The Honeymoon from Hell
Morgan was sitting in her room crying all morning, no it was not because Zarbon left for work or because her daughter with Zarbon married Vegeta's son Trunks, it was because she had another miscarriage. As if having unprotected sex with Zarbon was not bad enough, only that it altered her DNA to the point where it made her pregnant well into her fifties.
Anyways, to make a long story short, she promised that after the baby was born that she would get her ovaries removed so that she did not get pregnant again, now that promise could come true since there was no baby anymore. This miscarriage was hard on her, but it would be even harder on Zarbon when she would tell him the news.
In fact she had the miscarriage that morning, she knew so because she had at least three miscarriages already during her lifetime with Zarbon. She considered ZJ and Issy lucky to have survived those nine months in her womb.
She was crying in bad, then her stupid ex-lover Stalin showed up, in spirit that is, since he died many and I mean many years ago. He did not come by as often as he used to, ever since Morgan and Zarbon brought Vegeta and Bulma to their planet earth and let them live in their house for the summer, Stalin's ghost had not stopped by. Perhaps it is because Vegeta rubbed him the wrong kind of way as he did everyone else, other than that theory, the reason not known.
Stalin looked at his ex crying like a baby, he felt somewhat bad for her, since she was pretty much the only person other than her two children that he adored. He sat on the bed, "Hello Morgan!" He said trying to be as happy as he could be so that she could smile.
"Joey what are you doing here? I missed you!" Morgan said.
"I didn't come here to fuck you, you said we were officially over, in fact I came to bring a gift for Issy and Trunks since I couldn't make it to the wedding." Stalin said.
"Thanks, what is that?" Morgan asked pointing to that solid plant that Stalin had in his hand, despite his fierce ruthless reputation, he had a soft side for small dogs and flowers, cats were ok as long as they did not hiss at him.
"It's a Venus flytrap that I found in the Amazon which was left unexplored!" Stalin said setting the plant on the table.
"It's so pretty are you sure that it's a Venus flytrap?" Morgan asked.
"Watch this!" Stalin said taking a tarantula out of his pocket and throwing it down into the flytrap, Morgan and Stalin watched as the flytrap gobbled the spider up.
"Poor little thing!" Morgan said sobbing even more.
"Relax its already dead, why were you crying?" Stalin asked putting his arm around Morgan, although she made it clear that they were through, he still had a slight crush on her.
"Well I had another miscarriage." Morgan said.
"I thought you already went through menopause." Stalin said.
"I thought I did too, but Bulma's clone said it was a false menopause since my body was absent of Zarbon for a while. Then when we had unprotected sex again I didn't think I would get pregnant again, and well it happened, and now the baby is dead, I had a miscarriage this morning." Morgan said.
"Well good luck with that I have to go now!" Stalin said about to go back to the spirit world where he belonged.
"Why can't you comfort me like you used to?" Morgan asked upset.
"Because if I stick around then we'll end up having sex," Stalin said as he vanished.
Morgan looked at the Venus flytrap; it was so beautiful it was possibly the most beautiful thing Stalin had ever given to her besides roses from his garden.
Later on that morning Zarbon's dad Morphiess was in front of the mirror in the bathroom and had been for about an hour, he was so annoying and Vegeta and Bulma needed to look at themselves, "Morphiess you've been in there all morning!" Bulma yelled.
"Yah let us look at our outer beauty for once!" Vegeta said.
Bulma blushed, "Oh Vegeta, I never knew you still thought I was good looking." She said hugging him and kissing him on the cheek.
"Don't push your luck Bulma!" Vegeta said.
"How sweet you called me by my first name!" She then started kissing him on the cheek whereas Vegeta rolled his eyes.
Morphiess saw Bulma hugging Vegeta, "Wow looks like someone has a girlfriend!" he said laughing with joy.
"Stop teasing me you big goof!" Vegeta said pushing Bulma into the bathroom and shutting the door.
"You care about me being beautiful after all, that is so sweet!" Bulma said in the bathroom.
Morphiess laughed with gayness, "Where do I get one of those hot chicks from?" He asked.
"Shut up before I make you!" Vegeta said.
Meanwhile in Bora Bora, Issy and Trunks were at a resort having a good time, they were drinking some margaritas, "Wow what do you call these masterpieces?" Trunks asked.
"It's called a margarita," Issy said looking at Trunks.
"Ok then, sorry I'm not used to drinking alcohol." Trunks said.
"Well get used to it because when you live with me you'll be drinking all the martinis that you can handle." Issy said.
Later that night they were in bed getting it on to Marvin Gay's song "Get it On" but then the CD skipped and Issy jumped out of bed naked and then put on another CD.
"Sorry about that." She said.
"Issy, do you think that we'll be together forever?" Trunks asked.
Issy's eyes grew wide, "Why do you ask that?" She asked.
"Because I'm scared that you won't love me forever," Trunks said.
Issy smiled uncomfortably, "Ew you're starting to sound like my dad when he was courting my mom awhile back." Issy said lifting an eyebrow.
"What's wrong with that?" Trunks asked.
"Never mind you wouldn't understand," Issy said looking down.
"I'm going to bed now," Trunks said turning the lights out.
Zarbon came back from work, "Hey Morgan where are you?" he asked all happy. He saw Morgan drinking some coffee at the table, he ran over to the table and sat down next t her, "How was your day sweetie?" he asked kissing her on the lips.
"Hey Zarbon I have bad news." Morgan said.
Then Zarbon started to look sad, "You're breaking up with me again?" he asked.
"Worse than that, we lost the baby!" Morgan said.
Zarbon grew sad for a moment and then said, "Excuse me while I grieve in private!" He then ran to the bathroom and started crying all over the place.
Vegeta on the other hand was waiting for Trunks and Issy to return from the Honeymoon, he was as nervous as the day he arrived on Morgan's Planet Earth. Bulma walked up to him,
"You know sport it looks like you could use some orange juice," Bulma said.
"Can't you see I'm waiting for someone?" Vegeta yelled annoyed at Bulma bothering him.
"Waiting for whom? It better not be another girl!" Bulma said who occasionally had some jealousy issues especially since a bunch of girls from the other Planet Earth they lived on were fans of his, since they saw him do battle in the rings at the karate challenges, but those women meant nothing to him, Bulma was the only woman he would ever love.
Vegeta was shocked that she would make this allegation, "What the hell have you been smoking woman?" he asked with sweat running down his checks.
"You know that Trunks and Issy are on a two week vacation in Tahiti right?" Bulma asked.
"Yes but they'll be back soon I know it!" Vegeta said.
"They left two days ago honey! Come on let's go make my big strong man some toast!" She said grabbing him by the arm, he reluctantly went to the table and sat down.
Later on after breakfast Zarbon was still sobbing at the table while Morgan tried not to notice, so she put the newspaper up to her face and started reading it, Vegeta looked at Zarbon sobbing, he was annoyed with Zarbon's emotional nature.
"What the hell happened?" he asked Zarbon.
"Morgan had another miscarriage this morning!" Zarbon said.
"Are you sure it was a miscarriage? I've had plenty of those, who said bearing hybrid children was an easy thing to do?" Bulma said putting Vegeta's arm around her shoulder.
"Ha I'm so happy that you don't have to feed anymore mouths for once!" Vegeta said laughing.
"Honey apologize right now!" Bulma said stepping on Vegeta's foot.
"Ouch! I'm sorry Morgan!" Vegeta yelled.
"That's ok Vegeta; I didn't want another baby anyways!" Morgan said.
"What do you mean you didn't want another one?" Zarbon asked.
"Now I've done it." Morgan thought.
"Hey Zarbon how about you do us all a big favor and control you woman!" Vegeta said.
"Absolutely not, we're not on Planet Freezer or Planet Vegeta; we don't control our women in America!" Zarbon said.
All the sudden Bra and ZJ came into the room with Zarbon the Third, ZJ's son and Joseph, ZJ's second cousin whom he named after Stalin. "Hey Mr. Brief, Bra wants to tell you something!" ZJ said.
Bra was a little nervous since she knew how stubborn her father was, "Daddy I've been thinking that I've been nothing but a spoiled rich brat!" Bra said.
"Nonsense, you're wonderful darling!" Vegeta said.
"Yah I wish I could think that," Bulma said rolling her eyes since she and Bra were constantly at each other's throats about boys and cloths.
"I have found a path to salvation! You need to come and see!" Bra yelled.
"It's wonderful Mr. Briefs!" Joseph yelled.
"Yah you need to come and join us at the congregation that my dad goes to!" Zarbon the Third yelled, that little turquoise boy with black eyes and black hair.
Vegeta blushed, he did not know what a congregation was, he was scared to ask, Bulma who noticed this fear asked for him, "Excuse us, but what is a congregation?" Bulma asked.
"It's a synagogue where Jews go to worship God!" Bra said.
Vegeta's eyes grew wide, he was in no way a believer of God and felt guilty enough that he was an atheist, he then said, "No thanks I'll pass!"
"You're going tomorrow whether you like it or not! You might have fun!" Bulma yelled.
"Yah daddy it's got singing in a language I've never heard of before and it's fun to try to figure out what they're saying!" Bra yelled clapping her hands with excitement.
Vegeta had to think of a way out of this one, "You did this didn't you?" He asked pointing his finger at Morgan," She ignored him, put sugar in her tea and mixed it around.
"Just ignore him, he's just scared that a synagogue could be a prison or something," Bulma said.
"Trust me Vegeta you don't want to mess with me, I have a mind of my own," Morgan said glaring at Vegeta.
Vegeta did not feel scared by Zarbon's woman who was an inch shorter than he was, although she did seem to have that mysterious energy around her since she was a professional sorceress who had spirits as friends.
Then he did something that even he would not think to do, he called Trunks and Issy in Bora Bora when they were both asleep, Trunks answered the phone, "Hello?" He asked with his eyes barely opened.
"It's me you dork!" Vegeta yelled.
"Dad what do you want, its night time here." Trunks said.
"They're going to get me…" Vegeta tried to yelled, but then Trunks interrupted.
"Who's out to get you?" He asked.
"In other words son, our new in-laws want me to go to the synagogue with them tomorrow! Help me I have to hide!" Vegeta yelled.
Trunks laughed, "Well dad I never thought I would hear you say that!" He said.
"Please Trunk let me come and stay with you and Issy for a while!" Vegeta said.
"Ok fine I'll give you the hotel of where we are staying!" Trunks said turning the lights on, getting a sheet of paper that had the name of the hotel they were staying in, "It's the Grand Love Resort." He said.
"Ok I'll see you in a couple of days then, take care!" Vegeta then hung the phone up.
That night, Vegeta walked out of the house with a suitcase, but not before he looked at Bulma sleeping on the floor with Bra, ZJ and Bulma's clone, he looked at her, "I'm sorry honey I have to disobey you this one time." He thought then walked out of the house never to be heard from again…for another two weeks at least!
Next day everyone was getting ready to go to the Synagogue and ZJ was the first to be dressed, he also had a Yamika on his head, Bra came into the room dressed fancy, "No Bra this is a congregation not a cocktail party! You need to make sure that your bosoms don't show!" ZJ said looking at her sleazy cocktail dress.
"Fine I'll go change then," She said with a miserable look on her face.
Zarbon was even more unimpressed he stood in front of the mirror with a frown, he was not a Jew nor did he ever want to be one, but the only reason why he was going was that it was important to his son. Morgan walked up to him and did his tie for him, "There sweetie you look handsome!" Morgan said kissing him on the cheek.
"Morgan I'm still sad that we won't be having another baby," Zarbon said looking at her sadly.
"Don't worry about that, we still have two other kids to concern ourselves with." She said taking him by the arm.
"You're right I…"
Before Zarbon could finish, Bulma ran into the room looking panicked, "Morgan, Zarbon where did Vegeta go?" She asked.
"I thought he was with you?" Morgan asked.
"I thought so too!" Bulma said.
"He probably went to take a smoke outside or something," Zarbon said.
"No he didn't he usually tells me when he's going to because I make him do it! He did not leave a note or anything! We might need to call the police!" Bulma said.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "I'm pretty sure that if the police knew he was a Sayain and not a human then he'd be in bigger trouble." Zarbon said.
"Where do you think he could have gone Bulma?" Morgan asked.
"I have no idea!" Bulma yelled crying, they sat on the couch comforting her while her stupid, arrogant husband was flying in the air on his way to Bora Bora.
A couple of days later, after getting lost over the sea and almost getting eaten by sharks and cannibals, Vegeta landed in Bora Bora, this time it was the right island.
Issy and Trunks were playing out in the ocean splashing each other in the beautiful turquoise ocean, they were making out then Vegeta had to show up, his new daughter-in-law making out with his son grossed him out.
Then he decided to make them mad at him, he faked up a smile and then yelled hoping to embarrass them "I'm here kids!"
Issy turned to her hotel room hut on the ocean and she lifted an eyebrow, "Trunks is that your dad?" She asked.
"Nope never seen him in my life," Trunks said sweating up a storm.
"Issy! Trunks how is the water? I would like to jump into it!" Vegeta said taking his shirt off revealing an unflattering bathing suit, which made him look like he was a stripper from Chip N Dales.
"Its official I'm scared for life!" Issy said digging her head onto Trunks.
"Here I come!" Vegeta jumped into the water splashing both Issy and Trunks, "Ops I guess I don't know my own strength!" he said.
Issy then whispered into Trunk's ear, "Trunks I need to talk to you underwater!" she said.
"But I can't talk underwater, it's too salty!" Trunks said.
"Let's swim to the dock then," Issy said taking Trunks by the hand and swimming over to the dock.
"What is he doing here? He's going to ruin everything!" Issy said.
"Not if we ruin his time first," Trunks said.
"What are you saying?" Issy asked.
"I have an idea we'll drive him away, trust me I know his biggest weaknesses." Trunks said.
"Agreed!" Issy said as she and Trunks laughed evilly.
Meanwhile at the synagogue since it was a holiday and people attended the synagogue on religious observances, Zarbon was walking his way to the synagogue with ZJ, Bra and ZJ's two kids Zarbon the Third and Joseph.
"Thanks for filling in for Mr. Brief's dad, you didn't have to." ZJ said.
"Trust me, he leaves me to a whole bunch of chores to do that he can't seem to finish." Zarbon said smiling rather cocky.
Meanwhile on the other side of the parking lot, Zarbon and Morgan's Olga dragged her husband Jada Banks, Jada was a strict Catholic and usually was the one who dragged Olga to the church, but in this case, he had to attend synagogue for religious observations.
"Damn it Olga I can't believe that you dragged me to this sinful place," Jada said fixing his tie.
"Look Jada you always drag me to that damn church of yours, and usually I'm the one getting called sinful! You're damn lucky they'll let you into this synagogue since it's a reform, because if it was a Hasidic or an Orthodox synagogue then you wouldn't be allowed it." Olga said.
"See Jesus saw what the Jewish people did to corrupt the…" Jada then saw Zarbon and his family. "There's Zarbon what's he doing here?" Jada asked.
"His son is a convert to Judaism and he's been taking Mr. Brief's daughter to the synagogue hoping to make a convert out of her," Olga said.
"Time to rub it in his face," Jada said walking over to him.
"Dad Mr. Banks is coming over here to say hi." ZJ said.
Zarbon looked and saw Jada, the one who usually said to Zarbon that he was a sinful being because of the fact that he was a spiritualist like his girlfriend Morgan and because he was bisexual as well.
"Just pretend you don't know him!" Zarbon thought to himself, after all besides Tre Hoggets, Jada was in second place for the most annoying friend of Morgan's.
"Hello Zarbon lovely day isn't it?" Jada said.
"Hello Jada I never thought I would see you at a synagogue being a strict Catholic and all!" Zarbon said smiling cheesy.
"That was until I met Olga, she has changed me for the better!" Jada said wrapping an arm around Olga.
"Right you keep telling yourself that…" ZJ then interrupted Zarbon.
"Are we going to stand and chatter all day or are we going to have a good time?" ZJ asked taking Bra by the hand and taking her into the synagogue.
In Bora Bora Trunks and Issy decided to do something that might freak Vegeta out completely, they took a side trip to the Stingray City of Bora Bora. Vegeta was an infamous animal hater the only animals he liked were humans and Sayains with the addition of regular monkeys and apes.
"This is so fun ZJ I can't wait until the stingrays come and circle us!" Issy said.
"Me either, I can't wait to feed them!" Trunks said.
"Why do they call it stingray city?" Vegeta asked.
Trunks all the sudden whistled loudly and held the food up into the air, "Come and get it boys!"
All the sudden Vegeta saw dark shadows in the water approaching him, he was terrified he squirmed like a little baby and started sucking his thumb.
"They're so cute!" Issy said petting them on the fins, after all Issy came from an animal loving family.
"See dad nothing to be afraid of!" Trunks said petting them on the fins, Vegeta then saw the stingrays put themselves on Trunks' body as if they were humping or attacking him, but they were not, they just wanted food.
"Leave my son alone!" Vegeta then got the courage to go over to the stingrays and touch them, that dumb Sayain touched one of them on the tail, "Ouch shit!" Vegeta looked at his hand he saw what appeared to be a gigantic cut on his fingers. "Son we're leaving now!" he said.
"No dad I want to stay here, they're my friends!" Trunks said.
"They're wild animals son; they're dangerous to be around!" Vegeta said.
"Yah if you touch them on the spine or the tail then you'll going to get cut." Issy said continuing to pet them on the fins. She then saw that Vegeta was bleeding and thought to help him now that he was her father-in-law, "Mr. Briefs, let me help you with that cut." She said.
Vegeta had had enough of this nightmarish world, he then decided to do something drastic, he then threw a fireball to the point where Issy landed in a tree, Trunks landed on the beach and all the stingrays either died or landed on the beach with him.
"Trunks could you please help me down from here?" Issy asked.
Trunks helped Issy down then they saw Vegeta come out of the water and jive his hands, "There that took care of those monsters!" Vegeta yelled.
Trunks and Issy looked at the bodies of the mutilated stingrays from the blast and the ones that were lucky to not be mutilated lying dead on the beach, Issy then started crying "You horrible monster!" she said crying.
"I was just trying to protect…" Vegeta thought he was doing the right thing by protecting Trunks from the stingrays.
"Get out of here dad! You made my wife cry!" trunks said.
"But son I was only trying to…"
"You always ruin everything! You're ruin my baseball games, my personal life, and now you ruined my honeymoon get out of here I never want to see you again!" he said.
Vegeta then flew off to the other side of the island, "Trunks he didn't know any better, wasn't that a little harsh?" Issy asked.
"Harsh? He made you cry and killed a bunch of innocent stingrays!" Trunks said.
"But still he's your dad!" Issy said.
Meanwhile at the synagogue things did not get any better, Zarbon sat their board as heck.
Rabbi Goldstein then spoke up, "Here on Rosh Hashanah to read us a passage from the bible is our guest of honor from the Catholic church Mr. Jada Banks!"
Jada got up on stage and said a few things, "There once was a man named Jonah…" He said.
Then finally, they got to the end since it is a very boring story at times, "In conclusion God did not want Jonah to run away from his responsibilities! That is all I hope you learned a lot from this story!" Jada said walking down off the podium.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "How could he have been swallowed by a whale when whales don't live in warm water to being with?" Zarbon asked.
"Nobody is saying that religious texts are supposed to be correct dad, it's just a matter of belief is all." ZJ said.
"I believe we have some faces here that we haven't seen before who are those friends of yours ZJ?" Goldstein asked, after all Rabbi Goldstein and ZJ have become closer to one another after ZJ converted.
"Dad, Bra stand up!" ZJ said.
Zarbon stood up shyly while Bra waved at everyone, "Hi people! This is a lovely place you got here! When are we going to eat lunch I'm starving?" Bra yelled.
"Can you be anymore embarrassing?" Zarbon thought to himself.
"Hold on I need to call my dad on his cell phone!" Bra said.
Goldstein looked like he was about to turn red, "Dear don't you think you can take this conversation outside?" Goldstein asked.
"No way, thanks for asking though, it's a very important phone call!" she said.
So she called Vegeta on his cell phone all the way in Bora Bora, he decided to answer it, "Hello?" he asked.
"Daddy it's me Bra, mom is so worried that you might be dead or something!" Bra yelled aloud.
Goldstein smiled, "Never mind children, there's nothing in the Torah that says we can't eavesdrop!" Talk about stupid and totally disrespectful!
"Hold on daddy let me put you on speaker!" Bra then put Vegeta on speaker, "Say hello to all of my friends daddy!" Bra yelled.
"Your friends?" Vegeta asked.
"Yes at the synagogue!" Bra yelled.
"Nobody raped you did they?" Vegeta asked concerned.
"No daddy, Mr. Banks just got finished reading a really interesting story about running away from your responsibilities!" Bra said.
"How did it go honey?" Vegeta asked.
"I hope you have time for long stories because I do. It's about this guy that runs away from a city and he gets swallowed by a whale, although Zarbon said that it was actually fish that swallowed him since whales don't live in the Mediterranean!" Bra said.
"What's that got to do with running away?" Vegeta asked.
"The point is that you'll be swallowed by a fish too if you run from your responsibilities!" Bra said.
Vegeta then knew what he had to do, "You're right I shouldn't have tried to ruin Trunk's and Issy's honeymoon! I have to come back to the USA! Bye baby!" Vegeta yelled into the phone and hung up.
Later that night, Issy and Trunks were out looking for Vegeta in the late hours of the night, and then they came back to their hotel room and saw a note on the bed, Trunks picked it up and read it to himself.
"He went back to Washington DC!" He said.
"Yes we got rid of him!" Issy said.
"Yes! Now it's just us and not him!" Trunks said hugging her tightly.
Vegeta got back to Washington DC and at the end of Rosh Hashanah; Bulma forced Vegeta to the synagogue since poor Zarbon had to fill in for him days ago.
"So I believe we have a face here that we haven't seen before, stand up sir!" Rabbi Goldstein said.
Vegeta ignored him, "He's talking to you daddy!" Bra said.
Vegeta ignored her, then she raised her dad's hand up, "Here he is Rabbi Goldstein!" she yelled.
"So are you going to fulfill your responsibilities now that you're back?" Goldstein asked smiling.
"What do you pagans want from me?" Vegeta asked.
"It was just a joke, can't you take a joke?" Goldstein asked.
Vegeta then sat back down and pouted.
Needless to say Bra decided that being a Jew was too hard to think about and decided not to not only convert, but to stay as far away from that Synagogue as humanly possible.
Ever since Bra spoke too loudly on the phone, ZJ wanted nothing to do with this synagogue. He tried and tried to look for another one to go to, but in the end he decided to quit being a Jew…except he still had that golem and he still put incantations on it.
Morgan never had another miscarriage or children ever again, in fact to just be on the safe side, she went and had her ovaries removed for good! She was too old for this motherhood crap anyways!
So now it pretty much leaves Vegeta, he tried and tried not to think about how cruddy of a situation his son was in, but hey it was not his heart at stake here. Zarbon, Jada and the rest of the gang, yep nobody went back to that synagogue, not because they didn't like it or the people, but Bra pretty much ruined their perception on innocence.
Now what about that plant that Stalin's ghost gave to Morgan? What did this plant have anything to do with this? If in case you think this isn't so obvious, well let's just say that's another story, a very aggravating one at that.