So I'm gonna compile my random HD one-shots here that are kind of random crack!fic ideas, okay?
Here is one and it's short, but I hope you like it!
WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.
"Dean…please sit down." Lana said softly, laughing a little and reaching out to grab his shirt.
Dean had been pacing for the last fifteen minutes and though Lana had been the one who was freaking out at first, she was suddenly just flooded with laughter. It was the first time that Johnny had done something that Dean wasn't on board with and Lana had thought he would be on board with it—it wasn't like it wasn't time. They'd known the day would come and though Lana felt the most protective, Dean's dormant 'hunter' genes had kicked in and he was completely alert.
"Did she look fishy to you?" Dean asked suddenly.
Lana laughed again and shook her head. "No…no she did not look fishy to me."
"Think she's a shapeshifter? I bet she's a shapeshifter!" Dean exclaimed nodding vigorously.
"Dean…I'm pretty sure she's not a shapeshifter." Lana told him, standing up and holding him there by his button-up shirt. "Just take a deep breath and feel thankful that only one of our children is out tonight. You still have Lily and Serena right here in the house safe and sound—Trevor is at his 'slumber party' with Aunt Kate, Uncle Sammy and his cousins tonight, sorry."
Dean nodded and allowed his wife to kiss him, closing his eyes and trying to relax as she slipped her fingers into his hair, laughing a little against him. He rolled his eyes and pulled back and gave her a look, knowing her well enough by then to know why she was laughing. How was it funny? Why wasn't she as worried about Johnny being out as he was? Wasn't she supposed to be ruled by her maternal instincts or something like that?
"Shapeshifter." Lana said laughing, reaching for him and continuing to laugh as he pulled away from her and pouted.
Dean tried to pull his best 'puppy' face. "Our son is out there right now with some random chick we don't even know and you're laughing at me for being protective of him!"
"You know, once upon a time you banged anything with legs." Lana said with a shrug. "And if I remember correctly, you didn't have any powers to protect you so…I'm pretty confident that Johnny is going to be just fine—even though I wish we knew more about her too."
"Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, nodding as Lana shook her head. "He can hack into databases and look her up for us!"
Lana shook her head and took his hands in hers, kissing them. "No, Baby—we have to leave this one alone or Johnny's going to be pissed at us."
Dean sighed loudly and just nodded as Lana snuck another kiss from him, trying to figure out how he got there—how he'd become the parent that freaked out. Just that morning he was giving Johnny all sorts of dating tips that Lana was rolling her eyes at and Lana had been wringing her hands trying to figure out how to get through the night and Dean had enjoyed it that way. As soon as Johnny and Abigail had pulled out of the driveway though, he and Lana had quickly switched places and now Dean felt like he was in the wrong shoes—he felt like he should be calm.
"Give it back, Lily!" Serena yelled from upstairs.
Lily shook her head. "No! You shouldn't have gone in my room!"
"It's your turn." Lana said quickly, her and Dean rushing to speak at once.
He sighed loudly and nodded when she started to stare him down and he suddenly started to ponder a whole other series of questions—how did he become a father? Johnny was born and Dean had felt like a part of him was grounded in the "normal world" and he wanted another child with Lana so badly. Dean had firmly believed he'd found the woman he could never be parted from and even though extremely upset about a second pregnancy at first because Lucifer had been freed, Lana warmed up to the idea of having a little girl. Then came Serena and Dean was done…even though Lana had just wanted one more since they were no longer hunting as a lifestyle…and she'd gotten him—Trevor.
"Hey! I'm coming up there!" Dean announced as he headed for the stairs.
Lily made a loud derisive noise. "Great, Serena! Now look what you've done!"
"Me? You stole Mrs. Beary!" Serena yelled back.
"Maybe you shouldn't have read my diary!" Lily yelled, Dean entering the doorway of his eldest daughter's room and rubbing his temples.
Here Dean Winchester was, a settled down man with four kids, a wife and even a dog and most days he was happy—most days. Sometimes he felt like he was missing things since he no longer hunted, and at the same time, he had done so well in life…he was leaving behind a legacy through his children. Wow…he was a settled down man with four children. A 16 year-old son, a barely 14 year old daughter, another 10 year-old daughter, and an 8 year-old son. He was hoping that would be it—he loved his children but enough was enough…maybe he should see that doctor about a vasectomy…
"Serena, what were you doing reading your sister's diary?" Dean asked her and then looked at Lily. "What are you doing stealing a 10 year old's teddy bear? Don't you have your own?"
Lily blushed as Serena stuck her tongue out at her older sister. "See? Stealing Mrs. Beary isn't helping you to not be in just as much trouble as me!"
"At least you know you're in trouble." Dean told Serena and then sighed. "I suggest you find a new hiding place for your diary, Lil, and give Ser back her bear. Both of you are grounded for a week. Seem fair enough?"
"Mommy would only ground us for a few days!" Serena protested, stomping her foot on the floor and pouting in the way that Dean always caved to—she looked so much like Sammy when she pouted like that…a perfect puppy dog pout.
Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, well, maybe next time you will fight when it's your mother's turn to dish out discipline."
The girls sighed and after Lily begrudgingly handed over Serena's bear, Serena headed to her room and Lily went on a hunt for a new hiding place for her diary. Then Dean went back downstairs and smiled tiredly at his wife, taking the coffee she handed to him. As she sipped hers, Dean set the cup on the counter in the kitchen and rested his hand on her hip, kissing her forehead and starting to kiss her neck. He smiled as Lana giggled and set her cup down too, pulling away and then crashing her lips against his, pulling back and then reaching up…pulling out a hair.
"Ow!" Dean exclaimed loudly.
Lana showed him the hair and watched his eyes widen. "Our children are giving you gray hairs…it's kind of hot."
"Fuck!" Dean yelled and then took the strand of hair and pouted. "You know I blame you! You made me let you in! You made me trust and love you! You made me want to marry you! You made me want kids and a life with you! My gray hairs are on your head!"
"I'm okay with that, cause I think they're sexy." Lana said with a laugh, winking at him and then kissing him, laughing some more as he hoisted her up and set her on the counter, stepping as close to her as the edge of the counter would allow. "Okay our kids are still up and about, this isn't even fair."
Dean shrugged at her. "Life isn't fair."
Lana laughed again and Dean just smiled—her laugh was so infectious and he just loved it so much he couldn't even begin to describe it to her. There was so much he had thought he'd someday do and none of those thoughts had led to a normal life…none of them had led to him having a family all his own. He realized that he had it good and he wouldn't trade it and he wanted his wife—he wanted his wife bad. Nothing else mattered…all that mattered right then and there was kissing his wife—was making sure she knew that this was where he wanted to be and he was glad she'd never given up on him…glad she'd always protected him and believed in him.
"Mom? Dad? I'm home!" Johnny called out as Dean went to unbutton one of Lana's shirt buttons, Johnny entering the kitchen since he'd smelled coffee. "Oh God…please tell me Mom just didn't want to stand."
Lana laughed a little and then looked at her eldest. "Why are you home so early, Johnny-Bear?"
"She was a shapeshifter." Johnny said with a disappointed shrug as he grabbed an apple. "I'm going to go to bed after finishing some homework. Love you guys and goodnight."
Lana and Dean murmured some goodnights and then just stayed where they were both of them dumbfounded. Suddenly it dawned on Dean, however, that he was right and he turned to face his wife, a big grin on his face that he just couldn't seem to contain and Lana shook her head. She understood this aspect of her husband all too well and she wasn't just going to let him get away with it.
"Don't you dare say it, Dean! If you say it, you're not getting laid for a week!" Lana promised, pointing her finger at him sternly.
Dean took a deep breath and then decided to anyway. "I told you she was a shapeshifter."
"You did this to yourself—no sex for a week." Lana replied with a shrug.
"It was worth it." Dean taunted even though he was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to hold out for an entire week.
"Really?" Lana asked him, unbuttoning the buttons of her shirt and opening it up for him to see, smiling as the disappointment crossed his beautiful hazel irises and he grunted, biting his lip. "Because I wore your favorite bra and I'm kind of in the mood right now."
Dean swallowed, closed his eyes and sighed. "Son of a bitch."
Note: Okay, this was just a crack!fic one-shot and I needed to write it down and post it. Hope you liked it! More crack!fic one-shots to come here, I promise. Feedback is always appreciated!