He took a step forward; he raised his arms and grabs my wrist. Things happen so fast that I didn't exactly know what was going on. He pulled me in to his arms once again, and then he kissed me.
He kissed me like he there was no tomorrow, like he, like myself, had wanted this for a very long time. His arms were around my petite waist keeping me close to his basketball player body while my arms were around his pale neck to keep myself from melting from his touch.
We parted, but I kept my eyes close. I was so afraid that it had been part of my imagination. Afraid that it was another cruel game from my lonely heart.
"Bells," I heard his soft and yet husky voice called my name. I slowly open my eyes to find him still in front of me, inches away from my face, looking right into my brown eyes - looking into my soul. We stood there in silence, neither one of us saying anything.
"What are you doing here?" I finally asked. There it goes again, my walls, the walls I use to hide my feelings. I slipped my arms away from his neck but he didn't let go.
"I couldn't handle the thought of… you seeing… someone," he confessed.
"Again?" I asked. I tried to push him away but he didn't even move.
"You don't get..." he stopped as he looked for the right words on his mind… or maybe he was trying to know if he should tell me what he felt. "how much it hurts me to know that you're in love with someone else… that isn't me," he finally said.
"I can have a guess" I said as I looked down at my black and white converse.
"If you had feelings for me… why didn't you tell me?" he asked,
"If you had feeling for me, why didn't you tell me?" I repeated.
"Because you're my best friend's cousin," he answered.
"Because you're my cousin's best friend," I shot back. "Because you didn't see me the way I saw you," I continued. "Because you were with someone else. Because you didn't want what I wanted!" I finished.
"And what do you want?" he asked.
"I want you to be mine, I want you to call me yours, I want you to hold my hand, kiss me, hug me, care for me… I want so many things that I know can't be true," I said and he nodded making my heart break. A part of me knew, it couldn't be but at the same time I wanted him to tell me that it wasn't true.
"There are things in this world that aren't meant to happen but they happen anyways," he said. As he finished these words he leaned down to capture my lips into another passion filled kiss. As much as I wanted to feel his lips again I turn my head away.
"No… this is wrong," I said. I pushed him away again but this time his arms let go of my waist while his eyes burn deeply in my skin. "You have to go," I said firmly as I looked at him.
He gave a hard small laugh, a deep chuckled that rumble in his chest. "You don't want this?" He asked.
"I want this… but it isn't right!" I said.
"You prefer to be unhappy to do the right thing?" He asked.
"Of course," I said. I looked down once again, waiting for him to leave, waiting until I was able to not see him again. Another dark chuckled rumble in his chest and then I felt his lips on my forehead as my nose got buried in his chest, intoxicating me with his sweet and yet hard scent.
"You wouldn't be the girl I love if you did the wrong thing," he said in a teasing tone making my heart jump with joy. He softly placed his hand under my chin and made me look in to his yellowish torturing eyes. He leaned and kissed my lips softly and then he left.
The next day, I went to school early since I went to the library because I had to do some paper. When I got there, there was only one car parked in the parking lot, right beside the one I always took.
I knew the car well, but I wasn't sure if I was right. When I parked the car I notice that whoever owned the car was still inside listening to some R&B. Trying to find out who it was, I leaned towards the window to look inside but I still couldn't see.
All of a sudden the window rolled down, making me jump back, and I found a smirking Edward. Of course. Why didn't I know that before? "You know it's easier to knock on the window than look inside and take a peek when the owner is watching you from the inside," he said.
"What are you doing so early in school?" I asked.
"I'm waiting for Jessica," he said as his smirk sliped away from his lips and a frown took over his face.
"Oh," I said. Again my heart broke a little bit more."Well… see you later I guess," I said with a shrug and I walked away.
"Bella wait!" I heard him yell. I heard him open his door, slam it shut and run after me. He grabbed my wrist once again and turn me around. "It's not what you think," he said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Me waiting for Jessica, it's not what you think," he said.
"I don't think anything…" I said as I raised my eyebrow.
"Bells, don't play dumb with me," he said as he pulled me closer. Our faces were inches away now, and somehow I thought I was going to take over this craving for his lips, but then I heard a car come. I looked over his shoulder and once again I put my walls up, and started acting like the indifferent sister I thought he wanted me to be.
"Jessica's here," I said as I pushed him away. "Might I say… the fight is starting early today," I said as I saw the anger on Jessica's pale face as she got out of her car.
"I don't care," he said as he pulled me back. "Might as well let the fight give me more reason to do what I want to do," he said with a sly smirk. He kissed my cheek, let go of my wrist and turned around to look Jessica who looked like she was about to explode.
I turn around and kept walking towards the library where I wanted to be. In my head, his last words kept replaying, I didn't know what it meant but I surely didn't want to think about it.
By second period two rumors have spread. One Edward Cullen had dumped Jessica Meyers. Two Edward had cheated on her with an unknown girl. Both rumors were true and everyone knew it. Jessica was miserable, I had found her in the bathroom floor crying. That was my first clue, he had dumped her but it wasn't me who spread the rumor, it was the girls who entered the bathroom after me that did the job to announce that Edward Cullen was now single.
The second rumor, I heard in first period… History. Everyone was talking about the break up, but I heard the girl next to me tell the girl in front of her that Edward had told Jessica that he loved another girl and that he wanted to end things with her to be with the girl he truly loved, another part of that same rumor was that Jessica had seen the girl when she got to school that morning, but she didn't recognize who it was.
Only Edward and I knew that it had been me.
I felt bad because I knew how much Jessica loved Edward, even if she was a bitch to me and tried to keep him away from all of us, I knew that she had truly loved him.
At lunch time, when Edward sat with the rest of us, he was cheered by Emmett. "Dude, what made you do it?" Emmett asked.
"I have my eye on someone else," Edward said with a smirk, getting a cat call from Emmett who got slaped shut by Rosalie. In the corner of my eye I could see that Edward was looking at me as well but I still pretended not to care, I had my iPod, so it was easier to pretend that I wasn't listening to them.
"So anyway, you guys missed the café last night it was awesome!" Emmett said.
"I agree I had tons of fun," Alice said with a grin while everyone else agreed.
"Well, now that I'm free… for now… maybe we can all go sometime" Edward said still smirking.
"That would be awesome," Emmett said.
"We can go tonight… after all it's a Friday night. No school tomorrow" Alexa said.
"That's a great idea" Everyone agree.
"What do you say Belly?" Alice nudge me getting everyone's attention to me.
"Can't… busy… Got to work," I said with a shrug.
"Work? You don't have a job. Oh I see you're going to meet up with THE BOY" Rosalie said in a teasing tone, trying to get Edward jealous.
"No!" I yelled. She stared at me confuse, and then I realize that she didn't know that that boy was Edward. "I'm helping my dad with somethings," I lied.
"Geez don't have to get all defensive with me," Rosalie said.
"Sorry, I'm a little stressed," I said with a sigh as I got up. "I have to get something… I'll see you guys around," I said.
"Can I help you?" Edward asked.
"No… you stay," I said with a glare and walked away. Chills ran down my back as I walked to the library. I didn't know why and I didn't want to find out. I just knew I had to get the hell away from Edward.
Hours later I had found myself in a small studio that me and Alice had been using since we started high school. Neither of us wanted to become a singer or something but it was fun to sometimes come down and sing some stuff to feel better or just have fun.
Right now I needed to get out all the feeling and emotions I had built up inside before I kept snapping at people like I had done today.
I dropped my back pack in one of the chairs and walked toward the microphone in the middle of the room. In my hand I carried the control to the stereo, where I already had the song paused and ready for me to sing it.
I clicked play and let the soft intro of Kissin' You by Miranda Cosgrove fill the room. I didn't like her very much but it felt like the perfect song for me right now.
I softly ended the song and sighed. I felt so much better now, relive and liberated. When all of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I notice someone standing, leaning against the door frame. I turned to see who it was and my heart stopped for a minute. "What are you doing here?" I asked out loud. Edward, who had been the one standing there chuckled and slowly let himself in.
"I got worried when I went to check up on you and didn't find you… so I asked Alice if she might have an idea of where you were and she told me to come here… and here you are," he explained.
Great… all I wanted was to forget about him for a couple of minutes, to forget what happened these past days and he comes looking for me. "What do you want?" I asked.
"I want to know what you are so mad about" He said calmly as he sat in one of the chairs and stared at me, waiting for an answer.
"I'm mad because you are selfish," I said with a glared, while crossing my arms across my chest.
"Selfish… and why do you think that?" He asked.
"Because you broke up with Jessica…"
"To be with you," he finished for me.
"Yeah," I said.
"And that is selfish… why?" He asked as he raised his eyebrow. My mind went completely blank as I couldn't think of why it was selfish. "As I see it, I did that so there was something right about us being together," he said.
"But… we can't tell people," I said. "I can't see myself doing that."
"It's just for now," he said simply. He rose from his seat and walked to over to where I was. "Until things clear up."
Our attraction, or addiction was strong.
"Does this mean we're seeing each other officially?" I asked as I looked once again into his deep yellow eyes.
"If you say so," he said with a smirk.
"That's a infuriating response." I glared at him making his chest rumble with a chuckled.
"I don't know what 'officially' means," he said.
"'Officially' means officially."
"Oh?" He said with confusion.
"You know, for real." I crossed my arms and glared at him, I was getting impatient.
"Every moment of my life is for real, Baby," He chuckled.
"Just answer me this: Why hasn't it happened already?"
"You tell me." He smirked. "You were the one running away"
"I wasn't sure if it was for real"
"Is that is all?" He asked.
"No, not just that," I sighed. Truth to be told, I was afraid that he couldn't love me the way I wanted to be loved. I was afraid he didn't really have the capacity to love anyone. I was afraid that, given the chance he'd break my heart but I just cheated and said "I guess I was afraid."
I looked down at my shoes once again, afraid he might walk away. Before I knew it, his arms had wrapped themselves around my waits. He laid a hand under my chin and made me look back into his eyes. "Don't be afraid," he said. "Our dreams are about to come true."