This is a compilation of Jack Bauer and Jack Shepard quotes from 24 and Lost respectively Dr. Shepard and Agent Bauer finally meet, but they don't hit it off so well...


I do not own Lost or 24. They belong to ABC and Fox respectively.

"Who are you?" Jack Shepard asked the strange blond man.

"My name is Jack Bauer. I'm with the Counter Terrorist Unit in Los Angeles." Bauer answered.

"Jack Shepard."

"Who are you working for? WHO ARE YOU WORKING FO$R?" Jack Bauer demanded.

"What the hell is your..."

"Shut up, stupid!" Bauer demanded, pulling a gun on Shepard.

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" Shepard yelled back.

"You want my advice- fine. If you don't, don't. I don't care." Bauer replied shaking his head.

Jack S. sighs. "This is ridiculous."

"You tell yourself whatever you want." Jack B. replied.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jack S. asked.

"A nuclear bomb is going to go off somewhere in the city today."

"And I'm just supposed to believe you." Jack S. scoffed and shook his head.

"I've never been more serious in my entire life." Jack B. said morosely.

"What are you planning?" Jack S. asked, curious.

"We need to fly the bomb out of the city."

"Ok, fine."

Jack B smirks. "He shouldn't be playing with adults."

"Look, I need for you to..." Jack S sighed. "I need o know what's going on inside your head."

"My wife was murdered because I was responsible for protecting David Palmer during an assassination attempt. My daughter can't even look at me. Everyday I regret looking into the eyes of men, women and children knowing that any moment their lives might be deemed expendable in an effort to protect the greater good. I regret every decision or mistake that I might have made which resulted in the loss of a single innocent life. But do you know what I regret the most? Is that this world needs people like me." Jack B said sadly.

"I'm sorry." Jack S said, bowing his head.

Jack scoffed. "You're sorry?"

"What is it that you want from me?" Jack S demanded.

"Nothing. Nothing." Jack B just shook his head.

"That's why the Red Sox will never win the damn series." Jack S said.

"Look, if you think your need to complain is more important than the lives of the people that are counting on us, go whine somewhere else!" Jack B snapped.

"Where were you? WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH?" Jack S screamed and tackled Jack B to the ground.

Jack B pushes Jack S off and pins him against the wall. "So help me God, I will kill you and you will stay dead this time!"

"If we can't live together...we're gonna die alone."

Jack chuckled wryly. "I'm already dead."

"Stop lying!" Jack S yelled.

"If you knew who I was and the things I've done before in my life, you would know that I'm not bluffing." Jack B said simply.

Jack S glared at Jack B and shoved the green poison pill in his mouth, and immediately doubled over.

"You stupid bastard, you swallowed it!" Jack B said in astonishment.

"Nothing is going to happen!" Jack S shouted.

"I don't give a fu-"

"We're done here." Jack S started walking off.

"See this? No emotion." Jack B stated.,

"Why do you find it so easy?" Jack S demanded.

"We're gonna have to kill him."

"I am not a murderer." Jack S declared.

"You do not want to try me." Jack B threatened.

Jack S rounds a corner and starts shooting at Jack B. Jack B ducks behind a table and shoots back. They run at each other. Jack S punches Jack B, who pushes Jack S down. Jack S leaps up and stabs Jack B in the stomach. Jack B stabs Jack S back.

Jack S walks through the bamboo forest, slowly falls down to his back, and closes his eyes, dead.


Jack B walks off into the sunrise, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

...I know. That made almost no sense. But I saw a few "crossover vbideos" on YouTbe, and I was inspired!