Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own these characters. I also don't own Ashley Mangin, who has a small part in this yummy tid bit of story-ness. She's my best friend's little sister. :) Enjoy.

A dense, red smoke filled the fifth year Slytherin boys' dorm. Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Victor Crabbe, and Roberto (A/N: i ask you, why the hell not `roberto'?) Goyle came stumbling out of the haze. They finally made their way to a window, where they had their second encounter with lunch.
"I'm going to KILL those damn Gryffindors!" Lucius growled.
Snape felt his whirling head settle back on his shoulders and did some quick thinking. "They must of used `The Drift of Forgetfulness'. Clever of them. It won't come out for days."
"What's that do?" the pathetically slow Victor Crabbe asked.
"It'll temporarily make you forget everything," Snape explained.
"Oh," he said, feigning a look of comprehension. "What's it do?"
Snape and Lucius groaned.
"Mummy! Where's my Mummy!" Goyle cried.
Once again, Snape and Lucius gave exasperated groans, and did not hear the chuckling that came from the corner (guess who?). Chuckling, like *invisible* chuckling. As in, under an *invisibility cloak* chuckling. Such as....okay...moving on.....
"It's going to take a special potion to lift this," Snape said. "One that we can only get..." he inwardly cursed, "from Dumbledore."
Goyle curled up in the fetal position and began to cry.
"There's got to be a way around him! I don't want to explain what we did to deserve this!" Lucius whined. (A/N: quit whining you lousy twit)
"Quit whining," Snape muttered, "it's the only way."
And so, they picked up their infantile friends and started on their way.

Okay okay, I gotta good one....alright, this spoiled brat, a human producer of motor oil, and two gorrillas walk into the headmaster's office...oh, you've heard it. *damn* moving on......grumble grumble.......

Dumbledore laughed as he personally administered the last of the potion to Crabbe and Goyle. He had insisted on doing it himself so he could hear the story, which was a convincing lie (or so Snape hoped) about a potions assignment gone awry. "Well, as amusing as that story was, we've got quite the problem on our hands. No matter how much magic you want to use, that smoke won't clear for four days, sometimes five. We'll have to find you a different dorm to stay in," Dumbledore said.
"We could stay with the Slytherin sixth years," Lucius suggested, "or in the common room."
"No, I'd rather have you with some boys in your own year," Dumbledore said, pulling out a sheet of parchment. "Besides, the sixth year dorm is full." The parchment he scanned listed the dorms of all the houses and their occupants.
Snape felt his stomach tightening into a knot.
"Let's see now... Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle will be with the Hufflepuffs. Lucius, you will room with Ravenclaw. And that leaves you, Severus..." He paused and scanned the list, frowning as he did so. "Ah! Here's an empty bed for you in Gryffindor!"
Snape's heart exploded within his chest and he died instantly, the greasy git. Okay, so he didn't, but for a minute, he thought that he had.
"But, Headmaster, couldn't I stay with Lucius in Ravenclaw?" He begged, a little of Lucius's trademark whine sneaking into his voice.
"I'm sorry, Severus, but there's no room. Besides, maybe we'll be able to bridge that ungodly gap between your two houses, eh?" He smiled, fully aware of how large that ungodly gap was. "I was in Gryffindor myself one time. I can assure you a comfortable stay."
Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Dumbledore hurriedly continued. "Now! I'm sure you boys will want to be on your way. I'll have some of your personal items duplicated and sent to you, as the ones in your room are contaminated. Your new roommates have already been informed of your arrival, and escorts await you outside."
The two unwilling boys and the two boys who were too stone-stupid to understand what was going on headed out of his office. "Toodles!" Dumbledore called after them.
Sure enough, Severus came face-to-face with a young girl with brown hair and a Gryffindor seal on her robes as he stepped out the office door. He eyed her suspiciously.
"Do you room in the boys' dorm?" he asked snidely.
The girl growled, and a demented look came into her eye. "No, you spoon, I'm a representitive."
"Oh, well, that makes sense," he cynically said.
Suddenly, the girl was cheerful. Frighteningly so. "Let's go!" she said, jumping onto his back.
Severus gave a yelp. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Piggy back ride!" the girl said, clapping her hands like a child. (A/N: you're right, Ashley, that sounds like something I would do, not you.)
"But I don't even know you? WHO ARE YOU?"
"Ashley Mangin. Now, FORWARD MARCH!"
Severus gave Lucius one pleading glance and dragged himself and the spaz away. Meanwhile, back in Dumbledore's office.....

"This is really cruel. You do know that, don't you?" Dumbledore asked me.
(A/N: oh, albus, you don't mean that. you think it's just as funny as i do)
"Yes, of course I find it funny, but I wasn't talking about the plot. I was talking about making your readers go through this entire chapter before they get to anything remotely humorous."
(A/N: thanks for the vote of confidence.)
"I find the plot simply charming. That's why I helped you with it. I'd never make a Slytherin and a Gryffindor room together if I didn't know they were in your capable hands. Say....where are the socks?"
(A/N: oh, they're coming. they'll always be...around)
"Ah, good then. It isn't an Evie story without troublesome stockings!" He looked at the clock. "I dare say it's past my bedtime. Good night."
(A/N: good night, albie)
"Oh, and Evie, do try to keep your eyes off Mr. Lupin while he's in the shower this story. We don't want a repeat of `Marauders:Exposed', now do we?"
(A/N: hey, i happen to like that story!)
"Yes, I suppose you would."
(A/N: careful, or you'll find yourself in a relationship with mcgonnagal)
A femine voice sounded from the next room. "Albus, are you coming to bed?"
(A/N: *the author pales* well, there goes my idle threat)
Dumbledore chuckled and went to bed. We won't talk about the rest. (shudder)
***i know that this chapter was too long and boring, but it's about to get better, i promise....next chapter, severus's first night in the gryffindor dorms. not quite as innocent as it seems...then again, it never is when sirius black and i have teamed up together***