head, tugging nervously.

Across the room, the dark figure cackled maliciously, "I don't think begging will help you. You know it never does, idiot."

A chill ran up Ventus' spine and he peaked through his fingers, taking note that the dark figure had fully materialized. Its black, bat-like wings were folded carefully against the demon's back, twitching every now and then when they desired to expand. "But… It's my birthday… I don't…" The figure glided gracefully over to the trembling blond, fisting its hand in his hair to jerk his head up. Ventus stared into the gold eyes in fear.

"We've had this same argument for two straight years, I'm sure you know how this will end." The smirk that was on the dark figure's face was terrifying.

It leaned forward, capturing the blond's lips in a harsh, bruising kiss. Ventus attempted to pull away, but the grip of the hand in his hair only grew tighter. He cried out as he was lifted to his feet, only to be pushed harshly against the door. The Shadow did not hesitate to make haste in breaking away to press its lips to the blond's throat, teeth nipping harshly on the tender skin and pulsing veins that reflected the racing, terrifying beating of his heart. A choked out groan escaped his parted and bleeding lips, as he did not attempt to hold it in. His parents wouldn't hear, the Shadow tormented him by placing a silencing charm on his room during every encounter.

"Vanitas," he pleaded, vainly attempting to trap his head by jerking his shoulder violently. However, the Shadow merely bit down on the boy's jugular with his fangs, drawing blood. Ventus cried out once more, pain searing through his throat.

The Shadow, Vanitas, pulled away, the blond's blood staining his lips as he flicked his tongue over them to clean it away. The venom in the Shadow's saliva was healing the wound, but burned at the injury horribly. It seemed to be one of the many attributes added to a normal Shadow's weapons of torture.

He hated the Shadow with every fiber of his being. Vanitas was pure evil, but it was to be expected of his species of demon. They were for evil, and that's what they did. They all had alike features, such as dark hair and light blue eyes that gradually turned gold as they matured (supposed 'facts' that the internet had taught him). They had ranging skills of torture, from their sharp claws that scarred skin easily to their ability to haunt the dreams of even the strongest minds.

Vanitas lightly trailed his hands down the sides of the blond he had pinned against his bedroom door, fingers tugging up at the hem of the boy's shirt before pulling up the cloth altogether. Ventus squirmed in the Shadow's harsh grip, but his clawed fingers only dug into the boy's skin to hold him in place. When Vanitas had pulled off the blond's shirt, he leaned back to marvel at the boy's chest.

Scars adorned the boy's torso from years of daily torture, making the sight a horrible one. Scars layered upon other scars, jagged and possessive, but miraculously, none of them were raised. Vanitas never worried, if he ever cared at all in the first place, that someone would see them. He knew that Ventus was never intimate with anyone, as the Shadow was convinced that he was his property. Only his, as his name was scratched beautifully into the littered flesh of his back suggested.

Ventus' face contorted into one of anger and he pushed the Shadow away. Vanitas' eyes trailed back up to meet the teen's and a smug grin broke out in his face. The demon grabbed the blond's shoulders and pain immediately flared under his grip. Faintly, Ventus could feel himself being pushed onto a bed, but the pain was too great. A scream ripped through his throat and he shut his eyes tightly. Slowly the pain subsided, but it was replaced by the familiar burning as it healed.

Vanitas harshly pressed his lips to the lips of the blond beneath him, ignoring the last ounce of fight that Ventus gave him before giving in with a brokenhearted whine of despair. He found that fighting the demon was pointless, no matter how many times he pleaded with him or pushed him away, Vanitas would always overpower him.

Feeling a clawed hand rake over his stomach—lightly, teasingly—the muscles of his abdomen twitched beneath the touch. His back arched up against his will, no matter how much he suppressed it. A frustrated growl bubbled in the back of his throat, which was directed towards himself for reacting in such a way, but he swallowed it down.

The hand was now resting against the button if his pants, claws digging into the fibers of the denim surrounding it, puncturing the stitching and creating multiple holes. Ventus pulled away from the bruising kiss for oxygen, gasping when the lips that used to be pressed against his own touched against the crook of his shoulder.

"My pants…" he moaned, feeling the fabric being ripped away by the demon above him and the traitorous bulge hidden beneath the thin fabric of his boxers twitch to life. "Vanitas," he whispered, cringing when the demon's fingers slid slowly along his body's noticeable enthusiasm.
"Yes?" the demon cooed mockingly, nipping at the healed wound on the boy's neck. His teeth caught under two layers of skin before the metallic taste of blood beaded onto his tongue. His teeth sank further, harsher this time, jerking his head left to right and tearing the soft flesh. The screams of terror and pain spilled immediately out of Ventus' lungs, his breath hitching once more. He could already feel his throat go raw from his own screams… and it pained him to think that this was only the beginning…
"Come on, Ventus, you know how this always ends," the Shadow hummed as he lapped idly on the boy's neck, erupting flames that brought relief to the blond, and propped himself up on his elbows to look at the human's face. It was twisted in pain and tracked with tears, eyes mixed in a venomous concoction of hate and disgust.

The demon was unfazed; he saw this every night and it only fueled his want to injure the boy further. The almost comforting feeling of Ventus' lively organ being rubbed was soon gone; instead the demon's claws were raking down his scarred torso. Angry trails of blood woke in their path, slowly creeping down his stomach to rest at the curve of his hips. Vanitas reminded himself that he would have to take care of that later.

"Vanitas! Stop it, stop it!" he cried, trying to thrash around and free himself from the grip of the Shadow. His mouth hung open, eyes shut tight. No other sound emerged from his lips but his heavy breathing.

"Are you sure?" the raven purred, his tone mixed with amusement and his own evil pleasure. "I am just getting to the good part. I will just hurt you until you can't scream anymore. Remember that game? It is really fun… Or at least," he fluttered his eyelashes at the blond beneath him and ran a tongue over his fangs, "it is for me."He heard a disgruntled whimper, the boy's neck craning up and to the left, the new flesh wound freshly healed, leaving a pale, scar that resembled a warped crescent moon.

"Stop it…" he tried once more, closing his tired cerulean eyes in an attempt to block out the pain that would come.

Vanitas merely clicked his tongue in response, choosing not to respond to the boy as he unbuckled the belt he wore and unbuttoned his pants. At the sound of the demon's zipper, Ventus warily opened his eyes. Catching the demon's golden gaze, he glared with all his might.
"I hate you," he breathed, glaring with abhorrence at the demon above him who still had his blood on his lips. Deep down inside, though, Ventus could not comprehend the feeling of doubt that followed what he had hissed. He may have hated the demon, but he was the closest person he had, if whatever twisted relationship they had counted. The demon was the only person that knew the most about him, all his secrets. Although the Shadow didn't care, he still bothered asking to, at the least, become somewhat acquainted with the victim he was stuck with for Ventus' life.

"I know you do," he replied, nonchalantly examining his claws as their lengths receded back into his fingers. The fangs that were prominently poking out between his lips shrunk into his gums and the small wings on his back fused into his body. "But," his indifferent countenance faltered and churned back into a sinister sneer, "I am only human… or at least until midnight." Glancing to the clock, he frowned at what little time he had for the night.

He nestled himself roughly between the blond's parted legs and groaned when his newly acquired length brushed against Ventus'. A gasp escaped the teen's parted lips when the raven haired human buried his face in his neck and thrust against his boxers in a desperate attempt for friction.

No matter how much Ventus hated the demon, he didn't mind Vanitas' human form much. No matter how rough he got, he never damaged the blond too greatly, that which he was grateful for, and he seemed to enjoy closeness more and not just inflicting rough and spiteful injuries. No matter if the demon was there for his own game, Ventus couldn't help all the doubt he had deep inside him; all the conflicting emotions towards him.

Vanitas trailed his hand down the boy's abdomen and hooked his fingers in the hem of the boy's boxers and sharply pulled down, causing the blond's hips to jerk up to meet the harsh bucking of the raven. A moan escaped his lips as he tilted his head back and exposed the tender skin of his neck, which was subject to the raven's newfound aroused interest.

Vanitas discarded the article of clothing and pulled his own pants down, teeth nipping at the blond's collarbone as he positioned himself before Ventus' unprepared entrance. He pushed himself in, wanting to, at the least, hurt the blond but not injure him greatly. He didn't want him bleeding too much on the bed.

Ventus cried out, hands immediately grasping whatever they could. His fingers laced through the thick hair as dark as the night he feared so much, and his other hand fisted in the fabric of the boy's dark shirt that he still hadn't removed. He tugged at it, a fresh, pained scream reverberating through the silent room as the raven pulled out completely and harshly thrust back in, satisfied with the choked squeak that caught in the blond's throat.

"V… Vanitas…" he whimpered, the hand that was fisted in the black fabric of his shirt twitching a bit from the stinging pain in his nether regions before trailing down his back. He tugged at his shirt harshly, back arching as the demon easily found the familiar bundle of nerves deep inside Ventus. "Ahh…" All words lost him as the Shadow began a pace he was familiar with, pathetic whines escalating into moans.

Ventus harshly yanked on the grip he had in the demon's dark hair, jerking his head so they were both connected at the mouths once again. A spark seemed to flit between the both of them and Vanitas pried open the blond's mouth, delving deep into his mouth while the other complied by nudging the demon's tongue with his own. Moaning into the raven's mouth, he met the demon's ministrations with the rocking of his own hips, meeting each thrust with his own. Each lifting of his hips pushed the other deeper, assisting him in the hitting the familiar spot that they both needed for a pleasurable release, despite his hatred for it.

He would never mention to the raven how much he enjoyed the sex. No matter if the demon probably knew.

Ventus broke the kiss, pushing the demon away and into a kneeling position. Vanitas slowed his pace, staring down at the blond strangely. Propping himself onto his elbows he sharply pulled away the scratchy material of the Shadow's shirt and discarded it quickly. Leaning up further, he met the raven halfway in a harsh kiss, hand slipping behind his neck to pull him down on top of him as he collapsed back onto his bed with a bounce.

The touch of skin against his elicited a gasp from the blond, which only intensified into a moan that caught into his throat as Vanitas thrust deep into him once again and assaulted his prostate. His back arched off the bed and into the heated skin of the demon above him, a hand fisting once again in the dark, thick hair. The unfamiliar feeling deep within his mind bubbled positively; in response he only shook his head slightly.

Another thrust, another moan that caused disgust to well deep in his senses. However, the hazy veil of lust only ignored the feeling, choosing to make the blond jerk upward sharply in time when Vanitas pulled out, only thrust back downward to meet the jabs with a fresh supply of groans.

What a disappointment… He could never understand how his situation had turned so… partial in regards to his participation…

Ventus cracked an eye open, catching the golden gaze of the demon above him that was clouded with lust, however, it cleared away lethargically. He lifted both eyelids and locked his gaze with Vanitas. For a moment, it seemed, he forgot all mortal fears and stared at him. The Shadow slowed, mesmerized by the cerulean eyes, how wide they were, how the recurring moonlight seemed to make them glow.

"Vanitas…" The demon broke the lock of their stares to glance at the clock, which read two minutes before midnight. The grimace on the human's face worried him a little, until he looked at the clock as well. Another minute before he turned back into a Shadow again. That meant bad things, for Ventus of course.

The small, barely noticeable connection they had was gone. Yet, when it had been present, he was sure there was an almost softness in his piercing gold eyes. He was caught off guard when the demon said the last few words for that night.

"I'm leaving for a few days, Ven," he looked back down at the moon-washed boy whose glare had returned. "Don't miss me too much," his pace had slowed to a complete stop. With a shudder he pulled out, leaving the blond panting and convulsing in a need for release.

The demon rolled off the side of the bed skillfully, rising to his full height at the end. He grabbed his pair of black jeans that were collected at the foot of the bed with the blond's clothing and slipped them on hastily, threading the leather belt he had found not too far from them through the loops. He searched around and quickly pulled on his shirt as well, which had been thrown across the boy's room. Ventus heard a loud, sickening crack come from the demon's back as his bat-like wings molded into the air and snapped like twigs when the bones popped comfortably back into place. Through the Shadow's parted lips poked out two glistening fangs once again and he ran his tongue over them in satisfaction. His finger nails grew immediately, returning to their original length.

"I'll try my hardest," the blond commented sarcastically, eyeing the demon as he sharply pulled the sheet that was beneath him over his nude body. The Shadow stared down at him in mild amusement before fading away. Just like he had appeared, a glistening pair of golden eyes stared down at Ventus in midair. They blinked a few times before disappearing completely with a flash.

Sighing dejectedly as, like every time, the weight of his entire situation hit him, he threw the covers off him and slightly limped over to the bathroom door. He had only a few hours before the silencing spell fully wore off due to a the spell's unchangeable time limit, so he figured it would be a good idea to wash away the sweat and disgust off of him.

Pulling open the shower curtain, he firmly grabbed the faucet and turned the handle only slightly, jolting when he stuck his hand under the water. It was freezing cold, but he didn't mind. He stepped in, immediately shivering when the water cascaded down onto his vulnerable body.

Frowning, he curled against the wall under the water, bringing his legs tightly against his chest. Hate was the prominent feeling, but as he grasped his throbbing length in a desperate attempt to relieve himself, those feelings melted away. All that was left was the familiar contradicting sentiment congealing deep within him as his breath quickened once more.

How was it that it had come to this? What had he done to deserve this? As much as he reluctantly enjoyed the pleasure, he hated the pain that always seemed attached as a packaged deal. Hell, because of the demon, he hardly had any friends. His fear was well-known in school and he was constantly teased. His friends were always uncomfortable around him, and he couldn't sleep comfortably at night. Because of the demon, he was afraid of the dark. Because of the demon, he walked with an annoying limp every day. Because of the demon, he was afraid to grow close to anyone anymore. A lot of things were the Shadow's fault. He hated him…

However…

If anything, he hated himself. He hated the way he didn't hate the lingering touches. He hated how he didn't hate the kisses or the bruises he was left with. He hated how he didn't hate the scratches that adorned his body, no matter how harshly they marred his once clear skin. Most of all, he hated how he no longer hated the demon… not in the slightest.

…Not at all.


A/n: Wow that sex scene is incredibly embarrassing to read over, wow. I was an awkward little twelve year old, wasn't I?